Chapter 1: Pilot

 A generic anime girl and boy are standing, facing one another.

Girl: I-I love you

The boy looks away then looks back

Boy: I love you too!

They both run towards each other and embrace each other in a hug. Jumpcut to a wedding where normal wedding ceremonies are taking place.

Marriage dude: Do you take her as your lawfully wedded wife?

Groom: I do

Marriage dude: And do you take him as your lawfully wedded husband, together and forever?

Bride: I do

Marriage dude: you may now kiss the bride

They kiss and then credits start appearing. Music plays in the background.

Cut to a boy watching the tv. 

Boy: Oh my god! The main couple of the show are now married. It's so… boring. BORING BORING BORING. Ugh, I hate romcoms! It pisses me off. They're so generic and uninteresting, this one didn't even have a gimmick! It was just two people who are clearly gonna end up together going through the same slow burn as the writers just keep stalling the inevitable! This stuff is so trash, am I right todd? 

Another boy is seen sitting on the bed of the first boy's room.

Todd: I don't know, it was kinda cool seeing the wholesome relationship develop. I kinda liked it.

Boy: What? It was just the same tropes repeated, it wasn't even funny either. It was just fanservice and there wasn't the slightest hint of anything good, not even a drop of drama!

Todd: Sorry Ethan, but for me it wasn't all that bad. Although, I wouldn't say it's perfect or anything. 

Ethan: Finally some sense, I mean who would waste their time on this stuff?

Todd: Did you not just watch all 24 episodes including the OVA?

Ethan: That's beside the point, it was still dull as hell. I just kept on watching so I could see the end and compare it to the other dull romcoms.

Todd: Mhm, whatever you say man.

Ethan: I mean dude, could you just like imagine if our highschool life was as boring as that?

Todd: I mean, I wouldn't complain if our freshman year played out like the show. There won't be any fights or crazy things that'll happen.

Ethan: Exactly! Imagine a whole year of slow burn romance, that would be hell. I want love triangles, fight scenes, and dramatic moments, not some generic romance crap. Freshman year has to be awesome!

Todd: Speaking of freshman year, we got the schedules. It looks like we'll have homeroom together. One on a and one on b days.

Ethan: awesome! At least I'll see you in homeroom every day. Can't wait for the first day of highschool.

Timeskip to the first day.

Ethan does his daily routine, wakes up to his alarm, brushes his teeth etc.

Ethan hums we didn't start the fire as he walks down a road. 

Ethan: Imagine if I got isekaid on my first day. That would be-

A truck begins traveling towards him. Ethan looks at it and his eyes widen in fear. Instinctively, his legs move and Ethan barely makes it to jump out of the way

Ethan: Holy- I could have died there! Guess it's my lucky d-

As he says that a motorbike goes towards him.

Motorcycle driver: WATCH OUT!

Ethan: Woah!

Ethan manages to jump forward in time and lands on his butt on the ground. He lets out a sigh and looks to his left, only to see wheels coming towards him. Jumpcuts between the wheels and Ethan's face multiple times

Ethan: screams

The wheels make a small thud, as Ethan looks up only to see a small tricycle piloted by a little kid. 

Little kid: sowwy

Ethan: it's fine

As he waves the kid away and walks to school

Ethan: hmm I feel… weird

Ethan goes to his high school and walks down. He finds his class and opens the door, he gets greeted by Todd.

Todd: Hey man! How's it going?

Ethan: Nothing much, actually I almost got run over twice and then this kid… hit me… with his… tricycle. (His voice begins to slow down and slur as he looks around with worry)

Todd: You okay man?

Ethan looks around the class room and begins to panic, his eyes scurrying.

Ethan: No, this can't be. It's impossible.

Todd: What do you mean?

Ethan points towards the students of his class.

Ethan: multicolored hair, short skirted uniforms, gyarus, delinquents…

Todd: What are you saying?

Ethan takes a deep breath.

Ethan: I think my life's a romcom. 

The teacher arrives and asks everyone to sit down. Ethan sits down in the corner right behind Todd and right next to the window. There is a girl with blonde hair sitting next to him. Tood looks around only to see a hyperventilating Ethan.

Teacher: Hello everyone, my name is Mr. Bradford, I'll be your homeroom teacher for this year. Alright, I'll call on you guys one by one, when I call you, say one interesting fact.

 The teacher goes one by one starting alphabetically. Todd turns around again towards Ethan while the teacher and the students ramble in the background.

Todd: dude, uhh are you on drugs or something. 

Ethan snaps out of his trance. 

Ethan: huh? Oh…. no 

Ethan then begins pinching himself and laughing maniacally like a crazy person.

Ethan: AHAHAHAHA this isn't a dream! AHAHAAHA 

He then gets called on by the teacher.

Teacher: Ethan Marshall? 

Ethan raises his hand.

Ethan: that's me

Teacher: gimme one fun fact about yourself

Ethan: haha one fun fact?

