12 Frustration

Honestly, finally having another person I can bounce ideas from is cathartic. Granted, that 'person' is a Tsukumogami that can only communicate through vague bursts of emotion, but my Eyes of God can bridge the gap fairly easily.

Having an infinite well of knowledge I can access with my eyes is good and all, but doing so makes my head hurt, and that pain increases exponentially the deeper I search. I've become somewhat used to it over the past year, but numbness doesn't equate to adapting. I still get nosebleeds pretty often.

So having someone that can tell me if something is going to blow up in my face is nice, even if Kanada can only do it by feeling.

Oh, and I named the hammer 'Kanada'. Because I'm an unimaginative stick.

It's been several months since I dug Kanada up from the soil. I'm back to school now, though I do very little actual learning while I'm there. I mostly sit there and zone out, as I've been doing for basically the past year. My eyes will forever remain a cheat, and I will gladly exploit it as much as I can.

My free time is spent training, making Ofudas, and doing homework. It sounds spartan—and it is—but I at least have Kanada and my family to stop myself from feeling lonely.

And it's…weird, I guess. My first few months in this life have been hectic, and suddenly there's nothing. No monsters, no kidnappings, no worries. Just me and my scholarly journey. I like it, but it does feel weird.

That aside,

"Kyoto, huh?" I frown. "So not something I can do."

It's been a couple days since I first pulled Kanada from the ground. After some thinking, I wanted to see where most Youkai are. It was an idle curiosity, mostly. It's the first time I've encountered something that won't straight up kill me, after all.

What my eyes found is…disturbing.

Kyoto is the capital of Youkai; nearly all Youkai live there, though not all. It's split into two factions: the East and the West. Together the two sides uphold the secret society of Youkai, both hiding it away from the common man and creating a bastion against potential threats from in and outside.

And I should've been content with that. I should've backed away.

But I refused. I peered deeper, my eyes reached further, and what I found is strange at best and downright appalling at worst.

There is a congregation known as the Five Principal Clans. They're five distinguished clans that have purified evil spirits from ancient times. They hold an agreement with the East Youkai Faction; a treaty of neutrality between the two.

My eyes showed me otherwise. Their suspicion towards all things supernatural are held to an almost fanatic degree. That neutrality is held up as best as it can be, but whenever a Youkai stumbles across the clans, the response is often brutal. And that brutality has only increased as time went by, creating tension between the clans and the East Youkai Faction.

But more appallingly is what happens within. Sacred Gears—weapons forged by God—will inhabit human souls in an almost random manner. And if a child of the clans is born with a Sacred Gear? They are ostracized, brutalized, and when they can provide nothing more to their clans, they are thrown away.

My eyes are, in that sense, cruel. Without restraint, it showed me everything. Every Youkai they 'accidentally' killed, every child they brutalized, every innocent life they broke for the sake of 'purifying evil'. Some done because of fanaticism, some done through naivety, and some through sheer sadistic joy.

I saw it all in incredible clarity. In that moment, I lived years in my mind while seconds passed in real life. Each name-, each forgotten victim that went unburied, they were all seared into my mind.

And once it all ended, I came to reality to find Kanada shaking in worry, to find my shirt drenched in red from the river of blood falling from my nose.

I felt no pain, for how could I? Compared to the pain and shame those people felt, the tingling sharpness in my head was nothing.

So now here I am, sitting by my desk as I mull over what to do. A 'Healing' Ofuda is stuck to my left arm, its characters softly glowing. Kanada is placed just next to my arm, still occasionally shaking in worry. The small trash bin just left of my desk is nearly filled with tissue papers, all red and soaked in blood. My previous bloodied shirt is carefully hidden under my bed.

Those people my eyes showed me hold no connection to me. I don't feel responsible for them in any way, but I can't deny how my blood is boiling from all I saw. I want to warn them, to warn the Youkai, but what can I do? I can't just waltz up to Kyoto and say that the Five Clans aren't to be trusted. There is some suspicion from the Youkai, but it won't be enough.

So what can I do?

What should I do?

