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Insane guy with a system through the multiverse

I OWN NOTHING BUT MY OCs ALL RIGHTS TO CHARACTERS GO TO THE ONES THAT CREATED THEM AND IF YOU WANT YOUR ART TAKEN DOWN JUST TELL ME IN A COMMENT HELLO I am a much new author, and as you will see I am also a not very good one. Like no sympathy here I am writing this out of sheer boredom and will not give two shish kabobs about grammar even though English is my first language. As you probably have inferred by now this is wish fulfillment and thus will be about what I want it to be about. Having said that, I do want to make this an enjoyable reading experience so if you want to see something comment and IF I see it I will tell you if I will add it or not. Otherwise o’course my naming sense is hot garbage so sometimes I will run names over y’all and pick the one that was commented the most. I repeat I will pick the one that was COMMENTED the most NOT the most liked!!!! MC characteristics: The MC will be VERY dumb at times as I my self am just inserting me as the ‘protagonist’. MC might do very ‘Fuged up’ stuff. I ain't no saint and I am a tad crazy compared to the larger portion of people. I am increasingly paranoid and it impacts my daily life constantly, which has obviously led to a weird mental state. This might mean that the MC will laugh at someone dying if he finds it funny, or see something that isn’t there. An example of finding something funny would be if he chopped off someone’s D with a fan, or froze someone to death while they were midspeach. I don’t like making things too ‘edgy’ as it feels like it makes everything too dramatic so don’t expect that. Last I am writing this with the thought in mind of anything goes this is with a warhammer system so expect F upped things to happen. MC can get enslaved or raped but also do those things to. That having been said, I will try to keep things light hearted and make any enemies deserve what they get coming to them SO… DISCLAIMER: LESS THAN 100% OF INNOCENTS IN THE NOVEL WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS NOVEL!!!! Of course this could entirely be a useless section of the novel if I just don’t do anything with it but better safe than sorry. Without further ado let’s a GO “Life……sucks at the moment” said a random soul that may or may not have just accidentally gotten himself stuck in the previous times of all reality. This was a dark part of the multiverse that none have traveled to for quite some time, but coincidentally on the way to the afterlife the soul got bored and decided to take a detour. “No s***!” it says to itself in rage “Not rage, disappointment” It said as it corrected the disembodied voice. The disembodied voice decided to make a very polite gesture to show its gratitude for being corrected by a mere mortal soul. “That’s Nick to you ya c***!” It yells trying desperately to be something other than a disappointment. Nick: DISAPPOINTMENT? Bro I just drove 500mph off the side of a cliff in a car that I STOLE from the PRESIDENT of the US of A into a rocket AFTER stealing half a billion in pure gold! AND I’M EVI—--. Never mind yeah you right I probably just broke the economy… … oh well! Voice: see you are garbage :3 Nick: Ok. That’s it! I’m gonna beat you like my *** **** **!!!! Voice: wait! Wait!! WAIT!!! LET’S TALK!!!!! TRUCE!!!!!!!!!TRUCE!!!!!! AAAAHHHH HHHH HHHHHHGHHn G HHAa~ *other death noises* There they were two completely opposite entities beating the ever living crap out of each other just because one made fun of the other‘s death. I don’t know honesty for the story of the universal arsonist extraordinaire; this is a pretty pleasant beginning. Warning This story contains lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots probably lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots most likely lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots of violence. SO ENJOY!!!!

TheCheeseCat · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
10 Chs

Chapter 4

Nick 1: 'Wakie, Wakie, eggs and fuckin bakie.'

???: 'five more minutes please.'

Nick 1: 'Sorry, I would normally agree with you, but you are the one in control of the body right now brother.'

Wrench (Nick 2): 'So what we just died so let me sleep'

Nick 1: 'What? We didn't die, just you and Nick 3 were destroyed somehow when I woke up.'

Wrench: 'What do you mean what? Do you not remember how that God tried to soul rape us?'

