Episode 12

We had barely survived the chaos of the Market District and the aftermath of the Potion of Ultimate Desires, and all I wanted to do was sit back, relax, and enjoy some peace. But in Lavatoria, peace was a mythical concept, one I'd given up hoping for a long time ago.

Nixie, Ursha, and I decided to hit a local tavern for some food and drinks, mostly to get our minds off the disaster that had unfolded earlier. I figured we'd have a calm evening, eat a decent meal, and for once, not have something weird happen.

Of course, I was wrong.

The tavern we chose was The Bottomless Barrel, a dimly lit establishment that smelled faintly of stale beer and roasted meat. The clientele was rowdy but seemed harmless enough, and the bartender, a burly man with a scruffy beard, greeted us with a wide grin as we walked in.

"What'll it be, folks?" he asked, wiping down the bar. "We've got ale, stew, and a house special you won't want to miss."

Ursha, ever the carnivore, immediately went for the stew. "I'll take a bowl of whatever you've got, and a pint of your strongest ale."

Nixie leaned against the bar, her eyes scanning the room for potential trouble, or maybe something interesting. "I'll take an ale too," she said, before glancing at me. "And I suppose you'll be wanting... water?"

"I guess," I muttered. "It's not like I can drink anything else."

The bartender chuckled, clearly amused by the sight of a talking toilet in his tavern, but he didn't press the issue. He quickly filled Ursha and Nixie's orders, while I sat near the table, trying not to feel out of place. For once, it seemed like we might actually have a normal evening.

But, of course, Lavatoria had other plans.

As Ursha and Nixie enjoyed their drinks, a mysterious woman caught my attention from across the tavern. She was seated alone at a small table, her dark eyes watching me with an intense curiosity that sent a shiver through my porcelain body. Her hair was long and jet black, cascading down her shoulders like ink, and her skin was pale, almost unnaturally so. Her lips were painted a deep, alluring red, and she wore a low-cut dress that left little to the imagination.

Something about her gaze made me feel... uncomfortable.

Before I could even warn Nixie or Ursha, the woman stood and sauntered over to our table, her hips swaying hypnotically with every step. Her eyes never left mine as she approached, and when she spoke, her voice was a soft, sultry purr.

"Well, well," she said, her gaze flicking up and down my porcelain frame. "What an... interesting creature we have here."

"Uh, can I help you?" I asked, trying not to sound as nervous as I felt.

The woman smiled, her lips curling into a seductive grin. "I'm just... intrigued. A sentient toilet, so full of power, yet so... unguarded. What brings you to a place like this?"

Nixie and Ursha both looked up from their drinks, but before they could say anything, the woman gently placed her hand on my porcelain surface. The contact sent a strange ripple of energy through me, something was off about her, and I could feel it.

"You're a succubus, aren't you?" Nixie asked bluntly, her eyes narrowing.

The woman chuckled softly. "Very perceptive, little rogue. Yes, I am. But don't worry, I'm not here to cause trouble. I just couldn't resist the opportunity to meet someone... special like your friend here." She leaned in closer, her eyes locking onto mine. "So much power inside of you, and yet... you've barely scratched the surface of what you can do, haven't you?"

Ursha grunted, clearly not impressed. "He's not interested. Go find someone else to play with."

But the succubus ignored her, her fingers still trailing along my porcelain surface. "Oh, but I think he is interested," she purred, her voice dripping with seduction. "In fact, I think he's dying for a little... relief."

Before I could protest, she flicked her fingers, and a glowing glass of some kind of liquor appeared in front of me.

"What's that?" I asked, eyeing the drink suspiciously.

The succubus smirked. "Just a little something to help you loosen up. Go on, drink. I promise it'll make you feel... amazing."

Nixie and Ursha both stood up, ready to stop her, but the succubus waved her hand, and suddenly both of them froze in place, unable to move.

"Don't worry," she whispered, her voice low and intimate. "They'll be just fine. But you, my dear..." She slid her hand across my porcelain penis, causing it to extend almost immediately. "You're about to feel better than you've ever felt in your life."

I wanted to scream, to shout for help, but my body was already reacting to her touch. The drink hovered in front of me, and without thinking, I opened up and drank. The liquid flowed through me, and instantly, a wave of heat and pleasure surged through my body.

