3

"Hestia, how long ago did Hephaestus kick you out?"

"Mou Elric-kun, you're so not cute."

"Don't pout... I'm just trying to understand the timeline, how long we have."

"A couple weeks back, you happy?"

"Maybe, hopefully."

The conversation had been niggling at my brain since I'd had it; it was about the best case scenario I could have hoped for, but it was also a reminder of the time ticking down before my impulsive decision was proven right or wrong. I'm the first to admit that I'm an impatient man, that my choices are often based on nothing more than my own desires, but here?

I thought more about this decision than I did any other in my life. I could have gone anywhere, done anything, but I came here, to Hestia. I won't lie and say it wasn't an utterly massive risk that I made based on my limited understanding of the Falna, but I was right.

An accomplishment, refined by a God's interest and emotion and sheer narrative weight turned into the strongest skill I'd seen in the series. All because I was right to go to Hestia, so I could help this world, so I could be a hero.

It would take effort, a tremendous amount in fact; without Realis Phrase the fastest leveller in the history of Orario was Ais Wallenstein, who took a solid year to reach level two and by the time she got to level five that had slowed down to five years per level. I didn't have that time, I had at most a year and a half.

But this skill? It could do it -I could do it- I firmly believe that with all my being.

So much so that when I came face to face with my first dead adventurer and the goblin currently eating his spleen, it didn't shake me, or make me realise my own mortality -or any of that shit.

My only thought was that I couldn't waste any more time on these weaklings.

The Goblin cried out and scrambled off the corpse towards me, a gash on its stomach impeding its already slow movements. I watched it come and felt nothing but contempt; no this really won't do, I didn't have time to play in this kiddie pool.

Throwing my usual caution to the wind I stepped in and punted the midget with a form any football fan would be proud of. The feeling of its warm, bulbous beer belly contorting over my shin almost made me regret my choice before it blasted down the corridor, tumbling over the rough stone.

The sight brought a vague smile to my lips, the baby punting meme from the more edgy corners of the internet had done its rounds in my past life and I'd seen it enough times that it had managed to draw a chuckle or two out of me. But it was a smile that didn't last as I turned to the dead adventurer before me.

I didn't offer anything to the man other than closing his wide, horrified eyes. The man had died to a single Goblin, there was no future in which he wouldn't have otherwise died in this dungeon, whether that was tomorrow or in a week's time.

As I was finishing off the weakly struggling Gobbo, I looked up at the sound of scraping and found what I was looking for. Not ten feet away, hiding behind an innocuous corner was a dog-like face, my first Kobold.

The Kobold startled as soon as I noticed it, breaking cover with a snarl and charging towards me. I stood my ground, putting my sword between us, a small part of me realising that I should probably be leading with my shield, but my fencing habits were coming to the fore.

It ran faster than Goblins due to its height advantage, chewing up the distance between us, but it moved almost lethargically in contrast to the almost manic energy of its little green counterparts, making it much more predictable.

It reached me in the span of a second, reaching out with a clawed hand instead of putting any real weight or momentum behind its strike. I tilted my blade to meet it, expecting the thing to pull out of it like a feint, my eyes widening when it instead barrelled its arm straight into the blade. Unlike its Gobbo counterparts I could feel the bones in its arms parting before my blade, the resistance and weight behind it nearly driving the blade from my grip.

I grunt as I double down on my grip, driving the blade out and backing away as the Kobold screams its dumb little head off, clutching at its nearly split in two limb.

"The fuck are you screaming for? You ran into my blade." I ask incredulously as the dog-headed monster whines like an actual kicked puppy, "Oh don't give me that look, this is a dance, I anticipated your movement, you're supposed to back off and- why am I lecturing a dog...?" I rolled my eyes and lunged without warning, my blade cutting through the limb it throws up in defence and carrying through to split its snout in half.

As it collapsed I couldn't help but look at my blade approvingly; this thing was just a shitty sword that I bought from the first blacksmith I could find. I had been planning on aiming for the soft spots and just using it to earn enough to buy something better, but the blade looked fine in spite of what I had just put it through. Either the monsters here were a lot softer than I expected, or my one-handed perk was carrying me through sheer cutting power alone.

