-To test your faith- Part 1

----

Headbanding myself didn't really work in the Mindscape (though the security settings I added to my personal Mindscape certainly made things better) so I created a vessel the instant I re-entered my own dimension. And that was that, for now at least. I didn't want to face Ax right now to see about Headbanding him too. Or even know how to do so. He didn't work the same way I did after all. He didn't work like Blue's AXOLOTL either.

But more importantly--!

There was something I simply had to do. Something I didn't even know I needed to do until this unrest began to build inside me. I headed for home.

The first thing I did when I returned home was find Xanthar (who I had to go to Iznang to track down) for a hug. He happily snuggled back, radiating content and dear lord I've missed this. Missed his wonderful flavors. The world was so much more… vibrant and savory with my emotion sense back on! After all, I've modified the headband so many times to make it so I could still taste and feel stuff without them affecting me! (And it was fine! They weren't human so the emotions I absorbed from them didn't make me all weird, not unless I got too much for the headband to filter out, and I could tell now what was too much! I did! Really!) I spent a few hours telling him (and Queen, who was thrilled to see me again too) about my adventures, finding a big brother, learning stuff, altering futures, reorganizing dimensions… the whole nine yards. And then I was distracted contemplating where the phrase 'whole nine yards' came from and just stared off into space for a few hours. Xanthar didn't mind, holding me close as he took a nap, basking in my warmth. Queen left us to it, telling me only that there was something she wanted me to check on later. I got the feeling I was forgetting something. Oh right, putting a headband on Ax. Eh… I had my own on to protect me. I could deal with Ax later. Right now, I needed my snuggles.

It wasn't like I was afraid to confront Ax or anything.

It wasn't like I wanted confirmation that Ax didn't actually want me… that… couldn't be true. It...

When I finally snapped out of my musing, Queen told me of the underground area she found. I understood her hesitation to check it out and slipped out of my vessel to check it out for her. "Be back soon." I told her simply before leaving my body behind.

It was incredibly dark, which made sense considering it was sealed underground. The tunnels went on and on and on. I found nothing here. No plants, not even fungus. How very odd. Who built this place? I flew about, mapping the tunnels out as I went. Oh. They… they formed an image? I continued to map it out in my head, drawing the image in my mind to find...

...an incomplete image of me?!

"The actual fuck?" Had the Silverfish been trying to summon me or something? But why use such a roundabout and time consuming way to do so? It… it wasn't a binding circle. It looked like a summoning. Had they thought having a huge summoning circle would catch my attention more? Keep me summoned long term? Who knew. Anyone who would have known wouldn't know anymore, not after their minds were destroyed by the infection. Well, it was pretty useless now. I suppose I could finish the tunnel, just so there was a place I could easily teleport to whenever I wanted to get to this dimension quickly? Eh… whatever.

I did a double check to make sure there wasn't anything dangerous in here before heading back out. Queen was surprised to hear about the summoning circle, incomplete though it was. "Is it safe?" She asked. I shrugged. "It's safe enough, I made sure the tunnels were clear. But… maybe leave it alone just in case."

She seemed relieved to hear that and we all worked together to fix up the buildings a little more before Xanthar and I headed home. I missed everyone else, they all needed a hug too!

Pyronica was happy to return my hug, she asked how long I had been gone this time, from my point of view. It hadn't been long, strictly speaking, but living with my brother in the day to day had FELT like a long while (like I had spent nearly a year there, like over thirty chapters worth). My Cyclopian friend held me close, her flames against my bricks were a comfortable feeling. She also teasingly asked about souvenirs and I laughed before going to the kitchen to whip up some food using the cool new spices I scanned from Earth. Of course, I had to make sure they wouldn't cause any health problems or allergic reactions first via the creation of an empty construct based off Pyronica (a copy paste of her genetic build up) and testing the various Earth food I had on it, noting down the reactions both short term and long term as I went.

...good thing I did. Turns out Cyclopians were deathly allergic to Earth-Rosemary. I spent several years in my own little subspace kitchen testing all the new food I got on genetic copies of my friends until I had a good idea of what they could and couldn't eat. Good thing time didn't exist in here (which, of course it didn't, Time Baby had no dominion over my own subspaces, therefore, no time passes. And yes, I had considered sticking my friends in one of these places, but it was too dangerous for the long term, day to day living.) Pyronica LOVED pepper when I popped back out to hand her one as a souvenir. Which… I kinda should have expected. Still, guess Stan had the right idea of me getting food that I didn't like because other people might like them. And, well, fair. After all, Zyun-Kei liked peppers too. I used to pick out the peppers in my food to give to them, while Kei gave me the onions that they didn't want.

Next I went to find my son. Ammy hugged me back and simply told me that he had been on good behavior and hadn't shoplifted anything since the last time I saw him. Of course, I responded with, "From your point of view, I've only been gone for a couple weeks." to which my son responded, "And in that time I have not shoplifted anything. I handed them the Credit chip, just like you asked. Therefore, I have been good while you were away."

I was both amused and exasperated. Which was about the usual for any interaction with Ammy. Also he handed me a bunch of flannel clothing. "For when you want to be William." He said simply. It was very thoughtful of him.

Teeth roped me into a few rounds of Fight Streeters with him. He kicked my ass, as per usual. For a sight-blind dude, he had really good reflexes for moving images on a screen. Of course, the fact that he memorized all the attacks and combos certainly helped. I just button mashed, which frustrated Teeth a lot, ("Dammit Bill! There's a thing called strategy!"). Teeth threw his hands up in victory after tossing my character over the side of the stage again. "Hah! You've gotten even worse!" He teased. I scoffed. "You know that I would win if I used my Knowledge." He patted my side while snickering. "That'd be cheating dude!" Which wasn't really true. He had his knowledge of the game, I could have mine. Same info, different method of gaining it.

Or maybe I was just sick of losing to him all the time?

...also apparently Teeth had a boyfriend now? I was so happy for him. (And I miiiiight have done a quick check to see if this Lilie boy was good enough for Teeth, which, he was a really sweet dude, so… I guess I didn't have to worry. Ahahaha, looks like even after having gone through it somewhat myself, I still couldn't help but poke my angles into other people's romantic lives.)

Also, I didn't ask… but… why was everyone dressed in flannel?

Kryptos seemed happy to get a hug. He also invited me out to a restaurant with him. For some reason he seemed equal parts happy AND exasperated when I agreed to the playdate. I was on my best behavior and didn't even snap at the angry Minescuran who tossed a drink in my face while we were at the restaurant. They just stormed up to our table, called me and Kryptos "Disgusting!" for reasons I didn't quite understand at first and asked us to leave so they wouldn't have to watch us dining in the same room as 'proper' couples. They were from a species in which they found their mates by finding someone with the same shape and color as them, so I supposed they must have mistook me and Kryptos for a mating pair who were mismatched or something and it offended them? I, of course, refused. We just sat down and I wanted the food. That's when they picked up the glass of fruit juice I just ordered and threw it at me. Everyone in the establishment froze when I turned red but I hissed and held myself back until I was able to calm down. I did good! Really!

