The haunting past

"Ryan, why did you hurt the girl?"

Caroline Carlos crouched down to meet the eyes of her 8 year old son.

"Because she made my building fall," Ryan said.

He had been building a tower with legos according to the picture on the box. It was very hard to build that and it took him all morning. Yet, the neighbor girl made it all toppled over. So, he pushed down the girl in anger and the girl started crying.

"How did I teach you about treating girls?"

"I should be gentle towards them. Because I'm a boy and boys are stronger than girls. If I use my strength, I might hurt them. But…"

"But?"

"She made my building fall," Ryan said in a soft voice. He did not want his mother to be disappointed but he did not think he did anything wrong either.

"Did she know that it was very important to you? Did you tell her?" Caroline asked in a gentle voice. Ryan had never seen John and Caroline raised their voice. He was not even sure if his parents could get angry at all.

Ryan shook his head.

"If she did not know it was important to you, how would she know that she should treat it with care?"

Ryan was quiet.

"And did you have to push her? Can't you just tell her that she did something wrong and that she should say sorry to you?" Caroline continued.

"I was angry," Ryan said. As soon as the building fell down, all he could felt was anger and he immediately pushed the girl down.

Caroline patted her son's head. She knew what she's about to taught her son was going to be difficult to understand at such a young age.

"I've always taught you about this. You should always think before you do something because you can't change what you have already done."

Ryan nodded his head.

"And what did I tell you about treating people with respect?" Caroline continued.

"Everyone should be treated with respect, even Milo. The things I don't like, I should not do that to others, too" Ryan recited what his parents had taught him. His mother wanted him to show kindness to even animals, including their pet dog, Milo.

"And would you like to be pushed down without even knowing what you did wrong?"

Ryan shook his head, "No, mom"

"Babe, me and your dad are always away with work and you had to stay with your grandmother. I know it is unfair to you but can you be a good boy? Or people will say that it is because we did not teach you anything and will look down on me and your dad. Do you want that?"

"No," he did not want his parents to take the blame for his actions.

But what about him? Did he have to take the blame for their actions?

Ding Dong

The sound of doorbell interrupted his reminiscing. He let it rang for a few times hoping it to pass but the uninvited guest was persistent.

He walked towards the door in a low mood and opened the door. Seeing the blue-eyed woman, wrapped up in a hoodie as usual, he greeted.

"Hello, Doc. What is it?"

Vivienne looked straight into his eyes without answering his question.

"If you're here to ask for more information, can you come again another time? I don't really want to talk right now," Ryan said.

After a few seconds of looking at him, Vivienne asked, "Are you gonna be okay alone?"

She knew? He was not even in the mood to ask her how she knew. He just tried to give an answer to her question and he realized that he himself was not sure if he was going to be okay.

He silently opened the door wider and let her walk in. Then, they sat down side by side on the couch without talking to each other.

He was busy with his own thoughts and she did not disturb him either.

Only after a few minutes, Ryan said, "I always thought that… if I become a parent one day, I want to be like them. They were always patient, forgiving and understanding. I never expected that…."

Ryan felt choked and had to clear his airway with a cough.

He always thought that his parents were normal sale representatives just like they told him. Never in his dreams, did he think that his father would be the one responsible for 'recruiting' professionals for the illegal researches. He was even responsible for kidnapping the Maura girl and threatening her parents to work for Cellox.

And his mother… she was even worse. She was the supervisor for the test subjects including the 12 year old kids. His mother who always taught him to be respectful and kind towards others, treated other people's children as lab rats. How ironic!

"I never expected them to be what people would call 'monsters'"

Ryan continued as he remembered Julian's words. He did not want to believe it but the evidence was in front of him. Shelly had separated his parents' files from the information she got about Cellox and the burnt down research facility.

His father, John Carlos died in that explosion 18 years ago and not in a car accident like he was told.

May be his mother death's was also…

"They were your role models and it was inevitable that you would feel upset after learning about their dark side. But that was all you should feel. You don't have to be guilty for the sins your parents' committed. You may have inherited their DNA, but you did not inherit those sins at all. You are you and they are them." Vivienne said matter-of-factly.

"Are you sure?" Ryan asked while thinking about the bullet that went through his left shoulder 18 years ago.

"Of course I am. I can't even imagine you deliberately hurting someone," Vivienne said as she touched behind Ryan's ear and gently scratched there as the same way she would do to a dog.

Ryan was not in the mood to stop her and he found this strange gesture quite comforting.

At least, there was still someone to tell him that he was not responsible for his parents' past.

Vivienne took out a bottle of pills and gave one of the pills to him.

"This is a sleeping pill. It can also help with anxiety."

Ryan took the pill without thinking too much. Then, he looked towards Vivienne.

"You…"

"I'm gonna stay here tonight. I don't think you are one to have silly thoughts, I think I should stay here just in case." She interrupted Ryan's words with a nonchalant tone.

As Ryan was going to say she did not have to worry, she continued.

"You go and sleep in your room. I'll be on this couch if you need something. You don't have to feel bad for me or anything. If you remembered the time you visited my house, you'd realize that I did not have a bed. I'm a night-owl and I don't even sleep much anyway"

"You don't have to," Ryan said.

She turned a deaf ear to his words and took out her phone.

"There's something I want to read tonight. Don't disturb me anymore. Unless you think I might steal something from your house?"

Why would he think that? She might even be richer than him.

"At least go sleep in the room," he said helplessly.

"That's not the way I treat my patients"

"Patient?" Ryan asked.

"People are so absorbed in caring about their bodies that they tend to forget they also have a mind to care about. It's even more delicate and complex than your physical body."

As soon as she finished saying that, she tried to push Ryan off the couch although she could not move the latter even with all her strength.

"Okay... Okay... I will go"

Ryan did not argue with her anymore as the sleeping pill was also starting to take its effects.

He slept well that night without even a nightmare, all thanks to the strange doctor and her sleeping pill.

He woke up to find that the woman was already gone and she left the bottle of pills on the table with a prescription and a note.

Ryan smiled and read the note.

"Don't always rely on the pills. Use them only when it's absolutely necessary. Remember what I told you before. Exercising helps you clear your thoughts."

Ryan put down the note and texted to Vivienne with his phone.

"Thanks"