I didn't exactly remember all the numbers from the game, but that must be some hefty buff to let me slice through bone with just two perks, even if they are weak-ass monsters. Yet more proof of the strength of my skill, and how possible the path before me was.

Standing over the corpse, I once again lament the fact that this is not the anime. Carving the Kobold in fact turned into such a pain that I wound up putting in too much power to compensate for my lack of leverage and destroyed yet another stone. I rolled my eyes as the rat-faced bastard crumbled to dust.

"That's going to get real old, real fast." I grumbled, trying again on the Goblin, just focusing on getting the damn crystal out. As soon as I touched the monster, it crumbled to ash and I was left there just blinking in confusion. I definitely didn't break it, hell I had barely even parted the skin when it ashed, so…

A wondrous thought occurred to me and I immediately checked my inventory, sure enough there was one more stone in my collection. I froze for one glorious moment, just appreciating the sheer luck of the star I was born under.

"Thank you Todd Howard." I breathed in reverence. "I take back everything I've ever said about your games, you've saved me so much time."

Ten minutes and seven stones sucked up into my inventory later, I was in the final corridor of floor one, staring down the two Kobolds that had been waiting in ambush by the stairs with a grin on my face.

Like the rest, they didn't fuck around, just hoofing it towards me the minute they realised I'd seen them. They snarled furiously, fury evident in their beady red eyes, but that fury made them dumb as rocks and they came at me with enough spacing that as long as I handled the first quickly, I wouldn't have to take them at once.

I met the first's charge, meeting his opening swipe with a matching blow and almost laughing as his arm fell clean off. My follow up however hit air as the dog-fucker immediately collapsed, his momentum carrying him skidding across the floor behind me, clutching at his ruined limb.

"Shit." I cursed as the second leapt in. I raised my shield to take the skittering blow, painfully aware that something that wanted to kill me was in my blind spot right now. The thought propelled me forward and I shield bashed into his blow, a meaty metallic thump ringing out as it crashed into something heavy that I could only guess was its head.

I followed up with a blind slash into what I hoped was a stunned target, my blade meeting nothing but neck, blood splattering across the tunnel. I didn't get even a moment to enjoy my victory however, before burning hot pain erupted from my leg.

I turned my gasp of pain into a grunt, keeping my footing and spinning to bring my blade down on the one-armed bastard currently digging his claws into my leg. My sword buried itself into his head as he gave me one last glare of raw hatred.

"Motherfu..." I gritted my teeth, focusing on taking its magic stone; my desire turned the dog-fucker to ash and I had to gnash my teeth together as the pain immediately spiked. "Spiteful dog licker!"

Fumbling mentally through my inventory I ripped a pair of potions from the pile I'd mentally named 'good' potions and sniffed the first. A nutty scent filled my nostrils and all my instincts could make out was that it was some kind of restoring potion.

"Good enough." I muttered, downing the thing; the taste wasn't bad, but my wound didn't heal and all I was left with was a clearer mind to focus on the pain. I smelled the second, nutty, I tossed it back in with a growl, taking two more out of my inventory before I finally found one that smelled different, grilled meat.

Skittering broke through my pain induced focus and I looked up to find another pair of Kobolds and a Goblin sprinting from down a corridor on my left.

"Oh fuck you." I utter, quickly trying to down the potion. They're on me before I can finish and the potion cracks as I brace both arms against my shield to ward off the full-body slam of a Kobold. I slide backwards, turning the strike into a retreat, back peddling sharply on a half healed ankle.

"Hestia, if you're watching this…" I began with a pained smile. "I'm about to do something my people call a 'Pro gamer move'."

My shield disappears in a warm glow, startling the monsters for just long enough for me to grab the surprise I prepared earlier from my inventory. My bucket, the bucket flashed into existence as I cast it in a wide arc, the revolting purplish liquid filling the air like mist and spontaneously catching fire.

For legal reasons the following screams and body horror are not something I can put to paper, nor describe to you in good conscience. So I'll just settle for stating that the one who didn't die immediately, was promptly executed mercifully.

"Ah, sorry Hestia..." I cringe awkwardly, imagining her watching this. "Wasn't expecting that." I glanced at the remains before quickly turning away again.

Ah well, some things you can't do anything about, nothing for it but to continue the grind: if Bell could make it to the fifth floor in two weeks, then I would at least reach the third floor today.

