Ep. 41 – Grimoire, Diadem, Sword, Basilisk

So, after the flying class, we went back to the Ravenclaw common room and sat close to the fireplace. Hogwarts is chilly at the end of September.

"Guys, I think I have enough knowledge to make that magic textbook we talked about. Give me a few minutes to think it through, then I'll make it." I said.

"Sure, I am happy already with just knowing we can do magic. The textbook is just an extra." Said Weiss.

Anyway, I started staring in the air. Well, I wasn't actually staring in the air, but that's what it looked like. Forget it. I started planning out my grimoire.

'First of all, basics of magic. Its properties, history, evolution. Then the classification of magic. Elemental, Soul, Mind, Healing, Death, Support, Summoning, Ritual, Runic, Time, Space, Miscellaneous. There are some magics that I really don't know what to classify, so those will be Miscellaneous magic. The rest are pretty self-explanatory. Now, the hardest part. All the stuff about 'convincing'. I need to pack it full of all sort of scientific and mathematical knowledge so that they can cast any magic they want. And I need to give them knowledge on the laws. Law of Magic, Elements, Soul, Death, Summoning, Life, etc. Ok, after that… Examples, useful standardized spells, oh, I'll also add a pseudo-cultivation technique to make their change into a half-human, half-spirit faster. That can only do them good. Of course I'll put all sorts of exercises and training methods I came up with. I should also add all of my knowledge on potions, materials, and magical creatures, though I'll tweak it to make everything better. Some more adjustments and… I'm done.'

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"Oh, just about 10 minutes. 9 minutes and 32 seconds, to be exact." Said Weiss.

"Well, that took less time than I thought it would. I gave myself about 20 minutes. Anyway, here you go." I said and created 9 grimoires. "Just touch them and the knowledge will enter your minds. Just this will make us the best wizards and witches in the universe. Oh, there are also some exercises and a 'cultivation' technique to speed up your transformation process."

Everyone had stars in their eyes. Books are nice, but studying? Not so much. Something that took me 10 minutes to compile is probably a few hundred thousand pages long. Wouldn't want to carry that around, would you? It might also be related to the fact that just this knowledge will make us the best wizards and witches on the planet. 'On the topic of cultivation, it's been a while since I've last done that. I did cultivate sporadically in the past years and, with my Akashic Engine, that alone was probably enough to make me immune to almost all kinds of damage in the Destiny Universe. I should create a grimoire about 'Light cultivation' for the gang. Oh, maybe Aura can be used as well. Making our souls immune to damage and stronger will surely be beneficial.'

It took me a couple of seconds to adapt that 'cultivation' technique for both Light and Aura. I made some grimoires for those as well.

"You should also use these grimoires. These are two other 'cultivation' techniques to use with Aura and Light. When you have the time, you should train all three of them." I said. "Oh, if you want, I found three treasures in this school. Just the location though, so we could get them whenever we want. Two are pretty easy, one might be a little more complicated. Nothing we can't get though."

This brings us to tonight, which means the night after I gave everyone the grimoires. We are currently going to the seventh floor by following our Ghosts' maps. We will begin by getting Ravenclaw's diadem, then the philosopher's stone, then Gryffindor's sword. Oh, this makes me wonder if I can get my hands on Mad-Eye Moody's magic eye. That thing is useless to the gang, but if I can add something to my robotic eyes, without it being creepy, then I'd say it's worth it. I don't really need it since I have the threat detector on my interface, but it might be useful for other things. What things? No idea, but I will find out.

I'm digressing. Seventh floor, opposite to the rug showing an idiot teaching bigger idiots how to dance: the Room of Requirement or RoR for short.

"Ok, we're here. Theoretically, walking by this wall three times thinking about what we want will make a room appear. It will satisfy our 'requirements'." I said, beginning to walk back and forth while thinking about the 'Room of Hidden Things'. Why do all names have to be long and stupid in this universe?

Surprise, surprise, the door opened up and we found ourselves in a total mess of a room.

