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In the Three Kingdoms with a System!

War&Military
Ongoing · 1.1M Views
  • 73 Chs
    Content
  • 3.5
    11 ratings
  • NO.200+
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Synopsis

Tianlong was a historian, who was killed by an evil spirit that escaped the spirit road and brought five evil spirits, with it. So come, follow Tianlong on a journey as he travels, in the Three Kingdoms making a name for himself, while tracking down an evil spirit which escaped into the Three Kingdoms. (PS, This is my first time writing a story like this and would like good, bad, and positive criticization, to see what I could fix in the story. Help is always appreciated, also this is an alternate timeline where it follows a slightly altered history of the three kingdoms and shall show another possibility if Lu Bu made a decision, to set up somewhere else where he could grow, contest, and vie for power with Cao Cao, Liu Bei, and Sun Ce.) The ranks of the generals are inspired by the novel, My, Father, In-Law Is Lu Bu. you can get a clear description of them there than here. https://imgur.com/gallery/TcMfSPM not my pic can be found here

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Table of Contents
Volume 2 :Black Horse General
Volume 1 :Conquest of Dunhuang

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The_Faggotten_Ones
The_Faggotten_OnesLv5The_Faggotten_Ones

Bro, you need to chill, theres something called pre-conflict, conflict, post-conflict. but you just put conflict everywhere, chill bro, take your time when writing this novel, put a bit of filler chapter is fine too so that the story doesn't always feels so tense... Yes i know that this was a war and military novel, but if its fills with to much war it will become boring later on, your story feels better after the post-war, the story become alive but pity suddenly its war again... The ones that obstruct the story progression is actually the system itself, the system is TOO user friendly, army, training and so on the mc can just use it instantly(i dont know because the author didn't explain it, cmiiw), when actually its better to just put a chapter how you build and train your army(according to skill books) and make a bonds with them, its just feels weird when you have an army come out of thin air... The story rarely have enemy pov(or non-existent maybe?), and its always party1 and party2, theres no info about the other warlords. well, this is the first time you write a novel so i let this one pass, maybe you can do this later on when you already experienced enough... this novel is fine, but i hope you become better and better on writing this novel... thank you...

TempestWolf1013
TempestWolf1013Lv15TempestWolf1013

Wish the writing was better and chapters are longer but hey no ones perfect just keep it up and slowly improve and edit the chapters down the line Thanks for the chapters

GSOMP
GSOMPLv4GSOMP

Should use less shaa shaa and actual words. Must be more descriptive.rather than using techniques name best to include what they mean a straight thrust,swipe etc.Plot is interesting but readers get lost.......

Arcane1111
Arcane1111Lv5Arcane1111

I realllllllyyyyyy love this novel sadly the author doesnt update that much but im really into the three kingdoms war as well as lubu. I wish you could continue writing and updating this man youre doing an awesome job and i know authors dont get appreciated much in webnovel but i really am. Big fan of your work Godbless and keep safe.

agaxent
agaxentLv6agaxent

Reveal spoiler

sage_of_balance
sage_of_balanceLv2sage_of_balance

I really liked the story, the character has a fairly decent development and I really like how the author added the whole tsar and mc rivalry angle it has a lot of potential for development. that said the writing quality is subpar at best and the update schedule is non existent. I personally think the story has been dropped and hope the author proves me wrong.

Kenlinvert1
Kenlinvert1Lv1Kenlinvert1

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gee_ringdomstories
gee_ringdomstoriesLv1gee_ringdomstories

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to check whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.

Tusk5
Tusk5Lv4Tusk5

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Kilex
KilexLv11Kilex

A good story with a very erratic update schedule. We may not see a chapter in half a year but the writing is good and the story has a lot of potential.

Hanol
HanolLv14Hanol

I could not make it past chapter 6 the grammar is terrible i have no idea who is talking your story needs to either be rewritten or have someone go and edit everything your story is confusing.I loved the setting three kingdoms period but sadly its not readable.

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