death

I was minding my own business when I noticed a piece of paper on the floor. It seemed unimportant to most people, right? That doesn't mean that it can't cause an accident. A person can step and slip on it, especially since our classroom has slippery floors. A person can hit his head and receive a concussion.

Yes, a piece of paper is dangerous when not noticed. Most people think that insignificant things, stuff can stay just that, insignificant. Unimportant but I'm pretty sure people will regret ignoring them when it finally caused damage or some kind of incident.

Like a pin innocently laying there. Of course, no one pays attention and ignores the little piece of thing and go on about their daily lives. Only when an unfortunate person steps on it do they pay attention to that little piece of pin. Only then do they remove the hazard and deem it hurtful.

There are a lot of things like the piece of paper and pin I mentioned earlier. A die or a piece of rock. Those things are simply trivial, simply a foolish thing to waste your attention to. Yet, those frivolous things can cause the butterfly effect. The smallest of thing can affect the biggest of event.

I watched as a person slips because of the paper I was staring at. I didn't bother warning him, he should have been paying attention to his surroundings. After all, sometimes, the smallest of things can be the biggest of happiness. A piece of chocolate from a father in abroad can be that little thing that can make you so happy.

"Oof!"

"Man, you gotta be blind not seeing that ."

"Thanks for the warning, dude."

"Anytime, pal."

His friend merely grinned at him, not even bothering to help him before moving on. The sarcasm was thick in their voice and I couldn't help but wonder why they seem to be fixated on using it. For a person like me, I don't understand what's the use of it.

My hand wrapped around a pen and my thoughts wandered off while twirling the pen in my hand. Insignificance. Is it really all that? Everything in the world is a mystery and there was one mystery that I cannot solve no matter how many research I do. The Afterlife.

There are various kinds of beliefs that different people believe in. And I, a person who somehow value the insignificant things in life, believes that the Afterlife is nirvana. We're free from all the pain and suffering, from all the dirty deeds in the world. It's a place where we can truly relax, a place of never ending comfortness.

And then, I didn't think too much on death as much as I did on the Afterlife. Death. It's such a scary thing that I usually avoid the topic. People who had only given up on life are the only ones who do not fear death. Who doesn't anyway? The horrors of never seeing your family ever again. The horrors of forgetting all the precious memories we had. All of it will cease to exist.

We would never be able to remember anything and the worst part, we're not even aware that we forgot so many important people. Life is harsh, life is unfair and no one can say that life chooses few to have better lives than ours. People suffer, young and old, girl and boy, rich and poor. Everyone does.

My mind didn't linger on that particular topic any longer when the bell rang, class already ended. I waited till everyone got out, I didn't want to squeeze myself out. It's not like I won't get out of this room if I left last. I picked up my stuff and went for the door, giving my teacher a brief nod of farewell as I did. He was exhausted, depressed, frustrated, completely... just exhausted.

He hid it well, no one even noticed if they don't look for it. By the way he was clutching his left breast pocket and with tear stained eyes, I would say he lost something, more specifically, someone. I respect him fully, he went to his job and performed normally. He didn't show any signs of depression while teaching.

However, a person could only hide so much. I bet he cried when he excused himself to the bathroom. It didn't help that I noticed a crumpled picture on his desk earlier when I put my work on his table. He was only human, he didn't need to hide his pain. Though, people nowadays are a bit judgemental.

I admit, I'm judgemental myself but I always give that person a second chance if he screwed up. First impressions are important, they say. And if that impression shattered, they'll look at him like he's a completely different person. Admitting that you're judgemental whether you like it or not is impressive. Most people would just let others figure it out themselves.

People who are honest to themselves are more fearsome to those who hide who they truly are as a person. I'm not saying that almost 95% of the human race are cowards. It's just that's how I think. People are the most mysterious creature to ever live. Think vampires are mysterious? No way. Werewolves? Nah uh. People? A 100% mysterious.

Let's say, a vampire is predictable, easily recognized while we humans are unpredictable, we lie. We deceive. We grow stronger. We grow smarter. We find ways to make our lives more comfortable. Ways to make things easier. We evolve. We change. We constantly change to suite our present and future lives.

We are who we are. People are mysterious. I'm mysterious. Everyone is mysterious.

And that is why I ask myself, why did I get in harm's way to save a child from getting ran over by a fourteen wheeler truck when I'm scared of even being hit by a ruler? I'm scared of cats because of childhood trauma. I'm scared of insects. So, if I'm scared of little things that most people don't find scary, being ran over by that huge truck terrifies me.

So, why?

As I ran, all I could think about was shitshitshitshitshitshitshitimgonnaberanoverbyatruckimscaredimscared. Yeah, not really heroic or anything. People are mysterious. And somehow, being mysterious bring them to their inevitable death.

My death was clichéd, sure but I think it's somehow important. As I lay there on the road, half of my body crushed underneath these two huge wheels-of course, don't forget the pool of blood, shattered bones, squashed organs, yeah- I'm getting delusional from blood loss.

As I lay there- like I said earlier before getting off track- I got a good look at the child I saved. His nose was full of snot, his cries were making me cringe, he was dirty and he kept rubbing his eyes but over all, all he's gotten was a scrape on his knee. As I look closer at him, it was only then did I realize who this child belonged to.

He's my teacher's son. His freaking son. Somehow, my bitter feelings vanished and I felt content. I couldn't hear anymore. I can't feel anything at all. My sense of smell was gone, so was my taste. Slowly, dark spots invaded my eyesight. I'm glad. At least, my teacher won't have to feel another loss of a family member. My parents would have been proud. Did I even mention I was an orphan?

My parents died somewhere around two years ago. I was fifteen then. My only aunt offered me a place in her home with her own family but I refused. I didn't want to impose on her so I suggested that she only takes care of my school fees and everything else will be provided by my hard work.

Reluctant as she might have been, I was adamant with my decision. In the end, she told me that if I'm ever in need, she's always there to help. I was touched. Really, I cried like a crybaby then. But even when two years passed, I hadn't need to ask her for help. I found a steady part time job and it paid well enough for my needs. I visited sometimes though, for the sake of not being completely alone.

I was about to let death take over when a voice held me in place. "D-Daddy! This-this lady s-saved me a-andI wasonthe ground a-and wh-whenI opened m-my eyes, this lady isis- WAHHH!!!" I could still hear, only if faint- how peculiar though. I was certain my sense of hearing disappeared already.

When my teacher laid eyes on me, I swear he looked ready to murder someone but then his expression softened and that heartbroken look from earlier returned. "Why?" He didn't call an ambulance, good. He knows I won't make it, considering my condition. I tried to smile but I bet I ended up looking like bloody murder.

"My...ugh... parents died...ugh... two years ago... you lost someone...just recently, right? Ugh... I hope you and... your son live together for as long as you have each other, sir." It didn't go unnoticed how his eyes widened when I mentioned how he lost someone recently.

Those were my last words as darkness finally took over. Good, I was exhausted already anyway.

"Lee? Lee!"

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But then, I found out that the afterlife does exist. Well, a different kind of afterlife from what I believe in but afterlife still. I forgot everything. Not until when my new brother mentioned what I live by.

"Insignifact things can be important, ne, Onee-sama?"