Bell's Conversational Gymnastics

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction based on multiple existing anime/manga series. The characters and settings used in this story belong to their respective owners and creators, and no copyright infringement is intended. This story is purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended to infringe upon any existing intellectual property. I do not own any of the original works that inspired this fanfiction, and I fully support the original creators and their works.

- Author note start-

Yo Yo And Sup Sup my reading and fanfiction enthusiasts! How are you this fine day? Good? Wonderful? It doesn't matter! Because after this chapter! You'll probably feel worse! Or better? Depends on you really! Anyways... It seems Bell's caught between a rock and a hard place. How will our hero be able to maneuver out of this situation when taking into account he's an absolutely terrible liar? Well... Find out right now!

Apologies for the shorter chapter! To compensate... There will be another 2 chapters released in the next 2 days! That's right! 2 Chapters! One will be short, and the other will be Normal sized. Short is around 2-3k words. The normal size is around 3.5k-6k words so yep yep!

As always reviews, feedback, comments, ideas, and suggestions would really boost my motivation and capability to write you guys a story you would enjoy! And...

Thank you for reading, truly! and most importantly... Enjoy!

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-Author note end-

-Story Start-

Back on the scene, Bell physically uncomfortable by Ais's intensity, combined with his brain running at full power to try and come up with a proper response that won't compromise his deranged Mentor's species.

At noticing Bell's frozen and disturbed figure, Ais of course further intensifies her gaze towards him. In an example of her severe lack of social awareness and or tact.

Finn, however, in contrast with his adoptive? daughter has some common decency and grabs the girl to back off and provide the boy some breathing room.

"Calm down Ais, give him some breathing room. Sorry about that!" Finn snaps at Ais, ordering her to back off with finality, then meets Bell's ruby eyes with his own as he flashes an apologetic smile toward the disturbed rabbit.

"Ah I see, it's not a sibling duo. But this guy's a Pallum, Short guy species whatever. Probably middle-aged!" Merlin comments in analysis, stroking his scaly chin.

Ais, having heard the snappy voice of her commander and surrogate father, snaps out of her intense trance and backs out of Bell's personal space. That usually, were she not so creepy, he'd be delighted with her invasion of his personal space.

'If that Merlin fellow was only a result of a fake rumor, one which was made up as an excuse by jealous rookie adventurers who are overshadowed by Bell Cranel's monstrous growth. He'd not have such a telling reaction... Now, to see what he comes up with.' Finn analyzed Bell's honest reaction to their questioning. Finn is internally thankful that Bell is such an easy-to-access Well of information. One who isn't trying to make his life any harder, unlike a certain Goddess Of Fertility. Or Mischief... But Finn doesn't like talking about the latter.

"Snap out of it," Merlin ordered with a biting tone.

At Merlin's words, Bell snaps out of his trance blinking twice, signaling the return? of his composure.

"O-Oh, it's fine, really! I'm sorry I was just not prepared for Ais-san's... Intensity." Bell coughs out nervously, a little sweat on his forehead.

'Some help would be nice Merlin-sensei!' Bell thought to himself in a panic, as he notices an uncharacteristically disturbing silence and lack of commentary by the scaly bacteria at the moment.

'I wonder how he'll get out of this one! Will my monstrous and Heavenly (Self Proclaimed) existence be discovered through his pathetic lying capabilities? Or will he surprise all of us by suddenly developing into a skilled conversationalist and liar that would put no politician to shame?! Fascinating! Exciting! This could be good!' Merlin thought to himself gleefully.

His face, of course, presents the textbook description of apathy, not allowing Bell to decipher his thoughts during the occasional glances that scream help he throws at the sadistic Dragon.

With Bell's composure showing signs of returning, Ais seizes the opportunity.

"Good. So who is—" She starts with the same intensity, a touch more impatience this time, only to be rudely interrupted by Finn.

"*Sigh* Ais, enough. Can't you see you're disturbing the boy? Just let me handle this from here" Finn sighs as he chastises the impatient and power-hungry blonde, shaking his head at her.

"Okay, sorry..." She lowers her head like a sad puppy at her commander's words.

"Anyways, as you've heard from Ais's question, we're interested in knowing about the alleged Mentor you have, Bell Cranel. His name's Merlin, am I correct?" After chastising his impatient subordinate, Finn meets Bell's surprised eyes once again, flashing a friendly smile and questioning Bell in a calm and gentle tone—intended to lower the recipient's guard.

"Yes, that's right?" Bell nervously responds in the affirmative to Finn's question.

