For the rest of our journey, I fell into a heavy silence. I didn't say anything out of fear that something unwittingly might come from my mouth. The atmosphere grew thicker with every step.
I was evading all kinds of interaction, even the passive ones, because only now realized that I had changed how I walk to one of those classy and stylish ones.
One of my biggest fears was coming to life, the fear of "me" not being "me." The fear of losing myself, of becoming a stranger to my body and mind.
The idea that, at any moment, the essence that conforms me, might slip away without even realizing it... Terrifies me
It's like dying when you sleep you'll never know it. No matter what you do, You won't know it.
Now, finding a way to un-transform was for SURVIVAL, not comfort.
The night settled as the moon rose up with stars adorning the black canvas of the sky.
I made the same pattern to call for the fireflies. They guided us to a tree that was hollow inside.
Dante settled meticulously, taking the hammock and plucking it to pass the night. He never cared this much about minor details.
But inside his mind, as he tried to sleep
A phrase kept repeating incessantly within, Maybe as a question, maybe as self-reassurance
MY NAME IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY NAME IS DANTE MY IS DANTE
...
...
...
Dante woke up with one of the worst nights of sleep in his life. He didn't feel refreshed or better. His mental state was a total mess, and it won't fix itself any time soon.
He stood there watching the void with dull eyes, grappling with the accumulated stress. His physical health started to deteriorate pretty quickly.
Ironically, to calm down, he started to sew, temporarily calming down the turmoil as he wandered through the System, searching for a solution to this predicament.
New options opened after upgrading himself, but at the same time, certain characters lost their true potential.
Friendship is magic: all-.
Friendship WAS magic: upgr-...
No thanks, I'm not interested. Dante's hooves tapped rhythmically on the floor out of pure anxiety. In his relentless search, he saved two interesting ones unrelated to his problem.
'Awesome as I want to be.'
and
'Polymorphia.'
These 2 called his attention, but he didn't have time for them. Later on, he will search for them.
The scrolling continued, ignoring everything unrelated to what he needed. The pursuit of a problem that may not have a solution slowly devoured him.
In just a few mere seconds, it felt as if his body had aged several years. His back ached, his vision blurred, and his hooves trembled with exhaustion. Every breath felt like a struggle, with his heart pounding at 1000 per second.
"Ah..." he finally encountered something that offered a GLIMMER of hope.
Control pact: Stops the merging process with transformations, only letting it grow up to 99% of synchronization. Warning: you will lose the ability to merge.
No, the word "solution" didn't fit; this only stopped it from reaching a worse state.
It was like taking aspirin for a headache. It alleviated the symptoms but didn't address the problem.
This was not what he wanted, but still, it was better than nothing.
But at this moment, he didn't have the points to do so
He hadn't gotten another skill tree point for a while. If he needed to wait until getting to the city, that would be impossible. By that time, he would be merged with his transformation, losing himself forever.
...
His only hope was getting a point, but how?
He broke his head trying to think of a solution when it hit him.
'I could ask the system.'
Urgently, he asked the System, "How do I get skill tree points?"
System: Every ten levels, you get a free one. The other way would be to buy one with a specific-
"DANIEL!" I screamed his name the moment my brain processed that information. "We need to kill monsters NOW!"
Daniel seemed confused, so I explained, "Remember how I said, "darling"? It's something that rarity says. This means I'm getting corrupted at a high rate, which I need to stop, and the only way is to get level 10."
He couldn't even respond before I started to carry him with my telekinesis, taking him out of the tree.
"Fast, I don't know how high the speed is increasing."
We speedran my level 10 by hunting every single monster we found, not caring about energy reserves. All I cared about was reaching that next level.
The strongest one was a giant lion, which we completely crushed with a burst of lasers.
The moment the System told me I became level 10 instantly, I bought the upgrade.
But I didn't feel any change. "At least I won't get totally corrupted..."
Daniel asked me, a bit tired, "Are you done?"