-

The Dungeon, Third Floor

Filian Nowe

Collapsing back against the cool stone of the staircase, Filian let out a long sigh of relief. "That could have gone better..."

Besides him Ilya rolled her purple eyes, but even she -in all her noble stoicism- looked worse for wear. The red headed member of their training team didn't respond so much as collapse onto her back, breathing deeply.

Filian tried not to look at her barely covered breasts, he really did -it was against his elven pride after all- but they were right there. And if she didn't want him to look then she wouldn't wear such a thin shirt into the dungeon right?

Right…?

"Fil if you don't stop staring I'm-!" She coughed harshly, heaving in another rasping breath. "-Shit!"

Okay so maybe she did mind.

"Fil…" A reproving voice rang out and he couldn't help but wince as the untouched figure of their trainer strode into his vision. The wince seemed to satisfy Mr Nord enough for him to move on. "Now, you guys know what went wrong right?"

Filian did, he had a full view of the dungeon lizard dropping in from Judith's blind spot from his spot in the rear, but the way Ilya looked away and Judith just growled, didn't convince him that his teammates knew.

Mr Nord gave an uneasy smile. "Judith, Ilya for now I want you both to slow down and keep your eyes peeled. Fil, you're the rear guard," Filian cringed at the upcoming reprimand, "I shouldn't need to tell you that you need to watch your friends' backs."

Shouldn't need to, but would anyway, because he was-

"AGH!" Judith suddenly shouted, slamming her fist into the floor. "Fuck this shit! We've been in the dungeon for two weeks and we're still stuck on the third floor!?" The sheer frustration and anger in her voice made Filian wince; realistically he knew that their progress was fine and well within expectations, but when your two teammates were these two…

It was hard not to take every setback personally when Judith would explode in anger every time and Ilya would close in on herself more.

"Judith…" Mr Nord said warningly, before shaking his head in tired acceptance. "Rest for a few, we'll start again after that."

Judith settled at that, the promise of trying again enough to quell her anger, at least for now.

Filian didn't understand where she got the energy to be honest, he had the advantage of being in the rear, avoiding the overwhelming majority of monsters and yet his body still felt like one big bruise. As a melee fighter she really shouldn't have the energy to be that angry, never mind have enough in the tank to push them to keep going long after they'd blown through their potion allowance.

Mr Nord looked like he was going to say something, but instead snapped around to look up the stairs. Filian didn't hear anything despite his elven ears, but high level adventurer's senses were insanely good; if he thought someone was coming, then someone was probably coming.

Adjusting his position to free up his quiver, he pulled his bow closer and noted his friends similarly preparing, his eyes focusing on the top of the stairs.

As the tension racketed up, Filian noticed their teacher crinkling his brow in confusion, with the reason reaching his ears not a second later.

"Scree!" A Goblin screeched as it twirled gracelessly into view from the floor above. In weeks past Filian might have frozen up at such an odd sight, but now his instincts already had him training an arrow on the beast. He needn't have bothered however as the Goblin splattered into the landing just above his group and fell silent.

Boots followed after the little monster and a tall human came into view, a smile on his face as he made his way down to them.

"Oh hey, you guys are Loki familia right?" The man called out cheerfully, sidling up to the Goblin.

An awkward silence fell over the group as Filian realised that Mr Nord was stepping back from the situation, letting them deal with the encounter on their own. He cringed at the realisation, Judith was too wound up right now and Ilya usually preferred to remain silent, which just left him.

"Ye-yeah." He spoke up, attempting a roguish smile. "That's us, Loki-sama's amazing trio in training!" A wince broke through his facade as the speech strained the injury on his side.

"You alright?" The man asked as he sliced the Goblin's throat, his eyes still locked onto Filian. "Need a potion?"

He wanted to say yes, for a variety of reasons mostly related to pain, but Filian was struck by the sheer casualness the man exuded even while killing.

"It's coming out of your pocket." Mr Nord cut in, reminding them of the general rule for overuse of consumables. Filian almost groaned in disappointment, while Judith actually did as she threw a petulant glare at their teacher.

The man just laughed. "Here, it's on me."

He tossed it to Filian, who almost cheered as he raised an arm to catch it. "Thanks-" Suddenly Mr Nord was there, the vial in his hand as he inspected it with a critical eye.

