Chapter 35

Jade was taken slightly aback at the fact that Noel had stopped him from going further. He was able to read the emotions on Noel's face like an open book and knew that he had feelings for him. It was obvious to him from the beginning how the barkeep had gone from scared of him to being utterly crazy about him to the point he blushes at every little thing. It had never came to mind that Noel would refuse him and he was not sure what was wrong in the least.

"Jade, do you even know why your doing this?" Noel forced out the one question that pained him to ask because he was afraid of the answer.

"Because I wa-" Jade went to answer but before he could finish he found himself being cut off in the middle of his response.

"Because you want to?" Noel sighed heavily when he knew what the answer was going to be. He did not want to get closer to Jade in this way. After realizing that Jade was doing it all on a whim because he simply felt like he wanted to there was no way Noel could let him continue. Until Jade was willing to admit to his feelings there was no way that he would be comfortable going further in any way with him.

"Don't you want to as well?" Jade asked as he leaned his head forehead until his forehead was resting against Noel's shoulder. Something about the way that he was acting felt as though he was a child pouting because he was told no.

"Not like this, Jade." He scolded.

Softly his fingertips tickled their way against Noel's skin until his fingertips were lightly slipped under the back of Noel's pants. Noel's face flushed deep red as he shoved Jade away from himself. It was obvious to him that the man did not understand a thing he was trying to tell him. If he wanted to stand a chance against his advances he was going to keep to part from him a bit because the very touch of Jade's was enough to send shocks to his heart.

"Than like what?" Jade's gaze felt enticing as if he was inviting Noel to get closer until there was nothing left of him. It was like falling into quick sand to stare into that pair of green jades.

"Unless you feel the same way that I do I don't want you." Noel stated out bluntly. He felt like a school girl by the words he was speaking but if he wanted Jade to understand he felt like he had to be blunt with him.

Jade knew what Noel meant by those words. Everything about it was obvious to him that he was hoping Jade would say he had feelings for him. It was not something Jade was willing to admit to himself let alone Noel. If he admitted to falling in love with Noel he would be admitting everything to himself that he did not want. He never wanted to live a life with someone else when he was given this second life. It was like Noel had came into his life and destroyed every wall he had worked to build up around himself. After a while he could see Noel climbing up out of the water as he stood there in the water without stopping him.

"Sometimes.. you can be a cruel man." Noel muttered under his breath as he picked up his shirt from the grass and walked off to go find Capricorn. If he stayed behind with Jade any longer he felt like he would begin to fall apart.

After Noel started walking away Jade slowly raised his hands from the water. Gazing down at them he felt as though he could still feel the sensation of Noel's skin against his fingertips. A pain in his chest caused his enter body to quiver until he let his body lean against the ground where he had Noel pressed up against just moments ago. Every fiber of his being wanted to understand what it was he was feelings inside. His desire to monopolize Noel and make him his felt like it was tearing down everything about himself that he had worked so hard for.

Quickly climbing out of the water and putting on his pants he found his steps chasing after Noel before he could get far.

"If I'm cruel what does that make you?" Jade blurted out as he grabbed Noel by his wrist firmly and held him there.

"What are you talking about?" Noel asked as the ache in his chest tightened. He was not sure why the man would go so far as to call him cruel when all he had ever done was help take care of him.

"If I'm cruel then what does that make you?" Jade repeated before pushing Noel to the ground. His body hovering above Noel as there was a slight quiver in his eyes. Gazing down at that pair of blue eyes that sucked him in every time he saw them as he continued to blurt out the words as they came without thinking. "I was fine with everything about myself and how I lived, but ever since you forced your way into my life it's like I can't control myself. Every time I'm around you it's like the world fades away and I become intoxicated by you. I don't know what this is but I just know that I cant bear to lose you from my life. A life without you in it just isn't worth living for me anymore. I don't know if what I feel is love or if I simply want to monopolize everything about you.. Am I crazy? Maybe I am. But don't call me the cruel one.. Because you're the one who came in and destroyed everything I had worked so hard for.. but maybe I truly am crazy because I don't even care at this point as long as it means nothing happens to you."

Noel's face flushed red at the words being spoke just inches from his face. A slight tinge of pain and heartache could be seen behind that pair of green eyes as they gazed down at him as if waiting for a response. Taking a moment to think, however, Noel could not think of the words to respond back because he had been taken by surprise. The man had clearly just confessed to him while admitting at the same time that he had no idea if it meant he loved him. After hearing Jade admit to him that he could not bear to live without him though it felt like it was enough for now. His jaw quivered slightly for a moment as he felt the sudden urge to cry from the pure joy of knowing the man he loved could not bear to live without him. A single tear began to escape his eye as those words repeated in the back of his mind.