Chapter 1. The end of the beginning

Being in love is the most beautiful thing that can happen to you, especially when it appears at the most unexpected moment, when you think that nothing can warm your frozen heart.

I didn't even thought that there was really that wonderful feeling I had read about in many of my lonely nights.

The memory of the sensual smile and the passionate look of the one who had finally conquered my soul, made me dream with open eyes. My secret love.

The sound of my cell phone woke me up from my dreams. The name displayed made me smile. David!

-Good morning! I was still smiling.

-It's not good at all. David's angry voice made my smile disappear. -I understand! I was trying to look calm even though something was telling me it wasn't good.

-I don't think you understand. If you understood, you wouldn't behave like that. I really didn't understand anything he was saying so I waited silently for the sequel.

-How could you do something like this to me? He continued more and more irritated. His tone had begun to irritate me.

-I don't understand what the hell happened to you? There was a short pause after which I heard his voice again, this time with a note of sadness.

-Sam! You're not the woman I thought you were.

I didn't understand what kind of accusation were bringing me, but his last words caused my whole universe to collapse

. His words sounded like a gong in my head.

-And you think you're the man I thought you were? I asked him angrily.

-What do you want to say?

-Exactly the same thing you say.

-I finish what I have to do here and I come to talk. His tone was not as high now.

-Good! I answered just as angrily and hung up without saying goodbye.

For a few minutes I looked at the small device in my hand without blinking. I had the impression that I was being pursued by a curse, he would leave me as Kevin had left me 10 years ago.

His words rang loudly in my ears, "You're not the woman I thought you were." Kevin had said the same thing to me then.

As I looked at the phone in my hand, the anger in me grew and grew until I felt nothing but anger.

I felt my face hardened, my mind slipped quickly into the past that did not give me peace, it threw me into the nightmare of my adolescence.

And then full of hatred I started writing a message on my mobile phone: ,,I changed my mind. I don't want to talk to you today, in fact I never want to talk to you again. I don't want to see you again. My life is far too complicated now. I don't need any other complications. " With sure hands I pressed send, in a blink "Message delivered" appeared on the screen.

I knew I was going to see him soon and I knew I was going to see him every day, but I had to get used to it.

My life was a continuous torture, which mattered one more.

I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, he had no right to talk to me like that. I had risked so much to see him, to be with him, and he knew it. I didn't know his reason but it was normal for him to ask me before accusing me. At least Kevin had asked me then , situation had been different, I had really been wrong in some way back then.

Slowly, slowly my anger turns to pain. I couldn't stay in the house anymore, so I put on a pair of sports shoes, took the keys and headed to the parking lot in the basement of the building. I got in the car and without thinking where I was going I started the engine. Still without thinking, I reached the place where David had taken me for the first time after I had agreed to go out with him.

It was quiet, the crowded buzz of the city was far behind.

I parked the car at the edge of the forest and only then I let the bitter tears flood on my face.

I was not allowed to cry, I had to control myself. I pulled a packet of napkins out of the car's glove compartment and quickly wiped away my tears, then looked in the rearview mirror I saw. Blond hair tight in ponytail , my hazel eyes were now shiny green from tears, my eyebrows distorted with frowns and my livid lips had nothing in common with my happy face from the first hour of the morning. My hands felt cold as if my blood was no longer flowing through my veins.

I got out of the car and started running in the familiar grove in front of me. I don't even knew when , I reached at a glade with a huge stump in the middle.

I stopped running and with calm steps I approached the piece of wood that seemed to call me to it. I touched it with a trembling hand. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life," David had told me then, and today he had told me, "You are not the woman I thought you were."

Pictures of David mingled with pictures of Kevin. Pain took over my soul.

I can't control it anymore, again tears flooded my face like a torrent. Slowly I lay down in the thick grass with my back supported by the wood warmed by the bright sun flooded the glade.

I clasped my knees with both hands and with my head bowed I gave free rein to the pain and memories.