75

"Barry-" I call his name out, even if he was only a few feet away from me in my kitchen, as I grab the huge tray of the batch of cookies Barry and I were making just for the hell of it, the trail being too hot for me to hold even through the oven-mittens.

He's quick to come behind me, and goes to grab the tray from me, as I gasp, causing me to stop him by setting the tray back in the oven, leaning back into his chest, "It's too hot- you'll burn yourself."

"No I won't, come on-" He grabs my hands over my over-mittens, helping me grab the tray, shut the oven and set it on the counter top.

I slip the mittens off, grabbing one of the three frostings we had bought from the store, spooning some out and holding for Barry to eat, "Taste."

He smiles lightly, before leaning over, eating the frosting off the spoon, as I question, "Is it good frosting?"

"All frostings, good frosting." He swallows, running a hand through his messy hair.

"Not when there's too much of it." I reasoned, pointing the spoon at him.

"Mmm." He nods, "You're right."

"I'm always right." I drop the spoon onto the counter over a napkin, my eyes falling onto the cookies we had made.

He wraps his arms around me from behind, playing a kiss on my head, "I don't know how you convinced me to stay in and make cookies with you for our date."

"I mean- you wanted to go to dinner but- I think that's just too pricey." I spin in his arms, facing him, placing my hands on his chest, "If you ever want to have dinner with me- we can stay home and make dinner. We don't need to go to such a pricey place- where you can blow all your money off."

He smiles, "You're right."

"I told you. I'm always right." I kiss his cheek.

"Not about the part where you said you can actually bake." Barry teases, a smile on his face.

"Okay- . I'm good at the mixing." I defended myself.

He gives me a look, as I continued, "Oh come on- don't tell me you aren't having fun watching me make a mess of mixing and trying to press it on the tray."

"I am- I really am." He laughs quietly, causing me to smile again.

We made eye contact once more, a genuine smile on both of our faces, as I noticed him lean in slightly, then press a kiss to my lips.

I kiss back almost right away, my heart almost leaping right out of my chest, this being the first time I've actually kiss him in a while, as my hands move and grabs onto his face, holding it.

His arms wrap around my waist tighter, pulling me close, as we started to make out in the middle of the messy kitchen. I was dressed in a pair of leggings and an oversized crewneck sweater that I didn't mind getting dirty, while Barry was dressed in a pair of jeans and a white t shirt, the white t shirt being the one under his button off he had taken off before we started.

My hands move to his hair, as his hands grabs onto my thighs, picking me up, turning and setting me on the counter opposite of where everything was set up, his hands resting on my waist under my sweater.

My eyes snap open, remembering something I had forgotten to tell him when we started baking cookies, as I pull away, "Barry-"

"What?" He murmurs, opening his eyes, looking at me.

"We made chocolate chips cookies. And we have frosting. How are we going to eat chocolate chip cookies with frosting? That simply doesn't go together." I told him, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear, before bringing my hands to his, running my fingers through it to fix it.

"Did you just pull away to tell me that?" Barry questions, his eyes slightly wide with amusement, a grin playing at his lips.

"Yes-" I nodded.

"God- I'm never going to get enough of you." Barry wraps his arms around me tight, burying his face into my shoulder, a laugh leaving his lips.

-

I let out a shaky breath, sniffling quietly, dabbing under my eyes to wipe away any extra tears. I had spent that last hour, hid away in my apartment, in tears. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to do at all.

The guilt of having something going on with Barry, but Iris still having feelings for him consumed me. I didn't want to end what I had with Barry, because being with him made me happy. I couldn't give it up. But if I continued to be with Barry, Iris could be hurt over and over, and I couldn't do that to her.

I couldn't let her feel what I felt when he was completely in love with her.

I couldn't let her feel what I felt the short time Barry was with Patty, or Linda.

I couldn't.

I made my way into Star Labs, and into the cortex, keeping my head down.

"You saw Sam Scudder and Rosalind Dillion escape through a window?" Caitlin confirms what Joe was telling us.

"Like I said, he grabbed her hand. They walked to the window, then poof, they were gone." Joe explained.

"I would say that's impossible but we live in Central City." I mutter, as Barry smiles at me lightly from the corner of my eye, as I kept my stare on the ground.

"So mirrors, windows- it sounds like he can travel through anything with a reflective surface." Barry spoke, running a hand through his hair.

"How does he even do that?" Iris questions.

"He must be able to link Einstein-Rosen bridges to anything with high solar reflectance, right?" Harry looks at Caitlin.

"So he creates wormholes through reflections." Caitlin says. "That's a new one."

"Look, I can't pretend to understand or care about the science of it all, but we need to find Dillion and Scudder before something really bad happens." Joe spoke, "I'm gonna go old school at the precinct. I'll see you later." Joe walks out.

My eyes were red and fully glossy, as I kept my stare on the ground; completely forgetting I was in the room with everyone, the tears in my eyes threatening to spill, as Cisco's voice makes me snap my head up and look at him, "Zee- are you okay?"

"Yeah-" my voice comes out cracked, as I clear my throat quick, my voice weak, "I mean- yeah. I'm fine."

Caitlin was already shaking her head, a look of sympathy clear on her face, Harry looking at me with a look similar to that also.

"No- you're not." Barry looks at me, his eyes scanning over my face, starting to walk over to me.

Iris opens her mouth to speak, but I spoke before her, causing her to stop.

"I'm- fine." I whisper, before turning and leaving the room quickly, walking into the speed lab, my tears as I covered my face with my sleeves, letting out quiet sobs.

I heard footsteps behind me, and within seconds, I was turned around quick and pulled into someone's chest, as they held me tight. I took in their scent, already knowing that it was Barry.

"I don't know what to do- Barry." I cry quietly, my hands moving so he could see my eyes, as I let myself loosely cover my mouth still, "I don't know what to do at all."