I called it

My boyfriend left me cause I'm a horrible person who verbally abuses him when mad or sad...

I hate my self more for hurting him than I did for just existing ...

I wish I wasn't alive RN I feel so horrible I don't even know why I thought what I did was ok...

I regret everything I love him with all my heart but I fucked up beyond repair...

I don't deserve happiness or love with the way I treat people I never will...

I'm surprised I haven't ended it yet but maybe it's cause I still have hope hell give me another chance even tho we all no he won't...

I wish out of everything in life if I could change one thing it would be my whole though proses or brain or whatever would fix me so I could just be normal...

But I cant so here i am suffering yet again from my own mistakes