Chapter 7

"Hey, you okay?"

I looked up at Charlie's voice, seeing her dressed in her cute bunny pajamas, a concerned look in her eyes. I don't know how long I'd been sitting in the same position, wondering what I was supposed to do next. Tylor replied to my message saying he'd come see me on the weekend, and I'd been avoiding Kian all day. He didn't try to contact me either, which is expected, I guess.

"Maggie..." she prodded again, sounding a bit more worried.

I sighed, welcoming the concern. I think I could use some comfort. "Charlie, I messed up."

"What happened?"

I'd only known the girl a week, but there wasn't anyone else I could talk to about this. I felt like I would explode if I held it in any longer. So I told her what happened, leaving out the fact that we'd dated in the past. Maybe I just didn't want to be judged anymore, or seem worse than I already did. Charlie listened patiently, nodding her head as I spoke.

"So, do you have feelings for Kian?" she asked when I was done.

I looked down, playing with the hem of my bedsheet, "I think I've always had lingering feelings for him, but it was fine as long as I didn't see him. Actually spending time with him completely messed with my head." I wanted to blame the alcohol too, but I knew that wasn't an excuse.

"So you like him..." she thought to herself for a bit, before she spoke again. "and what about Tylor?"

"It's not that I don't like him... I just," I didn't know how to explain it, but I tried my best, "I like Tylor, but... I don't think it's quite in the same way I like Kian. I feel safe with Tylor, secure in the sense that I know he'll never hurt me. Kian on the the other hand... he's hurt me so much in the past, but I still loved him. Maybe nothing's changed."

She looked me over in sympathy, "I'm sure you know what the right thing to do is, so I'll spare you the lecture," she smiled before continuing, "but I think you need to think carefully before you make any more rash decisions, yeah? It doesn't only affect you."

I stayed silent, taking in her words. I'd been selfish, I knew that, but I still wanted someone to pity me and comfort me like you would a child who's made an innocent mistake. I was nowhere near innocent, and the fact that I wanted to wallow in self pity just made me feel worse.

I was the worst.

"Why don't you sleep on it?" Charlie chimed, probably reading my expression.

"I think I'll do that..." I mumbled only loud enough for her to hear.

Charlie's eyes lingered on me a second longer, but she must've not known what to say, only giving me a supportive smile in the end. I couldn't even bring myself to smile back, so I just laid down on my back, staring at the cracks in the ceiling.

The consistent hum of Charlie's table fan slowly lulled me to sleep, but not before I had the chance to think harder about the choices I wanted to make.

I fell asleep, knowing what I needed to do.