All at once, Filian felt like a dunce again, he'd forgotten the first rule of dealing with other adventurers: never trust them.

They'd lie, cheat and kill their way to any advantage they could claim against their fellows, poison was just one of their many tricks, and Filian didn't even think about doing due diligence. Sure, it wasn't likely that the man would poison him right in front of a level four, but caution was being drilled into them for a reason. He cursed his own stupidity.

A long moment of tension entered the air as the man's smile faded a touch.

"It's good." Their teacher announced, offering the vial to the closest of them, Judith. "Share it." He reminded her, even as he turned to stare at the man in evaluation. "You offer potions to everyone you meet?"

"You're the first I've met in the dungeon, so I dunno yet." The man threw out the rather baffling statement casually. "But I'm an alchemist, so it doesn't cost much to be friendly."

"And what's the cost for this 'friendliness'?" Judith shot out, not yet having drank the potion, but the desire was clearly there given how it lingered next to her lips. The man just smiled in response, sitting down at the edge of the landing.

"Well, some tips for in there would be great." Filian felt himself relax at the words, even teacher seemed to relax a little; a give and take was a lot more understandable than random people offering free shit in the dungeon.

"Not much to it." Filian began, eyeing Judith as she scoffed and downed almost half the potion, he winced a little at that. "The corridors are a bit wider, the groups a bit bigger -you'll sometimes even get five or six monsters in a mixed group- and they're a little stronger. Biggest thing to focus on is the Dungeon Lizards."

"Dungeon Lizards?" The man queried, but it sounded strange to Filian's ears, like he was actually asking what a Dungeon Lizard was in the first place.

Filian shook it off and just nodded along. "Big lizards that stick to the ceiling, blending into the stone and the darkness, you get too close and they'll throw themselves at you."

The man hummed at the information. "You guys heading back in? I'm Elric by the way." He gave them a winning smile that had Judith scoffing; Elric was a little obvious with what he was angling for.

"If you wanna leech of us, then-!" She fell silent as their teacher raised his arm, but she kept glaring at Elric who seemed entirely unbothered.

"Judith. Moments like these come in the dungeon, when you have to choose between working together with your fellow Adventurers or not." Mr Nord of course decided to turn the situation into a teaching encounter, something Elric oddly didn't seem to mind. "The very least you can do is hear them out while thinking about what they can offer you."

"Pretty much." Elric agreed, playing into their teacher's lesson. "In this case I can offer potions and to take the front, an extra sword should make things go a bit easier at least." Judith prickled at the insinuation that they needed help -even though they did- but ultimately simmered down.

"Up to you team, whatever happens I'll be here." Mr Nord reminded them reassuringly.

Filian sighed, knowing it was going to be his choice again... and his consequences. At least Ilya was finally passing him the potion- annnd it's a sixth full.

Greedy humans.

"Well I'm down for it." Filian announced his decision in no way informed by the temptation of more potions. "I'm Fil by the way." Elric nodded respectfully at him.

"Ilya Lindsay." His noble teammate added, though Elric didn't seem to recognise the house name, hoorah for small mercies.

"Judith, don't hold us back." Judith cut in bluntly, as they all got back to their feet and readied themselves to brave the floor again.

"Nice to meet you all, which way we headin'?" The man left the decision up to them. Filian nodded approvingly, already Elric was more agreeable than Filian's teammates.

"We finished off the left corridor only ten minutes ago," or at least their teacher finished it off, "let's go right." Elric nodded, marching off at a decent pace. The others exchanged glances and fell in behind the man, maintaining a bit of distance and keeping an eye on him, while Mr Nord fell in besides Filian in the back.

And just like that they were back in, wandering through endless tunnels that all looked the same as the atmosphere suffocated them in its horrid mix of silence and stale air. The only thing that was worse than the silence? The little sounds, the distant thumps that broke it for the barest of moments, each raising his guard and bringing him back to full attention, only for it to turn out to be nothing, again.

Never able to relax, never able to let down your guard, kept on a knife's edge for minutes, hours. It makes your stomach crawl, your eyes itch and your mouth goes dry. Mr Nord had told them that, that was sometimes the worst part of the dungeon, the insidious killer.

Becoming tired.

