Ep. 107 - Droid Army, Darth Maul, And Now We Wait
Obviously, the Senate couldn't continue in fear of dying at the first wrong move. My curse was unforgiving and very strict. ten more Senators died before the meeting was called off. I was laughing my ass off as they fell from their doughnuts and tumbled to the ground, becoming abstract art on the floor. I gave PTSD to most of the people there, while some were not corrupted so they were feeling safe.
Once Padme was back in her room, I returned to 30th Haven and left a Force Projection of myself there. It is enough to scare anyone out of attempting something not cash-money. We will be returning to Naboo tomorrow, with a small fleet in tow. Padme probably won't be enlisting the Gungans' help this time as she has more than enough support. Oh, I also made it so that the Trade Federation doesn't receive orders to retreat or anything like that. It would be annoying to wipe them out, since I want to do it manually.
Well, I spent the rest of the day lazing around. Actually not, I modified and improved all of the lightsabers I collected throughout the years and sent them to the Tower of Knowledge. I did mention that I have an armory in there, right? Well, I do and it is filled with all the important weapons from the worlds we visited. While I could get the weapons from all universes with a snap of my fingers, I enjoy the feeling of collecting stuff. Oh, I also have the Darksaber, but I don't like the grip. It's too rectangular and just doesn't feel right. All the weapons are divided by category and firepower, though they are mainly for exposition and having some souvenirs.
The next day, we met up with Padme. She had bags under her eyes, so I guess that she spent the night internalizing everything that happened yesterday. Eh, I don't care enough about her to do something about it. We boarded the Nubian ship and YEET'ed ourselves towards Naboo, followed by the military fleet sent by Palpatine. The Jedi were not aboard our ship as they were pretty useless with us here. Oh, now that I think about it, yesterday there was a Jedi that came to me and demanded I followed him to the Temple. Needless to say, I didn't like his attitude, so I tortured him lightly and sent him back to the Jedi Council. Haa, this Young Master is generous, otherwise they would all be dead.
It took quite a while to reach Naboo. The Nubian ship will land, along with some smaller landing crafts from the military. They will be in charge of liberating Theed. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are also included in the group. I checked with Omniscience and found that they will confront Darth Maul like in canon. I didn't exactly mention this before, but I put a little enchantment on Qui-Gon: when he is about to die, his body will be exchanged with a clone and he will be healed and transported to 30th Haven. We, however, will be in our own starfighters to destroy the Lucrehulk-class control ships. That will be fun as fuck. Oh, the Idiot Federation noticed our contingent and unleashed their droid-starfighters.
Me and the gang teleported outside, in the cold reaches of space, then got our personal fighters out. We started maneuvering and zipping through the droids and the starfighters sent out by the Republic's army. A few idiots shot at us, but we all ignored them. I secretly cut through them with the wings of my vessel, since they pissed me off. The enhanced 'Silverwing Kestrel' was way too fast for anyone to notice that the human ships exploded not because of a stray missile, but because of me. I mean, the hull was black with white engravings, so it was pretty mimetic in space. Inside my cockpit, I had a 3D map of the battlefield, so I was just kinda ramming my ship inside the droids like a game of 'Snake'. Each droid was a point, and I was in the hundreds. What a shame that the Lucrehulk is mainly for the land army, or this fight might have been fun.
I was also monitoring the fight on the ground. The human army was almost overwhelmed by the superior numbers, so it was time to destroy the big bois. I located the generators and other vital areas of the command ship and fired a few missiles. They were some experimental stuff Hephaestus had come up with. They basically travel at the speed of light and have the destructive power of a localized supernova, similar to Milim's Drago Nova. To us, the explosion would be just the right temperature for a fireplace, but it was incredibly destructive for anyone else. As you would expect, the command ship exploded like a firework during New Year's.
On the surface, Qui-Gon had just been 'killed' by Darth Maul, while Obi-Wan was, surprisingly knocked out. I teleported in front of Maul and smiled at him.
"Hello there, kiddo. Had a hard time killing that Jedi? Blame your own weakness." I ignited my lightsaber and beckoned him over. Maul attacked me relentlessly while I was simply inclining a little here, a little there, a step back, a step to the side… The Sith thought he had me with his attacks and 'backed' me against the wall.