...Ok, my chair was on fire. (...and the ground around me ...and the Minescuran… though I quickly put them out!) I hadn't killed the incredibly rude asshole. I stared them down as they wheezed in pain, trembling with the effort to stay calm. That was my cup! I was gonna drink that! "I suggest you get out of my sight before I do something we'll both regret." I hissed at them, both as a threat and a plea for them to leave so I wouldn't be tempted to finish what I started. They ran and that was that. I was proud of myself for keeping my temper. I patted out the flames around my chair and huffed, pushing this churning rage inside me down until it snuffed out.

I only realized after Kryptos and I got home that I'd forgotten to ask the others to keep an eye on him, in case he was trying to kill me. It was just such a ridiculous idea that I couldn't even wrap my head around it. Heck, Pyronica had stared at me incredulously when I finally asked her to warn me if it looked like Kryptos might be secretly planning to murder me and take over as the leader of the household.

"The heck Bill? Even if he DID kill you, that wouldn't make him the boss." Pyronica rolled her eye. "Me and Hec are in charge whenever you're not here anyway."

"I know, but my brother seems to think that Kryptos wanting to get me alone with him all the time is because he's trying to murder me. I don't really believe it but I guess it's better to be safe than sorry." I shrugged. Pyronica buried her face in her hands and groaned. "Are all triangles this oblivious?" She muttered. I didn't really get what she was talking about.

I gave PaciFire the cookbooks about Earth pastries. I also got other cookbooks from various places around the multiverse. He enjoyed looking at the pictures of cute pastries more than actually making them. I told him I could Perception Filter the kitchen so he could cook without anyone knowing, but he said that he wasn't emotionally ready for that yet. Which was fine. I wasn't in any rush. He did thank me for the books though.

Keyhole proudly informed me that he'd gotten a job. I was thrilled, picking him up and spinning around as I laughed with joy. "THAT'S AMAZING! CONGRATS!" I squealed. He giggled, hugging me back when I put him back down.

Keyhole would be a quality inspector. Checking over shipments of materials for their content and ratios of elements, checking machines to make sure there weren't any damaged parts, generally he's going to be in charge of alerting people if he finds any problems. It was a very important job, if say, a power generator was built with a titanium alloy that had some weaker metals mixed in that could compromise it's structural integrity? Yeah. That's dangerous and would NEED to be found and reported.

Hectorgon simply patted my top angle and told me "Welcome back." He asked about where my brother was. "Well, he has his own place. So I would only be able to visit him sometimes. But I can text him, or the guy who's taking care of him." Hectorgon chuckled. "Well, as long as you're doing well."

I went to check on 8-Ball and...

"....8-Ball… what is that?" I pointed at the large lump at his side under the blankets he wrapped around himself. "No-nothing…" 8-Ball winced. The lump wiggled and made a squeaking sound. I wasn't impressed. "8-Ball, what are you hiding?"

He whined but under my stare, he finally revealed himself and I blinked at the gelatinous creature. A quick scan later and...

"Oh. They… liked you enough to leave a piece of themselves with you?" I blinked. That was… nice of them?

8-Ball stared back. "Piece of themselves?"

"Yeah, that's a split part of their gel. It'll grow up after a few years. And… that species tend to give a part of themselves to people they really like, sort of like a gift?" It was a very strange practice. I leaned closer. "I heard the pieces are rather delicious…"

8-Ball covered the little gelatin creature. "Yo-you can't eat Toobie! He's my baby!" Wow. He was almost glaring at me. This protectiveness was incredibly cute. "Don't worry. He's yours. I won't do anything to him." I assured my ogre friend.

8-Ball squinted at me before finally relaxing. "So… Toobie is mine? I don't have to give him back?" He was snuggling the little thing in his arms, it seemed quite happy to snuggle back. "Yup. They gave him to you. So he's yours now." I patted 8-Ball's shoulder. "Take care of him, alright? He's your responsibility now."

8-Ball nodded, his eyes rolling around in their sockets. "I will! I will be the bestest caretaker! I can feed him and- and teach him to read like you taught me and- show him Demon Baby Fights!"

I wasn't sure if Demon Baby Fights was something a growing LavaGelatin should be watching but I also didn't know if I should be correcting him on that. Not when he seemed so happy. Instead, I grinned at him, "Well if you ever need help with raising the little guy, you can always ask the rest of us." Huh, 8-Ball the parent? 8-Ball the caretaker?

Eh… this should be fine. Speaking of caretaking, I haven't checked on my Earth yet!

---

Civilizations on Earth were doing well! I was being worshipped under multiple pretenses. Currency was invented, printed with warped images of me since I was careful to not let them see my true form. Well, no one but a few select individuals. The people I worked with personally to teach them what they wanted to learn and were willing to give me their regards to do so.

I worried over the whole 'inspiring them to the point of unhealthy obsession' thing, but so far they seemed okay. Even if some of them did recoil back from my triangle form when I finally revealed myself to them.

I shook myself out of those thoughts.

I wished more people were like that kid I met all those years ago…the one who'd thought I was pretty.

Egyptian civilization was thriving, they drew my eye everywhere, the only part of me they could truly remember from dreams full of confusing cosmic knowledge. The line of Pharaohs, descended from the people I possessed, could remember more. My shape, my bricks… but not my colors. They thought the golden glow was simply the sun itself. Still, I persisted in my lessons and mentorship of mankind.

I taught people how to read the stars and set up the foundations of mathematics. I watched as new cultures formed and grew. It was wonderful to watch humanity flourish under my care. China, with its many mountains and valleys, had so many different tribes. But I knew they would all be united at some point. What was it? The Qing dynasty? I couldn't remember my history lessons, but I suppose I would be seeing this in real time this time around. Humans had come so far.

It's a great deal of improvement from back when I first started out watching them make stone tools and discovering fire. Communication with them was a test of my patience. I'm happy with how humanity is shaping out to be. Like my own children, I watched them thrive and learn and it filled my non-existent heart with glee…

There was just one problem.

...the Egyptians had some really intense libidos, like hell, there was so much fucking happening here. Dear lord.

And WHY the incest?! I literally have no idea where the fuck they got the idea that such a thing was a good idea. What with their gods being siblings with each other and… I swear I didn't teach them this. I have no idea where they'd gotten it into their heads that this was a good idea-- wait. WAIT ONE GODDAMN SECOND!

The actual fuck?! There were Egyptian gods, like, actual Egyptian gods. They were Tulpas, brought into existence via people's belief in them. And, like, yeah? That's how Tulpas worked but I didn't think it could create GODS. Most Tulpa I've seen were monsters or minor spirits, but… geez. I had to do some investigation...

Long story short, some of the Weirdness leaking out from the Nightmare Realm mixed in with the human's belief and now there were actual Egyptian gods running around.

...and yes, they were incestually fucking each other. Goddamn. What the hell? No. No, no, no. I brought down the nightmares HARD. No incest! Incest is BAD! And if I had to flood their dreams with horrifying images to get my point across, I WOULD.

