Chapter 39 Already Found Her

I didn't know how long I had been staring out the window but I couldn't do anything to pull myself back into reality.

My mind was spinning as I stared at the starry night sky. My thoughts were racing with questions about Wes and Summer, whether they hit it off, if he liked her, if he'll ask her out.

I hated thinking about it but nothing I did to distract myself was working.

I was in pure agony. It was torture. It was hell.

I want to say I'm overreacting but honestly, feelings hurt and feelings suck.

It just hurts to know that he doesn't see me the way I see him. It hurts that I can't have him. It hurts that I'm going to eventually see him be with someone else.

I wish I could forget all about these stupid feelings I have for Wes but unfortunately, you cannot pick and chose who you fall for or when.

I felt pathetic and lousy and like a sad, bummy little shit, more than I ever had before.

"Heartbreak and love - total bitch, I know," Michelle tried to keep her tone teasing, to lighten the mood. "But please do not go catatonic."

I heaved out a deep breath before turning to look at her. "I will allow myself to wallow in self pity and misery for the rest of the night. Tomorrow night we will get drunk out of our sane minds."

Michelle beamed a smile as she eagerly nodded her head. "I can support that plan. But seriously, are you okay?"

I shrugged, looking down at my hands. "I just feel really sad, Elle. I don't want to be but I just am. It's silly, I'll get over it."

Michelle squeezed my shoulder softly. "I know you will. But hey, you're doing a lot better than I was when Connor Reid asked Tracy to prom instead of me."

I couldn't help but laugh, the memory replaying in my mind. "That was The Notebook type of heartbreak you went through."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "And looking back at it, it was silly. In the moment it feels like the world is ending but when you finally get over it and look back at it, it's just another event that matures you."

I smiled softly. "We really have grown up, haven't we?"

Michelle grinned, nodding her head slowly. "Totally. We're no longer fifteen and pining over the football captain and quarterback." Michelle paused for a moment, coming to sit down beside me and taking my hand in hers. She looked at me sincerely. "What you did today with Wes and Summer, it was really brave and mature. You put your wants and feelings aside and helped set him up with the perfect girl while simultaneously allowing yourself to let go of him so you can move on."

I exhaled deeply, leaning my head down on her shoulder. "Growing up kinda sucks, doesn't it?"

"Eh," she teased. "It'd be easier to eat tubs of ice cream while watching sad rom-coms, right?"

I laughed as I lifted my head and looked at her. "You're the best friend a girl could ask for."

She grinned, her nose scrunching as she smiled. "As are you, Fifi."

I sighed as I stood up and walked over to the desk to grab my textbooks. "I am going to study until my brain hurts."

Michelle made a sour face. "I wish I had that much courage. Do you want to order Chinese or pizza tonight?"

"Hmm," I puckered my lips out in thought. "How ab-"

I was cut off when a knock sounded on my door. I assumed it was Chris but the knock was rapid and loud, not stopping for a second.

"Jeez!" I groaned as I rushed over the door, unlocking and opening it so the crazy person would stop banging on the door. "What a-"

I was cut off when Wes rushed into the room. He looked angry, like I had never seen him before.

"Wes?" I exhaled, my eyebrows pulling together in confusion. I didn't even have a second to process what was going on before Wes looked frantic and more frustrated than I thought was possible.

"We need to talk." His tone was cold and stern.

I blinked, still confused. "What's wrong?"

Michelle sucked in her lips as she started slipping past us. "I'm just going to... go. Let you two- yeah, I'm out." She shot me a sheepish look before sliding out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Wes was evidently agitated. He ran a hand down his face, looking completely worn out.

"What the hell happened?" I sputtered, starting to grow worried because of the state he was in. "She wasn't... some closeted serial killer or something, was she?"

Wes gave me a dull look, clearly unamused and in no mood for jokes. He exhaled sharply, seeming to calm down slightly as he peered at me.

He softly shook his head as he took a seat on the edge of my bed.

Hesitantly, I walked over and sat down beside him. I couldn't help but place my hand over his which seemed to help because his shoulders relaxed.

"What happened?" I reached my hand under his chin and turned him to look at me. I spoke softly, the concern evident all over my face.

Wes paused for a very long moment as he looked at me. His eyes were clouded with some sort of sadness behind them.

He turned his body to face me fully. "The little set up with Summer, you mean?" His tone was hard to read. He spoke dully, blankly. "It was really good, Fia."

Wes and I were friends and he always filled me in on his dates but I didn't want to hear this. Not anymore. I couldn't.

I sucked in a sharp breath, avoiding his gaze. I nodded slowly, my heart feeling like it was being clenched. "That's... good."

"Hmm," he nodded his head slowly, his eyes staying trained on mine. "It is. She was kind and funny. She's smart too and really easy to talk to."

I shut my eyes for only a second too long. I fought the urge to kick him out of my room just so I could hide under my covers. "That's good, Wes." My voice was distant but I tried to force a smile on my face to hide my disappointment and lack of enthusiasm.