"Oh no," I muttered, feeling my entire porcelain frame start to tremble. The succubus smiled wider, her eyes gleaming with hunger as she continued to caress my now fully extended porcelain appendage.

And then she started to suck the seed out of me.

I felt a surge of energy leave my body as she drained me, her lips wrapped around my glowing porcelain penis as she sucked the magical seed from within me. Each time she drained me, I felt weaker and weaker, my body trembling with exhaustion.

"Stop..." I whispered, but the succubus only moaned in pleasure, clearly enjoying every second of it.

I could feel cracks starting to form along my porcelain body, my strength ebbing away with each pull of her lips. She was taking too much, and I didn't know how much longer I could last.

Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, the door to the tavern slammed open, and in stormed Ursha, her muscles bulging, her eyes blazing with fury.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" she roared, charging forward like a freight train.

The succubus barely had time to react before Ursha grabbed her by the arm and flung her across the tavern, sending her crashing into a table. The succubus hit the ground with a thud, groaning in pain as she tried to get back up.

"You mess with my friend, you mess with me," Ursha growled, towering over the succubus with a fist raised.

Nixie, who had finally broken free from the succubus's spell, joined Ursha's side, her dagger drawn. "I suggest you start explaining yourself before we send you back to whatever hell you crawled out of."

The succubus, now looking far less confident, raised her hands in surrender. "Wait! Please! I... I didn't mean to hurt him! I just needed... energy."

Ursha crossed her arms, glaring down at the trembling succubus. "You almost cracked him apart, you leech."

The succubus's eyes filled with tears as she struggled to explain. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I've been starving for weeks... I've been cast out of my coven, and I've had nothing to feed on... I thought maybe I could take a little, just enough to survive." She sobbed, clutching her arms around herself as if to shield against the world's cruelty.

I watched, my body still trembling, feeling both weak and... strangely sorry for her. Sure, she'd almost shattered me, but there was something pitiful about the way she looked now, like someone who had nothing left.

Ursha, however, wasn't convinced. "You nearly killed him. Why should we let you live?"

The succubus sniffled, wiping her eyes. "I've got nowhere else to go. My coven won't take me back. I'm... I'm desperate."

Nixie sighed, lowering her dagger slightly. "She's a succubus, Ursha. She feeds off energy. If she doesn't, she'll die."

Ursha grunted but didn't look happy. "Fine. But if you try anything like this again, I'll crush you myself. Got it?"

The succubus nodded quickly, her eyes wide with fear. "I swear... I won't hurt anyone again."

As the tension in the tavern eased, I let out a sigh of relief, my porcelain body still cracked but holding together. "Well, that was... an experience."

The succubus glanced at me with a mixture of guilt and shame. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean for it to go that far."

I waved her apology off. "Just... don't do it again."

Ursha helped me steady myself as I groaned in exhaustion, feeling the cracks spreading along my porcelain frame. I never imagined I'd be nearly shattered by a succubus, yet, here we were, standing in a tavern that still smelled like roast meat and questionable decisions. Nixie, arms crossed, kept a wary eye on the succubus, who was now curled up in a corner, sulking like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"I'm never drinking again," I muttered, my glowing porcelain penis finally retracting. "That liquor had some serious side effects."

Ursha snorted. "Oh, I'm sure it was the drink and not the fact that you're a walking toilet with a magic dick."

Nixie glanced down at me and gave a sly grin. "You sure you don't want another round? You seemed to be really enjoying it there for a moment."

"Let's never talk about this again," I groaned, shaking off the lingering tingle of magical exhaustion.

The succubus, who now looked much less seductive and much more pitiful, peeked up from her corner, her lips quivering. Her once sultry, confident demeanor had crumbled, and she looked like a kid who'd been caught sneaking candy before dinner.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, clutching her arms around her knees. "I didn't mean to... I just... I was so hungry."

Nixie raised an eyebrow. "Hungry? You sucked the life out of Jake like he was a buffet."

Ursha cracked her knuckles, her eyes narrowing as she loomed over the succubus. "You nearly shattered him. You're lucky I didn't rip your head off the moment I walked in."

The succubus's eyes widened with fear. "Please! I-I didn't mean to! I just needed... energy."

Nixie sighed, tilting her head in exaggerated disbelief. "Sure, you 'needed' energy, and Jake just so happened to have a glowing porcelain hose you wanted to drain dry."