...

Update on the situation, it backfired.

Now the Egyptians were just into super kinky sex instead.

What the hell was wrong with humanity?

You know what? Fuck Egypt! I'm gonna go hang out at Atlantis instead. At least they didn't marry their own siblings!

Atlantis was great, if only the people weren't so smug and snobbish. Well, they had the most advanced technology of their era. And even of future eras. Partially because of a Deal one of their kings made with me generations ago for an unending source of energy to help them power their city and all within it. It wasn't hard. I went back in time a bit, set some things in motion to portion off a part of my power in a physical form, sent it rocketing down to the Earth in the form of a comet… and then taught the Atlanteans how to harness that comet shard…

You know, easy.

The payment for the Deal was simple. If the royal family wanted power, they would have to give back in return. The shard would seek out the royal family to collect on this payment, it was that simple. I mean, the crystals they made from the shard's power granted them longevity and a fragment of my knowledge. It was only fair they had to pay such a steep toll.

Was I giving them too much? I couldn't help but want to dote on humanity. I couldn't help it. Maybe granting them so much of my help and knowledge was a bad idea, but I wanted to do it anyway. I couldn't help myself.

---

Finally, I couldn't put it off anymore. Couldn't distract myself with other things anymore. I went to see dad. Somewhat cautiously. Brother's warning made me uneasy, but… Dad was dad. I couldn't just… not see him.

I refused to believe he was only just using me all this time, that he could have purposely left me to suffer for his own gain. Well my bond with him was technically broken now, sort of. Brother walked me through it. I hadn't heard Dad complain so….

"Hiiii Axxxxxx~" I floated in, cheerful as ever. He rumbled, glancing up at me. -You're back- he almost sounded surprised. I shrugged. "Eh, of course I'm back. What? Did you miss me or anything?" I giggled. "Admit it~ you missed me~"

-I had thought you didn't want to be around me…-

"Whaaaa? Where'd you get that ridiculous idea?" I scoffed. Ax didn't look to be in a joking mood. Not that he ever was. -You're upset with me- he pointed out. I winced. Yeah. I was. A little. But any unhappiness I had dispersed when I noticed how… defeated Ax sounded. He was curled up, frills drooping down. "...are you okay?"

He just curled in on himself more, looking absolutely miserable. I sighed. "Look, I…" I scratched at my side. "...do you wanna… talk?" Because I wasn't going to distrust or write Ax off without hearing his side of the story first. Just like with brother. Heck, I was still mad at brother but he was trying to fix what he broke. And I wasn't going to hold that against him forever. Not when he was trying so hard. So I wasn't going to do that with Ax either. And… if brother's paranoia was true, and Ax did try to manipulate my Soul or something, well, I had my headband and defenses up. But I was going to talk to Ax, let him try to explain himself.

-I… don't want to lose you- he said finally. I had to pause at that. -I missed you-

Well there I was getting increasing flustered. "E-even if I'm not the Bill you wanted?" I couldn't help blurting out.

-...I never would have even dreamed to get one such as you- Ax finally glanced up at me, almost shy(?!). -You're the best thing that has ever happened to me-

Oh, I felt warm all over. Just overwhelmed. I shook and flapped my hands around, turning such a deep shade of orange I think I might have been bordering on pink! I couldn't say anything, not with words. I just made weird squealing sounds and flailed my limbs around. "UwwwuuuuUuuWUuu!!!" I finally managed.

-Are you alright?- Ax twitched and backed up a little. I waved my hand at him. "EeeewwwuuuuuOoouuu!!!" Ax looked almost worried now. -I...will give you some time to process- to which I responded with an, "UwuuEeeeeAaaauuuu!" Before darting forward to latch onto his face in a hug. "Ooouuureallymeanthat?!" I gasped, shaking as I held onto him.

-...despite my better judgement, yes- Ax seemed like it was taking all he had to keep from rolling his eyes. I continued vocalizing spastic sounds and rumbling squeals. I literally couldn't handle it. I was so happy.

Ax cared about me! He did! He did!

A-and he liked me! Even thought I was wrong not what he was expecting! He-- he liked me BETTER!

I was so frazzled and blown away by this news I passed out.

Huh. Didn't think being happy would be something capable of making me faint, but here we go.

I woke up to Ax nudging me, was he worried? I shook myself off. "I'm fine. I am. Don't worry!"

Having dad admit he liked me only reminded me that I hadn't seen my kids in a while. So after I recovered myself from my joy-overload, I gave Ax one last hug before telling him, "I love you daddy~" before leaving when Ax straight up glowed with how relieved and happy he looked.

Much later I realized I had completely forgotten about the thing I was supposed to talk to him about. It simply slipped my mind.

---

I went to visit my kids. Pyrone invited me to dinner with the family. Rince was glowering at me all through the night, but the other kids, while not quite friendly, were more polite. After that incredibly uncomfortable dinner, I went to see Quackers instead. Quackers invited me out to get supplies with her. That involved going to the planet of Engerus and fighting off the local ore-life to get the materials she needed for some magical trinkets she wanted to make. It was a nice workout. Been too long since I've actually fought something. I took this time to play around with 'magic'. Rather, I played around with invoking a god's power to use as a powersource for spells.

And by that I meant invoking MYSELF to power spells.

Hey, I was still a god. I could do that! Right?

Twas an interesting experience. I wondered if I could get around Weirdness barriers by using magic that drew on my own powers without me directly drawing on them? This will require more research.

Then I went to see Pynelope and...

She told me to prepare myself emotionally for the next article she was going to publish. I'm a little worried but okay, it couldn't possibly be that bad or I would have known about it before right--

....what?!

The newspaper under my hands ignited and turned to ash. Hectorgon, reading his own copy, winced. "Well shit. I'd almost say I feel sorry for them, but I don't and they brought this on themselves."

I stormed away from the breakfast table even as Teeth asked, "Wait, what? What's happening?"

So they were withholding food from people? They were withholding MY food from people?! Even after I trusted them to at LEAST do this ONE thing for me?! I Blinked off to directly check this for myself. What reason they might possibly have for allowing entire sectors to go hungry when they DID have enough food to send them--

---

So it was done as a way to have 'back-up' food. Which was fair, but back up storage was meant for excess and extra. Not when there were billions of people struggling to-- oh. They were PURPOSELY withholding from certain Dimensions for the sole purpose of driving up the prices at the marketplace. Uuugh. I know they were trying to make money but not when it negatively impacts the people who couldn't afford to eat! And I know having too much food would lower the price and therefore they don't make profit-- but none of the farmers who worshipped me did it for money. I was quite careful with grooming them and their descendants on this point. I, their god, took care of their every physical need. If they get sick, I healed them, they didn't need to go to a doctor-- they had plenty of food to feed themselves and their families-- I made the weather perfectly pleasant for them so they didn't need to worry about repairs as often-- hell I even powered their electricity for them! (Via a piece of my golden scales, something which the Federation has tried time and again to convince my worshippers to give them!) I worked hard to make it so they didn't need Credits to survive! I didn't want them to have to rely on the Federation's money and resources!

