Business partners
My choking doesn't stop until a few minutes. Both are looking at me like I have grown a second head somewhere. Who wouldn't check if they only raised morning in determination to search for their brothers and meet with them and bond with them and if it is possible to know the truth and then a person who is like a stranger but my blood comes into office conference room and to know that he is my brother and I am sitting in front of him while still thinking about would come as a shock. Is it not? It looks like I am dreaming. I pinched myself discreetly or that is what I thought anyway.
A sister and brother. No one would believe us even if I say it. Who would believe it? There sitting in front of was a stranger and I absolutely don't know anything about him. I don't know what colour he likes. I don't know what food he likes. I don't if we played with each other anytime. Heck, I don't even know how he looks until now. This is so fudged up. A sister and brothers bond is so valuable. A pure caring relationship. But to my luck and the unfortunate events that turned in my past this is the first time I am seeing him and he doesn't even know that I am his sister.
Can this get anymore bad? I don't want to really think about these thoughts so instead I focused myself on the positive thoughts. I need so much concentration and self control to not to go to him with using all my strength and hug him hard and burst out crying. He's my brother. And I am his sister. Their sister. But now I am a stranger. A business partner at most. Shocking those thoughts and applying pressure on my positive thoughts to be glad that I even got the chance to meet him I decided to be thankful for it. Deciding this behaviour is unsuitable I politely said him hello as if I didn't just choke on my water as soon as his name is mentioned.But again business is business. I put a professional but warm smile on my face and faced them. Battle again.....
They too masked their expressions back into the blank empty one. Blank eyes stating pure business. Okay we will see what they got. And then the next two hours was spent in the meeting. They were very great at what they were doing. And my elder brother Alessandro was very great. He is passionate and professional about his work. His deals were respectable and profit worthy for both the companies unlike the ones I have dealth with. His answers were monotonous. Mr. Romano is not less any either. I, now understood why both of their companies were in top position in this world. Finally sealing the deal with him after two and half hours I shook his hand once more. Getting up both of them uttered a a sentence along the words 'pleasure to get a deal with you' and turned to go. But for a split second I saw a impressed look on my brother and my both was filled with unexplainable warmth. My elder turned once more for a split second as if trying to seek a puzzle before going out.
I am surprised and shocked to see that I was still not crying like a baby again. I really want to hug my brother, is it something wrong to ask for?. Working on my emotions is the only option I got now. When I saw the impressed look on his face I was very delighted. The love in me for my family strengthened more if it is possible. Growing up, I always wanted someone to be proud of me. To support me once. To feel the feeling how it will be if someone does support you. However I couldn't experience that. But when my eldest brother, unknown to him looked at me for a split second like that my heart warmed up. The intense feeling of love rushed back. I don't need to know about them to love them.
A child after birth trusts and loves her mother without a explanation. The unexplainable bond is with only the family. When a girl was born without a reason she becomes his father's princess. And I love my father even if I didn't see him still now. A unbreakable bond.
I want to call my brother bro or Sandro and the excitement in me to meet my father and call him 'papa' is something which I really want to feel. Knowing my father and brothers and standing in the back ground when they live not knowing that I am their sister and living their lives to the fullest is the worst pain ever. Who could ever tolerate if your family sees you as a stranger. The pain is more powerful and hard than any physical pains I ever felt.
Even though I will wait. I will wait as long as it takes us to be a family. I missed so many memories. So much happiness. So much love and mainly I don't know what is happening in their lives and I won't go again. Because I will not give up. Taking a deep breath and composing myself I pressed the buzzer. The buzzer is for Radha. I smiled again. I probably would have looked like a lunatic right now but there is no one here and there is a hope that I will meet my brother again soon. After all we are business partners.
Business partners........
I smiled with hope and faith in God to meet my family again. Pushing away the sorrow I smiled. Wishing nothing like this happens to anyone in this whole world I smiled. With hope and belief in love I smiled. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath I smiled. Life will never be perfect. I will not be perfect. I am very Iimperfect. If everything was perfect, you would never learn and you would never grow. Life will never be easier but I will live in this difficulties because my family is here. After all they say difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.
I won't cry again. This is my new start. A new hope.....