Chapter 10 Gloomy

"Fia, we're going to be on such a tight schedule. Is there no way you can come home earlier for the dress fitting?"

I was so swamped with studying, the last thing I was in the mood for right now was a conversation with my mother. However, if I had declined her call like I wanted to, she would have only found more reasons to bash on me.

My mother had a way of finding a problem with just about every single thing I did. Or didn't do.

I sighed and ran a hand down my face, my body feeling exhausted and worn out. "Mom, I'm going to be home for weeks. I can't just come back before the break starts. I have classes and exams are coming up."

My mother sighed dramatically through the phone. "Fia, this is about your sister. You're being so selfish. It's her big day and you can't make any compromises."

My jaw fell, the urge to ram my head into the table very tempting. I tried to keep a calm and quiet voice since I was sitting in the campus library but it was hard to say patient when it came to my mother.

Luckily for me, it was quite late in the evening and the library was going to be closing soon. There was nobody sitting near me and not many people in the library right now anyways, so nobody was going to overhear my bickering with my mother.

"Mom," I gritted out, my annoyance bubbling to an unsafe level. "This isn't some high school class I can skip. I have serious courses and so much classwork to do."

"This is why we have been telling you to work at your father's company so one day you can inherit a proportion of it along with your sister." She spoke in a taunting and stern tone.

This was just how my mother was. She's narcissistic and a perfectionist. She adored my sister and every little thing about her, leaving her to critique everything about me.

I tried to interact with my mother as little as humanly possible.

I clenched my jaw, growing more frustrated and annoyed.

I had these conversations with my family so many times, yet they failed to understand my side of anything. "I want to make a career for myself, mother. I'm interested in medical, I don't want to work an office job for the rest of my life."

"You should have some more respect for your father's work, Fia."

"I do respect his work," I sighed, shaking my head. She always knew how to find fault in everything I said or did. "I just don't want to go on the same path, career-wise, as him."

I didn't think my point was too difficult to grasp. I was not going to allow my family to control what I end up doing for the rest of my life, no matter how much they judge me for it.

My mother heaved out a deep breath. "You're giving me a migraine so late at night, Fia."

Well, I didn't tell you to call me, did I?

"Any-who," she continued, her tone dull. "Is that boyfriend of yours coming? Nate. He was always such a charmer."

I gritted my teeth, Nate being the last person I wanted to discuss right now. With the way he had been treating me lately, it only annoyed me more that my mother was so fond of him.

"Uh... sorry mom you're cutting out. I can't hear you."

"Fia."

"Hello?" I continued, moving my face further from my phone. "Mom? Can you hear me?"

"Fia, what is this nonsense? I don't have time fo-"

"Sorry mom, can't hear you. Must be service problems. Talk to you later!"

I quickly hung up the phone, no longer wanting to hear anything else my mother needed to disgrace me for.

I groaned quietly, resting my forehead down on the cool wood table top.

My family was exhausting to say the least.

My sister was the definition of a perfect human in my parents' eyes. She always focused on her studies but balanced it with her social and extra-curricular activities, she always had good grades and was a teacher's pet, she always had a perfect boyfriend who then became her fiancé. Stable relationship, good motivation.... I could go on for hours about everything that makes her perfect and ideal in my parents' eyes.

I don't know if it's because of her or just because my parents expect so much, but anything I do will never be enough for them. Like I was an extra photo copy made but could never live up to the real deal - Mirah.

Shutting my books because I no longer had the energy to finish any assignments, I packed up my stuff and left the library.

I had started walking back to my dorm but last minute, turned and headed to Nate's dorm instead. I don't know why.

Part of me didn't want to see him. Lately he had been making me feel so small and irrelevant, so sad all the time. I felt worthless to him and it shouldn't be like that.

But right now, I just needed a hug. I wanted my boyfriend to be my boyfriend for five minutes and comfort me, hug me, tell me everything is fine.

I felt drained with all the stress of studying and exams. Not to mention my sister's wedding come up that I was dreading going to. After my phone call with my mother, I felt even more shitty about myself.

I didn't think I was expecting much and I had high hopes that maybe tonight Nate would be back to his old and normal self. Even if it was just for a little while because I badly needed the comfort for the old Nate.

The Nate that would stay in with me all day just to rewatch old movies. The Nate that would massage my shoulders after a long day. The Nate that acted like he was my boyfriend and not a scorning husband wanting a divorce.

It was pretty late at night and there wasn't a party I had heard of happening tonight so I figured he'd be in his dorm.

But boy, was I wrong.

I knocked on the door, tapping my foot impatiently as I waited for Nate to answer the door.

"Fia?"

Instead, a sleepy looking Wes answered the door. He was shirtless and his hair was a mess, making it obvious that he been sleeping before I got here and woke him up.

"Hey," I mumbled softly, shifting on my feet. I don't know why but I was expecting that Wes would be out with some girl right now. "Is Nate here?"

