Freddie Funnington
Eden McBride really hated Truth or Dare. One simple question was all it took for the spotlight at her best friend's bachelorette party to shine brightly on her and refuse to stop.
Her options hadn't been great. Either she had to answer the question 'what is the dumbest thing you have ever done?' or run out into the street in nothing but her underwear. The penalty for doing neither was taking three tequila shots and she had already thrown up once tonight because of these terrible drinking games.
You would think the maid of honor would be in charge of planning the games but, no, it had to be one of the bridesmaids that was a total alcoholic. So Eden chose the least offensive option and got a bunch of horrified stares in return.
"You're in love with someone whose face you've never seen?!" Carrie Sandlin, one of the bridesmaids, asked in disbelief.
She nodded in shame and Eden's best friend Aubrey Combs sighed heavily. "Oh, honey. I knew you were flirting with the guy but in love with him? Seriously? What on earth happened? You have to tell me everything."
Eden was horrified. "Now?!"
"Uh, yeah, you can't tell us something like that then leave us hanging!" Aubrey's sister Jennifer said as if it was obvious.
She surveyed the room. At this point, most of the women here looked like they wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow. The only ones who were somewhat sober were particular friends of hers and she knew much worse secrets of theirs so it wasn't like they had any room to judge her.
With a sigh, Eden launched into her story. Truth or Dare had been getting old anyway and, with any luck, everyone would want to do something not involving alcohol by the time she was done.
"It all started six months ago when I was working for Freddie Funnington's Fun-a-palooza…you know I had to take a crappy job after graduating last year because it took me a while to find a decent job in my field.
"Anyway, I wasn't there to make friends. I never intended to stay at that job for more than a couple of months but after six had passed I was starting to lose hope about ever leaving and it made me kind of jaded. I was having a bit of a bad day and had a run-in with Freddie Funnington himself…"
===
Eden was 0.2 seconds away from losing her cool and punting the nearest child over her head directly into the ball pit. She had heard back from another laboratory this morning about not getting hired.
Everyone had said 'Get a science degree! You'll always have a job!' so she had majored in chemistry. Look where that had gotten her. She had been stuck working in this cesspool of cheap pizza and arcade games for six months.
Her mother had given her such a hard time for it when she went home for Christmas too, talking about how her brother had gotten several job offers before he was even finished with school. At least Ezra didn't have a big head about it and defended her.
He may enjoy teasing her but he was always on her side when it counted. She was lucky to have him. That didn't change the fact that it sucked always being compared to him though.
Besides, he was a lawyer! He had done tons of internships and spent actual time in court so employers already knew of him before he graduated. It was natural that he was able to get a job straight out of school with those kinds of connections.
Eden had been a research assistant for multiple professors, clocking plenty of time in the lab, but that didn't exactly help her in the real world. Student research assistants got kicked out as soon as they graduated so other students could take their place.
That was how she ended up here. She was given a two-week grace period after graduation at the lab before getting booted out and desperately needed to pay her bills.
The pay wasn't great but working full time instead of part time had her making more than she had as a research assistant. If she wanted to keep up with her car payment, student loans, and rent, she had to deal with smelling like pizza all the time.
After she quit, she never wanted to eat pizza again. One of the few perks of this job was getting sent home with leftovers frequently but the food was subpar at best. Sometimes she was simply that desperate.
Eden mentally reminded herself for the millionth time that if she didn't want to have to move back in with her mother and deal with her constant nagging that she needed this job. Even if she did have a horrible headache brewing from all the screaming kids.
She could take some Advil on her break but that wasn't for another fifteen minutes. She wasn't sure if she would make it that long.
She headed back into the kitchen and took out a pizza and tray of sodas for a birthday party willing herself to get through it. As she was setting the pizza down on the table, a kid ran behind her and made the tray of sodas go flying. Most of it landed behind her but her shoes were soaked and it splashed all over her pants as well.
To make things even better, Freddie Funnington—the mascot in a dog costume with a giant head wearing a baseball cap, shorts, and a colorful t-shirt with an F on it—tripped and fell on Eden so she landed chest-first onto the sticky puddle on the carpet.
The icing on the cake was getting rug burn on her elbows during the fall. Now she was completely covered in soda AND in pain.
"I'm so sorry, are you okay?!" a male voice panicked from inside the dog head before realizing customers were watching and he had broken character. He quickly switched back to his Freddie Funnington voice, which was reminiscent of a puppet's from an old TV show. "Oopsiedoodles, what a mess! Let Freddie help you up there, friend."
Freddie offered an oversized paw to Eden and she accepted it in total humiliation. The only thing that could make this situation worse now was if the customers complained and she got fired. She didn't think her ego could take the blow of being fired from this sort of establishment.
She pasted on her best customer service smile as she faced the people at the table that were all staring at the train wreck in front of them in varying degrees of astonishment or amusement. She wasn't sure which was worse.
"I apologize for the inconvenience! Let me go get new sodas for you right away," she said sweetly before fleeing into the kitchen.