As angry as I was though, my worshippers on my farming planets were even more so. After all, the Federation impeding the transfer of their crops throughout the multiverse was LITERALLY a spit in the face to their religion. And with that in mind, I shifted into Xin's form, summoned by my worshipper's ire to rain down my divine fury just as both they and I wanted.

It was the first time Xin had appeared on the news, on camera. There were people filming my rampage through the multiverse, tearing into the Federation's storage vessels and taking back my crops to distribute to the planets that needed them. Really, this is why I would prefer if they could be self sufficient again. But for many places, their technological development ended up destroying their planet's ecosystems or they became so reliant on government given supplies they could no longer sustain themselves and their skyrocketing populations and--

It was a mess all around. But that didn't stop me from making sure all the planets that needed food to live, received their supplies.

Once I calmed down from my rampage, I shrank myself back down to Xin's default dragon size (which was pretty much the size of a large passenger plane) and laid down to rest around one of my farmlands with my eyes closed to watch the news surrounding it. I was worried and curious how the multiverse handled it. I had to admit, seeing the videos of myself flying through space as a giant cosmic space dragon was pretty cool. The headlines were something along the lines of [Dragon God outraged at food shortage] or [What could this mean for future trade with the Farmlands?] and even a few articles reaching out to Xin's worshippers asking for forgiveness and for them to please calm their god down.

...well, that would depend on my worshippers now wouldn't it?

To the Federation's disbelief, and my smug satisfaction, my worshippers really had learned how to negotiate over the generations, and managed to wrangle a deal with the government. They'd politely ask their god to stop destroying Federation storage facilities, so long as they got control over the trade routes for any supply ship that contained any of their wares. The government official who was tasked with the negotiations wasn't too happy about that.

But when I lifted my large head and growled at them, the insectoid quickly changed their tune. It was so nice to be Xin sometimes, I got respect, I got care, I got worship...

In fact my worshippers were gathering around me in awe of my beautiful majestic form. Yes! Gaze upon me and be amazed! Wow. At this size, I could just gobble them up so easily. I could probably fit like twenty of them in my mouth at once.

...I did not act upon any of these thoughts. I had more self control than that. I quietly watched them set up more negotiations and get a working deal in play for the moment. The Federation negotiator wasn't thrilled at their position in this deal, but didn't have much of a choice while I was staring down at them. While I wouldn't eat any of my worshippers, this little bug had no such protection. It was… nice, to feel superior like this. It wasn't the terrified disgust I got as a triangle. Frankly, it just made a guy feel really nice. I swished my tail lazily as I stared down at the mortals. Ah… it was weird… I didn't normally feel like this. I suppose the worship was getting to me. I wasn't sure if it was a bad thing or not. I felt… great.

I felt nice. Like I was all warm on the inside. Well, all worship made me feel nice, but I never interacted with Xin's worshippers much, seeing as I only showed up at their summonings or whenever they needed me for something. In and out, a quick Blessing here and there, an elegant dance to make the rain fall just so, make the leaves gleam and the roots take hold...

I never really just… hung out around them before. I peered down at them, the furry species on this particular one of my planets, the Krolic, were so thrilled to have me here. It was here that I realized what the difference was. I had always felt Worship before. But I had my newer vessels now, with the built in filters to get the emotional resonance of the people around me drained out before I absorbed the pure emotional energy without having them affect me mentally. So I was alone in my head now. And because of that, I could feel my own sensations without the resonance from everyone around me altering my perception of it.

And that meant I was able to fully feel the sensation of worship without any interference.

...and it felt nice.

It didn't make me feel full and jittery now. Instead, I was… calm. Content. Even as I felt the energy thrumming inside me. I didn't feel itchy. I felt… nice.

I didn't know how to feel about this, only that I liked it.

As angry as I had been, I found myself calmed simply from being around the Krolic. It was… nice.

I finally left once my worshippers settled everything, giving themselves full control over the transport of their goods, on threat of sic-ing a giant space dragon on the Federation if this agreement was ever broken.

I teleported home and just wondered what to do about this new knowledge about being able to feel things without feeling things.

Well, there was only one thing to do now. Indulge myself.

Basically, I spent my time hanging out with the people who loved me. So that I could submerge myself into the wonderful feeling of being loved, without any conflicting or foreign emotions from anyone else affecting my ability to feel things on my own.

One the one hand, I got to spend time with the people I loved.

On the other hand, I spent Time on the people I loved.

Every moment I spent with them, I would have to experience them growing older. I could see the faint wrinkles around Pynelope's face now. But she was as energetic and cheerful as usual. Pyrone was having a harder time tossing the bus sized animals out of the farm. And Quackers...

I stayed by her side in her last years when she was too old to move around easily. Her children were grown and moved out, her mate had passed the year before. I tended to her needs and stayed with her. Despite her age, her mind hadn't deteriorated at all.

I guess there WAS an upside to my tinkering.

(Even if it didn't change anything, Quackers was dead and Quacker 2.0 just happened to be using her body…I loved her just the same but still...)

She noticed my strained expression during her final days. I knew it was coming. Could feel it as her Soul loosened its hold on her body. "It'll be ok mom." She assured me even though nothing was ok and nothing would ever be ok.

"Why won't you just stay with me?" I pleaded. She curled a flipper around my hand. "Because I'm afraid." She admitted at last. "The idea of living and living and living...seems scary."

"But you won't be alone. We'll all be here!" I held on tightly, trying and failing to hide the way my hands trembled.

"I know. And I'm relieved you have aunty and uncles to keep you company." Quackers pulled me in for a weak hug. "I'd be too worried to pass on peacefully otherwise." She slumped in her bed. "I'm tired mom." She said softly. Her breathing was steady, but heavy. I could feel her slipping away. "Please...just…" I held up my hand, blue fire flickering upon it. She slowly closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. I just...want to sleep…love you ...mom..."

"I love you too." I held her flipper, my fire fading as I stayed with her until she stopped breathing.

I felt her soul slip away and shuddered as I tried very hard not to cry. Didn't succeed.

I could have grabbed her Soul, shoved it back in, fixed her body, deaged her body...but I didn't. Because she didn't want that. And I wouldn't...force her to stay if she really wanted to leave.

No matter how much it hurt.

---

If felt like all my friends were dying. Hutie passed away. Quillia passed away. Heck, the Literatura family was multiple generations past Jorgio. Hell, I'm surprised my goddamn manager was still alive. He had apparently been taking a lot of life prolonging drugs, surgery, implants and other treatments. Amazing what one can do with money and a will to keep going.

I dreaded every day that passed. The twins were getting older. Pynelope had multiple mates but never found 'the one' which worried me until she said it was fine. She still enjoyed her time together with each of her partners and it was still worth it. She was getting into her older years now and still managed to find and date for a couple years before moving on. I have no idea how she managed to keep putting herself through that.