He looks around the room and then begins rocking back and forth.

Ethan: I hate romcoms I hate romcoms I hate romcoms I hate romcoms 

Another student with orange hair whispers to another student with blue hair: I think he hates romcoms

Teacher: Uhh ooooohh kay. Moving on. 

Todd: Dude, do you need help? 

Ethan continues rocking back and forth and muttering i hate romcoms

Teacher: Todd wayward?

Todd raises his hand

Todd: That's me! Uhhh I like to watch tv

Teacher: Alright, that's everyone. You guys can go ahead and chat around. It's the first day after all. 

The students immediately get up and start standing and talking in groups. Todd goes to console Ethan.

Todd: What's wrong with you? 

Ethan stops and stares at him. He smiles creepily.

Ethan: Can't you see? We're living in a romance comedy. 

Todd: Eww you look cree- wait what?

Ethan: I'm in shock too, but we are currently living in a romcom. A boring, generic, high school rom com/

Todd: Uh huh, and what makes you say that?

Ethan begins shaking Todd violently then grabs his head and forces him to look around the classroom.

Ethan: LOOK AROUND MAN! LOOK AT THEIR HAIR

Every student has some variation of multicolored hair ranging from purple to green to all sorts of non natural colors.

Todd: So they dyed it? How is this proof that we're in a romcom.

Ethan: COME ON! When's the last time you've seen multicolored hair on someone? Like, not even a normal color like blonde, I'm talking this kid got blue, this guy got some neon red, and she got purple!

Ethan waves his hand towards his classmates.

Todd: I don't know! It could just be a coincidence, maybe hair dye is just popular.

Ethan: really. You think ANYONE who's going to highschool dyes their hair on the first day. Not even normal colors, we got the whole ass rainbow up in here! 

Todd: How does this relate to romcoms?

Ethan pulls out his phone and taps on it. He begins scrolling down showing pictures of anime characters with multicolored hair.

Ethan: all of these are romcom characters, notice something? 

He flashes between them and they look extremely similar.

Ethan: You can see most students here have multicolored hair, but when you were walking you didn't see any other people with weird hair right? Only this specific classroom, and it just happens to contain every rainbow head in the entire school.

Todd: Huh, wait why the hell are you making sense.

Ethan: Now you get it right?

Todd: (furrowed brow) it's still too early to come up with conclusions, especially ones as crazy as that.

Ethan: Alright, what about the skirts? Don't you notice that all the girls' skirts are super short.

Todd: So? What does that have to do with anything 

Ethan: It's perfect for sudden bursts of wind for some easy fan service, or some sly panty shots. 

Todd: You're overthinking things. 

Ethan: Look around! You can see all sorts of stereotypical romcom groups. You got the nerds with glasses, jocks, delinquents, the weirdos, and the popular girls. 

As he says this he points towards groups of people in class, first being a group of normal haired boys with glasses on, then a group of people with warm colors for their hair (red, yellow, orange) and a boy with lime green and a boy with bright blue hair, after he points towards a group of shady people with piercings and darkish hair with two girls and two boys, then he points towards some people sitting at their desk doing nothing, there's a silver haired boy, a purple haired girl, and a green haired girl with glasses. Finally, he points towards a group of girls with blonde, brown, pink, and even blue/indigo hair.

Todd: (mockingly) What?! A highschool classroom has high school cliques?! This surely means that my life is a romcom, I'm not delusional at all! Come on get it together!

Ethan: Alright man, I'm just saying, they're a bit too stereotypical. Like I can easily tell the cliques just by looking.

Todd: First of all, that's assuming, it's 2024, and second, what's more likely, that people in our homeroom class just like to dye their hair, or that we are living in a tv show.

Ethan: Tv show.

Todd: Ugh dude, you aren't Truman and this isn't Truman show. Stop with these delusions.

Ethan: IT IS! LOOK AT THE HAIR.

The two begin bickering and their conversation isn't audible as a strange boy with curly brown hair and glasses begins to barge in.

Ethan: -those boobs are way too big for a freshman! 

Todd: stop staring at them!

Ethan: How else am I supposed to tell what size they are?

Todd: you're gonna get cal-

Glasses boy: ahem excuse me gentlemen

Todd and ethan stop their bickering and stare at the boy

Todd and Ethan together: Who are you?

Glasses boy: Ah, mind my manners. The name's john, john wandlord.

Todd and Ethan take a look at each other, cuts to Ethan staring at the viewers, then cuts to Todd staring at the viewers. 

Todd and ethan begin laughing hysterically

Todd: wandlord? What type of goofy name is that? 

Ethan: He sound like a new york time's bestselling author 

John: Hey that's rude and… oddly specific? 

Ethan and Todd then grow silent… and then look at each other. They then proceed to crack up again.

Ethan: whatever you say Mr. WANDLORD AHAHAHaH

John: Hey, knock it off! It's not even that funny.