I had expected exactly this. I knew Wes would love her which is exactly why she was the perfect pick.

I just couldn't help but feel disappointed. I didn't want to. I wanted to be happy for him but it was hard and it hurt. More than I thought it could.

Wes continued to peer at me with his thoughtful eyes, scanning me like he was analyzing me. He let out a dry laugh, causing me to finally meet his eyes.

"What's funny?"

Wes shook his head, humourlessly laughing as he stood up. He paced slowly, continuing to shake his head. "Why did you play match-maker today?"

I gaped at him, taken aback by the question. "It's what we always do. Isn't that what you want me to do?"

When he didn't respond and had continued to slowly pace in my room, I stood up. I walked in front of him, facing him.

"Wes," I tried to get him to stop and look at me. "What is the issue here?"

Wes heaved out a deep breath, stopping to look at me. He narrowed his eyes slightly, a frown on his face. "I don't need you to do it anymore. I don't want you to play cupid, or whatever you want to call it."

My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Does this mean Summer is the one? "Why not? I thought we were supposed to find you 'the perfect person that would finally make you want to settle down and commit to them'. What happened to that?"

Wes exhaled through his nose, letting out a breathy chuckle. I could not understand what the hell was so amusing about this and now I was starting to grow frustrated by how he was acting.

He took a step closer to me, his eyes filled with so many emotions that I couldn't understand. "Don't you understand, Fia? I already found that perfect person."

My mouth fell agape.

What?

What the fuck.

I blinked, my eyebrows furrowing and turning upside down, my mouth opening and closing like a fish. I was so fucking confused.

Wait.

It made sense. That was why Wes had been acting so weird at the cafe and now. He was frustrated that I was trying to set him up with Summer because he already had someone else.

But who?

Why do I not know who?

We were friends, it didn't make sense for him not to mention it.

"What?" I finally exhaled, the confusion seeping off of me like electricity. "Who? Why wouldn't you tell me?"

I didn't know if I was agitated because he didn't tell me or if it was because it sucked ass that he found someone who he found perfect meanwhile I was pining over him like a lovestruck schoolgirl.

Wes let out another breathy chuckle as amusement flashed across his eyes. He tilted his head as he looked down at me.

We took my hands in his. "Fia, I knew from the moment that I met her that she was the one. I don't know what it was but everything about her drives me absolutely crazy."

I felt like I wasn't breathing.

Shit. When the fuck did this happen?

"She was the girl worth committing to that I thought I was looking for but she was right in front of me the whole time," a small smile danced on his face as he continued to explain to me. "Her gorgeous doe eyes and quick mind."

I narrowed my eyes, a conversation flashing into my head triggered by his words.

"What makes you think I could find the perfect girl for you?"

Wes shrugged nonchalantly. "Look at those gorgeous doe-eyes of yours. With those eyes and that quick mind of yours, I'm sure you'd spot out all the fake bitches who I shouldn't waste my time with."

"I think I was smitten as soon as I saw her sitting there. She's beautiful, what can I say?" He grinned cheekily at me, raising his eyebrows. "We clicked instantly. The moment we met, we clicked."

My breath hitched in my throat. "W-what?"

Wait, seriously. What is going on?

Wes only chuckled softly at my confusion. "I'm not sure if I ever really believed she'd set me up with the perfect person that I would want to get into a real relationship with. Maybe I wanted to see the appeal but... I think part of me needed an excuse to hang out with her. And God, did it fucking kill me to watch you with your asshole fucking boyfriend who had no idea how amazing he had it. It's rattles me thinking of how someone can be such an idiot, to let you go the way he did."

I felt all the wind knocked out of me. I was breathless.

He was talking about me.

Am I slow?

I exhaled shakily, blinking like there was something in my eye because the confusion was crashing on top of me like a massive wave.

I sputtered, not being able to form a single word.

Wes placed a hand on my cheek, cupping one side of my face as he tilted my head up so I would look at him in the eye. He smiled softly, warmly at me. His eyes sparkled with affection and admiration.

"I didn't realize it at first. When you played match-maker and set me up on dates, they never worked out because every single time I was on some stupid date, all I could think was that I much rather be hanging out with you," he chuckled softly. "I sound pathetic, right?"

I just gaped at him. So spun out and mindfucked.

He paused for a moment, his eyes narrowing in thought. "That night at the frat party when I brought you back to your dorm. I hadn't even known you for long but at the party when you were sulking because Nate was being a dick, it made me so... sad. I hated that you were sad because of some guy who didn't deserve you. That night I just wanted to take care of you and hug you and see you smile. I had never felt like that around any girl before but all of a sudden, here's me being a soft little bitch."

I chuckled softly, it coming out in a breath. My heart felt like it was swelling up, my body feeling like jello. I felt euphoric.

Wes tucked some strands of my hair away, looking at me like nobody ever had before. His gaze was soft but intent, willful but subconscious at the same time.

"The perfect person I've been looking for," he laughed breathily. "It's you, Fia. It's always been you."