Ch 1

Some guy Jimmy died a very average death on Earth, he was aged 18. Jimmy died while he was riding a motorcycle on the busy roads of Cali. He tried to drift at the intersection, and collided against the traffic post, resulting in lacerations across his body. He eventually bled out.

Jimmy: Shiiiiiiit! I done fucked up! Wait I ain't dead?

God: Na u dead bro.

Jimmy: Great, who the fuck are you?

God: God. Alright lets speed up this conversation, the readers are getting bored, which world do you want to be transported to?

Jimmy: Uh I guess Harry Potter, I know this world like the back of my hand.

God: Yeah we'll see. Now fuck off!

With that Jimmy was suddenly reincarnated into the Harry Potter World into the body of a boy named Jimmy Butler (author: basketball player ik, one of my favourites, go MIAMI HEAT!!!)

Jimmy Butler was 9 years old, and his parents were muggles. Jimmy's family lived in London and the time period was the same as Harry Potter's, whatever the fuck it was. Just as Jimmy was reincarnated, in came flying a letter into Jimmy's house.

Jimmy's dad: Holy crap! That owl just delivered a letter!

Jimmy acted as if he was unaware of what the letter entailed.

Jimmy: Lets take a look dad.

Jimmy's dad took the letter and read it aloud, and with each sentence, his and Jimmy's mother's expression visibly contorted.

Jimmy: (Lets go Hogwarts! Imma fuck up HP universe!)

Jimmy: Seems like I gotta go to this magic school, right dad?

Jimmy's dad: Yeah I think so.

Time skip to Diagon Alley

Jimmy: Fucking hell!

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy where did you learn such language! You're getting more and more out of hand, last week those dirty mags, and now this debauchery!

Jimmy's dad: Now now, he's a precocious child. It may not be a bad thing. Alright lets go to this Gringotts bank or whatever.

Jimmy and his fam were awestruck by the interior of Gringotts, it was the most over-the-top decor they had ever experienced.

Jimmy's family set up his bank account, a simple 500 galleons, to start with. Fortunately his books and tuition were paid for.

Jimmy: (My family's is middle class. I should probably boost my finances with some investing lol! I have OP knowledge after all, should make use of it.)

Jimmy and his family then did his shopping and Jimmy finally got to Ollivander's, the only place he had real interest in. The other places had good stuff too, but you needed money to be able to even see those exclusive artifacts.

Ollivander: Oh hello there young sir, what is your name?

Jimmy: Jimmy Buckets, I mean Jimmy Butler sir.

Ollivander: Mr. and Ms. Butler, may I request you the leave the store for the time being, the wand-selection process is one that needs some privacy.

Jimmy's dad: Sure thing, lets go hon.

Jimmy: Alright lets get this show on the road!

Ollivander: Haha! I like your spirit Mr. Butler.

After trying out a bunch of wands, Jimmy chose a pretty ordinary looking apple wood wand with a thestral tail hair core.

Jimmy (I feel a strong resonance with this wand. Pretty cool, lets give it a go.)

Ollivander deep in thought: A very interesting combination. A very interesting combination indeed! Never thought such a volatile wand could make such a rapid connection. High aims and ideals I see from the apple wood and thestral hair! The elder wand is one such wand with a thestral hair, this wand is made for strong light magic.

Jimmy: Nice! How much bro?

Ollivander coughing: Mr. Butler, with all due respect, I am not your bro. The amount will come out to 14 galleons.

Jimmy: Mate I heard wands generally cost 7.

Ollivander: Well this is a special wand, so double.

Jimmy: (I know he's capping. He must be butt-hurt from me calling him bro.)

Jimmy: Alright here you go bro.

Ollivander in frustration: As I said-

But Ollivander was not able to complete his sentence, as Jimmy ran out of the shop.