With Bell's confirmation, Finn's gentle smile widens imperceptibly, and his eyes gain a sharper edge.

"Fantastic! Another query, if you don't mind... Would it be correct to assume he's currently inside your home?" Finn questions, a touch of "innocence" in his tone.

"Umm... He is?" Bell responds now both nervous and confused at the purpose of Finn's questions.

'Too easy...' Finn thinks to himself at the easy pickings Bell has proven to be.

"If so, we'd like to speak with him, and see if he'd be willing to negotiate to provide his services, even temporarily for the Loki Familia. We are confident in our resources to pay up whatever he desires." Finn states professionally, as Bell's eyes widen at the rapid-fire and rather business-like statement.

"Hmm... It is an attractive offer..." Merlin hums and states mischievously, his apathetic expression transitioning back to his irritating shit-eating grin.

*Gulp* At Merlin's... Probably? Sarcastic remark and Finn's checkmating move he attempts to blurt out a response.

"Umm... I... He isn't... Huh-" He blabbers and mixes his words and thought processes as he attempts to divert the question and lie, unable to form any proper sentence. Luckily for him though something cuts Bell's words off.

"GET AWAY FROM BELL-KUN WHATCHAMACALLIT!" A high-pitched and furious voice is heard by all of them, snapping them all out of their thought processes, as from the distance their eyes are met with a rapidly approaching... Goddess.

To Bell, she has never looked so graceful, beautiful, gentle, angelic, and divine. Except for the time she saved him and recruited him into her Familia.

To the more sane onlookers though...

A rabid dog that resembles a humanoid, with a face twisted into a protective and dangerous snarl.

Of course, it is non-other than Hestia herself.

"Hmm, so it was option 3 that'll get Bell out of the situation... The Power Of Friendship! *Cough* Plot armor! *Cough* What a convenient excuse! Author you bastard!" Merlin announces in a deranged manner, pointing a claw at the sky as he accuses the Author of coming up with a convenient excuse for Bell to come out of this situation unscathed with majorly important information unextracted. He's not wrong. But there's no need to be rude about it...

*SWOOSH* Arriving at Bell's side like a hero of legend she turns dramatically and looks down? upon the guests. Looming over them and puffing her large chest out in challenge.

"I will not let you nor that flat-chested harlot have my Bell-kun! Ais Whatchamacallit STAY! AWAY!" Hestia threatens with a stick she just picked up from the ground near her, pointing at Ais and Finn, threatening them to keep their distance, barring her teeth in a snarl towards them. Looming protectively over her child.

"Hahaha! Goddess Hestia, there is but a misunderstanding here! We're not here to-" A nervous chuckle escapes Finn as he tries to placate the rabid Goddess, his hands held up in a calming gesture. Of course, his attempt backfires as he is rudely interrupted by the protective Hestia.

"No! Don't lie to me! Mortals can't lie to gods! You're here for something! And that something is Bell-kun! Get out! Shoo! Scram! You'll have him over my dead, cold, divine body!" Hestia announces with an accusing... Stick.

"No, He's from the IRS, the girl's here to lower my guard as well as jail bait. She can't be older than 18, Classic Anime Tactic! "Here's a completely developed-looking adult woman, oh! Did I mention she is 16?!" The scheming bastards! They are here to take both my money, my dignity, and my honor! I say no! Go, Asymmetrical goddess! Show those horrid government agents of evil the error of their ways in my name! For my name is Merlin! A law-abiding Dragon! With morals!" Merlin, back to his deranged self, announces his correct? conclusion at the identity and true purpose of these guests. He points his claw at the evildoers as he cheers on the protective goddess who in her attempt to guard Bell, is consequently also helping the bane of her existence.

At that, Finn's face loses composure momentarily, reclaiming it nigh instantaneously. He is, after all, used to Loki's antics himself. Sort of.

"Again, there is a mis-" He attempts. And his attempt gets foiled once again.

"A-WAY! I won't be repeating myself! You want to talk? Ask questions? Here! Get a formal appointment with me! And we'll talk! For now... Shoo!" Hestia cuts Finn's words off once again, roaring her dismissal of them, as she pulls out a piece of paper she somehow hid in her dress that lacks pockets. The paper at first glance looks like a sales pitch, with a cute hand-drawn Hestia at the bottom of the paper.

-Paper Start-

Brand New And Exclusive!

An Interview With The Amazing Hestia-sama! Patron Goddess Of The Hestia Familia And The Amazing! Cute! Bell-Kun!