Todd: i'm sorry- its just… it's too funny

They continue laughing, holding their sides until John covers both their mouths.

John: Laugh one more time and i'm shooting up the school

Ethan and Todd's eyes widen

Ethan: Y-you're joking right?

Todd: Haha funny man, you don't actually have a gun do ya?

John: Did I stutter?

Ethan: n-no sir

Todd: a little- no

John sighs

John: Anyway, I overheard the two of you discussing something. It seems you're arguing?

Todd: Oh yeah, this guy thinks we're living in a romcom.

Ethan: how many times do I need to say this, what type of person has purple hair and purple eyes? 

Todd: That doesn't mean you can just assume stuff like this

Ethan: Look at all the people like this too, maybe one or two but this is way too many.

Todd: It could just be a coincide-

John: no, we're definitely living in a romcom

Ethan starts smiling while todd's jaw stays agape

Ethan: See? Finally someone with sense

Todd stays speechless

John: The multicolored hair and clear stereotypes make it obvious.

Ethan hits Todd with his elbow: see?

Ethan: Oh yeah, we haven't introduced ourselves. 

Ethan shakes hands with john

Ethan: name's ethan marshall, *points to todd* this guy here is todd wayward, knew him since childhood.

Todd snapes out of his trance: yeah nice to meet you

John: same here, good to have another person

Ethan and todd looked confused

John: You must be confused… Let me elaborate. So we know we're in a romcom 

Ethan: yeah

Todd: whatever

John: The question is, what are we going to do about it?

Ethan: Well I was thinking of transferring…

John: NO! Think about it. We know this is a generic romcom, the tropes aren't subtle. Can't we use this knowledge to our advantage?

Ethan: You're on to something

John: I'm actually very knowledgeable in romcoms…

Ethan and todd: we can tell

John: What's that supposed to mean?

Ethan: *cough* you're a nerd *cough*

John: huh?

Ethan: nothing

John: anyway, us three guys can use this knowledge to abuse rom com tropes to our advantage and better our high school experience

Todd: How?

John: We can work that out later, but for now are you guys in?

Ethan: hmmm… yeah 100%. I don't want some lame slow burn romance for my freshman year.

Todd: Wait, you guys are crazy. No way am I going to hang out with two delusional guys. This guy doesn't even have a plan!

Ethan: I'm not stopping you, go ahead and make new friends.

Todd looks around the room.

Todd: nevermind, i'll stay with you guys

Ethan: social anxiety's an ass right?

Todd: you're just lucky I've known you since we were little

Ethan smirks: mmmhhmmmmm

Homeroom teacher: Alright guys, homerooms ending soon. Pack everything up and get ready for the first period.

John: We'll discuss this later at lunch, meet me in the secret stairwell.

Todd: secret stairwell?

John: ugh… *rolls eyes* the f r e a k y stairs.

Ethan and Todd's faces light up with realization.

Ethan: ohhhhh those stairs

Todd: love those stairs

John: anyway meet me at those stairs

Ethan: got it

John heads in another direction as Ethan and Todd walk together to their class. 

Todd: No way we're following him right?

Ethan: Why not? He seems to know what he's talking about and he can help us escape this boring romcom.

Todd: I still don't believe my freshman year is going to be based on a show genre. Also, he seems kinda crazy.

Ethan: Oh yeah didn't he threaten to shoo-

Ethan and todd look at each other:

Todd: we should probably go

Ethan: yeah that would be wise

Todd: I am NOT ending up on a t shirt

Cut to Todd and Ethan walking down the hallway.

Todd: Wait do you even know where the f r e a k y stairs are?

Ethan: I've heard it smells like uhh salty metal. 

Ethan sniffs a couple times and then a face of realization appears.

Ethan: We're here.

They arrive at a darkly lit stairwell. A creepy voice appears.

Creepy voice: So you have arrived…

Ethan and Todd both jump and look behind to see a hooded figure.

Todd: We don't want any drugs!

Ethan: I want to save my first time for a g- wait john?

The hooded figure puts down their hood and a curly haired guy with glasses reveals himself.

John: hey guys, sorry I just uh committed to the bit. 

Todd and Ethan at the same time: I thought you were a

Todd: drug dealer

Ethan: my unc- drug dealer yeah that came first… in my mind.

Both Todd and John raise their eyebrows.

Ethan: So you were saying?

John: Oh yeah, let's like head to the cafeteria, I wanna eat.

Todd: Wait, if you wanted to eat… why did we have to meet here?

John: I don't want to look for you guys. 

As he says that, couples start appearing. 

Random couple: woah you guys running trios?

Ethan: we should probably go before rumors start spreading…

John: good idea

Cut to Ethan, John, and Todd eating at a table. 

John: alright, first order of business…

Three random guys appear as he says that.

Guy #1: First order of business? Mafia boss ahh statement.

Guy #2: Bro thinks he's the godfather.