Oddly, that didn't seem to affect their new party member overly much, as the man walked along with a relaxed posture, sword resting on his shoulder. Even Judith had noticed the man's lackadaisical nature, probably only narrowly holding herself back from chewing him out. Filian shook his head, the dungeon would do that for her in a bit.

Then his sensitive ears pricked up, or right now.

Sure enough, a Dungeon Lizard leapt off the ceiling as the walls cracked around them, splitting the team in two. Filian cursed and leapt back, putting some room between him and monsters as he readied an arrow; as much as the guy needed an awareness check, they still needed their tank up and ready.

Before he could line up the shot however, the man's blade swept off his shoulder and caught the Lizard with an almost lazy slash that shattered its stone. The freshly spawned monsters froze as one of their number exploded, turning to face the man.

Filian took the chance to shoot one of them in the back, his eyes still focused on Elric as the man turned around. To his sides, Ilya and Judith charged in, engaging a Kobold each, swords flashing as they whittled away at the monsters' defence.

For a moment Filian was struck by just how well everything was going, normally a group of this size would have torn past the front and forced him back, occasionally pushing him so far that he would end up drawing in more monsters to the point that their teacher would have to step in. But here? Despite the disastrous spawning, it was like that one quick kill had drawn all the attention of the monsters, leaving Filian free to loose as many arrows as he could.

A pair of monsters fell to his arrows as his teammates finished off the two they were engaging, with the remainder falling to Elric's odd swordplay.

"I'm not the best at carving stones." Elric suddenly announced, smiling awkwardly. "Do you mind if I stick to guarding?"

Judith grumbled a bit before shaking her head. "You're strong, it's fine."

Filian blinked in shock as she actually crouched down to start carving, would the miracles never cease? They normally just left the carving to him.

"Oi Fil, don't slack!" She called -rather hypocritically- but that was fine, he could deal with that, it was just nice not being the only one for once.

"So how long have you guys been adventuring?" Elric asked suddenly, Judith gritted her teeth.

"Two weeks." Ilya surprisingly spoke up, her purple eyes staring at the man with curiosity. "And you?"

Elric laughed. "Started today." He announced in the most obvious lie Filian had ever heard.

Before Judith could explode however, their teacher cut in with a thoughtful hum. "That explains a few things."

"It does!?" Judith demanded.

"Elric here is pretty decent with a sword, but his speed and strength are actually lacking compared to you lot." Mr Nord told them.

"But then…" Ilya trailed off.

"It's because he has a damage skill." Their teacher announced, staring at their party member.

"Was it that obvious?" Elric asked in surprisingly good humour for someone being called out on their Falna's secrets in front of strangers.

"Your sword was going through bone without the proper form or strength behind it, and that sword is..." Elric shifted slightly at the sword comment, but otherwise took it on the chin. "I've seen enough damage skills to recognise the signs."

"A bit foolhardy to demonstrate it in front of a level four huh?" Elric chuckled self-deprecatingly.

Mr Nord nodded agreeably. "Other familias would probably try to scoop you up."

"Yeah, I figured it would be fine with you Loki lot though." At that Filian's brows raised, the man glanced at him. "Loki-sama has a pretty nice record, this baby skill wouldn't be worth the reputation loss if it came out that you were bullying smaller familias."

"Probably yeah…" Their teacher rubbed the back of his head with a smile as Filian stood a little straighter, for his familia to have such a reputation… it filled him with pride. "If you're interested, I could talk to my Goddess."

At those words all of them jerked, swinging around to stare at Mr Nord and his incredibly casual offer.

"Just like that huh?" Elric asked, seeming to find their teacher's offer to be humorous.

"You've got potential, and we can afford to buy off other familias for promising rookies."

"I'll keep it in mind, but I don't want to leave my Goddess alone." Elric said, a strangely wistful expression on his face. "I'll relay the offer, but from what I understand our Goddesses have a… tenuous relationship."

Eh? What does that mean, and why is teacher sighing?

"Hestia-sama by any chance?"

"Does Loki-sama complain about her a lot?" Elric returned with a laugh.

"Ever since she descended." Mr Nord returned with a reminiscing smile.

"Divines, am I right?" Their teacher laughed along with the man while they were just left standing there in befuddlement.

