Immortals Do Shady Deals Too (1)

…

"What, bird food? Are you joking with me, Young Master Du?" Upon hearing the weakness of the lightning spell pro introduced by Du Lengning, Luo Qian spat the tea he had in his mouth out of Rock View House's window at once.

Du Lengning shook his head. "Of course not. This fellow is a Demon Immortal. Demon Immortal, get it? Of every ten weirdos in the Immortal Realm, nine are Demon Immortals."

Luo Qian nodded. "What you said is right too." He touched his chin, looking like he was in deep thought and deliberated inwardly. It seemed like he had to make another trip to the Human Realm. It just so happened that at the very end of the CD that he had previously smuggled for Ling Xiaose had an introduction of that AV1 girl's newest video.

The mere few shots were so hot that Young Master Ling could hardly restrain himself and kept asking Luo Qian to get the new disc for him quickly. Luo Qian was worried that with his 'allowance' being cut recently, Ling Xiaose wouldn't have enough money to pay the bill, so he'd been dragging. This time, he would take it as doing a kind deed and get it for him while he completed his other affairs.

Du Lengning lowered his voice and asked, "Old Luo, are you going to go down again?" Luo Qian nodded, and Du Lengning requested, "Just in time. Bring me a copy of a games magazine, and mail this out for me while you're there."

Luo Qian took the item and inspected it. It turned out to be a voting ticket for a game's beauty pageant. This locally prominent games magazine was holding an animated game cosplay competition to select the prettiest girl in their readers' eyes. Du Lengning cut out the voting ticket from the magazine that Luo Qian had previously brought him; he had already filled in the contestant number of the girl he adored as well as his details.

Luo Qian took one look and his brows knitted together. "Young Master Du, why are the details written in this ticket all mine?" The phone number and address that Du Lengning had listed were those of Luo Qian's 'stronghold' in the Human Realm.

Du Lengning grinned, putting his arm around Luo Qian's shoulders. "The both of us are brothers in this lifetime, yet you won't even do me this small favor?"

Luo Qian glanced at him and revealed a sly smile. "Young Master Du, do you have some ideas at heart? Hmm? Be honest with me, have you taken a fancy to this girl?" He shook the voting ticket in his hand. "If you won't say it, don't blame me for not helping you." As he spoke, he stuffed the voting ticket into Du Lengning's hands.

Du Lengning hurriedly said, "Don't, don't. I'll tell you, alright? Let me tell you, the character that this girl is cosplaying as is precisely my favorite game beauty. Wow, you don't know? She's virtually lifelike. From appearance to aura, she's almost exactly like the beauty in the game!"

Luo Qian thought for a moment, What does your infatuation with a game beauty have anything to do with me? The fact that you can't leave the Immortal Realm to hook up with her also has nothing to do with me. As long as I have enough Immortal Jade, what can't I do for you?

"Sure, no problem, I'll take care of it." Luo Qian patted his own chest.

Returning to his Fushan cave abode with the voting ticket in hand, Luo Qian quickly got ready and prepared to head to the Human Realm.

According to the past Dharmic formulation, Luo Qian abruptly suppressed a breath of Immortal air in his body. At this point, the Immortal air would normally be pushed into that mysterious passage in his body, opening up the spatial passageway that led to the Human Realm. But this time, once the Immortal air was held in his body, it quickly leaked from an unknown place.

Luo Qian faltered. What's going on? How can the compensation theurgy that always worked be ineffective now? One more time!

Immortal air entered his body, but it soon leaked out of an unknown spot like a tire with holes pricked in it.

Luo Qian was a little flustered. He knew that this was not good. He was considered to be doing pretty well in the Immortal Realm now, and it was all because he had this compensation theurgy. If this skill was lost and he had no means of supporting his life hereafter, it would be really difficult to say whether he would be able to live for another 500 years!

He tried several more times in a row, but the outcome was still the same. However, Luo Qian discovered the problem after a few attempts.

It seemed like that leak was not a bottomless pit. After pouring Immortal air into it multiple times, the leaking speed of Immortal air gradually decreased. Could it be that this 'hole' is about to be filled?

Luo Qian decided to sit cross-legged and cultivate diligently. It was not that Tribulation Immortals could not cultivate, it was just that no amount of inhaled or exhaled Immortal air could settle well in the body; thus, cultivating was futile for them. Luo Qian could no longer recall exactly how long it had been since he last cultivated.

After ascending, one could randomly join one of the numerous sects in the Immortal Realm as long as their aptitude was not too terrible. By joining a sect, one could obtain that sect's cultivation method. However, Luo Qian's cultivation method was bought with money.

After drawing Immortal air into his body, all the ceaseless air was sucked into that hole—which seemed to be pervasive—yet he had no idea where the hole was. Luo Qian's body was just a medium.

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

Currently, Luo Qian was only inhaling and not exhaling—drawing in but not letting out. This way, the absorption rate of that hole became slower and slower after an unknown period of time. The absorption gradually subsided, and the hole no longer absorbed the inhaled Immortal air.

