Omake - Q

I skulked past the knocked out security and into the vulcan high council's storage bunker, carved into a mountain on a barren plateau in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.

What's wrong with these people?

There is literally nothing in sight for miles upon miles except that yellow-orange sandstone, sheer cliffs of it, in fact.

If I didn't have the A.I. to scout this world's every nook and cranny, I wouldn't have even known about this. And even then, the only reason I know is because some vulcan inspection unit had passed through a couple days back and opened up the completely manual failsafe of this locker.

Yup. You heard me right.

The madmen had a doomsday bunker that ws completely manual and analog.

No electronics or nothing.

That's kryptonite for me!

Still at least the basic tactics of knockout gas still worked even if it's architecture stopped me from just portaling into the base exactly where the items I needed were and then portaling out.

I phased through a giant steel door, and entered the massive facility, steps leading down into an antechamber the size of a dozen football fields, holding ships, relief supplies, survival and civilization building implements. And, of course, the nukes of this world, to keep their status as a world power. A supply of Red Matter.

Truly a bunker to rebuild Vulcan again if they needed to.

So much for trusting their allies, though.

I chuckled in amusement.

People are the same paranoid, untrustworthy and untrusting assholes everywhere I suppose, no matter how utopian your society gets!

And to be honest, I wouldn't trust humans to not fetishize or enslave the Vulcans either if their world ever died.

So a wise choice for them, all in all.

Too bad for them, it was all in vain.

Because I am a wildcard they did not expect.

No one expected me.

Not the Federation, whose stockpiles I had drained last week nor the other couple dozen empires and civilizations in this world.

Not even the Borg.

And now it was Vulcan's turn.

I had already emptied their vaults elsewhere. This was the final one remaining.

One by one I began to portal the supplies away to an isolated dimension where my droids would then tranfer them into a new microverse I made specifically for storing these.

First went the relief and rations, then the medicine.

Machines and construction materials and survival supplies.

Then the weapons, the ships and fuel.

Finally, I walked to the edge of the bunker, where foam laden giant puffy canisters stood, securely stored to prevent any red matter from accidentally leaking or even being disturbed.

"Let's get to it then!" I said, rolling up my sleeves, when someone asked in a crisp, almost perfect masculine voice.

"Get up to what?"

I nearly jumped out of my own skin as I slid back, activating my forcefield.

I may or may not have shrieked like a little girl in the process too.

The entity on the other hand laughed as he watched me squirm for his amusement.

"Q!" I recognised his John de Lancie looking ass.

Q. The omnipotent being that came from the confusingly named race of extra dimensional beings called the Q Continuum.

They had an agenda but I don't quite recall what it was.

He was a recurring character of the Star Trek series and tended to mess with the crew of the USS Enterprise and more specifically it's captain, the iconic Jean Luc Picard in subtle, sometimes messy, and sometime helpful ways, teaching them valuable life lessons, helping them out of tough spots and being an all around goof.

A trickster god of sorts, just of the good variety.

"That is a very interesting way of describing it, yes. This John de Lancie, he must be a fine specimen of a human I daresay." Q nodded in appreciation.

"Excuse me, did you just fucking read my mind? Not cool! There's this little thing called privacy? An omniscient being like you might've heard of it?" I protested.

"Oh I certainly have. But just like you, I am not intent on keeping with the program. A quality I'm certain you appreciate." He said, wagging a finger at me.

"I suppose there is nothing I can do to make you ignore this ..... set of actions?" I asked.

"I'm afraid not. Though on second, I'm not afraid at all." He replied in jest.

"So....what are you here for exactly?"

"What do you think?"

"If I knew the faintest inkling of what makes you tick you think I would be stuck stealing from government warehouses?" I asked.

"What do you think?" He replied with that ever present fake smile.

"What do you want, Q?"

"What do you think?"

I sighed.

This guy...wait do they even have genders in the Q Continuum.

"What do you think?"

I snapped to him with a jolt.

"I thought I told you not to read my mind?"

"I'm quite certain you did not."