Nick 1: 'No not particularly, as soon as the system integration started, I passed out then we ended up here'

Wrench: 'Explaining would take too much effort that I don't want to give right now so just use your imagination.'

Nick: 'How kind of you, but I would still like to remind you that you are the one in control right now so if you would kindly, *deep breath*, WAKE UP MORON, that would be awesome'

Wrench: "OW shut up!" 'I get it, I get it, no need to give us a headache!'

Flask: "I didn't even say anything, what did I do?"

Wrench: "Not you the other guy."

Aial: "What?"

Wrench: "Not you either, the other other guy! *sigh* never mind just forget what I said"

Flask: "There is no other guy other than us, who are you talking to?"

Wrench "I said to forget what I said you numbskull."

Flask: "Okay, fine but you just woke everyone up so congratulations for being a nuisance to society."

Wrench: "It was about sending a message."

As Wrench was bickering with Flask the other three members of their 'society' woke up due to the ever-increasing noise. This made them mildly annoyed as being woken up by two idiots yelling is not one of the nicest ways to start your day.

Daar: "Glad you see you're not depressed from getting enslaved."

Wrench: "Oh I'm plenty depressed just not from that."

Daar: "Well just don't let that get in your way when you are fighting against someone in the pit."

Wrench: "Speaking of the pit, how did all of you get here in the first place?"

As Wrench looked around, he could see that everyone in the cart was shifting uncomfortably, showing that their stories were probably not the happiest things in the world. After a mental tug of war between the other four members of the cart the first one to concede was Ithil starting in a low hush.

Ithil: "I was born a wood elf into a small common folk family; we didn't have much but we made use of what was given to us."

Nick/Wrench: "SHUT UP, NO, PLEASE STOP!"

Ithil: "Even with what we were given we were happy, we lived out our lives with what little we had, and that was enough for happiness."

Nick: "I am in pain because of you! Stop talking, shut up nooooooooooooooo!"

Ithil: *looks hurt* "Until that fateful day, that day my life would never recover. Even though we had little people influenced by greed and lust attacked our village taking all we had to offer. The men were killed, and the women taken hostage to be used as nothing more than objects to satiate the madmen's lust…"

Wrench: *Dies from the sheer cringe and unoriginality*

Nick: 'Take me with you, you greedy fuck!'

Ithil: "Except me, I escaped and ran as far as I could hiding for the day that I will take my revenge. Because I came from the ranks of the common folk, I find peace with them. I can find a place to hide, rest, or recuperate among their ranks, that is unless I have shown them hostility. As I went from town to town they would shield me from the law, and those raiders that came searching for escapees. That is until one day that the Harmony of the Vanquished found me and captured me under the pretense that I was a criminal escaping justice. As such I always tried to help those in trouble along with trying to judge people by their actions instead of their past or words. I believe that no one person should get preferential treatment before the law, and that none are above it. However, I may be blind to any shortcomings that I have as I been always focused on my revenge above anything else.

Nick: 'You are the least original person that I have met! What next, you're going to say, "mY aLiNeMeNt iS lAwFuLl gOoD" I mean come on!'

[Skill: Analysis acquired]

____________

Name: Ithil

Alinement: Lawful Good

Class: Barbarian

-Level 2

Race: Wood elf

HP: ???/???

Mana: N/A

Stamina: ???/???

Str: 5

Dex: 3

Vit: 5

Wis: 1

Int: 1

Cha: 6

Skills: <Booming blade LV 1 <active>, Rage LV2 <active>, Darkvision, Danger sense LV?>

Languages: <Elf, Common, Orc>

[Remarks: Other than being a standard barbarian why does she know Orc?]

__________________________

Wrench: '...'

Nick: '...'

Wrench: 'We got a skill because of how basic she is.'

While Nick and Wrench started dissing her mentally on how basic she was, the other three members started consoling her. At this point she was broken down in tears which Nick noticed, and then dissed her on because she couldn't even play out her class's role of being an immovable wall that people could rely on.

Daar: "How about I go next to get our minds in a more stable space."