In the end, there is little I can do about the situation. I can't warn the Youkai, and I certainly won't be able to face the Five Clans myself. I'm too weak, and more than anything, I don't think I'll even be able to go to Kyoto at this moment.

But the frustration remains, boiling in my chest and coiling around my ribcage. It feels like someone is crushing me.

Days pass. School comes and goes, training is done, Ofudas are made, but the feeling remains.

So I train more. The number of 'Weight' Ofudas I apply onto myself increases steadily. The amount of Primal Energy I burn through to facilitate my growth exponentially grows. I encounter several painful 'thresholds', and my body is broken and remade every time.

So I write more. My knowledge of Ofudas grow. I discover more useful Ofudas I can use. A 'Silence' Ofuda that stops all sounds in a specific area. An 'Explosion' Ofuda that violently explodes on impact. An Ofuda that passively collects Primal Energy from the air, allowing me to drain Primal Energy from the air.

And still it isn't enough. My eyes show me just how strong the clans are, capable of commanding elements, sacred beasts, and even exerting a minor Authority given to them by Shinto Gods.

I'll be reduced to dust before them.

So I train more. I learn more. I discover more.

(Back then, I claimed that I'm not responsible for them, that I'm just training so that I can warn the Youkai of the truth.

Really, I was just lying to myself. I was too much of a busybody to ignore something like that. Maybe it's all I went through in my previous life, or maybe it's my human decency, but seeing all those people be so cruelly treated had set my heart alight.)

Before I know it, months have gone by. Another year has come, I've gone up a grade, and my age finally hits the double digits. Not much has changed about my daily life. My mornings are still spent in school, my afternoons are still spent to train, and nights are used to create more Ofudas.

Though it'd be wrong to say that nothing's changed. All the Primal Energy 'thresholds' I've broken through has furthered my change. The strands of white hair have grown, covering a small patch on the left half of my head. The glow in my eyes have become almost distracting in their intensity. My body has grown even taller.

I've taken to using an 'Illusion' Ofuda at all times to cover the first two up. There's not much I can do about my body though. At least my height isn't anything too absurd just yet.

By that point, nearly two years have gone by since I first came into this world. Nearly two years of relative peace and calm in a world filled with monsters and gods.

Perhaps it was inevitable that something happened.

It's night at the moment. I'm sitting atop my roof, taking occasional nibbles from the unwrapped melon bread in my hands. Kanada is laid atop my thigh, silent as they enjoy the night sky. But I'm tense, bothered by something I can't quite describe.

All day long, I've been feeling uneasy. There's been this nagging feeling in the back of my head, a sense that something is coming.

Then I feel it. Someone has just entered Kuoh Town. That isn't anything surprising, but the feeling I sense from them is achingly familiar. So I activate my eyes, and my view expands out across the entire town.

And immediately, I realize why I feel like so.

It's a girl, several months older than me. Her hair's a deep black, and her eyes violet. She's quite pretty, or she would've been if she isn't so haggard. Her skin is covered in grime, and her clothes are nothing more than rags. And she's shaking slightly as she walks into the town, every step filled with fear.

I know her. She was one of the people my eyes saw several months back.

Himejima Akeno. A child of the Himejima Clan, later kicked out when they discovered that she had the blood of a Fallen Angel in her veins. Now she's on the run, having made it to Kuoh.

More than that, I can see the strings that tie our fates together. It's similar to the strings that bound Aika and I, but the one I have with Akeno is hundreds of times stronger. If Aika is someone I'll come across from time to time, then Akeno is someone I'll be with for most of my life.

But then my eyes tell me something worrying.

Akeno has a tail. The Himejima Clan, not wanting the 'stain' on their family to escape, has given chase and are now closing in on the poor girl. She doesn't seem to know it just yet, or maybe she does but is simply resigned to her fate.

I narrow my eyes.

I won't let that happen.

So I stand up, placing Kanada into the holster on my hip and eating what remains of my melon bread. I leap down onto the streets, the impact barely felt on my enhanced body.

I take a breath, then two.

And with Primal Energy rushing through my legs, I begin running.