Suffocating life

(Trigger warning for depression and trauma.)

The ban had left lots of foreigners in limbo waiting to enter Japan. Sung, who was in online class also suffers a suffocating life while trying to hang on to his dreams and hope to one day lands in Japan. Even if Japan put out this nonsense measures, Sung still had the passion to went to Japan. And this passion itself would slowly destroys Sung mental health.

During Sung online class, his heart felt really suffocated as if someone was squeezing Sung heart fully. All of his pent up frustration and pain were being bottled in the heart as he felt like if he let it all out he would felt weak. Also his parents would laugh at him and told him that he wouldn't be able to handle real life problem that would be difficult to solves.

With Sung heart suffocating, he decided to just bottle his feelings so that he could show to his parents and his friends that he could overcome this challenge. This in turn slowly making him insane and causing more stress than ever with all the things going on in his life.

Day by day passes by and slowly all the good memories Sung had about Japan slowly turning into pain and trauma. He also was thinking on whether the choices he had made were the right decisions or not. Those trauma would later haunts Sung for the rest of the time of the ban.

One day, he decided to ask one of his online classmate whether it would be okay for a man to cry since it might made him looks weak. His online classmate replied by saying it was a stupid idea that a man shouldn't cry. His classmate also said that if Sung mental health wasn't healthy and he needs to let all his feelings and his classmate even said that it was normal for someone to cry if they needed to.

Sung after hearing the opinion of his classmate, then decided to ask the community on how to deal with his mental health issues. He told the community that he was feeling suffocated. He felt so depressed that he wants to cry but couldn't. He felt pain in his chest and he couldn't even concentrates to the classes being taught. He felt like the words being eaten up by him. He felt like he wasted his time on nothing. He felt speechless. He felt like no one would ever cared about him. He felt lonely and stressed. He felt jealous.

All the feeling being mixed up made Sung more depressed than ever. What he only wants now would be a friends or someone to hugs him and comfort him. He wanted someone to be besides him other than his parents who could just be by his sides saving him from hell.

But for now, he just try to bottle all the feelings he had now just for him not to be broken down. Even though he knew slowly that he was breaking down mentally and physically, he still would try to did everything with his power to hold on and not falter.