Chapter 1

After a month and a half, I started to acknowledge it.

It was difficult to find a mate, regardless of how talented my personal assistant is.

"Rejected."

I dropped the candidate profile that had been handed to me onto my desk, making sure to control my strength so that it fell straight down instead of sliding completely off the surface. My personal assistant, Angel, gave me a withering look when she picked the folder up to cradle it to her chest.

"You barely looked at it," she said, frowning.

"I skimmed it." I gave a dismissive flap of my hand. "Looks were average, skills were decent, personality seems nice—but I don't want nice. You know I don't want nice. Why do you keep giving me candidates that drip niceness? Do you want me to break them just from one date?"

"You're too dramatic."

"I'm dramatic!" I cried, slapping a hand onto my desk. Though it stung, it was such a minor inconvenience compared to being shot that I didn't even flinch. "The Underworld heir is dramatic! Do you even know what you're saying?"

Angel truly didn't live up to her name, the way she rolled her eyes at me as if I were a child. Though it was true that we'd known each other since childhood, with her being assigned to stay by my side at age five by my loving parents, that wasn't enough of a reason to warrant the disrespect.

"You're dramatic, it's really a wonder that you're still respected by everyone else," Angel huffed. "How they fail to see how childish you are, I'll never know."

"You're the only one who can see me like this."

"And let's keep it that way, if we want to keep the Underworld standing."

I squinted at her. She was the pale moon in a dark room—all light hair and fair skin in contrast to the reds and blacks of my office—that you couldn't help from keeping your eyes on her.

Though, I kept my eyes on her for a different reason. She was dangerous, from when we were kids up until now. Omega as she was, she'd been chosen to stay by my side both because she was unaffected by my Alpha pheromones, and because she was capable of snapping a bigger man in half with just her thighs.

My parents sure knew how to pick them.

If only the people they picked could introduce me to a proper mate too...

Snap.

I blinked, incredulous. "Did you just snap your fingers at me? Do I look like a dog to you?"

"You sure as hell act like one. Stay focused, Marcella. If you don't want nice Alphas, then why request for a submissive one?"

"Being nice is different from being submissive."

She gave me a look of disgust like I were a roach trying to crawl up her foot. This little—

"Then, tell me the difference," she said bluntly. There was an impatience in her eyes telling me to get it over with, and quickly. "What makes submission different from being nice?"

"It should be obvious, shouldn't it? A nice Alpha performs niceness to get something of equal value later on." I leaned back into my seat, the chair bouncing a little with the force of my weight. "They expect things, even if they don't explicitly say it. Some of the candidates you gave might genuinely be kind, sure, but that won't fly if they're going to be my mate. We're in the Underworld, for fuck's sake. I need someone who knows who I am and won't think they'll have a chance to tame me down the line, who'll still be able to speak against me when necessary. An equal."

"I vetted those candidates. You really think I'd endorse a spineless jerk to you?"

I gave her a look.

She stared back, before giving in to a shrug. All too casually, she said, "Alright, you got me."

Son of a bitch.

"Some of them are desperate enough to want to be in debt to the Underworld, even if that means sleeping with the devil herself." There was no guilt on her face; rather, she was eyeing me with obvious annoyance. "It's not easy, finding Alphas willing to submit to another Alpha, much less male ones. You make my job harder than it should be with your pickiness, you know."

"I keep this place running, I don't see why I can't afford having a choice in my lifelong mate," I complained. "This man will be the one to raise my children with me. I won't stand for anyone subpar."

"This is exactly why you're still single until now."

I scowled at her. "I've been single until now because most of my suitors are simpering fools, and I'm not so shallow that I'd choose anyone lightly."

Angel hummed, taking a seat across from me. It seemed the conversation was going on for too long, for her, that she just chose to drop the pretense of being a proper assistant completely. She crossed her legs and set the folder down on her skirt-covered thighs, looking for all the world like she was bored of this entire situation she was in. "Not because you're the Underworld heir?"