Guy #3: Walter white sounding ass

Todd: Where the hell did those guys come from?

John: *sigh* Anyway, we need a place where we can discuss our plans in private otherwise stuff like that might happen.

Todd: Wait plans for what?

Ethan: Plans to make our romcom lives better, come on man we discussed this! Keep up.

The three guys appear again.

Guy #1: Rom Coms? Are they 13 year old girls or somethin'?

Guy #2: What a bunch of sissies. 

Guy #3: s'what I'm saying. 

Todd: Seriously, who are those guys?

John: Ignore them. Listen, anyone have ideas on where we could meet up?

Ethan: How about we just meet during homeroom? 

Todd: I'm pretty sure we won't have enough time. We only got to talk because it's the first day.

John: Also, it's highly likely our homeroom is the class where all the side characters are.

Guy #1: Side characters? Bro thinks he's the main-

Todd: SHUT YOUR MOUTHS NOW!

The cafeteria turns silent and people start staring at them.

Guy #1: damn, alright

Guy #2: He's tripping

Guy #3: On something for real…

Todd: *hyperventilating* god, those guys are like a jack-in-the-box, randomly popping out

The cafeteria then starts talking again.

John: Yeah, let's not talk about it in school.

Ethan: How about my house? Todd knows the way. Where do you live, John?

John: uhhh… sesame street. 

Ethan and Todd simultaneously: Sesame street?! AHAHAHAHHA

John: It's a real street.

Ethan giggling like a school girl whips out his phone.

Ethan: Haha yeah, totally… holy- it's real?! And you live so far away…

Todd: Well that's crossed out, anyone else got ideas. 

Ethan, Todd, and John just sit there pondering. 

Ethan: welp, guess f r e a k y stairs it is…

Todd: I don't want to go to that place again, smelt like bad decisions and teenage hormones.

Ethan: Well we have to meet somewhere? Come on guys, we need ideas. It's not like a solution will-

A loud beep sound is heard throughout the school.

Announcer: Hello all students, this is your principal speaking. We are announcing that clubs will begin starting tomorrow. You need a minimum of three people and a sponsor to make one. Clubs will end 2 hours after school, so start meeting new people and have some fun! 

The beep sound plays again signifying the end of the announcements. 

John: How convenient….

Ethan: Sometimes, I love bad writing.

Todd: It's just a coincidence dude.

John: Well, we know what to do now. 

Ethan: All we need to do is make a club and then we can talk about this stuff for two hours.

Todd: But how are we going to do that?

John: My English teacher seems pretty chill. We can have her be the sponsor.

Ethan: I have two questions.

John: Hit me. 

Ethan: How chill is she on a scale of old lady librarian to gymbro?

John: hmmm, I'd say she's like a uhh that one cool uncle everyone has level of chill.

Todd: I had an uncle like that! He always wanted to play with me in his room and tickled me in weird places. Heh, It was funny

Ethan: I don't think that was the cool uncle… 

Todd: Wait… then…

Ethan: *whispers to john* I think it's best not to tell him. Uhh moving on to my second question. Is she bad?

John: Yep, hundred percent certified

Ethan: *pumps fist in air* Let's go!

Todd: You guys are so weird, she's a teacher

John: Her name was uhh, I think Ms. Clipton?

Todd: Wait, Ms. Clipton…? I mean, never heard of her

John and Ethan stare at Todd and start smirking.

Ethan: heh, we're the weird ones?

Todd: Shut up, anyway, so all we need to do is go to her tomorrow, and get her to be our sponsor, and we should be good, right?

John: *whispers to john* I bet he's really looking forward for that

Ethan and John begin giggling as Todd rolls his eyes.

Todd: You guys are so immature, so we just get her to be our sponsor? That's the plan right?

Ethan: Well yeah, but why are you saying it like that?

Todd: because lunch is ending in 30 seconds.

Ethan: Wait what? I didn't even finish my lunch. 

The school bell rings, signifying the end of lunch. 

Both Todd and John begin walking away with their lunchboxes. 

John: It's called lunch for a reason dude.

Ethan: Wait up! Ugh, my mom's gonna annihilate me.

Cut to Ethan walking down the road towards school.

Ethan (mind): Alright, it's time for another day in a generic highschool romcom. Ugh… hopefully with the help of the lord of wand and Todd I can escape this hell. Although, currently nothing tropey has happ-

Ethan suddenly bumps into a blonde girl, causing her bag to fall and some school supplies to fall out. He crouches down to help her.

Both the girl and Ethan stare at each other's eyes, making direct eye contact. Time seems to slow down as the wind causes the girl's wavy hair to begin fluttering. Closeup shot of her eyelashes going up and down as Ethan begins to blush. It then cuts to the girl's perspective as she stares at ethan. 

Girl (mind): This guy is so kind and helpful…

Ethan (mind): Why the hell does she have a textbook in this day and age?