"I really hope we won't have to comb through all this stuff… What are we searching for anyway?" said Jaune, which reminded me I still had to tell them what we are here for.

"We are here for Ravenclaw's diadem, one of the artefacts left by the founders of this school. It is said to enhance the wearer's intelligence, so it might be an interesting find. And we might want to comb through this room to get some interesting things, but we don't need to do that now." I said. Weiss then used magic to lead us to the oldest thing in the room. Excellent thinking. The magic trail lead us straight to the diadem and we immediately noticed the soul remnant attached to the thing.

"Great. The diadem itself lost its functionality, but it will still become a piece of our collection! And my semblance eliminates the problem either way."

Pyrrha used magic to exterminate the soul remnant with extreme prejudice. Since I was in the right mood, I took out Slytherin's locket and did the same to that part of Voldyfuck's soul.

"You had another one?" asked Blake

"Well, I found this when we searched the Black manor. I knew there was something about it, but I found out exactly what only now. The soul remnant in this locket is much less evident than the diadem's. The one who did this definitely practiced before creating the locket. Anyway, the diadem and locket are now free from curses, souls, and the like. Their functionality is ruined but it's not like I can't do anything about it. Do you want to get the other two treasures? They are a sword and a stone." I answered. What I said about the locket is kinda true: only now that I 'made' Soul magic could I safely remove the soul without destroying the thing.

"Sure, not enough adventure for tonight. This castle is getting boring fast." Said Sun.

We quickly blasted through the obstacles set for the philosopher's stone. When we arrived to the Erised Mirror, I explained that it shows your deepest desires. One by one, we all checked what it showed, before dispelling the enchantment and taking the stone.

We talked a little about what we saw and I must say, we are really unimaginative. We all saw the ten of us, with or without other family members. We were all laughing hard and our wives were holding some kids. Now, you might be asking why the mirror would show that to everyone? Well, we are basically family at this point. My dream, as I told Weiss a few years ago, is having a happy family and having fun adventuring across the multiverse. You can guess the rest. I am extremely happy everyone thinks the same. Well, with some differences. Sun for example didn't see kids, though he would say that only to me, Jaune, and Ren. He said he was still afraid he wasn't ready, so it didn't show up in his vision. We obviously cheered him up. I am not ready as well, but that is my goal.

Anyway, we got the stone and I checked it out with my semblance. To put it simply, this is a highly compressed alchemic equivalent of my Akashic Engine. To put it in layman's terms, a shit-ton of magic and runes packed tightly into a stone, with the sole function of powering alchemic processes. The life-extending liquid should be pure magic, while the gold is a product of alchemy. Well, now I know how it is made and I can put as many as I like in our equipment, with some modification. They will basically be battery packs for when the gang is out of magic, Light, or Aura. Nice. Oh, by the way, I am storing this, the diadem, and the locket in my inventory. We will put them in the ship after we take the sword.

We moved back towards the third floor. The fluffy good boi was still asleep since I casted an overpowered sleep spell on him. Oh, look who I found, Quirrelmort.

"Good evening Mr. Quirrel! What brings you here on this beautiful evening?" I asked with a light tone, then looked in his eyes and searched his mind. Looks like Voldy wants to drag us into his mess. You know what, this might be fun. "Oh, Voldemort, can't you teach your blood bags how to defend their mind better? Well, doesn't matter, I have already searched his mind. Here you go. Start whatever you want to start after we leave the school and we won't have problems. See ya!" I said while creating a new, cursed philosopher's stone and tossing it to him. The gang realized that it was cursed, as well as what exactly I was talking about since they searched his mind already.

What curse did I cast? Oh, very simple: a curse that will gradually poison the user's soul. If Voldy uses it, let's just say he won't stick around too long, even with his horcruxes. So devilish, right?

"Anyway, let's ignore that and onwards to the sword!" I said to the gang, ignoring the stunned Quirrelmort. They all had cold smiles on their faces. Apparently Voldy wasn't well liked even by extra-dimensional visitors.