"Well I'm saying it now. Please stop reading my mind." I saw a smile bloom on his face as a chill crept down my spine.

Yeah, no. I know that smile.

It's the one he uses when he messes with people.

I am half convinced he's about to throw me into a black hole or something!

I immediately amended the statement.

"Unless reading my mind is going to be an accessory to the protection of my life and liberty."

And just to be sure, I added.

"Please."

Pays to be polite with these sorts.

"Aw! You young man are no fun! All that legalese is rotting your minds, I tell you." Q whined, even as the smile on his face grew wider.

"Please just leave me to do what I came here for." I sighed and turned around to get back to work, only to fing myself facing him again.

"What makes you think I'm even inclined to do that? Or capable for that matter?" He gloated.

"Then tell me what you want with me!"

"What do you think?" He repeated.

"Is that what this is going to be?"

"What do you think?"

Just then something clicked.

What if...that isn't a jab at me, but rather a legitimate question!

"Finally! There you go.

You seem to get it now." Q clapped, mockingly.

"I am not mocking you. Or maybe I am. What do you think?"

I sighed.

Or maybe not.

"I think....that stealing these supplies will help me achieve my goal in time, even if it comes at the cost of entire worlds. Besides, you can just conjure up new supplies for all of them so it's not like they'll die or anything. Not that you care much for the lives of creatures like that....or do you?"

"What do you think?" He smiled cheekily.

I sighed for the third time.

This is getting tiresome.

I opened up portals below the Red Matter and finished the job before he did anything else.

Surprisingly he didn't stop me.

Odd.

"Why did you not ask me to replicate the supplies for you, or wish for something more. Your wife's life, perhaps?" He asked, intrigued.

"Why ask what you already know?"

"What do you think?"

Fine. Have it your way.

"I am not so naive to think that genies and gods just grant wishes willy nilly, for no price, with no consequence.

Everything with your kind has a catch. It can be big or it can be small, but it's always there. Or at least almost always.

It's the same reason I didn't just pop into a genie world and steal a magic lamp.

It doesn't work as intended."

Not like cold, hard science.

"Besides, anything gotten for free, without effort has no value, because whoever gave it to you, can take it away just as easily. I rely on my own two hands, by blood and sweat to get what I want. No easy roads. No shortcuts. So that what I build. My path to eternity is unbreakable."

"But why walk a path you're already past? Aren't you already there?" He smiled mysteriously, crossing his legs, as he leaned back mid air, relaxed.

"What? Oh-

Ohohoho! I see now what you are doing!" I laughed, wagging an accusatory finger at him.

"What do you think?"

"Well I think you're trying to skew my quantum probabilities to prevent me from getting there, becoming a supreme being like you, above you even! Because you're afrai-"

He chuckled as he looked at me with that look.

Oh no!

Oh nononono-

He snapped his fingers.

I woke up in pile of leaves crimson red, some form of berry littering the ground.

I sighed. Another prank by him.

Well, no need to worry though.

At least now that he's not here, I can just go ho-

I patted my coat and found it substantially lighter and emptier

No!

I dug my hands into my pockets.

Empty.

Disintegration beam wristwatch?

Gone.

All my gadgets.

Dust in the wind.

And my portal gun?

Nowhere to be found.

Bastard! He was after my portal gun!

Maybe a lesson he wants to teach me.

Like you can never be secure in your glory ir something. Or that anything can happen.

Or...or...that my hard work can be taken away just as easily as a wish or boon.

"Well lesson learned, Q! Now give me back my stuff and let me leave. I'll get out of your hair and never return!" I called out to the heavens.

Nothing.

"Motherfuck-"

_______________________

Here's the Omake, as promised.

Mc returns home after remaking his portal gun on that primitive planet and finds his old portal gun sitting on his desk with a note from Q reading.

"I don't need your portal gun to travel the multiverse.

Love,

Q"

This is also the reason MC is 24 instead of the canon 23 he should be.

He was stuck on the primitive planet a while till he rebuilt his portal gun. Coincidentally, MC is also worshipped as a god on that planet and single-handedly pulled them out of the stone age.

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