Ethan: I am SO sorry…(that your parents wasted money on textbooks)

Girl: No worries! I'll be going now!

Ethan stands up and begins smiling as he looks in her direction seeing her walking away.

Ethan (mind): Maybe her family's rich or she's just dumb. EIther way I think I can probably swindle twenty bucks from her…

Cut to John walking to school. John begins shuddering.

John (mind): I sense… poor characterization.

Cut to Todd.

Todd (mind): I feel like Ethan's thinking of something scummy right now 

Cut to Ethan entering his homeroom.

Ethan (mind): That girl made me late, hopefully this guy isn't one of THOSE teachers.

Mr. Bradford: …And that will be all. So now everyone take your seats. Oh! You're late, just sit down in your seat, I don't really care about attendance.

Ethan (mind): Thank god he's chill, wait where do I sit? Hold on, we got assigned seats already? (a seating chart has been put up) And this is the same seat I sat at last time! This teacher rocks!

Ethan's spot is the same, next to a blonde girl and right behind Todd in a corner.

Ethan (mind): Wait, that girl looks familiar…

The girl notices Ethan staring at her and looks towards him and smiles. She clearly recognizes him from before, but then realizes he's looking at her with confusion and then begins to frown.

Girl (mind): This guy doesn't recognize me, does he?

Ethan (mind):She looks so alike.  Is it racist if I think all blondes look the same? 

Todd looks behind him only to see Ethan and the girl having a staring contest. 

Todd (mind): Oh, Ethan's her- What the hell is he doing.

The staring contest gets interrupted when the teacher begins talking.

Mr. Bradford: Alright everyone, homeroom has begun. Listen, I'm not one of those lame teachers from Ohio hehe (the whole class groaned when he said this), I'm a sigma male (more groaning). I'll just take attendance and leave you guys to hang out. My only rule is No Electronic Devices, if I see one I'm confiscating it until the end of the day, (the class begins mumbling) and yes I can do that. So you guys can talk or whatever and stand up and move around, just no devices. That's the end of my yapping session. (A final wave of groaning arrived as everyone moved around). John came up to Todd and Ethan.

John: Sup guys. 

Todd: What's good man.

Ethan: Ughhhhh

John: How come you're groaning? The teacher stopped speaking brain rot. 

Ethan: No it's just another romcom trope. 

Todd: not this again…

John: Ah, I see. It's the "nonchalant teacher" trope, found only in highschool romcoms.

Todd: what are you guys rambling on about now…

Ethan: Quit the attitude dude. Hey that rhymed, anyway basically it's when the teacher doesn't care about anything and the characters get to interact even during class. 

John: This also signifies that this class is the side character class, as I presume that we all have no other teachers like this?

Todd: Well yeah, so far most of my teachers kinda suck.

Ethan: Mine too, except there was this one woman with…

John: I'll cut you off there before this gets ecchi.

Todd: Ech what now?

Ethan: (whispers to Todd) freaky genre of shows. 

Todd: Oh, yeah uhh let's not talk about that in school. So what's the plan guys?

John: Okay, so first let's meet up at lunch..

Todd: NO FREAKY STAIRS

John: …whatever, once we find each other, all three of us will head over to my English teacher's room and ask her to be a sponsor for a club. I asked her this morning and she doesn't plan to sponsor anyone else. Luckily, you only need three people to start a club.

Ethan: Another point for lazy writing! 

Todd: Hmmmm, what if someone asks her first?

Ethan: actually, that's a good point

John: uhhhh… we're cooked then. Just, hope that doesn't happen I guess?

Todd: Yeah that's not gonna work. I'm not the type to just trust in "hope" I like to get stuff done. 

Ethan: and by stuff he means Ms. Clipton snicker

Todd punches ethan. 

Ethan: OW!

Todd: I have an idea, instead of eating lunch we just head straight over to her class. We can just eat lunch at home.

John: Good idea, I can probably just skip lunch today too.

Ethan: You should probably, you fatass

John: I'm LITERALLY skinnier than you.

Ethan: Mhm, keep saying that, won't make you lose 50 pounds

John raises up his fist, about to punch Ethan.

Todd: Alright, calm down guys. So then Ethan, you in?

Ethan: Dude, my mom was hella mad when I couldn't eat my lunch. If I do it again, she might uhhh ACTUALLY kill me.

Todd: That's fine, we'll just think of another solution…

Ethan strokes his chin: you know what, I'll do it.

John: But your mom-

Ethan: I'd rather risk death than live in a boring, generic romcom. 

John: Yeah… just because we can form strategies against tropes doesn't mean we can avoid them entirely.

Ethan: Still worth it, let's just do it.

Todd: I mean we have your consent now

Ethan: don't make it sound weird…

Cut to three boys, one with yellow hair, one with orange hair, and one with red hair. They were pretending to talk but were really just eavesdropping on the mc and co.

Yellow: So what were they saying?

