Chapter2

#Chapter2

I struggled to open my heavy eyes lids. They were low and swollen, puffy from all the tears I have shed.

Morning had arrived, and it felt as though I was preparing for another awful day. Reaching over to the bedside nightstand, I picked up my cell phone and unlocked it.

Nothing.

I laid back and stared up at the white high ceiling. I mentally cursed myself, blaming myself for the life I secretly introduced to my mother without her acknowledgement.

I felt awful. I felt useless. I felt like the only thing I could do was sit here and cry and panic until Jason find her. I hate it!

Lightly knocking on the door, Jess walked in after I yelled for her to enter. She closed the door with ease before she dragged herself over to me, taking a seat at the end of my bed.

/"Hey./"

/"Hey./" It was hard to give a genuine smile with such hurt coursing through me.

I brought my knees up to my chest, leaning my chin against my knees as I cringed through the silence. She crawled across the bed and lay beside me.

/"I don’t know what to do./" My eyes began to water as I held back the desperate need to release my inner emotions. Jess leaned against my arm as water began to stain my cheeks.

/"Me neither./"

****

/"Princess?/"

I pulled the comforter over me, rolling over to block the sun from my face and ignore Jason's desperate attempts to get my attention.

/"Princess?/"

My muffled moans yelled from under the blankets, urging him to leave me alone. I was still so exhausted.

/"Aniyah./" He yanked the comforter back, my face burning from the scorching sun rays that beamed into the window. The sun could have fooled anyone. Fall was quickly approaching, but the sun would have never told you that until you stepped outside.

/"What?/"

/"Get dressed./"

/"No./" I did not want to get up. I did not want to get dressed. I did not want to hear, see, know about anything if it did not pertain to my mother and her where bouts.

I began to feel sick again with bitterness.

I folded into a ball, burying my face from the light and Jason. I hate this. I hate this feeling.

/"I need you to get up. Now./" The bed moved, informing me he had stood. I heard nothing until the bathroom door creaked open then the shower faucets squeaked. Water poured from the shower head, splashing onto the tiled shower floor.

A warm hand grabbed me, unraveling me from my fetus position. He forced me to look at him. I could see his eyes narrow then soften when he took a good look at me.

/"Go get cleaned up. Then meet me in my office./"

I almost wanted to snatch away from him then lay back down, but when I looked at him, I could see such concern written across his face. He was scared for me. Finding the energy to get up, I stood to my feet and dragged myself to the bathroom.

I removed my clothing and grabbed a new body sponge from the bathroom closet. I opened the glass door and stepped into the steamed filled shower. I popped open a bottle of body wash and massaged it into my sponge. I inhaled deeply as I began washing myself, my nasal passages opening fully as the steam and scent filled my nose.

I tried my best to fill my mind with empty thoughts, but it was too hard. I stepped further into the shower. I allowed the water to rid my body of the soap and wash away the inevitable tears that always came.

Finishing up, I cut the faucets off, dried off, and then proceeded into my bedroom. Walking over to my closet, I pulled my underwear from the small drawer. I then pulled a pair of acid-washed jeans, knee high black boots, and a black wool sweater. Dressing slowly, I carelessly tied my hair up into a high messy bun.

I walked out. I walked down the quiet corridors until I made it to his office. I opened the door. A few pack members were there. They turned to look at me. Their eyes were low. Their faces read sorrow and sympathy as they searched my face.

/"Good afternoon?/" I mumbled softly.

Jason quickly dismissed them from the room as I took a seat across from him.

/"How are you feeling?/" His tone was low. I could hear how he almost regrets actually asking because deep down, he knew the answer to that question.

/"Fine./" I whispered. Is that the answer he was searching for? Is that what he wanted to know? I gave him the lie he desired.

Someone knocked on the door. I refused to turn and look at the door. He urged them to come in. The door creaked open. I looked. Jess?

/"What’s up? What’s going on?/" I asked, my eyes shifting from Jess to Jason.

/"Here./" He slid a black piece of plastic across his wooden desk. /"Jess, I want you to take her out./"

/"What?/"

/"I want her.../" He pointed to Jess. /"And you./" He pointed to me. /"To get out for a moment./"

/"Wait. Who said I even wanted to leave?/"

I could see how badly I frustrated him but he could not allow his anger the opportunity to take charge. He decided to be patient with me, despite my unmanageable behavior and slick tongue.

/"Aniyah./"

He sighed as he massaged his temples to calm himself.

/"Please. For me, /" he pleaded.

I don’t want to go. I want to be here. I want to know what is going on. I want to make sure things are going good. Who am I kidding? I can’t really 'take charge' when I’m wrapped up in my blankets sobbing my eyes out.

I reached for the card and stuffed it into my pocket. I will go. Get out. On one condition.

/"If there is anything, ANYTHING, I want to be informed. Okay?/"

/"Promise./" He nodded in agreement to my terms.

I shot him one more venomous glare before I followed Jess out of his office and out of the glooming house.