Weariness

When I awake on a Sunday afternoon, I have a splitting headache. Dizzy, I lift up and take a glance around the room. Dorcas is sleeping at the bottom of my bed. I guess he didn't want to leave me after the occurrences of yesterday. Stepping out of bed, my foot falls on something hard. It ain't the floor. Looking down, I see Liam and Lucas sleeping on my floor. I guess they felt the same way as Dorcas did. I don't want them to beat themselves up over this. For not knowing. How could they have known? That their little sister/ best friend was getting hurt by her boyfriend.

I continued walking to the bathroom and opened the door. After grabbing my towel, I undressed and slipped into the shower. In the shower, I let the water run over my blond hair. I look down at my peach-colored skin. At my bruised skin. No visible marks, not one. But those bruises are there. I let the Dove body wash seep into my skin in the shower. It feels so good. I feel so refreshed. I want this day to be as normal as ever. I just want to get back in the swing of things. I just want to pretend this whole Fiasco didn't happen. But the problem is I know it did happen. I know what I saw. I feel the bruises on my neck from when he choked me. I don't think I can pretend that things are normal. But I'm going to have to try.

I head through the walk-in closet, and I picked out my normal Sunday outfit. Cute shorts and oversized sweaters. After that, I slip on some fuzzy warm socks then my Pink, white slides.

I headed back to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I stare into my blue eyes—I see the pain behind them. I'm trying so hard to recognize the girl that I'm staring at.

I go downstairs into the kitchen and start lunch. I'm trying to keep this Sunday as normal as possible, so I'm going to do what I usually do. I start making everyone's favorite lunch: steamed shrimp, garlic, and cheese bread. Every Sunday, Dorcas comes over to eat lunch with us, and that's what I make. As if the aroma of the food woke them, the boys, Lily, mom, and Dad came downstairs.

I just got done putting their plates on the dining table when they come to sit down. I turned to leave when Lily spoke up.

"Sonny, aren't you going to eat with us?" Lily questions

Of course, they're going to be suspicious. I always eat with them every Sunday. But today, I think I just need to clear my head.

"Lily, I already ate. But feel free to help yourself. Enjoy your meal." I reply

After giving me a hesitant look, Lily gives me a nod. I grab my car keys and walk out the door. What better place to clear my head than the beach? In case you couldn't pick up on it already, I love the beach. The soothing waves, how pretty it is at sunset and sunrise. The beach is the most ideal place to clear my thoughts.

I continued walking towards my 2010 Jeep Wrangler to open the car door. Once I'm inside, I connect the aux cord and begin to play See You Again by Tyler, the Creator. I don't know, I've been listening to his Flower Boy album on repeat lately. I just feel like it's a collection of emotions, and that's honestly what I'm living for.

Anyhow, I start driving down the Street Path towards the beach. Once I'm there, I get out and walk around the car to the trunk to get the umbrella, cooler, blanket, and seat. I come here so much that my trunk is literally stocked with beach supplies.

As I make my way down the familiar path, I can't help but think back to that night. It was only 2 days ago, yet it kind of feels like a lifetime. I told my family and friends the truth. About how he hit me. About how he makes me feel like I'm inferior. I feel new but dirty at the same time. Dirty because I can't scrub the scars off of me. Dirty remembering the way his hands wrapped around my neck. The life leaving out of my eyes. Dirty.

Despite myself, I set up the umbrella and lay out the blanket anyway. Putting down the cooler, I grabbed an apple juice. At this point, that's the only thing that's going to make me feel better. Literally.

I open up my phone, and I go to Instagram. I scroll through my timeline and see something that genuinely stops my heart. Bryce. With another girl. Openly embarrassing me. We didn't even officially end it yet. However, he does this anyway. I don't know why I'm surprised. I don't know why this still hurts me. He's not worth it. Christopher says he's not worth my tears. So instead of crying, I try to focus on those words. Those kisses that Christopher gave me on my forehead. His soft lips touched my skin. That's what I focus on.

5 minutes pass by while I'm still scrolling on Instagram, and I get a call from Axel. Answering the phone, he immediately goes into conversation.

"Dorcas told me what happened. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. Dammit, I just want to go over there and give you a hug. Do anything I can to make you feel better. You probably don't want to see me from the way things left off. But just know I'm here for you. Please forgive me. I'm so, so, so very sorry. I was a jerk to you, and I was emotional when I took it out on you. I know that was no excuse. Just know it'll never happen again. Please forgive me I-" Axel gets cut off by my words

"Axe, it's fine, really. I forgive you. Sierra left you so suddenly with no explanation. You were hurt and sad, and I get it. Hell, I'm going through it right now. You and I are cool. See you at school tomorrow?" I finish

"You really are too nice Allison. You didn't deserve that from Bryce. He doesn't deserve you. Fuck, if you were my girlfriend, I'd make sure I'd never lose you." Axel says before hanging up the phone

The last words of the phone conversation I was having with Axel distracted me so much that I didn't notice the dark figure standing over me. With squinting eyes, I strain to see who it is. Christopher. After smiling that smile of his, he sits down next to me.

"Figured I might find you here." says Christopher

"Well, you found me. Now, what brings you out here on such a chilly day?" I reply

"I could ask the same of you." Christopher says with a chuckle

"Well, I come here nearly every week to clear my head. It seems like something's always going on in my life, and I just need to catch a break sometimes." I said

Giving me a slight nod, Christopher looks at me with his green eyes as if he wants to ask me a question he's scared to ask. I know I just met him. I know it's weird. But I trust him completely.

"How are you holding up?" Christopher said

Taking a deep breath, I prepare to tell him the truth. There's no sense in lying. Besides, like I said before, I trust him completely.

"Well, to be honest, I'm embarrassed. You guys shouldn't have had the seen that"

Christopher puts his arm around me and cranes his neck to speak." It shouldn't have happened in the first place!" Christopher says matter-of-factly

"Well it did, and I suppose there's nothing that can be done about it now," I remarked

Christopher tightens his grip around me and stares out into the ocean. He's deep in thought I notice.

"You got plans for today?" Christopher questions

I shake my head and curiosity.

He stands up and looks down at me. Holding out his hand, he says, "Well, let's go on an adventure."