Orange: They are also going after Ms. Clipton, and they plan to ditch lunch and head straight to her room. They also were talking about not wanting to live in a boring and generic romcom? I'm confused about that part.

Red: Hmmm… Ms. Clipton is one of the chillest teachers out there, we can easily just set up a club and hangout for two hours after school and get our own private room.

Yellow: Hehehe, we can do some crazy stuff there.

Orange: Get your head out the gutter, we'll just use it for video games and other non crazy stuff.

Yellow: awwww

Red: But if those guys get it…

Orange: They won't, I have a plan. Both of you guys distract them somehow when they head over, then I can just gain a lead and casually walk into her classroom first, yoink the sponsor for them and we'll be chilling!

Red: Dude, you're a genius!

Yellow: I could kiss you right now!

Orange: please don't, j-just don't even think about it

Yellow: yeah I know… it's just a joke 

Orange: Like that thought shouldn't have even come up

Yellow: Ok I get it

Orange: In fact, why- why were you even thinking that?

Yellow: I thought it would be fu-

Orange: It's not funny.

Yellow: Well, now I kn-

Orange: never has been, never will be. 

Yellow: Ok I won't do-

Orange: Never do that again-

Yellow: I GET IT

The whole class becomes quiet as everyone stares at them.

Red (mind): I wish I could just ski-

Cut to John searching for the other two guys in the cafeteria. He scurries around until he finally finds them.

John: Found you guys!

Ethan: Alright let's get a move on.

Todd: Make sure not to run, otherwise the adults get all fussy.

They begin speed walking at a brisk space out the cafeteria. They spot two guys, one with red and one with yellow hair. They try to walk past them but they call out.

Red: Hey! Where y'all going?

Ethan: Ohhh, just somewhere… in the school.

Todd (mind): Smooth talking bro

Red: where exactly?

John: Listen, we're in a hurry so just step off.

Yellow: Wait, I recognize these three… you guys got Mr Bradford for homeroom?

Todd: Yeah so what? Anyway we'll be heading out now.

Ethan: Oh, I saw you guys, what's with the hair?

Red: I got natural red hair, pretty cool right?

Ethan: Nah, you look like you got a wig on.

Red: What did you say?

Ethan and the guy with red hair begin arguing about hair, and Todd tries to keep walking but the yellow hair guy blocks him and tries to begin a conversation. John just stands and watches until he sees a guy in orange hair walk towards Ms. Cliptons room. 

John (mind): I swear I've seen him before… Wait, no way he had orange hair in highschool. It's not even ginger… that means he must be a side character in Mr Bradford's homeroom! Which means… 

John gasps

John: These guys are distracting us so they can get to her room!

Ethan and todd: huh?

Yellow: crap! They caught on!

John: Ignore these guys, just catch up with the orange haired dude!

Ethan: Got it, now shove it pal. 

Red: Hey where the hell are you going?

Ethan: outta here, now suck it!

Red (mind): Grrrr, I gotta think up of somethin' and quick. Wait, they were talking about romcoms, tropes, hold on! This guy must not like rom coms since he called them boring , and romcoms usually take place in highschool. This is highschool! So that must mean he thinks highschool is a romcom since he doesn't want to live in one. Wait, DO I live in a romcom? Actually, that doesn't matter, what matters is I need to rile him up. So, if he thinks he lives in a romcom, then that means he thinks he's the main character. Bro thinks he's the main character, that's it!

Red: bro thinks he's the main character.

Todd (mind): That's it? No way Ethan will get pissed from some lame statement like tha-

Ethan: What did you say punk?

Todd (mind): why do I get my expectations up… at least john will be a tough nut to crack. 

Yellow (mind): This Todd guy will just ignore me, he seems introverted too, I'll go after glasses then.

Yellow: Hey four eyes! Get your nerdy ass over here!

John (mind): You think your shallow insults affect me? I've been dealing with stuff like that since I was born. Do your worst you peasant!

Yellow: Hey loser, scrub, geek! Crap none of it is working, must be used to this… If he's a nerd, he'll get offended about nerd stuff. I don't want the other guys to know I'm into this kind of stuff, but… You know what screw it.

Todd (mind): Heh, john is used to this most likely, he's immune! We win!

Yellow: Yo! Goku solos saitama no diff. 

John stops in his tracks

Todd (mind): Damn.

John: Are you joking?! Matter of fact, it's been proven…

Todd (mind): How does someone like him know this nerdy stuff? They're way too good. Guess it's up to me now. 

Todd begins speed walking down the hallway to catch up with the orange haired dude. Meanwhile, the other two guys are getting into arguments.

Ethan: Look who's talking? What type of loser dyes his hair red in high school? Down to the roots too!

Red: It's not dyed! My mom has natural red hair, is it really that weird?

Ethan: Yes, tell me when was the last time you saw someone with red hair in public.

Red: … MAN SHUT YO BI-

Cut to john's argument

John: It's been shown time and time again that saitama's power scales on his opponent, and he has no physical limiter!