Well, we moved towards the Headmaster's office and unlocked the stone door. The one with the sweets as password. Seriously, how stupid can that be. We used our personal cloaking devices so that the paintings wouldn't recognize us, though Fawkes might. I'll have fried chicken if the bird tries anything.

"So, where is this sword?" asked Jaune. He was particularly hyped about getting this artefact.

"Well, this is the problem. The sword will only appear for a true Gryffindor. If I had to judge, you and Sun are the two most similar to the requirements. Try putting your hand in the hat and thinking about a sword. Maybe it will appear." I said, explaining roughly how the thing works.

Sun was the first to try. He put his hand deep into the hat and tried thinking about the sword. It sounds awful and no luck. Jaune was the next to try. He went up to the hat and put a hand inside. He grasped something and pulled out a sword.

"Well, we have a Gryffindor! Hurrah, hurrah!" said Pyrrha, jumping up and down.

"Congratulations Jaune, tomorrow you can sit with those brats!" said Yang. She had come to detest the Gryffindors after a certain incident, which means the Weasley twins messing with her. Needless to say, the pranks stopped completely after I had a 'talk' with them. Nothing too serious though, they are just young and stupid. Actually, those two are intelligent. Very much so to come up with so many joke products.

Jaune was looking at the sword, its sharpness and handling. Then he threw it towards me.

"Tula, you can take it. It doesn't feel right in my hand. Though, I would be happy if you could add its effects to my weapon!" he said. Well, this is a much more slender sword than his, so I guess he isn't used to it.

"Sure, no problem. This will be another exposition piece then. Hey, since we are here, why not check out the Headmaster's private library. Maybe we will find some other interesting gimmick as well." I said, storing the sword. It was legendary in quality according to the interface, so not too shabby. I did look at it with my semblance, and it is basically enchanted with self-evolution, which is sick and will be a great addition to our gear. They are already made of one of the best materials in the multiverse, imagine what will happen if we get some more stuff.

Anyway, since everyone agreed, we went towards Dumbles' library and ransacked it. I also found the invisibility mantle and stored it. I saw his wand lying around and thought to myself: 'A magic stick supposedly made by Death itself? Mine!' and stored it. I am sure that Dumbles will not alert anyone about this little heist since it would be bad for the greatest Light Lord to be robbed in his castle. Even if he does, will he inspect the ship? No, so there is no evidence. 'Heh, perfect crime accomplished. Though, seriously, getting stuff here in Hogwarts is too easy. It doesn't feel like a real treasure hunt. I hope the world and the Goblins have more to offer.'

I checked the two 'Deathly Hallows' with my semblance. To be honest, I don't see anything special about them. Yes, the runes and enchantments are much better than normal, but it's not like they are godly equipment. The wand basically only uses ambient magic, which is why it allows the user to cast a lot more magic and make it more powerful by adding their own magic to the mix. That is a pretty good effect, to be honest, and I will certainly put it in my

The gang was pretty satisfied, so we quickly catalogued what we got and went back to the Ravenclaw common room. We shared a drink, before hitting the sack. Not before some exercise though.

The next morning, we had breakfast in Italy, in Naples to be precise. Contrary to what many might think, we didn't get mugged and enjoyed a sfogliatella and an espresso. Well, getting mugged might still happen, though it didn't to us. Anyway, we returned to Hogwarts around the middle of breakfast time. We were early today just to see Dumbles' and Quirrel's faces. When we entered the Great Hall, I immediately noticed that Quirrel had a shit eating grin, which means he followed my advice and didn't start anything. What a good boy, don't you think? Dumbles on the other hand… he was royally pissed. He was looking at each and every single student, probably looking through their minds. We were all masters at Occlumency, which means he would only see us sharing a drink yesterday evening, if we allowed him. Otherwise, he would see absolutely nothing, pitch-black. I can present proof that being surrounded by a pitch-black environment is probably one of the worst feelings in the whole multiverse. It doesn't cause pain, but it surely messes with your mind. It might be just me though, so don't take my word for it.