"You'd be surprised by how many people want to get on their knees just because I'm a woman with power." I made a face at the reminder of my past experiences with such sleazy people. I was able to cut off the hands of some, but some others...

It was a pity that some of them got away just because they held back on their sleaziness at the last minute. My patience was a curse sometimes.

"That's not the kind of submission I want," I said. There was a finality to my words, an unspoken intent for something more. "I want it to be earned."

It was almost certain that my logic didn't make any sense to Angel, given the way she sighed and rubbed at her temple in blatant dismay. She wasn't an Alpha, for one, and secondly, she didn't have the same mindset as me as a person seated in power.

"You're asking for too much, Marcella," she said, predictably enough. She looked exhausted, much more than when I sent her to do actual field work. "At this point, wouldn't it be better to visit BDSM clubs for the submissive Alpha that you want?"

"I'm not looking for something that hardcore."

She pinched the bridge of her nose this time, frowning deeply.

"You really..."

"I want a child, okay?" I groaned. I covered my face with my hands, elbows to my desk, and breathed in deeply, before exhaling slowly. "I'm going crazy just thinking about it. I want a child with someone I want. Someone I chose. Not because I was desperate enough to pick just anyone, but because they were exactly who I wanted."

I slid my hands down to my mouth and gazed over to the family photo I had up on my desk, showing off the family I'd made from this group built up from blood, sweat, and death. My chest warmed at the sight of them, these fools of mine for whom I'd turn the world over, make it anew.

In the same way that they'd die for me, kill for me, I'd change the world for them regardless of the cost. I wanted to believe they'd feel the same if I brought a child into this world, my own flesh and blood.

"Marcella."

I looked over at Angel. I wasn't sure what the expression on my face was, but it seemed to be enough to make her gaze soften as it rested on me.

"Maybe we should do a trip," she offered. "If your mate can't be found here, then it might just be that we need to widen our search, look at the places outside of our reach."

She was referring to searching out a mate overseas, wasn't she? Because so far, she'd already been endorsing me mate candidates from all over the country.

There was a reason I wanted the search to be done locally. It had been in my best interest to find someone already close to home as I needed a mate, and not just a rut partner. It had to be someone who was at least familiar with who I was, what I did, and what they'd be getting into, and who better to know those things than people who already breathed the same air as me?

Though, her idea had some merit to it, now that I was considering it. It wasn't like the influence of the Underworld was so small as to not reach the ears of those outside the land, and it might work out better to have someone who was a little bit different. Someone new, someone who could challenge me without being a pest about it. Just thinking about it had me curling my fingers over my mouth in contemplation. A trip...

A trip might actually work, given enough luck being on my side.

"We can do branch inspections along the way," I agreed, pulling my hand away from my mouth as I leaned into my seat, back straight. "It's been a while since I've seen everyone, so the timing sounds right."

"...I said it as a vacation, not as another business trip."

"You know I don't do vacations."

Angel shook her head with a sigh. "This is another reason you're single, you workaholic."

A workaholic? I wasn't that bad, I thought. I took breaks, and didn't do overtime—much. I certainly wasn't so bad that I'd end up ill from it. "I'm not that much of a workaholic. I take breaks."

"You're the heir," Angel said. She looked pained, the way she grimaced at me. "Other people would kill to abuse your powers for their own gain. Yet all you've done so far is delegate the most minor of tasks to everyone else, while taking the heavier loads by yourself. I'm surprised you haven't collapsed yet."

I eyed her askance. "You sound like you want me to collapse."

"If that means you'll rest? Sure."

"You crazy—"

"I'll make the itinerary," she interrupted, smiling her customer service smile at me as she stood up from her seat. Like this, she looked the perfect image of a professional secretary—even when I knew she was anything but. "I'll allow four branch visits, but no more than that."

She didn't wait for a response when she made her way to the door. Had the insolence come from anyone else, from anyone outside of my family, I would have promptly slashed their mouth open as a permanent warning.

