Day 8

The immediate urgency to refuse what I had just heard, just welled up inside of me, wanted to shout that at the top of my lungs and confirm afterwards that everybody got it loud and clear.

Do not teach your children to smile back at everyone that smile for/at them. It's maybe cute and all at the beginning of their lives as small carbon dioxide producers with no value at all to the society, but it does affect them when they are inseparably a part of the money mongering society.

Your way of making me realise what I wanted was not mine to have was very explicit but made me want you even more, is it wrong of me? I don't know. Vacillating between every choice -

"𝙃𝙚𝙮, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙣𝙤 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩"

We believe everything on their face value and cry when we get it wrong, you fool, it was made to manipulate your stupid stubborn little brain from the idea stage of its production.

You ever see a hurt man? A man who doesn't need to cry for you to know he's been cut deeply and is bleeding still?

"𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚"

My sadness does not reside in the shadows the sun creates of me, it resides in the shadows I create within myself, the places I'm too scared to look into, for there are too many lies buried in there, and scary truths even more. I can't face them, can't banish them, accept them even less. They stare back, " it's all your doing, take responsibility for your mess".

"𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙮𝙨𝙨, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙮𝙨𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪"

well I still do like to stare into the darkness, it makes me feel the depth of things I know nothing about. it's just that the eyes that this"abyss" person was born with are very scary. I don't actually like it when you look back. much less stare.

The world doesn't collapses when it does for you, it's not that you didn't matter, but ofcourse you didn't, to the world atleast.

Losing in a race for something almost too pointless or extremely worthwhile. You didn't gain anything at the end, lost something for sure, a part of you winning conscience maybe, but....

𝙒𝙝𝙮, 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙪𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢?

"𝙍𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧"

A unruly, very disordered entry today, feast your eyes upon it. Some references from Nietzsche.

-sidhant