Ursha let out a snort that sounded dangerously close to a laugh. "Glowing porcelain hose. I like that one. Hey, Jake, maybe that should be your nickname now: Glowing Hose!"

I groaned. "Please don't give me any more nicknames. I have enough problems."

But before things could spiral further into humiliation for me, the succubus sniffled, wiping her eyes. "I... I didn't mean for it to go that far. I've been cast out of my coven. I haven't been able to feed in weeks. I thought maybe I could just take a little... just enough to survive. But I got carried away."

Ursha folded her arms, staring down at her with a mixture of disgust and annoyance. "You've got about three seconds to explain why we shouldn't smash your face into the floorboards, succubus."

The succubus gulped, her red eyes darting between us. "I swear! I'm not loyal to Lord Flushmore. I hate him. I was banished from my coven for refusing to serve him. They cast me out like trash. I've been wandering, starving, trying to find any way to survive. Please... I'm desperate."

Nixie, ever the sharp one, narrowed her eyes. "And why should we believe you? You just tried to suck Jake dry. Literally."

The succubus looked down at the floor, her lip trembling again. "I... I thought I could control it. But when I felt his power..." Her eyes flicked up to me, still red and wet with tears. "It's so strong. I've never felt anything like it. I didn't mean to hurt him, I swear."

Ursha raised an eyebrow. "So, what? We're supposed to just let you go? You nearly cracked our toilet man here, and now you're playing the 'woe is me' card? I don't buy it."

I was about to agree when I looked over at the succubus again. She really did look pathetic, like she'd been through hell and was barely clinging on. Her clothes were tattered, her face streaked with dirt, and the confidence she had oozed earlier was nowhere to be found.

"Well, she didn't kill me," I muttered, half to myself.

Ursha rolled her eyes. "Because I knocked her out before she could!"

Nixie sighed, her hand resting on the hilt of her dagger. "Look, she's a succubus. They feed off energy. It's what they do. If she doesn't, she'll probably die. But if she's not with Lord Flushmore... maybe we can use her. Maybe she knows something we don't."

Ursha raised an eyebrow. "Use her? For what? Toilet-boy's personal masseuse?"

"Oh yeah, because that's definitely what I want after being nearly sucked dry!" I shot back, half-exasperated, half-mortified.

The succubus, Mira, as she quietly introduced herself, stood up slowly, wiping her face and trying to compose herself. "I can help you. I know the Underworld Flush like no one else. I've been down there for years. I know the secret paths, the traps, the places where Flushmore's power is weakest. If you spare me... I'll guide you. I swear."

Nixie seemed to be considering it, and even Ursha, though still clearly skeptical, didn't seem as eager to bash her skull in anymore.

"You know where Lord Flushmore's weaknesses are?" Nixie asked, tilting her head. "And you'll help us? No funny business?"

Mira nodded frantically. "Yes! No tricks. No games. I just want to live. I can be useful. Please."

Ursha groaned, clearly displeased with the situation. "So, what? We keep her around, make sure she doesn't try to suck the life out of anyone else, and hope she doesn't turn on us?"

Nixie shrugged. "It's not like we haven't dealt with worse."

I groaned again, feeling the cracks in my porcelain body. "Look, if she's useful and can help us stop Flushmore, I say we give her a chance. But the second she tries anything funny, she's out. And by 'out,' I mean we let Ursha punt her into a wall."

Ursha cracked her knuckles with a menacing grin. "Sounds like a deal."

Mira looked between us, relief washing over her face. "Thank you... thank you so much. I promise I won't betray you. I'll help you however I can."

Nixie gave her one last skeptical look, then turned back to Ursha and me. "Alright, then. Let's get out of here before this place decides to collapse under the weight of Jake's humiliation."

Ursha chuckled. "You're one lucky toilet, Jake. Not many can say they've been through what you have and lived to tell about it. Though I guess if anyone asks, you can say you've been drained by a succubus and walked away in one piece."

I groaned again, the embarrassment fully settling in. "Yeah, let's not make that a story, okay?"

With Mira now in tow, our reluctant, possibly dangerous new ally, we made our way out of The Bottomless Barrel, hoping we wouldn't regret our decision to let her live. As we stepped into the night air, I couldn't shake the feeling that this whole situation was going to come back to bite me... literally.

And yet, for some bizarre reason I couldn't help but laugh.