Chapter 3: Ambivalence

“Wasn’t that weird?” Piper queried again.

“Yes,” was all Jackson offered.

Piper rolled her blue eyes. “Ugh, you don’t even know what I’m talking about.”

Jackson was scrolling through his phone. Looked to be his Instagram based on the reflection in his sunglasses Piper noticed.

They were waiting for their lunch while taking in the last warm days.

“Yes, I do. The same thing you said was weird the last so many times since we left the store.”

Piper crossed her arms and said nothing.

Jackson looked up over his glasses and let out a defeated sigh.

Putting down his phone, he reached across the patio table and grabbed her hands.

“I know this brings up a lot of stuff.”

Piper felt her eyes start to tear up as Jackson continued.

“And yes, like I said before, it was weird. But then again, we knew she’d be out and it would happen eventually.”

“But why did she have to come back here?” Piper looked up, tears starting to peek out from her sunglasses.

Jackson kept one hand on hers and moved the other to push a stray of golden hair out of her eyes.

“You know why she is here. She had nowhere else to go and has to serve her probationary period here.”

“Ok, can you just stop being so rational for a moment?” Piper let a small laugh escape as she wiped her eyes. “I know, I just wanted to be upset for a moment was all.”

“I get it,” Jackson reassured her as he went back it lounging in his seat.

‘You don’t though,’ Piper thought as she watched him pick back up his phone. ‘This is why girls need girls.’

She knew he wasn’t a jerk. Jackson just didn’t understand the type of feelings that were brought up by seeing Autumn today. How could he?

They were all best friends once, it was true, but Autumn had been her best friend in the whole world. Yet, Piper couldn’t help but slightly envy Autumn towards the end of their friendship. That was until the night she went to prison of course.

After that all happened, Piper couldn’t’ really remember why she had been jealous of her so-called ‘best’ friend. She had never let herself really dwell on it either, but now… now it was right in her face.

Piper looked back at Jackson, thankfully she at least had him and the group still. Autumn had nothing. She knew it shouldn’t, but a little part of Piper couldn’t help but smile at that.

“What’s so funny?” Jackson asked.

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking about things,” she replied, knowing he’d accept the dismissal.

“Look, food’s here.”

***

Piper waited for Jackson to unlock the door as she held the grocery bags.

There was a shout that seemed to echo down the street.

Turning her head to get a better look, she saw a truck full of people head down the road.

“Well they’re ready to roll tonight,” Piper scoffed as she walked past Jackson.

“Probably heading over to the O’Meere’s Place I’d guess.”

“What? Why?”

Jackson stared at her for a second.

“For the party that Mrs. O’Meere invited us to?”

Piper set the groceries on the counter. ‘Of course they are,’ “I’m sure everyone is.”

“What?”

She hadn’t realized she had said the last part out loud. Putting the groceries away became a sudden priority.

Piper could still feel Jackson watching her.

“Babe, do you want to go?”

She tried to laugh, but it ended up making her sound hysterical.

“Why would I want to go to that?”

Jackson continued staring at her.

Piper crossed her arms. “What, do you want to go?”

She didn’t want to be that jealous person, she usually wasn’t.

“You want to see Autumn again, don’t you?”

“Piper, stop,” Jackson raised his hand. “She was one of our best friends. We never even saw her when she got locked up. Don’t you feel the tiniest bit guilty?”

She had in the beginning just out of guilt but Piper had had time to think about it. She didn’t feel guilty. In fact, she felt nothing really.

Piper shrugged and looked at a speechless Jackson.

That’s when she felt guilty.

“Ugh,” she groaned, tilting her head back. “OK, we should go. At least to support Vanessa.”

Jackson smiled in return, kissed her cheek and finished putting the groceries away.

It wasn’t fair to expect Jackson, or any of the others to not be curious about Autumn. Piper was just hoping that the stain of prison would be enough to satisfy her disdain.

Piper knew that even thinking this, she felt like a villain. She wanted to not feel this way, but an insecure part she thought had been locked away was starting to poke its voice back into her head.

As she watched Jackson finish up, she smiled.

He loved Piper, she had to believe in that. They had been through so much together. Nothing could replace that.

Piper and him had grown closer a year after the incident. Now, they shared a little apartment together and have nothing but honesty and love between them.

“Ready babe?” Jackson asked, picking the keys back up from the counter.

“Let me run to the bathroom real quick,” Piper responded, heading to the bathroom.

“Good call,” came Jackson’s typical come-back.

Piper shut the door and took a deep breath, heading to the toilet.

After a moment, she decided it was just nerves. Piper washed her hands and looked in the mirror.

She was beautiful, she knew that. It wasn’t her being conceited; it was just a simple fact. Golden blonde hair with hints of brown that fell past her shoulders. Blue eyes and golden skin. Well, now but even in the winter with her fair, pale skin, Piper’s features always popped. It also helped that she had hips and long legs for her 5’9” frame.

Piper didn’t feel ashamed to admire herself every now and then. It brought her power it seemed. Confidence.

Wiping away a flake of mascara, Piper took one more deep breath and flipped off the light.

‘I’m in control,’ she told herself.

Her man was waiting by the door and she smiled at him. He lazily smiled back at her and Piper went tilted her head up and kissed him hard.

