The Bearded One Vs Minus A Bunch Of Screws Wonder Boy

Well, shit! I had a great life ahead of me. I would see that my IQ was off the charts when I did those IQ tests in Instagrm and then my life would change. I would get a Nobel for proving that Googel was a simp and would be acclaimed hero by the masses. I would have some children which I would called them Yor A. Weixt and Feild A. Bortion.

Well, enough of dreaming about things that won't ever happen (a very manly tear drop from his imaginary eyes), let's get back to the present. Which is when? When is where? Fuck, I don't fucking know where, when and how did I come to this black room.

Yes, that's right I'm in dark room but with a catch. In this room besides a chair and a mirror there was one of those hair salons TV where it would be on rewind old ass songs from the 70. And to my despair I was push down on a chair while a grandpa was touching my fume head.

Rewinding a bit, when I came to myself after that heroic death I was already here. Surprised by the unexpected sight the first thing I did was obvious... I stared furiously at the black ceiling and shouted, "I could've died better... GM I demand a retry!"

And like my rant was heard, a white ball descended from the ceiling and stopped in front of me.

Expecting a grand entrance, I was reading myself for the usual talk but after a few minutes the white ball continue to stand there only moving when I move.

As time passed I began to lose my patience and oh boy was that easy. I stared at the ball in hopes that some kind of biblical or godly effect happened but it seemed that the fucking ball was just standing there. "CRACK"

You all heard that didn't you? Well, that was my patient and my pacifistic resolve. With my fume fist I pummeled the white ball only to pass through it like a piece of water. Sincerely it was disgusting, think of it like a similar experience of when the most famous ghost catchers from TV (for obvious reasons I won't say the official title, but tan*tan*tan*pprp*tan*tan*pprp*tan*tan*pprappprap*G*ostB*sters... Excuse me for my pathetic attempt of replicating the sound but for those that didn't hear the music you are the damaged ones).

After a fight that will branded in the fabric of space for all eternity for its stupidity and grossness, Crete eventually stopped as for no matter how awesome and outrageous he was he would at least let his archenemy, the light ball, have a rest so that they could return to the fight that was destined to them since the beginning of times. Catching his breath, Crete began to roll up his fume sleeves once again, but before he could deliver the first punch and disturbing sound was heard throughout all of the room, "Cough... Can you please stop that? You are simply making me regret bringing you here."

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the ball morph into a bearded old man and that made feel relieved. Seeing the look of relief on the crazy boy's face The Bearded One though, 'That's right, you basket-case!' and said "Listen here, I'm the god that is in cha....".

But before The Bearded One could finish what he was about to say a fist made of mist connect with his face, passing through it without leaving any damage. He stared blankly at boy who was muttering with a look of discontentment, perhaps because the punch didn't connect?

Crete looked at his fist and began to reminisce at all the times that his fist was there for him. 'You were there when I was still in the tummy of my god-forsaken mother...'

Meanwhile, in the other world a smiling beautiful lady that was bathing near a beach felt a shiver down her spine, "Brrr... What was this? Better be not that fucking retarded reminiscing about his fist once again?"

Back to the inner monologue of our MC, '... and never left my sight. You were there when my god-forsaken mother...'

"STOP IT!", the beautiful woman shouted making all the souls in that beach look at her think, 'Why wasn't this traumatized soul in the Soul-Healing Center?'

'... bitch-slapped my teacher for trying to flirt with me. You were there when I felt in the temptation of the so called teacher. You were there when I became famous because me and my lover, the teacher, were caught having sex on top of a piano in the auditorium. You were there when I became a famous movie star because of the so called 'sexual prowess of the young Crete'. You were there when I named my boy Han Solo.'

And right when he said that, his fist opened like a puppet and said with a very sexy and delusional voice, "Wasn't that the plot of the movie 'That's My Boy!' staring Adam Sandler...?"

Crete stared blankly at his beloved fist, while it began to transform into a tomboy, tsundere and sexy but delusional fist-chan and muttered, "You never let me, have fun. If only you were like Lefty."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY! LEFTY! That Bitch!"

Out of nowhere like a movie without a concrete plot or any kind of narrative, his left hand transformed into a mature but sexy fist-sensei, "At least he knows what he likes! It certainly isn't that rough skin filled with scars and wounds!"

Lightning appeared in front of Fist-chan and Fist-sensei. It seemed that a storm was about to take place there.