Seeing that nobody disagreed she started talking about her backstory to the group, it was also at that moment Nick saw that the wrap put on her mouth was broken.

Wrench: 'Am I going to be the only one to point out that she could break us out of here right now?'

Nick: 'Yes, now shut up because it's story time!'

Daar: "I came from a tribe of dragonborn that all worshiped the ice dragon Vala who rested in the mountains to the north of our village. One day when Vala's kin came to the village the Harmony of the Vanquished raided the settlement and started capturing our people. Their aim was for Vala's kin but many of our tribe's warriors protected the little one including me. We put up a valiant fight and eventually pushed back the raiders who retreated with the captured soldiers. I and a few others ran after them, but it was a trap and those with me were all captured."

Nick: "That was very valiant of you! You should be proud of yourself for trying to rescue your tribesmen to the end."

Daar: "I thank you, but I need no sympathy for what I have done."

Nick: "Noted"

Aial: "Well if I am next I shall–Bla bla bla"

Unfortunately for Aial, Wrench was so bored from the previous two backstories that he decided to save his energy for Flask's as this was one that he actually cared about. However, Nick at least wanted to know a little about him before they would start killing each other.

Nick: '[Analysis]'

____________

Name: Aial

Alinement: Neutral Evil

Class: Blood hunter

-Level 3

Race: Aarakocra

HP: ???/???

Mana: ???/???

Stamina: ???/???

Str: ?

Dex: ?

Vit: ?

Wis: 3

Int: ?

Cha: 6

Skills: <Curse of blinding LV ? <active>, Crimson rite LV ? <active>, ??? LV ?, ??? LV ?>

Languages: <Aarakocra, Auran, Common>

[Remarks: Maybe you shouldn't piss this guy off.]

__________________________

Wrench: 'This dude has been lying through his teeth since he got here! How did they get their hands on this dude?'

Nick: 'There is a genuine possibility that this dude is hired as an executioner of sorts for people that are about to earn their freedom from the gladiatorial pits.'

Nick: '[Analysis]'

____________

Name: Daar

Alinement: Neutral good

Class: Paladin

-Level 2

Race: Dragonborn

HP: ???/???

Mana: ???/???

Stamina: ???/???

Str: 6

Dex: 3

Vit: 4

Wis: 4

Int: 2

Cha: 5

Skills: <Divine sense LV 1 <active>, Breath attack LV 2 <active>, Healing hands LV 1, Ceremony LV 1, Detect Magic LV 1, Thunderous Smite LV 2>

Languages: <Draconic, Common, Gith>

[Remarks: Not bad for a LV 2 that does not have cheats like you.]

__________________________

Wrench: 'Not bad, but finally let's look at Flask. [Analysis]'

____________

Name: Flask

Alinement: Chaotic good

Class: Fighter

-Level 2

Race: Tabaxi

HP: ???/???

Mana: ???/???

Stamina: ???/???

Str: 6

Dex: 4

Vit: 6

Wis: 4

Int: 3

Cha: 2

Skills: <Second wind LV 2 <active>, Defend LV 2 <active>, Sprint LV 1, Quick attack LV 1>

Languages: <Common>

[Remarks: Only knows common? That's interesting.]

__________________________

Nick: 'System for the future separate skills and magic abilities.'

[Will do but the system would like to remind the hosts that it is not technically a system yet as you still have 3-4 days before that]

Wrench: '100% forgot about that fact'

Flask: "That was very interesting. Aial you are a very courageous person."

Nick: 'Good to know that we didn't miss anything important/honest.'

Aial: "You flatter me, but what about you."

Flask: "Well my story starts when—*BUMP*"

As Flask was about to start with his introduction the guard opened the wooden window letting a flash of light inside.

Guard: "We are here"

As the cover on the cart is taken off by guards Nick and Wrench finally get to see the outside for the first time in 1 and a half days.

Nick: 'Now THIS is the start of an adventure!'

(A/N Honestly meant for this chapter to go longer but it is 2:30 AM and I am tired so this is what will be published)