Pyrone and Flora finally found a birth control that worked. They still had 5 kids in total. None of them liked me much, even if they weren't as...vocal about it as Rince was. I tried really hard. I watched her grow up. She grew from an angry teenager to an angry young adult. Pyrone told me she was always picking fights at school and was generally a very disagreeable child. I tried to talk to her but she hissed at me and slammed her door in my face. When I attempted again she screamed at me, "Everything wrong with us is your fault!" which… hurt.

I wondered what she meant by it and did a little digging around. Apparently the boy that she liked called her a hideous mutant. I twitched. Ah… was it because she was a hybrid? Well… I knew that the mixing of Cyclopian and Jo-Adian DNA made for some weird genetic quirks. A larger appetite, higher strength… In Rince's case, I suppose it all manifested as a blistering rage toward the world… and me by proxy, for having allowed her conception. But… I didn't mean to do it. And… it… it wasn't wrong for her and my other grandchildren to exist… was it? Sure, they weren't something that could have been born naturally but… it wasn't wrong, was it?

I didn't know the answer to that. All I knew was that Rince blamed me for her existence as a hybrid. And I felt pretty bad for her hardships caused by her bi-racial existence. She didn't fit in with the other Jo-Adian, she was larger, on fire, intimidating… her siblings weren't quite as angry as her, but I have heard Pyrone talk about how Hilbert broke things, deliberately at times, as if he wanted to destroy things around him. It was a little worrying, but Flora (in her infinite kindness and patience) worked hard to teach them how to work out their energy in less destructive ways. The younger kids were fine with tilling the farm or crushing the rocks, but Rince hated everything about it. It only served to make her angrier. I tried to stay and help Pyrone and Flora for several years, but I feel like I did more harm than good. My babysitting was fine, but none of the kids liked me. Also, spending all these years with Pyrone only allowed me to see how he aged.

I didn't like watching the people I knew growing older. Everyone had different lifespans so they didn't all age the same but I could still see it happening.

Despite my worry over this, with the ever onward march of time came things both bad and good.

Tina's mom was finally in a seat of power that allowed more active change. She was a no nonsense type of woman who hated incompetence, busting a lot of the corrupted members off their seats after compiling evidence against them, firing a whole lot of lazy people who weren't necessarily bad, just complacent to the corruption around them. I secretly cheered her on. Observing the shifting political climate was good for taking my mind off the worry of time progression. Weeding out corruption in the Federation was a slow going process. A couple other aliens of good moral character were trying to get into the council as well and I maaaaay have pulled a few strings behind the scenes. Just a little. (The only real issue is that with how large and far reaching the Federation was, no matter how good the people at the top were, like a game of telephone, orders and instructions got twisted as they went along. Tina's mother couldn't be everywhere all the time. She couldn't make sure everyone was doing their job correctly. There would always be someone who ignored instructions, someone who was too lazy to do their job, someone who simply wasn't good at their job…)

I know Stan probably thought it wasn't possible, but I wanted to believe that I could change things for the better. Even if it took years. The alternative was running and running for the rest of my life, taking my friends with me as I fled. I suppose I could have simply taken my friends through a Door with me. But that would require me finding a new dimension for them to live in. I couldn't impose on anyone else like that. Not even brother. Especially with how much that Stanford hated me. And they probably wouldn't be happy to host all my 'demon' friends too, even if they weren't Demons by that Stanford's definition.

Meanwhile, Earth had the spread of humanity across all the continents. I'm amazed how far they could get. Many places weren't called the same as I had learned back when I was human, not that I remembered all that much of it. Language was weird. Words and terms were different from the ones I learned in English a lifetime ago. I had to learn whole new languages to communicate with people. God this place was starting to get big. I still remember when I first went down among the humans for the sole purpose of petting kitties. And being a kitty.

I admit I was very focused on Egyptian society. Mainly in how...they could both be full of such wonderfully brilliant scientists and architects (who's dreams I both inspired and was inspired by) and a royal family full of incompetence. Hell, they were pretty damn lucky a lot of their workers knew how to take care of stuff. These guys were… just the worse.

To be fair, a lot of them STILL married their own siblings and cousins no matter how much I tried to tell them not to.

The squick was strong but there was some weird misconception of blood purity and how the Pharaoh was a living god and they had to keep god's blood alive or some shit…

Look, I possessed a guy ONCE and suddenly the people start thinking he and his descendants were better than anyone else?! All I did was puppet his body around to cast some magic, pet cats, smite some bad guys and before I knew it, a whole nation had been created and his descendants were now in the governmental seat of power.

Another misunderstanding led them to believe there was an afterlife where they lived on in another plane of existence. I tried to explain that it was merely reincarnation because an actual afterlife for their souls only existed if there was a nearby god taking their souls and placing them inside a pocket reality for storage.

That's what most of the Hell and Heaven dimensions were, a pocket reality with 'settings' to pull in the souls of worshippers or anyone unlucky enough to be within the area of effect for that god's sphere of influence and pulled in. If there was no god stealing their souls, they go to Ax and he would reincarnated them.

I COULD pull souls into the Nightmare Realm, but...why would I? Wasn't quite the nicest place for an afterlife. Maybe if I spruced it up a bit? Or created a new pocket dimension for people? I have been watching a lot of those home decoration/improvement shows recently. But what's the point? Who would even want to go with me?

Not even my daughter wanted to be with me…

I growled and shook my head. No. Not gonna think about that. It was...fine. I'm...fine. She's...with Ax now. Ax would make sure she reincarnated properly…

What I should focus on was...making the multiverse a better place for her when she was reborn.

The thought made me pause. Yes. Yes! That's what I can do. So that even if Quackers is gone...she'll be happy in her next life! I held back my shuddering. That's the right thing to do here, right?

I briefly thought about what Brother had told me. That I could overpower Ax and take his place. That I could be in charge of Souls. In charge of Life. In charge of everything.

No.

I shook my head. That's not something I should seriously consider. It was ridiculous.

(I would just fuck everything up, like I always did.)

I looked back down at the humans. Could Quackers be reincarnated as one of them? Technically I had a whole multiverse of possibilities for who her reincarnation might have been. I don't know if I would even be able to know which one was her. I sighed. It didn't matter. I had stuff to do.

---

I wasn't the only one grieving over Quackers.

Pyrone missed his little sister a lot. He hid it well but I noticed when I went over to visit him. He was watching his youngest children run around the garden. I floated into his lap so he could play with my arms, he always liked doing that. He tugged at my arms, he didn't hold them or me down, a loose grip that I could easily escape from. It was fine, I had no problems with that. It was the firm holds that I couldn't stand. And more than that, my children registered as 'safe' and I was more comfortable with them touching me. (What did it say about me then? When I didn't register as 'safe' to myself?)

"Hey Bill…" he asked. "What...happens when we die?"

"Your soul goes to your grandpa Ax. He clears your memories and then you're reincarnated." I responded. "Though sometimes, you don't lose all your memories. There are some people who remember their past lives."

