You can't imagine the relief I felt when I walked into my house. I swear this day was definitely the longest day of my life. Having to pretend like I'm coping when it's clear that I'm a mess. The stares are getting better I think.
People are getting bored. Slowly but surely Matt's death is becoming yesterday's news. Death is horrible in that way, one day you are here and the next you are gone. You cease to exist if you left no memories on this earth then it will be as if you never existed. I will try my best to make sure he lives on for as long as I can hold his memory in my heart.
I don't know if people on campus forgetting him makes me happy or sad.
Probably both. The worst part was of course the fact that I saw Cameron. Why won't the universe give me a break?
Give Matt back.
I decide to take a long hot shower before eating some microwave food.
I'm too lazy to actually cook a proper meal. I haven't really been active on any social media since Matt died. Kim says his accident has finally stopped trending. I take out my phone to check my messages. I see a missed call from my mom and I have over 600 notifications on Twitter and about 70 on Instagram.
I don't bother reading any of them. Instead, I go to my contacts and dial my mom's number. She picks up after four rings. That is a new record.
"Hi, sweetie!"
Just hearing her voice releases some tension I didn't even know I had.
"Hey, Mom."
"How are you coping? Do you want to take some time off school? Your father and I can send someone to come pick you up."
My mom immediately starts fussing over me. I almost take her up on her offer. I almost tell her to come and get me and take me away from this place, but even I know running away from my problems won't solve anything.
I have to face them face to face and I also won't give up until I prove that Matt didn't kill himself.
"No mom. I'm fine. I have Kim and Luke to keep my mind occupied."
I try to reassure her.
"Gloria I'm your mother. I know when my child is lying to me, but I understand that you want to deal with this in your own way. I know Matt's suicide was unexpected but it will eventually get better."
I suddenly blank out from what she is saying. Even she doesn't understand.
"Sweety, are you still there?"
I realize that I have been quiet for a while now.
"He didn't kill himself, mom."
"But I thought the police said that-" I cut her off before she can finish.
"They are lying. The police are lying!"
I can't stop my voice from sounding desperately defensive.
My mom stays quiet for a while. I hear her sigh on the other end of the call.
"Ria, are you sure you don't want to come home? Even if it's just for a couple of weeks."
The concern that's in her voice feels like a slap on the face. My mom thinks I'm crazy.
I hear the front door open and I look up to see my roommate Lisa walk in. I use that as an excuse to drop the call.
"Listen mom I've got to go. Don't worry about me I'm fine. I love you. Bye!"
I don't even wait for her to reply before I hit the red button. I will show her. She will believe me when I get proof.
They all will.
Lisa just waves at me before going into her room. I swear Lisa hates me sometimes. I remember when she first moved in. We were not best friends or anything but we did get along. Then one day that all changed. I tried being friends with her and she just brushed me off.
Always.
At first, I thought it was all in my head but Kim noticed it too. Whenever she is at home she locks herself up in her room. She avoids me like a bad rash. I gave up trying to be her friend. As long as she cleans around the house then I'm fine. My phone rings again. I sigh My mom probably wants to convince me to go home again.
"Mom I said I'm fine."
I answer without even checking the caller ID.
I frown when I don't get a reply. Not my mom then?
I check to see if the call is still on and it is.
"Hello?"
Again I don't get a reply. I feel goosebumps form on my arm. I panic and quickly end the call. I don't know who is trying to prank me but I'm definitely not laughing. Maybe I should change my number. My phone rings again. This time I check the caller ID
Private number
I debate whether or not I should answer it. I decide not to. I let it ring.
And ring and ring.
The caller doesn't give up. I pick up my phone in frustration.
"Why the hell are you calling me?"
I'm not surprised when I don't get a reply. Only heavy breathing.
"Who are you? What do you want?!"
I try again.
Silence.
This is a sick joke and I'm starting to feel pissed off. I am about to drop the call when I hear something. I almost don't catch it but I swear the person on the other end whispers. It's a low raspy whisper.
"You will find out soon. Very soon."
The caller drops the call before I can ask any more questions. I feel the blood run cold in my veins. I know it's probably just some bored sick twisted person having fun at my expense, but my gut feeling tells me otherwise. I suddenly feel exposed and unsafe in my own home. I quickly go check to see if the door is locked. It is and knowing that provides a little relief. Tomorrow I'm definitely going to change my number just in case.