"I've got you now! I will make you suffer!" he shouted. I smirked and started with cutting off his hands. Then, I targeted his horns and 'shaved' him. Ooh, that must have hurt… Or maybe not, they are vestiges, similar to cow hooves. He still winced in pain, so I guess that there are some nerves in those things. I slowly and menacingly moved in closer and stopped only a few centimeters from him. He actually stumbled and fell to the floor, so he started scuttling back.
I don't know why, but I remembered something, something very creepy that I did back in the original Remnant when I was weak and pathetic. I started whistling 'Mirror Mirror' in the most ominous and creepy way possible. I even enhanced my voice and laced it with the laws related to fear, insanity, and despair. My voice resounded throughout this entire universe and will forever remain a mystery. For maul, however… I became his worst fear. He started screaming and crying and tried getting back to his feet. I obviously cut them really slowly, to make him feel pain. Since that wasn't enough, I created a few stakes out of jagged metal and impaled him through various areas, including the knees, which I purposefully left intact, the elbows, the shoulders, and his stomach.
"A couple of minutes ago, you were saying that I would suffer… Come on, I am still waiting." I waited a couple of seconds but could see that he wouldn't answer. "Nothing? What a shame… Well, weak master, weak apprentice. You should see my apprentice. She was already the single strongest being in this universe before becoming like me… Well, I will make your soul be useful, so rejoice, for your suffering has just begun." I said and shoved his soul into a new 'Faith Battery'.
I took his lightsaber and stored it. Then, I turned around and started whistling again, this time I was melodious and pleasant to hear. I laced it with a little bit of laws related to healing, calm, and tranquility. I heard Ren's voice telling me not to steal his area of competence, but I am sure that it was an auditory hallucination. Seeing as the boy was still out, I took Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan's lightsabers. I left him with a custom hilt and crystal to compensate. I then teleported the bodies back to the Republic's ship. they will take care of everything else.
'Let's head back.' I said as a mental message to the gang, then teleported to 30th Haven. After a second or two, the others arrived too.
In the distance, I could see Qui-Gon meditating, so I went towards him.
"Peaceful, isn't it?" I asked while looking towards the ocean.
"Indeed it is. I had no idea that death would be so… Relaxing."
"Ah, that. You're not dead. You're on my planet. Before you ask, no, you can't go back to Coruscant. I need you to stay 'dead' for a decade in order for Obi-Wan to become who he should be. But worry not, you will not age while on this planet, so you have all the time in the world."
"I expected as much when I didn't feel the lightsaber wound. Very well, it seems that my Padawan will become someone of importance if you are promoting his growth. I am happy that he won't fall to the Dark Side or anything similar." Eh, that's debatable. I kinda wanted to take a Dark Obi-Wan as an apprentice and wreak havoc in the galaxy. That would have been fun.
"Uhm… What do you usually do here?" he asked after realizing that a decade is a long time for a human.
"Barbecues, sunbathing, fishing, swimming, snorkeling, sailing, sleeping, sleeping with company, waking up with people on my face, you know, the usual stuff. Oh, there's also a meditation and training area that Sara here used to use."
"Right… Did you, by any chance, get my lightsaber?" I passed a copy of his lightsaber. I slightly enhanced it because I wanted to.
"Here you go. I made it a little better as well."
Oh, why am I collecting lightsabers? Well, you know how everyone has a special attack of some sort? Well, since we are universe-traveling, chaos-bringers, chill-seeking monsters, I thought I could do something like: 'I'll show you the full might of the universe!' and summon all my lightsabers with an illusion of their original owner. Like, imagine thousands, if not hundred of thousands of ghosts wielding lightsabers and rushing at you. I like it more and more. I don't know who I would actually use it on, but I'll use it if I have a chance. I should get myself summoned as a Servant and use it as my Noble Phantasm. I would have several of them: my island, my Shipgirls, my Gungirls, my lightsabers, and some reality-breaking magic. Yeah, I could see myself as a Grand Archer or maybe a Foreigner. Maybe a Grand Caster as well.
Anyway, Qui-Gon got used to being basically confined on a deserted island with me and the gang pretty soon. Well, he stayed in the meditation chamber and training room most of the time. I also gave him access to a smaller library that contained all books and holocrons from this universe, and he loved it.
