A BIG BROTHER SO GREAT; OH, SO GREAT

A short while later, they were fast approaching on of the many queues.

"Little Bro' Hao, you wouldn't by any chance have already started to cultivate, have you?" Liu Biao asked, "Those trashy cultivation methods that only peasants would use could harm your future if you persist in them. After all, it isn't easy to fix one's foundations midway..."

"Big- big brother Biao," Cheng Hao called out adorably. "How could I? Our mountain village had one cultivator, only one. And that cultivator wouldn't let even the closest of closest friends look at his secret tomes. Let alone a small, poor and..." he sniffed theatrically, "orphan child like me..." At that Cheng Hao gradually started to slow down and began to sob. It didn't take long before an incessant stream of tears was streaking down his cheeks.

"Ehm, you... You were an orphan?"

"Y-yes... W-w-WAAAAAH! MOMMYYY! DADDYYY! WAAAH!"

Liu Biao panicked when he saw the child cry even more at his question. He felt his heart being stabbed by countless judging gazes.

He hesitated but he then knelt in front of the child, even if it meant dirtying his pristine Inner Sect robes. "Do not worry, Hao'Er!"

[Note: "<insert name>'Er" / "Little <insert name>" are endearing ways to refer to someone younger. In most western cultures, we don't quite have an equivalent, unfortunately, so this might sound foreign to those new to this genre of novel. With that cleared up, we can resume right as Liu Biao shows us how to properly pacify a crying orphan that is missing his parents.]

"You may have no parents, but now your reliable big brother is here! Forget all about them, those hateful pricks! Big brother Biao will protect you from now on!" After saying that, he tightly hugged Cheng Hao and let the boy cry his heart out in his embrace.

After a long while, the child seemed to have finally calmed down and he looked at the older man with even more appreciation and ardour, grinning as his round, golden eyes filled with indescribable gentleness. "Big brother, thank you!"

Liu Biao was stunned, feeling as if just that full-teethed smile would be worth a country's demise. He hurriedly patted the boy's head and turned around, his heartstrings in grave danger of snapping. "Let, let us go now Hao'Er… Yes! Onward, you needn't fear by my side!"

Behind him, Cheng Hao also looked at the wall that was now but a few hundred steps in front of them. An ambitious flame flickered in the depths of his pupils.

"I, Big Brother Biao, will make sure you pass that exam!"

The Inner Disciple solemnly declared.

"You WILL join the Sect."

...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE CAN'T JOIN???" Liu Biao furiously banged his fist on the table.

The wooden furniture immediately fractured into splinters under the immense power of a complete Advanced Stage cultivation base. Thanks to the mighty disciple's actions and fiery temper, all the people nearby immediately gave up on their intentions. They steered away as far as they could from the broken-down table and the three people that had gathered around it. They happily opted for other queues instead.

Sitting at the table, or at least the few splinters that had once been it, was a middle-aged man: he wore a white uniform with a single black stripe on it. The white robe indicated that he was an Elder, yes, but that single stripe showed he was only a mere Vacant Sect Elder... compared to an Inner Disciple, his status, and likely even his cultivation base, was as low as a soldier before the son of his feudal lord.

As if that weren't enough, when the table had been destroyed, the poor guy had found out that the power of this arrogant disciple was more than a whole stage higher than his own…

Ultimately, he could do nothing but pray that this furniture murderer would let the matter go...

"E-e-esteemed inner disciple," he flattered through gritted teeth, "The boy is simply way too young. We can't possibly allow such a young kid in our sect without his guardi- Yes, yes, esteemed Inner Disciple claims to be his guardian now, but- Deepest apologies, for me to misspeak again! I believe that to be true wholeheartedly! None-Nonetheless, let alone the fact that we wouldn't be able to have an adequate measure of his talent due to his age... The rules for non-cultivators would require him to pass through a vicious and arduous trial! If he attempted it as he is now, he could very well perish!" The Vacant Elder tried his best to navigate the conversation while juggling Liu Biao's increasingly fiery gaze.

Hearing the more than reasonable justification-

"Does it seem like I, your grandfather, gives a dog's crap about your rules??? If I say crawl, you crawl, if I say bark like a dog, you bark… and bring me back the stick I threw at you while at it! And so, if I say my little brother here will join the sect... HE. WILL. JOIN. THE. SECT. Am I clear?"

...of course.

Facing Liu Biao's, an Inner Disciple's, cursing, the Vacant Elder could only shut his mouth and not retaliate, hoping that the other party would eventually calm down... or a miracle happened.

"Big brother, you don't have to go as far... I will come back in a few years, how about it?"