He was quiet for a while, watching his children play. They gave me some weird looks and moved farther from me and Pyrone. I tried not to let it get to me. "I think...I can understand why you want us to be immortal." He said quietly.

I glanced up at him but he wasn't looking at me. His eye was on his kids. "If any of my kids died...I...don't know how I would be able to stand it." He curled his claws around my hand. "I can see you just...want to protect us, like you've always done."

He sighed. "I'm sorry that I can't accept your Deal." He closed his eye, looking strained. "I'm sorry for being a bad son."

"You're not!" I told him. He shook his head. "I'm...a little scared of dying. But I'm more scared of having to be here forever. Isn't that...dumb?" He sighed. "The thought of being here, working the farm forever, as much as I enjoy it, makes me feel faint. I don't know how everyone else can stand it. Living day after day forever…"

"You don't have to stay on the farm. You can go and do anything else. Find a new job, go to school, get a hobby?" I suggested. Pyrone groaned. "Even the thought of that makes me feel exhausted." He leaned back and sighed. "I...can't stand the thought of living forever. There just isn't enough stuff I'd want to do with my life."

"That's…" I tilted my head. "A very...basic reason for not wanting to live forever. You're afraid you'll be bored?"

"I'm not like mom who's happy just to run around stealing stuff and beating people up. I'm not like uncle Hec who's spending his time making life difficult for the people he doesn't like." He laughed. "And I'm definitely not like uncle Kryptos who wants to take over the universe or something."

"Kryptos's aspirations are hefty indeed." I giggled. Heck, maybe I could take down the Federation and put Kryptos in charge? Naw, he couldn't govern his way out of a paper bag. Science? Facts and figures? He's good at those. Board meetings with delegates from all over the multiverse to appease and compromise with? Heck no. Managing the multiversal market and economy? Fuck no. Kryptos isn't very good at things like that. He hates talking to people. And there's no way he could be the type of leader who could stand at the head of a government and lead the people. He's not charismatic enough, sorry dude.

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't think I'd be able to handle living forever. I think I'd be fine with...starting over again." Pyrone finished. I blinked slowly. That...that...was...a different perspective. "Wouldn't you be...scared to lose who you are?"

"Eh, you said there are some people who still retain bits of themselves. Besides, grandpa...is in charge of that right? Can't you ask him?" Pyrone gave me a small smile.

I thought about it.

Well...might as well ask.

----

-You want me...to not erase the memories of your children when they pass on?-

"Is...that too much? Am I overstepping my bounds?" I asked, worried I might have asked for too much, Ax has already indulged and favored me more than he rightfully should have. The fact that I was free to come and see him whenever I wanted was more than anyone else ever got. There were billions of devoted worshippers who've dreamed all their lives to someday meet their god, but he never shows himself to them. I was damn lucky. I finally remembered to bring up the idea of giving him a Seal that cut off his powers from affecting Free Will and he gave me this Look that I still haven't been able to decipher (ha!) but ultimately he said it was too dangerous to try for now (which wasn't a no.)

"Nevermind! If it's too much of an issue you don't have to! Or...you do have to. Erase their memories I mean. Well, not that I want you to or-"

-I cannot allow them to keep their memories. It interferes with their soul integrating with the new person they become. But...I can be...less...thorough with my cleaning process-

I lit up, glowing brightly as I shot forward to hug Ax tightly. "Thankyouthankyouthankyoudaddy!"

He rumbled, nuzzling his large face into me. -Also, I should mention, your daughter…-

"Quackers? What about her?" I asked. I tried to ignore the twinge of sadness that appeared inside me. No, I was FINE. I wasn't going to break down over this!

-Since her Mind was technically created by you and not her own, I do not know what will happen once she is reborn- Ax told me. I nodded slowly. "Is it going to be...bad?" I asked, dreading the answer. Ax settled down into his cloud. -I do not know. Only time will tell-

I guess that was...ok. I tried to ignore the tight feeling inside me. It's ok. She's...going to get reborn into a nice family. She's going to be happy, whoever she ends up being. Ax wouldn't let her be in a bad place. I know he wouldn't. Besides, wherever she ended up would still be better than what I did to the original Quackers.

I pressed a hand to my closed eye and fake breathed deeply to try and calm down. It...was my fault. I killed her. It was something I couldn't help but continue to beat myself up about. Because rebuilding a new Mind inside her didn't change things. I killed her. And then I raised the person who replaced her. I still loved her but I felt guilty and probably would never stop feeling like this. I killed her. I destroyed, erased, her mind. The most awful thing someone could ever do.

Ax poked me. -You cannot blame yourself forever-

"Watch me." I growled out before squeaking when Ax poked me again. Was he...paying me back for all the times I poked him?! I DID poke him a lot, was probably real annoying for him.

-It is unhealthy to continue to blame yourself in such a way-

"...Not gonna stop me…" I muttered and squeaked when he poked me again.

Ok fine. Ugh. "I can't help but feel bad about it." I muttered. I felt Ax gather me into his palm. -Even so, you cannot continue to blame yourself forever. You shouldn't. It's unnecessary suffering- ...he sounded… odd when he said this.

"You sound like Stan..." (And Brother, now that I thought about it.) I rolled my eye. Still, I know it wasn't helpful to angst forever. I just wasn't sure how to feel and at least angsting was familiar. Ax poked me again. "AaauuuUuuuaaaagh!" I whined and pushed his finger away. "Daaaaad!"

-...I do not... like seeing you sad. So stop purposely making yourself feel so- he admitted quietly. I stared at him incredulously. "Ah…" what? Ax looked almost...embarrassed? I flushed a bright orange. "Are you...trying to do DAD things?!" I squeaked. He looked away and...yeah he definitely looked embarrassed. I vibrated in place. "What's with you recently? You're almost being...proactive? Wait, that's not the right term…"

I felt Ax pulling me close to press my tiny triangular form against his cheek. "....dad?"

-The thing you have, that seal… I've seen yours and I'm thinking… about a Seal so that I could...actually interact with people besides just you and Time Baby…-

"I thought you said it was too dangerous?" I said, even as a thrill went through me. I tried to ignore Blue's suggestion for me to overthrow my AXOLOTL. It wouldn't come to that. I could handle dad! I could!

I stared at him. "You...want to try it?"