Yellow: Well Goku shook the void, he LITERALLY SHOOK NOTHINGNESS

John: That means diddly squat, in the recent chapters-

Yellow: GOKU SOLOOOOOS

Todd looks behind him only to see the four getting heated.

Todd (mind): Why are they so loud? This is what happens when I hang out with delusional people. 

Todd sees the orange haired guy and realizes the gap between them.

Todd (mind): At this rate I'll never catch up!

Todd looks around for teachers.

Todd (mind): Alright, time to step things up!

Todd begins to run down the hallway, easily catching up with the orange haired guy.

Todd: See ya sucker!

Orange: Hey! You can't ru- Whatever, all bets are off!

Orange haired dude begins running towards Todd as they both race towards her room.

John and Ethan notice the two running and realize what's going on.

Ethan: Huh? Oh right! Come on john let's go!

John: We'll settle this another you dimwit.

Ethan and John also begin speeding down the halls.

Red: Where y'all going? Ugh, come on man we can't let them get there first.

Yellow: got it!

Now all 6 boys are running down the halls.

Two janitors, one boy and one girl are just mopping the floors when one of them looks right only to see Todd and orange haired dude running down.

Janitor F: Hey, no running in the ha- 

The two ignore them and keep running.

Janitor F: I don't get paid enough for this…

Janitor M: Twenty bucks on the orange haired kid winning.

Janitor F: You're on.

Todd and Orange kid are neck in neck, cutting corners tight and running at maximum speed towards Ms. Clipton's room at the end of the hallway. Suddenly a girl appears as both boys go to a halt. They both begin calmly walking, trying to act cool as the girl walks by. When she finally goes past them, they both run. At first, Todd seems to be ahead until the Orange haired dude comes in and grabs his shirt collar, knocking him to the floor.

Orange: Street rules pal!

Todd: We're in a freaking school!

Orange hair makes it into her class first and closes the door. Todd overhears a little before it closes.

Orange: Hello Ms. Clipton! 

Ms. Clipton: Oh hello there! Ah I see a club, well then-

The door closes fully as Todd wallows in despair. 

Todd (mind): I- I failed. I'm a failure. I couldn't even beat some weird kid in a race. How can I look my friends in the ey- wait a minute. Why am I even doing this? For some dumb club, for my friends' even dumber delusions. What was I even stressing about? 

As Todd realizes the stupidity of the situation and starts laughing, the 4 boys make it. Panting and clearly winded, Ethan's the first to speak.

Ethan: So, hah, what- what happened. 

Todd shrugs: I lost, he got in first. 

John: Damn it, hah, even after all that…

Red: Hey, don't beat yourselves up. Y'all put up quite a fight, and I respect that.

Ethan: Yeah, that race was kinda fun. 

Todd: welp, you guys got it. Congrats, all we can do now is wait for the orange dude to come back with the news.

As everyone anticipates the orange kid's return, the two janitors appear from a corner.

Janitor M: Welp, looks like I won

Janitor F: grumbles I didn't even want to bet in the first place, stupid game…

The female janitor reluctantly hands over the twenty as the male janitor gloats.

Janitor M sniffs the bill: Ahhh, the sweet smell of victory. Hey, you want to grab some food after work?

Janitor F: As if I'd hangout with a loser like you! 

She punches his arm lightly as the male janitor chuckles.

Janitor M: Hehe, it's just a joke Sharon, I have a girlfriend anyway. 

Janitor F begins blushing and looks away: … I knew that, you and your dumb little girlfriend. I hope you two… maintain a loving relationship together.

Janitor M: Awww, so the bear DOES have a good side. 

Janitor F: You're dead Michael!

Cut back to the five boys chilling next to her room. They watch eagerly, when suddenly it opens, the orange haired kid comes out, and then it closes again. His face is frowning and he has poor posture and a very negative vibe.

Red: Dude, uhh did it work out?

Orange solemnly shakes his head slowly.

Yellow: What happened?

Orange: Alright, I'll just explain it from the beginning…

Flashback sequence!

Orange panting, enters her room.

Orange: Hello Ms. Clipton! 

Ms. Clipton: Oh hello there! Ah I see a club, well then what's the club all about?

Orange (mind): Crap! I worried so much about getting here I forgot to think about what to do if I won. If I say the wrong thing, she may just say no… Should I lie, or tell the truth? Well, as they say honesty is the best policy and lying doesn't get you anywhere, so I'll just be honest!

Orange: A video game club?

Ms. Clipton: Huh, a video game club… what would you do in said club.

Orange: well… uh… I would bring some friends over, or anyone if they want to join, also bring some consoles and just hang out and play games and uhh… have fun! We can use club funds to host events and other… stuff.

Ms. Clipton: So, let me get this straight. You want me to sponsor a club about video games just so you can waste the school's valuable resources on worthless pieces of media meant to kill time? 

