19

How much did they know about her children? Was she going to die knowing everything? Would she have the chance to tell them everything that had happened before they died? Why weren't there any answers?

There had to be some kind of explanation for all these questions. For all the pain, anguish, anger, guilt, sadness and sadness, she still couldn't accept the fact that her kids were dead. How could she? They had just been little toddlers back then. A few months old. She remembered them. She could see every little detail about each of her babies now. The color of their skin. Their tiny toes, pink and curled, poking out of their pajamas or socks. They had been so sweet and innocent then. They hadn't been afraid of being alone in their rooms. They'd been happy and healthy. She had adored them with all her heart. And now, they were gone. Forever. Just like the rest of them. The only difference now was that Joohanna was completely alone in this world. She had no clue who she could turn to for comfort anymore.

Joohanna was brought out of her thoughts by a loud gasp coming from the young woman standing next to her. In order to avoid upsetting her any further, Joohanna said nothing and only gave her a gentle nod.

For the first week since Joohanna had come into power, she had spent most of her time in silence. Since the arrival of her new ministers and advisers, Queen Joohanna had spent most of her time sleeping. The first few days had been very difficult for Joohanna and she had spent all of her time praying to God silently for guidance and strength. She couldn't think of anything else but praying. She wasn't even aware how exhausted she had become until she finally fell asleep and woke up with a pounding headache and a sore throat. When she woke up, she found herself lying face down in her bed.

A servant had come in during the early hours of the morning to wake her. He had told her that she was requested to appear in court and he had escorted her out of her room. On her way, she passed a number of servants carrying large trays filled with food. When she saw that, her eyes shone with joy. She quickly ran after the servants and followed them to court. But she was stopped by someone and asked not to follow them any farther because they would inform the King of her arrival.

Afterwards, Joohanna waited patiently in the garden. It seemed to take forever to wait for him. Eventually, he appeared. As soon as Joohanna caught sight of the man who had once made her forget about everything, she burst into tears. He came towards her immediately and pulled her into his arms. Without saying a word, Joohanna buried her face in his chest while he rocked her back and forth gently.

"I'm sorry I haven't written you back," she sobbed. "My head... my head hurts."

He nodded knowingly. "It'll pass soon, darling."

At least, that's what he told her. And she believed him. He always claimed to her that her headaches would eventually go away. Whenever she heard him say something like this, she immediately put a lot of effort in pretending she was feeling well again and convincing him that she'd be able to handle any situation in which her health would inevitably fail.

They didn't talk much after that. They simply held onto each other and cried softly together in his arms, not caring who might've witnessed them or whether anybody was watching, listening, laughing or judging them at the moment. They remained like that for hours, until the sun began its descent behind the horizon. Then, they went inside.

Joohanna stayed in the same bed she usually slept in every night, wrapped in one of the blankets. Her husband stood beside her, holding her hand. His eyes sparkled brightly with love as he looked lovingly down at her. But despite this