3 -Unending Shepard Tone-
I'm calmly panicking. Luckily no one here notices my strange behavior (I hope). I am passive on the outside even as my thoughts race at speeds where I can barely know what I'm thinking. Ok. What do I know about my situation?
I apparently died. Car accident. And I've somehow ended up in inside Bill Cipher. At least I think I'm Bill. I'm a yellow triangle. Also I'm a baby. The orange triangle is apparently my mother?! There's a dark gray triangle I glimpsed beyond the door who I can only assume is my father...
I don't even know how male and female works with geometric shaped creatures. I just figured the orange one is my mom since she (they?) picks me up and is carrying a bottle that I assume is for me. For all I know the orange one is some kinda nanny. Also, on the topic of food...
Eating is SUPER weird. Orange holds a bottle of milk(?) up to me and carefully brushes a finger along the side of my eye. A gentle movement of up, down, up, down until I blink. Then my eye is a mouth and she puts the bottle in it for me to begin suckling. Also, I'm blind.
Fan-freaking-tastic.
How a species evolved to go blind when they eat is a mystery. They probably have no natural predators. I contemplate this as I suckle. What is this stuff? Doesn't taste like milk. It's bland and faintly tastes of...wheat? Wheat and wheat by products. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. I cough out the bottle and Orange fusses over me.
Of course I don't understand a word she's saying. Shit. Am I going to have to learn this language? Really? I finally finish coughing (choking on wheat drink eww) and I look up at Orange. She looks...fond? It's hard to tell with no face to see. Her eye is curved like she's smiling though. She wipes around my eye with a soft cloth before bringing the bottle back up. I blink my eye into a mouth without prompting and drink more. Hopefully I won't make myself laugh from Night Vale memes this time.
Curse my thought process, I grumble mentally as "waiting for the bus in the rain" begins playing in my head.
Oh god, this was real wasn't it? I'm not dreaming, I really am in some crappy self insert fanfic as a baby Bill Cipher before he became Bill Cipher. What even is my name at this point? Do I even want to know? Apparently Bill's real name was something that can cause head explosions from just hearing it. Or does that only apply to humans? I'm not human right now. But my mind is human, I think? I am so not ready for this.
During my introspection the bottle became empty and I was startled when Orange began shaking me up and down. What? What?! WTF?!
I burped.
Orange cooed at me, put me down on the bed and draped a blanket over me. Ok. Shaking triangle babies is a-ok. Got it. I'm surprised my bed doesn't have bars. Aren't they worried I would crawl off and fall? Orange strokes my head gently and I have trouble keeping my eye open. I'm exhausted already. Barely been awake for a few minutes but geez...
I tried to stay awake but Orange's hand is gentle and my eye slips shut. If I'm lucky this'll all be a dream. I've had weirder.
---
This was NOT a dream.
A routine began over the next few days. I would wake up and try ineffectually to stand up, Orange would come get me for more feeding time or bringing me out to the living room and putting me in a playpen. I see Gray sometimes but they're usually absent. At work maybe? Now that I have more time to observe I've found that the rooms in this house have walls at weird angles and my bed was triangle shaped. I found more triangular furniture littered throughout the house. My room has a triangular door. So do most rooms in the house. There is no TV in the house. I did spy a bookshelf, scarcely filled, but BOOKS! I itched to check out the books. The kitchen was pretty basic. Counter top, stove, refrigerator and washing machine. I'm shocked it's so...normal. What caught my attention was the food dish on the ground. We have a pet?!
I haven't been to all the rooms yet. I hear the sounds of an animal behind one of the doors. That's probably the family pet. I haven't been able to see it and I am very curious what it could be. I make curious sounds at the door and wave my widdle arms at it. Orange says something I don't understand and holds up another bottle.
Still not sure what the heck I'm drinking. It's a white liquid, then again everything here is white except us. I've also found that the reason everything looks flat is because there are no shadows. Everything is white with thick black outlines. There is no depth or shades of gray. Just black and white lines that make up the shape of the world around me.
Everything was flat while still being a 3 dimensional space we can walk in and around. Anything observed will look flat from whichever angle you are seeing it from. We were flat objects, seeing Orange from the side only revealed a black line.
As Orange shook me up for another burping I found myself wondering how my anatomy worked. Do I have organs inside here? Is my body just a hard outer shell to protect some squishy inner bits? Did I have a brain? Well obviously I did or I wouldn't be thinking...right?
Do I bleed if I'm injured? What would it take to injure me? I've felt up my bricks and they feel pretty solid. Can they get cracked? Can the bricks be moved? Can stuff seep into the cracks? How does the whole eye to mouth thing even work?
