41 Back to Earth

"Okay… It was probably a bad idea to spend some time sorting things out on Almerac after Darkseid stretched the peace summit out for months with ever increasingly obscure traditions and rituals. God, when we spent weeks hunting down pairs of celestial swans so everyone could swear they came with the intention of actually seeking peace it should have wreaked more of a set up…"

"You've been gone for six months." Batman interrupted my rambling.

"You'd think that you of all people would have been happy that the alien overlords were gone for so long." I fired back at the man.

"You were lured off world and Superman was killed…" Batman started before I cut him off.

"I am aware that you fought against an adaptive immortal with no known limit, you had no means of defeating it, and that is a true testament to your courage…" I told the assembled League

"And now you have the powers of that adaptive immortal," Batman interrupted again, so fucking rude but so the right call as allowing someone their time to speak and frame the narrative can be the worst mistake of all, "and I am willing to bet that isn't the only thing your sons took away from that battle."

I popped wolverine claws and chuckled, "Well of course, why would I leave anything on the table, Bruce. This aspect of the godhead seeks to become the ultimate lifeform."

"Why?" Batman growled, "You've stockpiled power constantly since you came to this universe, never missing a chance for more like an addict. What could you possibly need it all for?"

"Do you think meekness is a virtue, Bruce?" I eyed the man, "It is not. Restraint is a virtue."

"Power corrupts." Batman countered.

"Power grants choice." I rebutted, "The corruption is already in the person. Power just allows them to act on it. To be more of who they already were."

"Okay, that's enough, you two." Green Arrow jumped in, "I swear every time you guys are in the same room we turn into a debate club. Like you guys are walking talking opposing viewpoints. And it never gets anywhere because you are always both right. Can we just get to the matter of all the new Superman knockoffs."

"That does seem like a very prudent topic." I agreed with man.

"Hmmmm… another time then." Batman threw in the towel.

"Okay. Good." Oliver cleared his throat, "So we now have a Superboy. A Super-Cyborg. A Super-Iron Man, and a Super-Hard Ass… I guess. I don't know what the deal is with the new Superman with the visor and the hand beams, but he goes way too hard on crime for someone with that much power under the hood."

I gave Batman the evil eye when Ollie said that.

Restraint is a virtue, bitch.

"So we have four guys running around in Superman's look and you guys have been focusing on your orbital station rather than finding out who they are? I could have had that built and in space over a long lunch." I admonished the League.

"We are aware of your fabrication capabilities, Markus, but like the rest of the world we are hesitant to simply turn everything over to you." Wonder Woman stated.

"A dozen countries have replaced their governments with Grayson Fundamentalism, and now the top ten list of best places to live in the world all used to be at the bottom. How much longer is it going to be before the First World countries decide they are tired of playing second fiddle to the guys they used to be able to ignore? A handful of years, a decade? Jesus is going to need to do a comeback tour to stop me now." I smiled, "And I haven't even forced anyone to do anything yet. Progress baby."

"So about Almerac." One of the League's new pickups, Icon, sounded, "What exactly were you doing there?"

"Showing them that you don't need a brutal eugenics program to maximize the genetic potential of a species. Just need some Symbiotes and about a day to catalog the population and crunch out a genetic therapy treatment plan that elevates everyone, rather than just those who survive their barbaric breeding trials." I answered.

"Aww shit." Icon cursed, "The people of Almerac sucked as neighbors before you powered them up."

"I'm going to stop you right there, Terminan, the people of Almerac converted to Grayson Fundamentalism." I corrected the man's admittedly decent deduction.

"You converted a whole planet?" Flash gaped in shock.

"Sure did." I grinned, "You'd be shocked how many monocultures their are out in space just praying for deliverance. Got my eye currently on Tamaran and Thanagar. The Citadel and Gordanians have them on the ropes, and I just so happen to be the finest cornerman in the universe."

"You know about the Gordanians?" Hawkwoman gasped.

"Yeah." I nodded, "I can see beyond the confines of this universe, it's safe to assume I know all about the hell hole that is the Vega System and just how far those cretins can reach. The Universe would be a better place if I just… took an extra enthusiastic walk over there."

"And the price for your aid against the Gordanians is to convert to 'Grayson Fundamentalism'?" Hawkman questioned.

"EZPZ, my man. You all convert to the worship of me and you'll have the Gordanians by the balls by dinner." I laughed, "Better move quick though, the hour of Thanagar's fall draws near."

The pair stood and left the conference without another word.

"And another one gone, and another one gone, and another one bites the dust~!" I sang as my precognitive sight showed me a world of winged people kneeling at my feet.

____________________________________________________________________________

"I'm the coolest X-Man!" Jon shouted as he popped bladed bones from between his knuckles and struck a pose.

"No! I'm the coolest X-Man!" Adar yelled as he popped claws and struck a pose.

"You fools! Obviously I am the coolest X-Man!" Ademar roared as he popped claws and struck a pose.

"My sons, worry not. For I, your father, am the coolest X-Man!" I announced as I popped claws and struck a pose.

"You know what this means?" Adar growled as he shifted his eyes across us.

"THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!" Ademar screamed and we all joined in before brutally carving into each other with Wolverine claws, turning the water around us a deep red.

The nearby sharks swam away in fear as we erupted into a whirlwind of violence, tearing each other apart over and over again for fun.

When the blood cleared, we knew for sure that yet again we had no idea who was the coolest X-Man among us. But we'd find out or the boys would grow bored of it. Whichever came first.

"Dad." Jon got my attention as we chewed some post fight sea urchin, "What are we going to do about Mar-L?"

I put a hand on Jon's shoulder and gave him a smile, "I'll talk to his mom, try to work through whatever it is that's got her keeping him to herself, and we'll see how he fits into this family."

"What if he doesn't?" Jon asked.

"Like if he's a natural born asshole?" I looked at the little guy for a tell.

"No, he's cool." Jon insisted.

"Then there's nothing to worry about." I laughed then stopped abruptly, "Except his mother. She might be a problem, but hey. I've got a plan for that."