After breakfast, the gang went to the ship to start that ritual to purify their energies. I should probably do that sometime soon but for now I have an old snek to get. Oh, but before that, I need to get Harry Potter's memories on Parseltongue. Hopefully they are there, otherwise I will have to modify my spell on the fly and scour all his knowledge.

Anyway, I saw Harry and the pest leaving the Great Hall to get to class, so I cloaked myself and followed him. When he got to a rather deserted area, I knocked him and Weasley out and dragged them to an empty classroom. No one should have seen that. I opened Harry's eyes and scoured his memories. Parseltongue was not there, with the exception of his stunt at the zoo. I learnt that little bit of snek tongue, then adjusted my spell. I then went through his knowledge and found nothing. Then, I remembered something about him being an horcrux, so I used soul magic to search Voldy's soul remnant. I found info on Parseltongue, as well as a couple more interesting things, then destroyed the soul.

I left them in the empty classroom. They haven't seen me, so they should think about something like taking a nap and being late to class. Well, it doesn't concern me anyway. Actually, I should be thanked: Harry isn't an horcrux anymore, isn't a Parseltongue, and Voldemort will probably die due to the curse on the philosopher's stone after I destroy his last horcruxes.

At any rate, I am a Parseltongue now, so I went to that crying dead bitch's bathroom and opened the way to the Chamber of Secrets. I might have exorcised the crying mess on my way down, though you have no proof to accuse me.

I reached the Chamber of Secrets after a short jog. I felt my joints a little stiff recently, though that isn't physically possible, so maybe a psychological factor? Like phantom pain? Well, I reached the gate and said in snek: "FBI! Open up!" and nothing happened. This bitch of a glorified door fusses too much about details, so I blasted it open with my rocket launcher. I'm becoming petty, sue me.

I entered the dark shit hole that is the Chamber of Secrets and called out to the Basilisk. I deactivated my eyesight and relied on my threat detector and Light sonar to see.

"Yo! Oversized snake! Come out!"

Then from the statue at the far end of the chamber, the basilisk slithered out.

"You are not my master… Who are you, wizard?" it asked in a weary but deep voice.

"Your master has been dead for centuries. I am here to give you a very simple choice: you come with me willingly or you come with me unwillingly. Which do you chose?" I said. 'God the thing is ugly. Almost house-elf level of ugliness.'

"How dare you?! Spouting such nonsense on my master… I will kill you…" it said. 'Nice, unwillingly it is.'

I took my 'Doom of Chelchis' and shot the thing straight in the head with all armor penetration perks activated. To my great surprise, the bullets just made a scratch. Well, I did kinda expect it, but magic apparently makes normal bullets less effective. Ollivander and Tiffany probably didn't have enough magic to put up some resistance, but a thousand year old basilisk? You can bet your ass it does.

Needless to say, the beast wasn't amused. I wasn't amused as well, so I summoned my mini-Crota to either kill the snek or at least gain time. Gain time for what? Well, I switched my weapon to the 'Thorn', so time until the 'Devouring' bullets kill the thing. I can't bring it with me alive due to my honestly poor choice of words. 'Maybe I just wanted to kill this thing…'

I shot several times in the basilisk's mouth as it fought against my summon. I was keeping my semblance active in case it picked up something interesting, like maybe how those instant death eyes work. Why would I want instant death eyes? The answer is that the 'Avadakedabra', or whatever it's called, curse is a very low level instant death magic. I did create some higher level spells based on that, but the quality is quite mediocre. If I can get my filthy hands on those eyes, I could make some very interesting instant death spells.

My summon was certainly wounding the basilisk, though it was nothing major due to its magic resistance. 'If I ever end up in the Nasuverse, I need to check whether I can recreate the Servants' skills and Noble Phantasms. Those things are OP. A fucking sword to destroy the world? I want it. I need it.'

Anyway, the 'Devouring' bullets worked and the basilisk dropped dead after a few more minutes and bullets. The thing was tough, as expected from a thousand year old magic beast. I stored the corpse in my inventory to keep it safe and preserve it. 'At any rate, basilisk acquired!'