Irrelevant Chapter, pure crack pt.2

Michael slowly peeked out of the portal and looked around. After the last jump through the universes, he decided to be much more careful in his choices, all in order not to get stuck in the next world of friendship.

Luckily, there were no talking ponies or rainbows around this time, so he stepped out of the portal and continued to look around. Ty Lee and Toph jumped out of the portal behind him, but were in no hurry to move away from him. They had no idea where they are, so any step could be the last.

"Sooo... Where are we this time?" Toph broke the silence.

Michael took a compass out of his pocket and opened it, it confidently pointed north and Michael was able to breathe a sigh of relief. "We're somewhere where the north pole exists, that's good. Yeah, that's good."

Toph had already begun to scan the area with her seismic sense while Ty Lee just looked around. Michael had a bad feeling again, but he couldn't figure out why. This often happened to him and he would rather that this feeling disappear.

"Hey, I can feel a... Building? Castle? Campus? Yea, that's the word. There's a campus full of people deeper in the forest. But they all fell weird." Toph frowned and moved her foot forward. "Like someone is trying to hide this campus from all the senses, but it's still here. Maybe it's one of those worlds with Wizards?"

Michael looked in the direction Toph was pointing and frowned. "It's too warm for Scotland, and there aren't many mountains, so we're definitely not at Hogwarts. It's too nice woods for France, and for Bulgaria... Well, it's too bright here. We might be in America, but I doubt-" He was interrupted by a groan from Toph, who turned to the right.

"Oi, people just appeared out of thin air."

"Not again..."

The three turned to the place where the intruders had appeared - although in this universe they were more likely to be intruders - and took up defensive positions. Michael took out his knives and handed one to Ty Lee.

Four people appeared from a bright yellow portal and looked around in amazement. There were three girls and one man, but the problem was that Michael immediately recognized them.

"So, this is the realm of Magix." Said a woman in her forties with dark hair. She stood with a smile near the red-haired girl who was holding back, trying not to jump in joy.

"Wow! This is like nothing I've ever seen." The blond man looked at something behind the trees with wide eyes. Next to him stood a girl with sun-colored hair, holding a staff.

"That must be your school over there, you excited?" The black-haired girl asked the redhead, who nodded happily.

"You bet I am."

Michael sheathed his knife and slowly sat down on the ground. "You know, I have no idea why I keep trying. It's not even funny anymore." He put his head in his hands and barely restrained himself from crying.

At that moment, everyone turned in his direction and he felt both Bloom and Stella looking at him with interest.

"Michael? What kind of world is this?" Ty Lee asked, completely ignoring the family at the side who had begun to eavesdrop on their conversation.

He let out a long breath and began to speak. "It's a world full of teenage drama, a fucking incomprehensible Magic system that makes no sense, fairies, wizards and idiots who, instead of killing Villains, throw them into their equivalent of a cryochamber."

"Hey!" Stella's offended voice sounded. "I don't know what planet you're from, but the imprisonment of criminals is the law!"

Michael looked up and looked at Stella like she was an idiot. "Of course, but why throw them into an ice planet where they have even the slightest chance of escaping? It feels like the whole world is just asking to be destroyed. Girls, we're leaving, I'll prefer Hell to this place."

Ty Lee and Toph looked at him with a frown. "Is everything really so bad?" Ty Lee asked. "I think you're biased this time."

Michael threw his hands into the air. "Of course I'm biased! But the only people with a modicum of logic let teenagers do their dirty work for them under the guise of learning, and when shit hits the fan because of the idiotic decisions of teenagers, everyone suffers! It's a world full of idiots and munchkins that has no sense!"

He turned to Bloom and pointed his finger in her direction. "If none of you kill Valtor at the first opportunity, then the blood of the innocent will be on your hands. The same goes for the Trix."

Ty Lee put her hand on his shoulder. "Calm down. I don't understand what your problem is, in the past world there were talking ponies who lived in friendship. I know that we would die of boredom there, but what's the problem now?"

Mike cautiously approached the three people standing at the portal. "Hey, are you all right? This magic is new to us, so we don't know..." He lost his line of thought as Michael took the knife from Ty Lee and started drawing on the ground. Vanessa, Bloom and Stella also came closer and started to watch Michael begin to draw.

"Look, in this world, magic can technically do anything, right?" He drew an infinity symbol on the ground and drew several circles around it. "Magic exists everywhere, so it would make sense that it could reach the solar system." He jabbed his knife at one of the circles.

"And?" Toph asked.

"She-" he poked the knife in Bloom's direction. "-lived on Earth almost all her life, and she has magic. But until recently, she did not even know that she was a fairy. Also, no one from the magical community could find her before, presumably because there were no fairies left on Earth. But a completely chance meeting helped her get here. Following me so far?"

Everyone nodded at his words and Michael continued. "So why is it that even if there are no fairies left on Earth, no one has set up magic sensors to find new fairies? Ignoring that, someone could go and conquer Earth with magic and no one will notice just because no one is watching. Hell, they missed the appearance of the Princess of the planet Domino just because no one thought of it."

Bloom looked at Michael in confusion, and then at Stella. "What is the Domino plant?"

"Your home planet, now shut up." Michael interrupted before anyone could speak. He completely ignored the shock of the four people to whom this was very important information. "Magic is strong here, and people who use it too, but everyone is a complete idiot. I refuse to even talk about that. I won't even say that no one uses firearms, but only energy or melee weapons. A simple large-caliber bullet can kill so many monsters that I'm too lazy to count them. And what do they use? Slow pistols, the shots of which can be deflected by hand." He stopped for a second. "Okay, they're more efficient than that, but you get my point."

Toph nodded and turned to the portal. "Well, if it's that bad, I'll believe you. We'll probably get arrested after the first murder anyway, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life in prison."

Ty Lee put her arms around Michael's shoulders and lifted him to his feet. The guy kept muttering about wasted potential and constant transformations that make as much sense as flying whales. Bloom, Stella, Vanessa and Mike just stared at their backs in shock, and only when the portal disappeared were they able to speak.

"First murder...?" Mike muttered.

"Firearms?" Stella was confused.

"Conquer the Earth?" Vanessa asked in horror.

"I'm the Princess of Domino...?" Bloom asked in a small voice.

After this little conversation the world of the Winx has never been the same.