I answer all your questions!

Even about the rumored Merlin! That's right!

Is he responsible for my cute Bell-kun's growth?! Find out... In the interview!

Available Times:

Wednesday: 18:00-22:00

Thursday: 18:00-22:00

Friday: 18:00-22:00

Location: Hearth Mansion.

Way Of Submission: Mailbox bidding submission, the Highest Bidding price gets announced on the Announcement wall at the gates of the Hearth Mansion. The bidding wars start on Sunday, and continue until next week. The admissions and interview dates correspond to the week that the bidding war ends.

Get An Appointment Now! Only a Few Spots Remain!

Price: Bidding War for Initial Meeting.

Hourly Price Post Appointment: 1,500,000 Valis. Prices are subject to increase!

Hope to see you there!

Hestia <3

(Hestia Drawing Goes Here) - Drawn by Sanjouno Haruhime

-Paper End-

(DO NOT! ASK WHERE SHE HID THE PAPER! I AM WARNING YOU!)

"W-What is this?" Finn, slack-jawed at the... Financial genius? Of Hestia as he finishes reading through the paper/commercial.

"Hmph! Surprised aren't you? I just came back from submitting these on the announcement boards, since so many people have been going on and on asking me questions! It's gotten annoying! If you want to know! Get in line! And... Pay up! MUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Hestia, astounded by her own genius, laughs maniacally like a Villainess. Having explained the existence of the paper and its purpose of helping the blossoming of her... Interview Business?

"Hmm... That explains that weird announcement board you ordered to be made without any of our input." Merlin states with a grin, as he meets the sapphire-eyed goddess's mischievous and confident look with his own.

Bell, coming out of his grateful stupor at the saving grace of his goddess has his own thoughts regarding his goddess's antics. Having read through the 2nd sheet of paper Hestia lent him, purposely lent to him so he could also marvel at her genius.

'Kami-sama's greed knows no bounds...' Bell does marvel at something. And it's not her genius that's for sure. Rather, he marvels at her greed.

"OK, we'll participate," Ais states confidently and with narrow eyes, as she stares in challenge at the confident and smirking short-stack goddess.

"Ais?" Finn questions having collected himself at Ais's swift acceptance of Hestia's offer/scam.

"It's fine. We'll win." Ais states matter of factly with a gentle smile.

She turns and begins to walk away, not before sending an apologetic and small smile.

"Sorry Bell, see you later" She nods at him as she states her goodbye, continuing to now walk away.

"Bye, Ais-san!" Bell nods as he reciprocates her goodbye with his own.

"*Sigh* Sorry for intruding, seems we'll be participating in this bidding war of yours." Finn sighs as he apologizes for his intrusion with a polite and rather weary smile, turning his back and joining Ais's side as they make their way out of the territory of the Hestia Familia.

"Good luck~!" Hestia shouts gleefully at the distancing duo with a closed eye smile.

Now having left only the 3 of them alone in silence, The filth gives his own input.

"You know, your shrewder than I expected you to be. A pleasant surprise honestly!" Merlin compliments Hestia's shrewdness and finesse with a toothy grin, meeting her now even more arrogant and smug expression as a result of his words, with his own flare of smugness.

"Hmph! Of course! How could you have ever doubted me?" Hestia, her ego now piercing the skies, states with a huff.

"Well, there was that one time, you blindly accepted a quest for us, that had a rather suspicious and disproportionate reward, that lead your precious "Bell-kun" to be on the receiving end of a kidnapping and nearly getting his purity forcibly taken away by the spawn of Shrek And Kermit themselves. Of course, your other children that you fittingly give less of a fuck about in comparison to Bell here were also kidnapped, hurt, and perhaps psychologically damaged. Of course, it all ended up fine so it's okay right? HAHAHHAHAHAHAH!" Merlin brutally and mercilessly dismantles Hestia's high horse, as her soul dies and her gut churns in front of Bell's eyes. A murder happening in front of his eyes.

"Gahhhh!" Having received critical damage Hestia drops to her knees

"Well, can't really blame you for resorting to using intel on us as your bargaining chips in your business scheme! Desperate times call for desperate measures, don't they? What was the debt again? Around 200,000,000 Valis? Yeesh, that's a lot!" Merlin continues with a sadistic smirk and tone.

*SLAM*

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" From her knees to slamming into the ground at the accurate and sharp accusations.