But Angel was the closest family I had outside of my own parents. It wasn't like there were plenty of people I could act this sincerely towards while being able to trust that they wouldn't stab me in the back.

"Ah."

I raised a brow at the way she hesitated at the door. It was unlike her to remember things so belatedly. "Was there anything else?"

"The children."

Why couldn't she say things straight out? This person seemed to really want to rile me up. "What about them?"

She smiled at me. It was the kind of smile that triggered my fight instincts, regardless of the actual circumstances. She said, "They've been training under Sasha for the past two weeks now. I thought you should know."

My knuckles knocked onto hard wood as I stood up abruptly, sending my chair flying until it fell to the floor behind me. "They're what?" I snapped. "They're barely even in their teens, so what kind of training—!"

Angel made a slicing gesture at her neck. "What do you think?"

"That little brat—" I cut myself off when I saw the blank look on her face. She knew, but she was only saying it now; this meant she'd been allowing this to go on under my nose for longer than I thought. "Why did you allow this?"

"It was inevitable," Angel said, raising a brow at me this time. "They're children of the Underworld. We should've started them earlier on, but you only wanted to train them for self-defense since you thought it was too early for anything else. It was no wonder they got caught."

A frown settled on my lips at those cold words. Had I been too soft on them? But it had been my belief that it would only break them to push them so soon...wasn't it the rational thing to do, to be patient until they were stable enough?

A soft voice broke through my thoughts. "You're the head, Marcella, but you don't need to carry everything alone. You can allow the children their desire to protect you."

My shoulders loosened at the odd gentleness in her voice. It wasn't often that I got to see this side of her, and when I did, it usually meant something significant. So significant, in fact, that I had to stifle my hurt pride when I spoke, "I don't like the insinuation that I'd need the protection of children."

She burst into a laugh, making me frown. What? What was so funny?

"For someone so observant, you seem to fall short on realizing some obvious things," Angel said, smiling at me. She rested her hand on the door knob as if to imply she'd be finishing this conversation soon, or else leave me hanging. "The protection isn't for your sake. It's theirs."

That...made even less sense.

"What are you trying to say?"

She tilted her head to one side in seeming curiosity. "How did you cope, growing up with this kind of family? Having to see blood and death all around you, and knowingly leading and abetting crimes as they happened."

What an odd question. "I didn't," I said bluntly. "I just lived as I wanted."

"The mindset of the strong," Angel said. It felt like she expected that answer, even if I myself was confused at how...fond and amused she sounded over it. "That's not how it is, for those of us who are weaker."

I didn't have to think when I gave my reply. "You're not weak."

"I know." Her smile reached up to her eyes, making her look softer than she usually was. "But I wasn't always as strong as you."

"Then?"

"The children, they need a goal to work towards to keep themselves sane." She turned to face me fully then, and I felt like I was seeing her anew. As if all three decades of our lives together still weren't enough for me to see all of her colors. "You wanted to wait for them to become stable to start training, but the way I see it, they need the training to find stability in the first place."

I didn't understand it. I knew I wasn't exactly the most normal person around, but I'd been socialized enough outside of the Underworld to at least be able to tell and fake such normalcy. This situation, however...

This didn't seem very normal either.

Click.

With her hand on the open door, Angel smiled at me. "Talk with them, Marcella," she said. "Maybe you'll understand it better, coming from them."

I gave her a wry smile.

"You just do as you like and leave me hanging like this, it's starting to annoy me."

She smirked. Right before she left, her body already halfway through the door, she gave me such parting words:

"Now you know how I feel."

Click.

What a brat.

Not only did I have to think about the remaining options I had to be able to secure a mate, I had to figure out my own kids too. It made sense that they weren't as average as any child out of the Underworld given their poor circumstances before I took them in, but that didn't mean I expected them to adjust to their new lives with the same speed as me as a child.

I pulled up my seat, sat down, and rubbed at my temple with a sigh.

It was practice for future child-rearing, I suppose. No better time than now.