"Uh..." Wes rubbed the back of his neck in an awkward manner. He shook his head softly as he peered at me with his warm eyes. "No, he's not. Is everything okay?"

I nodded my head, my shoulders weighing down. Of course Nate is out with his friends.

"Yeah, I just..." I paused, sighing in defeat. I don't know why my phone call with my mother suddenly made me feel gloomy. "It's nothing, I just wanted to see him. Do you know where he is?"

"Here, come in," Wes opened the door further and allowed me in. "I'm not sure. He was going to Tom's dorm to hang out with the others."

I nodded my head slowly, staring down at my shoes.

Of course he was.

"Hey," Wes stepped closer to me, placing a hand under my chin and lifting my head so I would look at him. "Is everything okay, Fia? What's wrong?"

His eyes were filled with pure concern and tenderness as he looked down at me.

"Nothing," I choked out, stepping away from Wes because the close proximity was making me feel all fuzzy inside. That was not the way I should be feeling for anyone other than my boyfriend.

Wes frowned, his hand dropping. "I don't buy it. You can talk to me." A flash of disappointment could be seen on his face, like he was a little offended that I was pulling away from him.

I exhaled deeply, taking a seat on the edge of Wes's bed. "I don't know, Wes. Nothing is working out."

"What's not working out?" He sat down beside me, tilting his head and looking down at me because of our height difference.

I stared at my lap, not wanting to meet his gaze.

His warm and comforting eyes would only make my head spin. I also wanted to do my best to not look at Wes because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to stop staring at his toned upper body that was left bare.

"Everything," I sighed, shaking my head softly.

"Talk to me," his tone was comforting, reassuring. Exactly what I needed right now. "You can, if you want to. I am here for you, Fia."

I heaved out a heavy breath. I couldn't stop myself from laying out all my problems for Wes to see. I needed to get it off my chest and something about Wes made it so easy to talk to him, be open and vulnerable.

It was like I knew he wouldn't judge me. I knew instantly that he would be here for me and comfort me, sincerely.

And that was what I felt like I badly needed right now.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly. "I don't want to see my family in a few weeks. And Nate, well you know how Nate's been lately. I don't know how to fix it anymore. I don't know how much longer I can keep trying when he won't reciprocate." I let out a weak, humourless chuckle. "School's kicking my ass and I have so much studying to do before exams but I can't even focus on school because all day long I'm stressing about Nate," I paused momentarily, rolling my eyes at all of this. "Or wondering what my parents will patronize me for this time they see me."

After my small rant, I exhaled a deep breath. I didn't realize so much was on my mind but I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest, just from letting it all out.

Wes paused for a moment. Before I knew it, he had wrapped his strong arms around me, hugging me in a comforting manner.

I heaved out a slow breath, deeply needing a hug right now.

I relaxed in his hold, feeling secure for a moment. My body filled with warmth, having him hugging me tight and holding me close.

I felt like all the broken and cracked parts of me were being mended. Just from his hold.

"Everything will work out the way it's supposed to," he mumbled into my hair, nuzzling his head in my neck.

I shut my eyes, focusing on the warmth his touch brought me, the way his arms wrapped around me perfectly, the way he held me like he had no intention of letting go.

"Wes," I mumbled after a minute.

"Mhm?"

I swallowed hard, feeling a lump in my gut. "I..."

"What is it?" He let go of me, looking at me again but keeping one arm around my waist. Worry flashed in his eyes, his eyebrows drawing together as he peered at me questioningly and wondered what was on my mind.

I locked gazes with him, peering at him and suddenly losing track of time as I looked into his gorgeous crystal like baby blue eyes.

The way his face was just inches away from mine made my heart race.

This was wrong.

I should not be feeling like this.

I'm just hormonal right now.

"I should go." I choked the words out, causing him to snap out of the trance he had fallen into along with me.

He cleared his throat, moving his face further away from me. "Are you sure?"

I nodded very unsurely. "It's late. I should get some sleep."

Wes nodded his head as he stood up. He reached for a sweatshirt that was lying on his bed and slid it over his head.

He turned to look at me, grinning warmly. "I'll walk you back to your dorm."

I let out a small laugh, shaking my head as I also stood up. "I appreciate that but I can manage."

Wes quirked an eyebrow at me, tilting his head. "You're saying you want me to let a pretty girl like you walk alone in the middle of the night?"

My cheeks instantly heated up but I forced out a chuckle. "I'm a little offended you don't think I can handle myself, Weston."

Wes grinned, shaking his head lightly at me. Amusement flashed across his face. "I have no doubt you have some fight in you. I know you can handle yourself, sweetheart. I'm walking you back for my own comfort."

I raised my eyebrows at him in a playful manner, ignoring the warmth that had rose to my face. "You're that worried about me?"

Wes shrugged nonchalantly as he headed for the door. "Let's go."