He nodded, an odd expression on his face that I couldn't fully understand. -It would be nice...to speak with my worshippers. I had never even considered cutting off my own powers. And perhaps…-

I stared at him. Serious? Was he being serious right now? "Oh." I blinked slowly. "Well...do you know how to isolate and shut off your power to manipulate Souls?" He shook his head. -I have never thought of doing so. It is too dangerous-

"Well, we can work together to make an automated system for it? Then you can actually take a break? And maybe help me convince Time Baby to do so too?" I patted his cheek. He nodded slowly. -I shall try to find a way to do this-

I rubbed his face for a while before I brought the subject up "Why haven't you tried doing something like this before?" Ax sighed, somehow managing to look old and worn down despite still looking like a giant baby salamander. -I had not considered it. I had my duty and the method I was meant to do it. Nothing more, nothing less-

Meaning he had gotten used to a routine and never thought about changing it. Looks like even he could get tunnel vision. Well, considering how anal Time Baby got about his own… yeah. I can see that happening. I rubbed Ax's face, squishing his soft cheeks. "Well we can get your autopilot thing up and running for now. And then I can work on making one for Time Baby…"

Ax nuzzled me. -That would be nice. I will contact him later- he paused and then asked, -Want to help me create a new dimension? It has been far too long since we've last done so-

"Sure." I wiggled myself deeper into his arms and rumbled in content. I liked watching him create new dimensions. They were pretty. He creates a new space and it expands after a small explosion of energy goes off that I help set off…

Wait. I squinted off into the multiverse. I HAVE helped Ax make a lot of dimensions, but there were many more that I don't remember being part of. Where was he...

"Where are you getting these initial energy bursts from?" I asked suspiciously. Ax looked sheepish. I paused and thought about it. Mother fucker.

"You've been taking the energy that leaks out of the Nightmare Realm, haven't you?" I stared at him. His fins twitched in a guilty fashion. -It means I don't have to wait for you and the energy's already leaking out so…- he responded.

"You lazy ass!" I laughed as I played with his cheeks like a drum set. He glanced down at me. -You are not angry?-

"I'm annoyed you never asked first but heck, I'm glad that all my excess energy is being used for something. I was afraid all the leakage was just going off randomly. It'd be a waste." I patted his cheeks, watching it wobble. "But you should have just asked. I wouldn't have said no."

Ax was quiet for a while before hugging me again. -You are so different- he told me. I rumbled against his arms. "Is that a good thing?" I just wanted to hear him say it.

Ax nodded. -In this case, yes-

I glowed at the roundabout praise. Oh. Ohhhh. Oh man I felt so… giddy at the sound of that. What can I say? I like hearing confirmation that dad liked (preferred) me over some other Bill.

"I'm...actually pretty lucky." I commented quietly. Ax tilted his head at me. -How so?-

"You actually care." He did! He did! He said so himself! And it had to be true or he wouldn't say such nice things to me! "I met Blue's Ax. He's...blank. Less of a person and more of an automated system of rules, laws and authority." I patted Ax's squishy arms. "You're a person." I noted. "And I'm so lucky." I was so lucky that my Ax was a person.

I glanced up at him. "I had thought all the AXOLOTL were connected, even those beyond my Door, but that other Ax was nothing like you. And the Ax that got summoned by brother that first time me and Seb were there wasn't HIS AXOLOTL. It was a different one." I frowned. Who was that other AXOLOTL then? "I hadn't thought about how different the Ax in other worlds could be. And especially about how my Doors reach farther than you can."

Ax rumbled. -I am not as powerful as you seem to believe-

I scoffed. "You have power HERE. I'm not gonna hold it against you for not having power everywhere."

My thought process shifted onto another topic that I had been meaning to talk to Ax about. "What if I don't want a prophecy?" I asked, almost feeling ashamed to do so. After all, I was the one who begged him for a Zodiac. And now I was changing my mind on it? Ax paused at my sudden question. -If you really don't want one, I won't make one ...but your Zodiac can still destroy you. I do not want that to happen-

I shrugged. "If I'm not 100% a dick, then they would have no reason to hurt me."

Ax still seemed worried but if I didn't want to get a prophecy he wouldn't force me to. I told him I would be fine. Even if the worst case scenario happened and my Ford ended up hating me ...I'm sure I could convince enough of my Zodiac to NOT hate me and kill me. I had no desire to hurt them or destroy the 3rd dimension. Maaaaaaybe take it over but ONLY because I want to make sure the Earth doesn't end up a horrible mess if humans somehow manage to fuck up the planet enough that it dies long before it's time.

Heck, I might just manually filter out the Earth's atmospheric issues if I could. But I would need to BE there. Which would mean a portal, built THERE. But that was only a last resort sort of thing.

It's fine, I just had to be on good behavior. I was going to see about diverting canon. I mean, AUs like Seb's dimension or Brother's dimension existed! I ignored the fact that they were both punched to death by Stan anyway at some point of their existence. They got better! So… eh?

Ax nudged me. -Are you ready?- he got us back on track. I nodded and watched him form a new Space. A new dimension. It was empty. It still needed a spark, a bang to get things rolling. I floated up and gave Ax one last cuddle before I Blinked away into this new space and breathed carefully. My bricks glowed. A rumbling sound vibrated into the space around me. It raised in pitch, going into a high whine until I exploded.

Things were blurry as I slowly reformed myself. Ooh. I felt surprisingly refreshed despite having blown myself up. It was surprisingly good stress relief when I was doing it on purpose and not just overloading. I pulled myself together into a new vessel and prepared to Blink back to Ax. Now we just need Time Baby to connect into the world so things can start to move forward.

In fact…

I looked around. Yeah, Time Baby already added his part. The space dust was swirling and clicking together. I've watched universes form so many times by now but it never stopped being beautiful to watch. I Blinked back to dad so we could watch it together. He cuddled me in his arms as we watched the particles click and build, pulling together and pulling in more mass from the particles around them. It was… soothing. I leaned back into Ax's embrace and allowed myself to calm. I had a plan of action, help Ax figure out how to make an autopilot function that could hold up his pillar for him. Help Ax figure out how to seal off his power to manipulate Souls and Free Will. Then Ax would be able to go out and meet people, talk to people.

Heck, I…

I paused as I was struck with this thought. I was lonely for a very long time, with only Ax and Time Baby for company. But I have my Friends now, my new family. But Ax? He only had me. Time Baby never cared enough to visit. Ax had no one but me.

I'd known that for a long time, but thinking about it now, that was just… That's… so sad.

I'm sure people might think that I would feel smug, like 'Ahah! I'm Ax's only friend so I can use him and manipulate him!' but I really didn't think of it. Why would I? I just felt bad for him. Imagine having no one but ME for company. I'm awful. Ax deserved better. So I needed to figure out how to help him. So he would be able to leave the Space between Spaces and go socialize or something.

Doesn't he just talk to the other AXOLOTL? Must suck, to have no one to talk to but yourself and an unstable, emotionally compromised demon god. And a giant talking baby who never cared. I nodded to myself. I needed to help Ax make some more friends.

An awful thought passed through my head. What if Ax got new friends and didn't want me anymore? I shook my head. Naw, that wouldn't happen. Friends are friends. Ax was my DAD. He could get all the friends he wanted, but he would always be my dad. Then a different thought hit me. What if Ax found someone 'special' in his life? Like… a lady friend? Or a gentleman friend (I ain't judgin') and then…

… and then I could have a mom…

I squealed and rolled around in his arms. He stared at me with a mildly confused expression. -I don't even want to know-

"Hey, hey!" I patted his arm, eye sparkling. "What's your orientation?" I asked. "Like, are you attracted to other Axolotls? What if I found some pretty lady-lotls?" He looked almost disturbed. -Whatever train of thought you're on, please st-

"I want a mom!" I declared before he finished his sentence. Ax looked absolutely flabbergasted. Like, his face was:

>( 0__0 )<

instead of the usual >(--__--)< expression. I giggled. Ax actually sputtered. -I do n-not require such companionship- I whined. That's no fun. "It would be nice to have a mom again…" I sighed. I know I didn't NEED parents. But… still?