I replied, my voice shaky with exhaustion. "Yes, don't worry, let's just take a break."
I literally made Daniel run non-stop and find enemies so we could kill them.
I say anxiously, "But weren't we supposed to go north? DID WE LOSE THE NORTH HE POINTED AT!?"
Daniel already made a plan, "let's follow the marks I left and continue from where we started to not lose ourselves."
Dante had gone on a rampage without thinking much about the consequences and was now relieved that Daniel had a plan.
"Oh, that's a good idea; let's get going because that month will take some time."
...
...
...
As we adventured through the forest, I decided to make a mental diary of our adventures, perhaps because of the merging or just me, who knows.
Mental Diary Week 1
After passing through certain sections, plants became quite aggressive. Our main enemies now were plants, and we quickly realized that we had to attack all plants... In a jungle...
Also, I discovered a pattern every 15-30 phrases. I say darling in a phrase.
Mental Diary Week 2
We exited the plant's territory. Also, Did you know that monkeys can throw their excrement to defend themself? No? Anyway, having the personality of a dramatic queen didn't help either. Daniel had to knock me up because I didn't shut up.
We also had to find some flowers to aromatize myself because I DIDN'T FUCKING SHUT UP.
Mental Diary Week 3
I swear to God, Celestia, or whoever exists above all that If I can't un-transform, I'll hang out myself with a rope. This is a living nightmare. Also, after level 10, it became harder to level up. Probably, the XP cap increased exponentially, which meant that I had to work much harder.
Mental Diary Week 4
We were supposed to be there already, but I couldn't run the first weeks, so our pace was painfully slow, and that we stopped to kill every single monster didn't help. Also, my leg is like new. I don't know if it is because of my toon physics or just a mini-healing factor.
Mental Diary Week 5
As we approached the city, we were ambushed by four players. They attacked us without warning, catching us off guard. Now, the fact that I'm writing this means that I'm not dead yet.
How did we escape? I slowed them down, and Daniel ran full speed. These bastards have been following us since then. We are just minutes away from entering the city.
Right now we are running for our lives as he carries me because he is faster.
I yell to Daniel, "CAN'T YOU RAN MORE FASTER?"
Daniel responds, "I'm already at my limit. Running for hours is tiring."
To which I reply, "Darling, SHUT YO MOUTH. If you have the energy to talk, you have the energy to run now. DO IT BECAUSE OUR LIVES DEPEND ON IT."
After some time, I decided to accept these changes in my personality. Although it's not like there are many options, the alternative is to have an existential crisis every morning, which isn't the best for my health.
I kept yelling, "Keep running to that giant portal door."
Daniel: "If you want to get in so hard, then"
Daniel grabbed Dante like an American soccer ball and threw him to the door portal.
I clamored, "THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN!!!" mid-air, Dante started to pull Daniel close to him with his telekinesis.
We stumbled onto the door portal, both of us panting and exhausted. "We did it"
Daniel, half-exasperated, responded, "We? Didn't I have to carr-"
"Yes, WE!." Dante asserted, despite being carried for half the journey.
Looking around at our new surroundings, I ask rhetorically, "Now, where are we?"
Authors note
Note 1
I just read something and realized I'm not being descriptive enough (AKA more Chinese novels. Those guys are too descriptive in their fights)
Being too descriptive doesn't mean better, but it helps and a lot... fricking Chinese novels actually helped me.
Note 2
THIS WAS A MINI-TIME SKIP!!! (I want him to stop using rarity. SHE WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE A THING IN THE FIRST WAY)
Note 3
I don't think y'all understand how terrifying it is that you are changing in real-time without knowing it.
The metaphor of dying when you sleep pretty much fits the mold you'll never know, no matter what.
NOTE 4
I'll try to upload 5 chapters this week HELL YEAH I'M GOING ALL IN!!! (probably just 4 but who knows maybe I'll actually do it)