Jackson was definitely caught off guard.

He stumbled against the door, letting it catch him.

Piper kept kissing him, darting her tongue in, teasing his tongue with hers.

She knew Jackson was well aware of what she wanted.

Piper moved her tongue and lips to his jaw. Her mouth found the jawline and bit softly.

Jackson let out a slight moan as she felt his jeans harden against her thigh.

She couldn’t blame him. Piper was pressed snuggly against his strong frame and stroking his ego. Jackson just didn’t know that hers was being stroked as well.

Piper ran her fingers down his sides and hooked her fingers into the front of his pants and pulled.

Jackson kicked the front door shut, smiled and gladly let her lead him to the bedroom.

***

Piper finished layering back up by flipping her scarf around her neck. Walking out the front door, Jackson smacked her ass when she passed.

“Babe!”

“What?” he asked, locking up the house.

“It stings when it’s this cold out!” Piper exclaimed, holding her butt as she walked to the pick-up.

“Oh, stop being a baby,” he laughed, kissing her on the temple as she climbed in.

Piper said nothing as he shut her door and walked to the driver’s side.

“And we’re off.”

Piper said nothing. Looking out the window, she kept telling herself, ‘You’re in control.’

***

They pulled up to the O’Meere’s place and saw the driveway lined with vehicles.

“Well, it looks like everyone decided to show up,” Piper scoffed.

Jackson turned off the vehicle and looked at her.

“Do you want to go?”

Piper looked into his hazel eyes. She knew he meant it.

“No. No, we are here now. Let’s at least go say hi.”

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Piper looked over at Jackson as they approached the heat-filled garage. Could he not hear her heart beating out of her chest?

Thump. Thump.

She looked down to see if you could at least see how hard her heart was pumping. Her coat remained motionless and her heart felt like it was trying to break free.

Jackson was saying hello to people as they walked in.

Piper wanted to find Vanessa right away so everyone could see that she was welcomed here. It felt like all of the guests were staring at her.

She figured it was all in her head, but then again, it was a small town.

Everyone ‘knew’ everyone and what they had gone through.

Piper was her to support her boyfriend and Vanessa, that was it. She didn’t need to explain herself any more than that.

Jackson leaned into Piper’s ear. “You know, a lot of these people believe she is guilty.”

“A lot of people do. That’s why she went to prison.”

“You know what I mean, Piper. I’d bet most are here to be able to have a story to tell at the bar later about the talks they had with Autumn or her mom.”

“Everyone wants to be the source,” Piper said in disgust.

Jackson laughed. “You’re not wrong.”

She finally spotted Vanessa pouring a beer from the kegerator.

Mrs. O’Meere pushed the handle closed and saw Piper.

“Piper! You came, I am so happy you did.”

Vanessa spilled slightly as she embraced Piper and then Jackson.

“We didn’t want to disappoint you,” Piper smiled.

“I’m glad. I know it’s been hard on you dear, but maybe if you and Autumn could visit-“ Vanessa shrugged her shoulders, leaving the rest unsaid.

Piper let out a reluctant smile.

“Maybe.”

“So, Mrs. O’Meere, how many people here are here solely to get the inside scoop?” Jackson broke in.

Piper gave him a disapproving look, but Vanessa was unphased.

“Probably a good sum. But I’ll put them right out if they harass my daughter about her time.”

Piper loved how loyal Vanessa acted towards her children, but she also knew it was all talk. Vanessa would never really do that. She would just cause a scene until people were uncomfortable and left.

“But people are wrongly convicted all of the time,” Jackson continued. “Maybe they are hoping Autumn can confirm whatever it is they think they know.”

“And what is it that they think they know?”

Piper’s heart lodged itself in her throat.

She and Jackson spun around.

Autumn was standing there with a solo cup in one hand. An amused smile was on her face until she saw who her mom had been talking to.

“Autumn! Look who came!” Vanessa shouted as she cut through Piper and Jackson to put an arm around her daughter.

Autumn and Piper looked at each other and then both quickly focused on something else.

“Hey guys, I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Well, it was actually Piper’s idea that we should stop by,” Jackson said, winking at Piper.

She could see the surprise in Autumn’s eyes and slight disbelief. Yet, she seemed to accept it.

“I thought you guys had other plans?” Autumn asked.

“No, we decided we’d spend some time here. It’s been too long.” Jackson softly punched Autumn in the arm.

She smiled at Jackson and Piper almost blew a fuse.

“You’re right.” Autumn hugged Jackson and then went to hug Piper.

Vanessa was watching the whole exchange with a tear in her eye.

Piper knew Autumn was doing this for Vanessa and Piper would too.

She hugged Autumn back with an awkward pat on the back. She was hoping it would be enough to satisfy Vanessa.

When Piper tried to pull away, Autumn held onto her arm.

“Actually, since you guys are staying for a little bit, can I talk to you…alone, Piper?”

Piper tried not to falter, but she was caught off guard.

“Oh, uh, sure,” she answered, smiling weakly back.

Autumn smiled even bigger as she turned to the other two. “We’ll be right back.” She started to lead her away.

Piper looked back at Jackson who was already busy talking to someone else.

“Let’s go somewhere we won’t be interrupted,” Autumn mumbled, never letting go of Piper’s arm.