Orange begins getting nervous, he starts sweating and fidgeting.

Ms. Clipton: You really expect me to not only approve, but help you on such unproductive and useless endeavors? I know you probably had the assumption I would do such heinous acts since I am lax as a teacher, but I'll save us both time by saying this. No. I will not do such a thing, nor will any other teacher in this institute. Now, go ahead and eat lunch, it will be over soon.

Orange: y-yes ma'am

Cut back to present.

Orange: so… that was the gist of it.

Everyone in the group was silent, pondering on Orange's story. 

Orange: We have failed in our task, but you three (points to Ethan, john, and todd) still have a chance. I wish you the best of luck (salutes).

Ethan: Thanks man, see you around.

They wave off to the fallen soldiers, as they slowly walk back towards the cafeteria. 

Janitor F: What happened to those two?

Janitor M: I know that look… rejection.

Janitor F: Must be a common occurrence for you, haha.

Janitor M: Not really… only happened once. I asked my dentist out before.

Janitor F: uh- eh- ah- I'm speechless.

Janitor M: She kept rambling ON and ON how she has a wife and kids. Even though I was 12 at the time, she didn't need to be THAT harsh!

Janitor F pats him on the back: It's okay man, you'll get em next time.

John: Hmmm… so turns out she isn't just a free sponsor.

Ethan: Awww, now we have to THINK

Todd: Do we just call it off?

John: We can't, we're in too deep

Ethan: ahem that's what sh-

Todd: Let's just get it over with, we'll just pretend to be an actual club to get the sponsor.

John: I was thinking we could do a literature club, she's an english teacher and it'll be too boring so no one else will join.

Ethan: Alright then, let's just go in. Come on guys.

The three of them enter her room.

Ms. Clipton: sigh I told you I wouldn't- Oh, hello boys

Ethan: Hi Ms. Clipton. Damn, she's smoking. I don't even blame todd.

John: Let's cut right to the chase, we were looking for a club sponsor.

Ms. Clipton: Not this again, just tell me what this club is for…

John: We are planning to create a literature club.

Ms. Clipton: hmm? A literature club?! Oh, yes of course I would gladly sponsor such a club. 

Ethan (mind): Yes, she fell for me- i mean it! 

Ms. Clipton: So… what activities are you going to do in the club?

Ethan, John, and Todd altogether: We're cooked

John and Ethan respond at the same time while Todd remains stunned.

John: We uhh haven't thought that far ahead.

Ethan: We were planning on doing book reports and stuff…

John (mind): Is this guy stupid? Why didn't he say we didn't plan ahead?

Ethan (mind): What is wrong with him? It's a literature club, what do you think we'll do?

Ms. Clipton smiles smugly as they both contradict each other.

Ethan (mind): Uh oh, she's smiling, she's going to go on another tirade and roast us to ash!

Ms. Clipton: So you really thought-

Suddenly, Todd snaps out of his trance and blurts something out.

Todd: A ROMCOM RESEARCH CLUB!

Everyone gets taken aback from the sudden gesture.

Todd: Uhh… yeah, sorry for trying to deceive you, but in actuality we were thinking of doing a club about researching pieces of media in the romance comedy genre.

Ms. Clipton is shocked, her mouth agape.

Todd: We would watch or read romcoms, then find common similarities, compare them, and maybe even produce our own romcom. 

Ethan (mind): Why did he say that?! Now she'll think we're weird!

John (mind): Ughhh, it sounds so cringe when he says it. Probably because it is kinda cringe though…

Ms. Clipton begins smiling (non smugly): You know, every year groups of students come up to me in hopes of creating a useless and non-productive club, but there is also one group that comes in and introduces a unique club idea that I just can't resist. I'm in.

John, Ethan, and Todd celebrate (in their minds), in reality they start smiling and thanking the teacher.

John (mind): LETS GOOOOOOOOO, THANK YOU TODD

Ethan (mind): TODD'S THE GOAT

Todd (mind): Man this teacher's hot…

Ms. Clipton: You boys aren't the first group to do a "literature" club, you do realize that every club has to participate in the end of year club expo right?

Todd: What now?

Ms. Clipton: chuckles you see, at the end of the year, every club has to do a presentation in front of the entire school and show off their club's accomplishments and put on a show. So, if I went along with the literature club idea… it wouldn't end well, would it?

Ethan, John, and Todd (mind): She's a saint!

The boys then leave the room to let Ms. Clipton notify the student council and fill in the paperwork. 

Ethan: Bye Ms. Clipton!

John: I thought she was secretly evil or something.

Todd: I knew she was good on the inside.

John and Ethan (mind): Simp.

Ethan: You guys do know that we're going to have to participate in the expo right?

Todd: Who cares? We'll just procrastinate and do something last minute.

John raises his hands in the air: Don't worry my friends, because this marks the beginning of a new adventure!

Everyone who heard that: Corny ahh kid.

End of episode 1