How does my digestive system work? I haven't pooped in all the time I've been here. Do I have optic nerves in my eyes? Where do they go when it becomes a mouth? Did I have a stomach? So many questions. My curiosity was always pretty intense. I would spend hours watching 'How its Made' or nature documentaries. I itched to explore this new world.
But right now I can barely even stay awake for a few hours. I can't even walk yet. Being a baby sucks. Not understanding the language sucked.
"我很无聊." I muttered in Cantonese.
Orange looked at me but obviously didn't know what I said. She simply mumbled something in a fond tone and rubbed along one of my sides. It felt nice, like being pet. My mom used to stroke my head like this. Under her gentle touch I fell asleep again.
----
I got to meet the family pet today!
I was brought out to the kitchen today to hear a high pitched tapping sound and I spotted a small creature running around. It was a mix of purple and blue and resembled a dog shaped tangram puzzle. As soon as it spotted me in Orange's arms it ran over and made excited clicking noises.
It's soooo cute~
I babbled nonsense sounds and made grabby hands at it. Orange laughed and bent down to hold me closer to our 'dog'. I eagerly pet it and giggled as it wiggled its tail. I noted that it had a single eye on its head, large and round in a dark brown color. It didn't appear to have a mouth, does it turn its eye into a mouth too?
I didn't get to play with the puppy as long as I would have liked but I got to watch it after I was fed. Orange nestled me into the playpen and I watched the dog run around me happily. Orange left the room to go do something (its not like I know what she does with her time when she's not with me) and I was left alone with the family pet.
"I wonder how YOUR biology works." I said to the dog, in English this time. It probably didn't make a difference what language I used, they wouldn't understand it anyway. The dog simply tumbled along the floor while clicking happily.
I spent my play time working out my limbs to try once more to move around. I can almost crawl now.
----
I was starting to pick up words. I will assume its due to that thing infants do to learn things faster. God I was bored. I taught myself how to read in my previous life at age 4 because of how incredibly bored I was, so yeah, I have been eyeing that bookshelf for weeks now. If only I could grab one to try and decipher the words. It would give me something to do so I didn't feel like I was wasting my life just sitting here.
I suppose I could give this new body of mine a more thorough examination. I blinked between eye and mouth over and over again to try and see if I could figure out how it worked. So far no luck but I have come to the realization that I do not have vocal chords. Speech isn't something done physically. I did not use my mouth to speak. Instead it seems more likely that this species has mild telepathic powers to 'send' speech outward. How this doesn't just transmit thoughts in general is a new mystery to ponder.
I was feeling up my bricks again. It really was just a smooth surface broken up only by the lines between the different bricks. It felt sort of like rubbing at my nails, if my nails were 50 times larger and covered my body. A smooth and hard surface. Unlike with rubbing my nails as a human, this body could feel every stroke along its surface. Did I have nerves running all along inside me? Or was there a different reason for the sensation? I traced along the lines of my bricks. The seem between my bricks were especially sensitive, like the difference between rubbing the back of your hand vs the palm. A little ticklish but not in the way that triggered laughter. I tried tickling myself and the most I got was uncomfortable. Huh, no body spasms. Fancy that.
Finally my fingers explored lower. I rubbed my legs, same as my arms. Smooth all over, nearly frictionless. Doesn't seem to have a skeletal structure underneath. It had more give to it than my body. While my body was like a hard shell (that could bend and stretch somewhat along the lines between my bricks) my arms and legs were mildly squishier. Nowhere near human flesh, its more like...my body had the firmness of hard plastic (like a phone) whereas my arms and legs are like soft plastic (like a filled water bottle) if I had to describe it.
I didn't have toes. My foot being one singular rounded end. How do I stand with this thing? These limbs were so thin I find it hard to believe the species can really move with them.
At last there was only one place left to explore. I stared uncomfortably between my legs. I couldn't bend far enough to actually SEE down there so it would be touch only. I glanced up to make sure Orange was still gone. She doesn't leave me alone too long by myself.
Deciding not to risk it just yet (how embarrassing would it be if she walked in on me) I made a note to put off the full body examination until Orange put me to bed. At least then I can be certain she would leave me alone for at least a few hours.
A few minutes later my paranoia paid off as Orange walked back into the room and lifted me up for another feeding. I was feeling sleepy soon after. Curse this infant body.
Now if only I can stay awake long enough to actually do what I need to...
I drifted to sleep under Orange's soft words and snuggled into the blankets she wrapped around me.
----
We were leaving the house for the first time today! I can barely contain my excitement as I wiggled and tried to look at everything around me. Orange was laughing fondly and Gray was even smiling!
I haven't seen Gray much at all but apparently this family outing was one he had time for. I was turning this way and that while Orange held me 'Ooh' ing at everything I could see.
Shapes of all colors filled the streets. Their bricks vibrant and their shapes many. I saw triangles of all shapes and sizes, squares, hexagons, pentagons and even a few circles. There were even some pentagons with their corners stretched out to look star-like. I saw long rectangles that took up a lot of space as they trudged along.