I guess, part of me was trying to distance myself from the whole, everyone's growing older thing by trying to indulge myself in being a child. It was just me running away from reality again, but still. It made me feel better.

Ax sighed. -You do not need me to get you a mother. Go choose your own-

I considered that. Yeah. That made more sense. I chose Ax as my dad. I chose Blue as my brother. I could choose my own mom too! A thought for another time. I watched the formation and development of that new dimension for a while before bidding Ax a farewell and Blinking back home to my friends.

-----

I floated into Ammy's room and stopped dead in my tracks. After a few seconds, I continued on my way. "What cha doing Ammy?" I asked. He was stringing up some papers and circling a few articles with a marker. The segmented shape turned a few eyes to me. "Hello mother. I am merely completing this section of my research."

"Cool." I said simply. "It looks like a conspiracy board."

Ammy tilted his top segment and said simply, "Indeed." I peered closer at the articles. There were pages and pages about the various groups who worshipped the AXOLOTL. I tilted in confusion. "Are you researching the Ax cults?" Ammy nodded. ''How is it that so many societies and species know about and worship grandfather despite never meeting him?"

I shrugged. "Seers can sometimes catch a glimpse of him in their visions. They can easily feel how powerful he is." And if you've somehow glimpsed the face of god, why wouldn't you try to start a cult in his worship? "I think Jessie's temple is the only place that actually worships him properly." Mainly because I actually talk about Ax to her. And pass on messages, whenever he actually decides to send one.

Otherwise… I'm sure they would have just started using Ax's name to promote their OWN cause, outside of whatever beliefs that Ax really had. Like all religions. Then again, Ax's thing was pretty simple. Don't destabilize the universe and cause the end of all reality. Simple.

Anything else was just extra.

Ammy nodded in thought. "So even outside of your direct influence, there are entities that discover grandfather and choose to worship him?"

"Obsessively so, and without full understanding of what they're doing, yes." I shrugged. It was hilarious how wrong they were. Ammy nodded. "And none of them have ever met grandfather?"

I shook my head. Ammy hummed in thought before moving a few of the threads. "Interesting." He deadpanned. "And yet, they worship him regardless, merely because of his power."

"That tends to happen." I shrugged. "I have plenty of worshippers too. And I can tell you now that the vast majority of them have never met me."

Ammy nodded. "More research is needed…"

I wasn't quite sure what he was after but I patted one of his angles and smiled. "Well, good luck on… whatever this is. But dinner's gonna be ready soon, just came to let you know." He nodded, already picking up some old books and flipping through pages. Well, as long as he's having fun.

---

Dinner was calmer than usual. Everyone seemed distracted. I looked around and wondered what was on their minds. I mean… the only thing I can think of was how I told them that I had been advised to stop taking jobs for Time Baby. I told them how I didn't want to kill for him anymore but perhaps I could fake it. And that, if worse comes to worse, we might have to watch out for the Federation out in public.

I didn't think it would upset them all THIS much? At least, that might be what the problem was? Well… only one way to find out…

"Are you guys doing ok?" I asked as I cut up the Sandworm steak to serve out to them. 8-Ball opened his mouth but Hectorgon slapped his hand across it. "It's fine. We're just thinking." he assured me. I wondered if I should press the subject but perhaps it would be better to let them tell me on their own time? "Well, if you need help with anything, just ask." I told them. 8-Ball nodded, keeping his mouth shut. Toobie nodded along, mimicking his dad.

Keyhole gave me a smile. "Don't worry Bill. We will." I huffed. Well, I'll hold them to that. I worried. I always did. I haven't gotten summoned for another job yet but part of me was still unsure what to do. I don't want to kill for him. Is there a way to do my jobs without killing anyone? Stan and Brother claimed I should just run for it. But I can't avoid Time Baby forever.

I wonder if dad talked to him…

---

Ax sighed. -You do not have to agree to him. He can do it on his own- I grumbled. "But what if he DOES try to pressure me into it?" Ax sighed again. -He's old enough to do this on his own now. If he continues to bother you...then I'll speak with him. I have also spoken to him about automating his pillar. He would be open to doing so, but doesn't want any help from you in constructing it.-

That was more than Ax has ever spoken about this subject before. He normally stayed silent about the matter. I was starting to get worried. "Why are you being so...active lately?" I place a hand on his face. "Seriously, are you okay? You're not sick or something right?" Ax had the audacity to roll his eyes at me. At ME! Like I'm the crazy one-- ah wait, right, I AM crazy, but STILL!

-I am fine. I have merely… done a lot of thinking- Ax lowered his frills. -And I have been… lazy- he admitted. I stared. Ax stroked my side with a finger. -And I have been given more freedom to do what I want. And I want to try to… be a father- he admitted. I didn't understand what he meant, but I DID understand that he wanted to be a dad. And that meant he wanted… to protect me from Time Baby. Which was why he was going to talk to him. I was floored by this thought. I had never… thought that Ax would take MY side-- like, for reals! Against Time Baby!

It was too amazing to be real. I shook. "I don't understand?" It didn't make any sense. Ax rumbled. -You… don't have to kill for him. You don't have to kill at all if you don't want to- he sighed. -He's been too reliant on you anyway-

I couldn't really believe what I was hearing. Ax tilted his head at me. -I would like for you two to get along, but don't force yourself to. It might have been too much to ask of you- he sounded almost regretful. I really couldn't understand what was going on right now. Ax stroked a finger along my side. -Don't worry too much. I am merely...trying to learn what it means to be a father…-

I blinked up at him, unsure what this all meant for me. What would happen...if Ax started being active? What would happen to the multiverse if he could come out and interact with people as well? What would it mean for the state of the world? A part of me felt like such a thing would cause untold chaos and panic...

….which sounded AMAZING!

I cackled to myself as I continued to try and figure out how to make a auto-system for Ax's pillar and Time Baby. Once I got these done… well...

Ax poked me. "Eep!" I squeaked.

-You're thinking about something naughty again…- Ax sighed. I just whined and flopped around on his arm.

---

Crafting the autopilot was difficult. I ended up spying on Time Baby and observing how he did it. It was a rather complex system. But, well, I have learned some things from when I Looked at Blue's Ax (I shuddered faintly) and I saw how I could tweak a few things here and there to create the effect I want. The problem would be how to test this without Time Baby noticing and getting on my case about it. (Weird how many things still worked similarly, despite my dimensional set not having an Outside. We're not a game, not like Blue's world. And I'm pretty sure Seb's world isn't a game either, despite him and brother having similar backstories. Though now I was curious, who created the Game that brother lived in? Could I get to the Outside of his world if I tried? So many questions~!)