Luo Qian opened his eyes and wiped the cold sweat on this forehead. He got quite the scare this time. Ascending to become a Tribulation Immortal was already unlucky enough. If he couldn't even use Tribulation Immortals' only compensation theurgy, he would certainly be the most unlucky one amongst all Tribulation Immortals!

Inhaling deeply, he abruptly suppressed the Immortal air in his body; the passage was pushed open, and with a bang, Luo Qian vanished.

…

Human Realm.

A dozen different kinds of bird food were laid out before Luo Qian. He sat in a garden square, and some plump pigeons were dancing in the middle of the square. Luo Qian scattered the bird food by handfuls, watching to see what kind of bird food the pigeons liked best. That bird food must be the most delicious.

Ultimately, he decided on one specific bird food among the others and picked up the packaging for a look. "Indeed, it's the most expensive one…"

When he was done buying the bird food, Luo Qian made a trip to the post office and mailed the voting ticket to the address that Du Lengning had given him. Then, he went to the electronics mall in the city and bought the newest 18+ movie from a sleazy guy in black frame glasses.

He then bought the latest issue of the game magazine for Du Lengning from the newsstand at the electronics mall's entrance.

Casually flipping through the magazine, he easily found the beauty pageant's colored page. This was a business project advertised by the famous local game magazine for the past six months. It had been going on for five months, nearing the end. Other than publishing voting tickets in magazines, online voting and voting through text messages was also available.

To avoid repeated votes, a security code must be entered during online voting. There were two parts to every security code set, which was available in every magazine. Hence, buying the magazine was still required if one wanted to vote online. Voting through text messages was much more convenient, but it cost a yuan for every voting message.

Actually, to put it bluntly, it was a means of promotion and accumulating wealth.

The entire competition lasted half a year, and a champion would ultimately be decided. The prize was an endorsement contract for a well-known game company. In addition, 20 lucky voters would be randomly selected electronically, winning a 10-day trip to Europe.

Luo Qian casually looked through the magazine and found the number 35 girl that Du Lengning liked. She looked very cold and alluring with makeup on. The indigo eyeshadow brought out her pair of phoenix eyes, her brows thin yet deep. The neat bangs resting on her forehead drew out a blade-like arc. Her sharp chin was slightly lifted, making her gaze appear even colder. She was dressed in a purplish-blue dress; on her wide sleeves were rings of three-finger-wide white edges. One hand rested on her snowy white thigh while the other pressed down on the handle of the long blade behind her back.

"This fellow… so this is his taste?" Luo Qian's head shook endlessly. He was unlike the sons of wealthy families in the Immortal Realm like Du Lengning was. He'd been to the mortal world so many times. Girls these days couldn't be judged when they had makeup on. With makeup, even prehistoric beings could become fashionable beauties.

He continued flipping towards the back. As this issue was last month's first issue, the total poll rankings for the past five months were published. This was to encourage readers to give vigorous support to the girls they liked. The number 35 girl that Du Lengning fancied didn't have a high percentage of the votes. She only occupied fifth place. The contestant in first place had posed in a seductive position. She laid on the ground with her body arched, and her rounded bottom raised. She looked back with a smile as she held a short dagger—stained with red ink to pass off as blood—in her mouth.

Luo Qian nodded. People these days all liked this type of girl—round bottoms, slender waists, and boobs so big that they could squeeze the pope to death. It was no wonder that she could sit firmly in the number one spot and pull open a gap of tens of thousands of votes when compared to second place.

Luo Qian stuffed this magazine into his bosom, found a deserted spot, and returned to the Immortal Realm.

…

Slap!

The magazine was slammed fiercely before Luo Qian.

Du Lengning tightly clenched his fists as he roared, "Old Luo, you simply watched such an unfair pageant play out and did nothing?"

Luo Qian frowned and replied rather discontentedly, "Young Master Du, what do you mean by this?"

Who knew what Du Lengning had in his mind as he actually began earnestly and tirelessly preaching to Luo Qian. "Old Luo, we're Immortals! What are Immortals? In the hearts of those suffering in the Human Realm, they are existences that uphold justice. Haven't you heard those people always murmuring with their mouths—immortals bless us, immortals bless us? This competition is unfair. Are you really going to sit by and watch indifferently?"

Luo Qian glanced at him and suggested coolly, "If you want me to help your sweetheart win, it's not impossible…"

Du Lengning was delighted. "Thank—"

"Hold up!" Luo Qian cut him off and said, "Business is business. To be honest, this magazine is not cheap. Do you see how much it costs? Twenty-six dollars for one! In the competition, there is a difference in votes greater than 30,000 between first place and fifth place. That's equivalent to more than 30,000 magazines. Counting the difference in votes for this final month, it would take at least 40,000 magazines to come to a draw. To guarantee a convincing, overwhelming, superior win for your sweetheart, another 10,000 votes to create a leading advantage is required. That's 50,000 votes. In total"—Luo Qian pulled out the big calculator that he always carried and tapped on it—"that's 130,000! How would I have that much money!"