Hearing that pleasant, bright voice and the words just spoken, the Vacant Elder felt as if an angel had descended. He was on the verge of tears.

'It's a miracle! Oh sweet darling, bless your soul! Now, all that's left is for this obnoxious twat to drop the matter and-'

"Look here now… Are you listening to me?" Liu Biao leaned in threateningly, tunnel visioning on the Elder so much that he didn't appear to have even heard the child's pleas, "Do you even KNOW who I am???"

'FUCK!'

The Elder's eyes twitched: he did not get paid enough for this!

Now that he thought about it, the table was his.

…it wasn't cheap.

"Big brother!" Meanwhile, as the Vacant Elder was lost in his thoughts, Cheng Hao lamented in his place. The golden-eyed child had begun to tug at the older boy's clothing and urge him to stop, but all had been in vain: having completely immersed himself in his role of the "Greatest Brother", Liu Biao wouldn't listen to reason.

"Senior... I-I... Really can't-" The Elder finally managed to stutter…

"Are you not listening to ME? To MEEE?"

...But when he heard Liu Biao's reply, the poor guy found himself looking for a club or something to smash into that guy's crazed face, regardless of the difference between their status.

Unable to endure this sorry sight any longer, Cheng Hao gritted his pearly teeth and finally spoke out: "Big brother! I will just take the test! Esteemed Elder, there will be no problems if This Junior can pass the new disciple acceptance exam, right?"

"Uh?"

"Eh?"

Both the examination elder and Liu Biao looked at him with wide eyes and stopped arguing.

Alas, as the adorable child finally entered his vision, the enraged Inner Sect Disciple seemed to have calmed down. "Little brother, you should know that vicious traps and monsters would await you were you to take the test... You shouldn't throw your precious life away. Just leave it to big brother here!"

"I won't die!" Cheng Hao yelled as he teared up, hitting Liu Biao's side. "Please big brother, just stop arguing! Meanie! You're scaring me!"

Liu Biao was stunned.

Scaring him? But… But I am the world's biggest brother!

Wait… could it be that, being the greatest, my love is just too much to handle for the average person?

Oh, the melancholy of it all; I can understand it, but will the world? As the one in the know, it is I who must still make that effort; unwaveringly!

"Little brother, I know it might seem scary at first… But for the Greatest Brother to truly be that great- mm?" Liu Biao gently explained his newfound understanding to- mm?

Step, step, step.

But before he could say anymore, Cheng Hao had already walked towards the area where the middle-aged vacant elder was sitting. There, he decisively stepped on the teleportation hexagram laid on the ground, the very one that would bring him to the test's location, and vanished.

"..."

"..."

Seeing the scene play out before their eyes, both the Elder and Liu Biao stared at the fading teleportation hexagram with blank expressions.

"Uhm, Senior? Does that little brother of yours perhaps have enormous strength even if he is so young? W-what special physique or treasure does he have to be so fearless? I'm in awe of his talent!" the Elder managing the examination asked Liu Biao: for the child to be so confident… was he perhaps a genius that had begun cultivating at such a young age?

At that, however, the black-robed disciple immediately paled. Treasures? Special physique? That orphan, poor village boy?

"He... He... HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY!!!!!"

Both Liu Biao and the elder looked at the fading lights of the hexagram in horror.

"NOOOOOOO!!!" Liu Biao tried to step on the hexagram before it disappeared with a huge leap, powered by his cultivation… but failed miserably and fiercely slammed into the wall.

He stood up with a bloodied nose and disheveled hair, "STOP IT! Stop the new disciple acceptance exam! NOW!"

"I cannot!" cried the panicking Elder, "By the rules, now that it already holds a disciple in it, the exam has already started: unless he dies, nobody else can go in! Only a few among my seniors can forcefully access an occupied examination array once it is occupied!"

"And where are they???"

"...they, they ran away just earlier? Right after the table burst?"

"Little Hao! NOOOOOO!"

Liu Biao started weeping on the ground where he knelt. He began rethinking his whole life: perhaps, just perhaps… there might be a sliver of a chance he was not the greatest brother?

And so, the encounter between the self-conceited Liu Biao and the adorable child who met his end far too soon -may his soul find peace- ended just like that.

The whole charade aside, they might just encounter each other in the future. However, by then they would already be travelling very distinct paths.

And maybe, just maybe...

Had the Advanced Stage cultivator remained even just a little more clear-headed instead of drowning in his grief, he would've probably felt something was… off.

Unfortunately, it would only be much, much later, that the Inner Sect Disciple would finally discover that his belt had gotten one Heaven&Earth pouch lighter...