Sure Loki-sama could be a bit… but she was a Goddess, an actual divine worthy of all the respect that title deserved. To be talking about her and a fellow Goddess as if they were troublesome children, was bizarre.

"Oh, has Loki-sama not groped these ones yet?" The man asked an absolutely insane question with a matter-of-fact bluntness that Filian was very quickly beginning to associate with him.

"G-Grope!?" Judith demanded, a heavy blush on her cheeks as her sword twitched towards Elric.

"You know about that? Guess we haven't been keeping it that quiet." Mr Nord mused, as Ilya and Judith turned to him with expressions of disbelief. "Ah, it's not that big of a deal you three, Loki-sama only does it to people she knows will put her in her place."

"Put her…?" Judith trailed off in disbelief.

"He means beat her off with a stick." Elric offered with a chuckle.

"Loki-sama is a pervert…" Ilya whispered.

"She is, but she wouldn't do anything to you guys." Their teacher offered, before continuing in a small voice, "yet…"

"If she tries anything, I'll kick her ass!" His red-headed teammate swore then and there, fire in her eyes.

Elric just laughed. "That's the spirit." Amazingly Mr Nord nodded along with him. "You just hav- Oh, we've got a few coming up front."

Filian blinked, suddenly realising that they were in the dungeon- that monsters were coming. Adrenaline flooded his veins as he realised he'd let himself relax in the joking atmosphere. He tensed, his elven eyes finding the small pack of Kobolds tearing towards them.

"Yeah, when it comes to Divines…" Elric went on to Filian's disbelief, calmly continuing the conversation even as monsters descended upon him. "You just have to deal with their quirks sometimes." His blade lashed out, cleanly slicing off the arm and then head of the first Kobold, his shield raising to meet the attack of another before Judith slammed into it blade first.

Filian shook off his shock and sent a pair of arrows down range, picking off a small Goblin in the back of the group.

"They've spent an eternity up in Tenkai, more than enough time to go a little crazy." Elric added as he stepped back into the battle and gutted one of the Kobolds making a beeline for Ilya. "And more than enough time for them to get a little obsessed with interesting things."

"Interesting?" Ilya queried, dancing out of the way of a Kobold's lunge and severing its tendons in return.

"GODS! Would you shut up!?" Judith suddenly shouted. "I'm trying~! To kill things here!" She yelled, slamming her blade into the thick neck of her already crippled Kobold.

"My bad." Elric apologised once the monsters were all dead with a not-so-sorry smile on his face. Judith didn't look at him however, staring instead at the wall; only Filian's elven eyes let him notice the blush on her cheeks.

"No- it's…" Judith cut herself off in frustration, seeming to force herself to calm down. "I'm just worked up." She huffed.

"Talking in combat is… a bad habit." The man offered, even seeming a touch guilty about it.

"Yeah." Their teacher nodded. "Some of our executives- well, they can be quite the chatterboxes in the midst of things. I tend to keep my head down though." He admitted.

Filian blinked at that titbit, he'd heard rumours of some of the things they had to fight down there; the idea that some of their leaders could chat away in the middle of that… it sounded unreal.

"...Can I ask him now, Judith?" Ilya asked blandly, Judith shot her a venomous glare and turned her attention to carving. Ilya turned her eyes to the enigma amongst them.

"Interesting as in us." Elric clarified. "If you think about Gods as obsessive children bickering over toys you'll probably have the right of it more often than not."

Filian wasn't the only one to turn and look at Mr Nord in something approaching disbelief; the man's guilty expression that was slowly morphing into something perverse didn't reassure them.

"Honestly it's kind of great," their teacher spoke up with a dopey smile on his face, "Loki-sama heaps all kinds of luxuries on us upper rankers, for our- ah, loyalty. That competitiveness is really something."

"We've lost him." Filian whispered, staring with his fellow rookie's at the previously reliable man who had been serving as their teacher.

"I dunno what kind of whorehouse he's imagining, but it must've been a damn good one." Elric laughed in their stunned faces. "C'mon guys, let's keep at it! I wanna make the fourth floor before the end of my first day."

Filian's mouth dropped, staring at the back of the tall man as he cheerfully made his way through the dungeon. It was only much later that Filian realised that the dungeon's daunting atmosphere had fallen apart in front of the bizarre camaraderie of the strange group he'd found himself in.