Personally, I spent my days with my wives. Hearing me whistle that song got Weiss in the mood to sing, so I often spent time just listening to her. She's a really good singer, you know?
Oh, there's something interesting that I discovered, more like the Voice told me: Faith is indeed a part of what is needed to evolve. Basically, I cemented my position as an Omniversal being, but I am an unknown to the actual inhabitants of the Omniverse. This doesn't mean that I have to visit every single universe, but I need to have the people acknowledge me as a Godly being. It can be a legend, a title, some grand event, anything as long as I get my name out there. Oh, that alone is not sufficient to evolve, mind you. I still don't know what the missing element is, but I have the inkling that it is related to why memories of the original Remnant suddenly pop up in my mind.
You know what? Since I was bored, I decided to actually train a little. I never actually did so after reincarnating because that Tiffany/God idiot messed up and basically gave me instant mastery, though it was heavily nerfed. Well, it's not like I need to train, but I felt like it. So I started with the lightsaber forms that are currently in use. It took me maybe an hour before mastering them all. Since it was so easy, I went further and improved for a couple of hours. Godly level reached. I then 'downloaded' all the perfected techniques from my crystal and started training using them. Since I am an extra, I put myself under an illusion to witness all techniques in the Omniverse, so now I have the perfected version of all techniques in existence. Pretty darn nice. I started practicing everything and it took me a couple of years to reach a decent level in all techniques. And by 'decent' I mean that no one can beat me now. If we follow the same evolution pattern as we did, I am at Concept Origin, or maybe I should say Technique Origin, level in all techniques. It is the maximum I can do right now, both with my physique and comprehension.
Since I still had time, I practiced a bit of every intent form and actually mastered every law. Eh, that wasn't too hard. I basically already did so 'passively' thanks to my race and bloodline, but practicing 'actively' was nice as well. I then went to arts and crafts, because I wanted to. I actually learnt how to play every instrument out there, even those complicated, sci-fi, jazzy-jazz things in the Cantina in Mos Eisley. Took another year to do so. I think I became incapable of sitting with my hands still for more than a few days, so I started giving an upgrade to the Voice. Well, that was pretty much useless like those updates that say 'Bugs fixed'.
After the third year of me actually doing something that isn't sleeping or reading, my wives got worried. In the googols of years they have known me, never have I been so 'active' and a training maniac. I calmed them down saying that I was testing something for our next evolution. Not exactly right, but neither is it completely wrong. Well, when I usually say that I am working for our next evolution, it means that I am doing it for them, so my waifus calmed down and let me do what I wanted. Working on the law of Bullshitting really helped me.
Oh, since I was in the mood, I also practiced all the cultivation techniques in existence. And I mean all of them, from the worst to the best in the Omniverse. I mean, all the drawbacks are nullified because I am a God, so why not? I cheated to do this, because I used Omnipresence to practice them all.
And… I have nothing else to do. By the ninth year of waiting, I literally did everything I could think of, so I returned to chilling with the waifus and gang. Well, I took up meditation, which was actually really nice to keep my mind off of sadistic thoughts or training.
Oh, Shmi appeared on the planet a few months ago. Her face was priceless when she didn't see the Tuskens' ugly mugs but my handsome appearance. Totally not being a narcissist here. I had to explain a few things to her under the pretext of the Force. Qui-Gon also helped her calm down, as she had already met him when Anakin was a child. Well, he still is, but those are details. Oh, speaking of Qui-Gon, he has improved by leaps and bounds and can be easily considered the strongest and most knowledgeable Jedi of this era. Obviously, he's nothing compared to Sara at the time of her final test, but she trained for over 1500 years, so it's absolutely normal.
And so, me and the gang just observed the galaxy for the past year. It was annoying to deal with all the deaths and births, the happiness and the sorrow, the good and the bad.
As Loki justly said: "We are Gods. Beings that are superior to those concepts. Why should we even look at these guys that can't entertain us?"
And then it just kinda clicked.
"We are not exactly Gods. We are humans, and Faunus and some other races, turned into Godly existences." And I may have just found the key to evolving again.