"Merlin-sensei! Stop! She apologized! She didn't think it through! We all forgave her! It's just like you said it all ended up... Okay..." Bell tries to protect Hestia's feelings as he orders Merlin to stop, providing evidence that it's okay and her mistake was salvageable.

"Bell-kun~! Thank you~! ... Bell-kun?" Hestia tearfully rises up as she comes up to hug Bell, only to freeze in her antics as her eyes widen upon meeting Bell's haunted look.

His inability to lie provides clarity towards his inner thoughts. His thoughts, at the reminder of the aforementioned event, force him to remember the agonized and fearful expression on Phyrne's head. The responsibility of her DEATH is upon him and only him. Nightmares of her Death sentence at the hands of Merlin replay almost daily in Bell's mind.

'I... I promised myself I wouldn't let something like this happen ever again.' He shakes his head as he collects himself taking a deep breath.

"I'm alright Kami-sama. I was just reminded of something bad." He smiles weakly, an improvement but a concern nonetheless.

Hestia's expression turns into a worried and gentle expression, she quickly closes the space between them as she hugs the boy to comfort him. His eyes widen and his smile turns sad as he reciprocates her hug tightly.

"Look, Froggy got what was coming for her, she was truly a-" Merlin attempt to dismiss Bell's guilt and trauma by explaining that she deserved it. Of course, his sentence was cut off by a vicious glare from the Goddess that is hugging the boy.

The hugging was silent and it continued for about a minute. As onlookers merely glanced for a moment and simply moved on with their activities.

"Thank you Kami-sama, I'm alright now," Bell states as he breaks off his arms from the hugging Goddess.

She isn't having any of it.

"Umm, Kami-sama? It's okay? You can let go now." He states simply.

No response. But the hug tightens

"KAMI-SAMA YOU CAN LET GO NOW?!!?!" Bell yells aloud in a panic as he tries to shake off the Goddess.

"Watch and learn my hormone-fueled student! I'm not doing this out of the kindness of my heart! I have a debt to pay!" Merlin states in a tone radiating pure wisdom.

*SLAP* A resounding slap echoes through the street and the gate of the Hearth Mansion.

*DROP* Hestia drops on the ground, cheek beet red with a paw mark, falling unconscious from the sheer force of the blow.

Bell, slack-jawed at the... Brutal dispatching of Hestia shakes his head to renew his composure.

He silently walks to pick up Hestia's unconscious body and moves towards the inside of the Mansion, passing the gate, throwing a furious glare at the enigmatic Dragon, stating a furious and simple question to him.

"Why?" Bell questions with a threatening edge, lack of patience, and irritation.

"Scary~! Anyways! It's payback for that... "Gift" she got me when I came back here following that Foxy Hoe saga! I've never felt so insulted in a thousand years!" Merlin explains with a faux fearful expression, smoothly transitioning it to a pissed and scandalized one. Pointing a claw at the unconscious body of the Goddess.

"*Sigh* You're still mad about that? I thought you made it okay?" Bell questioned tiredly, having now made their way into the Mansion's entrance door.

"Not really no. I just needed an excuse to slap her up again." Merlin states simply, with a shrug of his shoulders.

At Merlin's words and pointless violence, a momentary silence envelops them, broken only by Bell's words.

*CREEK* The Mansion's door opens

"I'm going to be ignoring you now." Bell states with finality, leaving no room for argument.

"Fair enough." Merlin responds with a dumb nod of his draconic head.

*SLAM* The door is closed with an unnecessary amount of force.

Bell, now intent on moving towards Hestia's bedroom to lay her down so she could properly... Recover.

To be Continued!

-Author Note Start-

Well, would you look at that? Hestia seems to have saved the day! And also found a way to make money out of the demand for Merlin and Bell-related information! How shrewd!

Sorry for the shorter chapter! As I've mentioned I'll be compensating by releasing 2 more chapters in the next 2 days! So be hyped for that!

I won't be spoiling much. The next chapter will be a short chapter, focused on the dynamics of the Familia post Arc 1, and the supposed GIFT, Hestia got for Merlin.

The chapter following that one will be... Focused on Mikoto, Lili and Welf! That's right! The 3 Hestiateers are getting a whole chapter or chapters dedicated to them and their development!

Again, comments, reviews, ideas, suggestions, etc... would provide me more motivation to write and would be a good way to show your appreciation! I'll be happy and thankful to receive them! Constructive criticism would be the most appreciated as I won't be able to improve without knowing what my mistakes are! Goodbye for now my lovely beautiful readers, have a fantastic rest of the week/day!

-Author Note End-