There were no cars, the roads filled with shapes walking or running to get places. There weren't even bikes or anything with wheels. I saw some families walking their 'dogs' and some children running around.
It was busier than I thought.
We walked along leisurely and I was pointing at everything I could as I asked "what's that?". I know they don't understand what I'm saying but Orange found my antics amusing. I heard conversations all around and tried as hard as I could to figure out what they were saying.
I could only catch a few words here and there 'hungry', 'going', 'good morning' and 'dog'.
How long was it going to take me to learn this language? If this species really uses telepathic communication then maybe I could just try and glean the meaning from their minds without having to manually learn the language? Must experiment further.
Finally we arrived at what I assume is a hospital. Oh, am I getting a check up? That's pretty cool, I can see what the medical technology is like he- WAIT! Doctors? What if they realize there's something off about me? What if the doctor can tell that my mind is more developed than it has a right to be? These things communicate with psychic powers or something so they might be able to tell!
Have I blown my cover? Was I acting strangely for a newborn of this species? I don't even know how baby shapes are supposed to behave! Aaaaaaahhhh!
As per usual to my panic attacks, I appeared perfectly serene on the outside even as I screamed inside my head. Ok! Calm down Jan, you can't always just assume the worse. This is probably just an ordinary check up to see how the baby is doing after the first few weeks. That sounds logical.
"为什么这发生在我身上?" I mumbled as I laid back in Orange's arms. No point in worrying myself to death over it. What will happen, will happen.
We head inside and after a short wait we were led into an examination room with an elderly pentagon doctor. He spoke with my parents and they didn't seem worried so I guess this was just a normal check up.
I giggled as they placed me onto the soft table. It was bouncy. Weee! Wow I'm easily distracted. The doctor took out a bunch of tools and set to work measuring my sides and angles. Orange tried to hold me still when I wiggled away from the cold ruler. Every measurement was carefully written down and for the most part I think everything was going fine.
Then the doctor checked my eyesight. He checked my mouth as well. He felt around my arms and legs and wrote something down for them as well. I shuddered at the feeling when he felt along my bricks, pressing down to test their firmness and scraping a tool against my seams. I jolted and kicked his arm during that test. It hurt! Orange seemed to be apologizing to the doctor for my behavior but he waved it off with a chuckle.
Well so far so good. When are we gonna be done? I'm actually starting to get bor- hey! Where are you touching?! I squirm and make a distressed sound as the doctor reached between my legs.
Fuck! Is he seriously checking my sex?! Shouldn't they have done this back when I was born?! Noooo stop this is so weird! I struggle and kick at his hands. Orange holds me down and I just scream and try to get free. The doctor is being very gentle but it still feels weird as his fingers feel around my bottom side.
To his credit, he's being entirely clinical in his search but there's a strange feeling building up and I have an instinctual urge to rub my legs together. As I'm still being held down the most I could do was whine and pulled against Orange's hands. The doctor grips at something, pulls and then gasps and drops his clipboard.
I hear my parent's concerned and confused inquiries. Orange lets go of me and I immediately pull my legs back together and curl up. Now that there wasn't the feeling of his hands on me I felt the tingling slowly die down as I clamped my legs together and cried. What the fuck?! Seriously?! I glance down at myself and notice a small protrusion between my legs. I don't get to examine it for long as it slides back inside me. What the actual fuck?!
There are raised voices around me. I hear my parents questioning the doctor and he looks shaken by something. Shit. There really is something wrong with me. Of course I have no idea what they are saying but it must be something bad as when the doctor explains what he found in a shaking voice my parents go silent.
With no knowledge of the language I can only rely on their tone of voice to piece together what was happening. Confusion and worry. Shock and disbelief. Questioning. More questions. Accusation. Protest. Worry. Assurances. More disbelief. The doctor actually leaves the room in a rush. My parents stand there with their eyes furrowed in confusion and worry.
I wipe the tears from my eye and sit up. "What's going on?" I ask even though I know they don't understand me. Orange looks at me with a worried expression. For a creature with no face she's really expressive. I whine and she makes a soothing noise while petting my side. She doesn't seem angry with whatever the doctor said, just unsure and sad.
What was the problem?! I wish I could understand what they were saying. From what I can figure out there was something wrong with my genitals? I shuddered at the thought. I can't believe the doctor had to touch me there. Then again, there doesn't seem to be anything between my legs from just looking so weird touching was probably the only way to find out if I was male or female. Am I male? Bill is a guy right? Wait, several billion genders, I'm probably something not quite male or female.
The doctor came back, there were more doctors with him and I had to brace myself when they all began inspecting me. This was going to be an uncomfortable day.
---
