148 Stressing

Me and Jack discuss some more issues that could arise for the next hour and try to build the facts and prepare myself for when the investigator shows up. I can't lose my cool or get pissed off, or I could be considered, unwilling to cooperate and then my probation would become a suspension.

Once he leaves, I make my way to the bedroom and find Sarina, curled up in the fetal  position, hugging a pillow, asleep. I can tell she's been crying and my heart pains, guilt rising because these tears are because of me. I know she can't be worried financially, she makes money without having to show up every day. So it must be she's not feeling well and of course... Tori. It didn't take long after her name came up that she came back here to the room. 

I should have listened to my mother. I should have told her. Now, it's out in the light and I look like a huge fucking hypocrite. 

I go the bathroom and wash my face, like it might wash my guilt away. If only it was that easy.

I'm going to make sure I take this asshole down and drag him through the mud with all the problems he's been causing in not only my marriage but my job as well. I don't care what it takes.

Crawling into bed behind Sarina, I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer to me. She groans and suddenly bolts upright and starts dry heaving into the trash can. When she seems to have stopped, she sips from a glass of water and groans laying back on the bed.

"This fucking sucks." Sarina mumbles. "I am so damn hungry but nauseous too that I can't even nibble on a cracker. I'm barely able to sip from my water without wanting to hurl." 

"Do you want to schedule an appointment to see what you can take?" I ask her, knowing that morning sickness is a part of the process, but she's obviously not feeling well at all. 

"I called Lirael. She said I could take some Emitrole. It's supposed to help with the nausea." She sits back up and leans towards the trash can to pick it up.

"I'll get dressed and go buy some for you." I get out of the bed and start reaching for something to wear.

"She also suggested some Insure to sip on, so if I keep it down I'm getting some calories and vitamins." Sarina sets the trashcan down on the floor and takes another sip of water.

"Any flavors you want me to steer clear of?" I ask her as I slip my shoes on.

"No vanilla or strawberry. Lirael said chocolate, cappuccino, or butter pecan are the only flavors that are bearable." 

"Alright my love, I'll be back shortly." I kiss her forehead before I go to leave.

Right as I get to the door I hear, "Brian?"

"Yes, baby?" I turn back around.

"Thank you." She whispers.

"I love you baby, you don't have to thank me, but you're welcome." I smile at her and head to the local pharmacy to see if they have what I need.

When I came back, she was snoozing and I didn't want to wake her. I stuck the Insure in the fridge and placed the antinausea medicine right next to her water on the nightstand.  I climb carefully into bed, which causes little whines to escape her before she falls back asleep. I am afraid to touch her and possibly cause her more pain or wake her. 

So I lay as close as I can my hand right next to her, paying attention in case she wakes. I had to have fallen asleep, because I jolt when I hear her heaving into the trash can again. I sit up and rub her back, trying to soothe her as she heaves. I grab the bottle of anti nausea and pour her some to take as soon as her stomach stops.

She downs the medicine and sips some water before laying back on the bed facing away from me still.

"Why didn't you tell me you slept with Tori? I know it was long before you ever met me but you could have told me." Sarina finally whispers her question, as if just speaking too loud will cause her stomach to roll again.

"I.. don't know why. Maybe because I felt it didn't matter? It was in college and it was a drunk night that I really only remember slivers of. You could ask my mother about it even, it wasn't a pleasant experience." 

"Your mother knows about it?! Are you serious?" Sarina moans. 

"Yes, she was coming to visit me and walked in to find her naked and me passed out naked too." 

Sarina groans again, "I know it was before me and it shouldn't bother me. It really doesn't, it's the fact that you didn't feel the need to mention it after I was introduced. I mean, you would think that would be something if the roles were reversed, you would like me to share with you." 

I let out a weighted breath, "I know, I'm a hypocrite for not telling you. I'm sorry, but it really didn't mean enough to me to feel the need to say anything. It's not like I knew we'd be around each other as much as what we are now. Which I'm not trying to make excuses for either, it's just.... she's my patient now. That's if your ex didn't just fucking ruin my career." I run my hands through my hair, leaning forward as I keep pulling my hair, thinking of all the issues that are going to arise. 

I could lose my license, lose my patients, lose my credibility. This is a permanent mark on my professional career, this will never go away. 

I feel Sarina's hands on my back and thigh, I drop my hands and see the guilt on her face.

"I'm sorry, I feel like this is all my fault. I'm not happy about Tori but that's not what I should be focusing on. What can we do to get these dropped? None of the actual people involved are going to press charges."

I sigh, "They don't have to. They are going to investigate me regardless and look for ANY mistakes I may or may not have made during my time as a doctor. Anything and everything they find wrong will be brought forward.  That's why I keep locked drawers in my office and my computer is password protected. I follow the laws and regulations, so hopefully I won't have any issues." 

"So what would you like me to do to help you out babe?" She wraps her arms around my chest, and I wrap my arm around her shoulders while we lean back in bed.

"Just stay by my side. Even if I was to lose my license, I can go back to school and switch professions, become a medical underwriter or something of the sort." I rub her shoulder and pull her close to me.

"I'll support you no matter what happens, Brian. I'll be there right by your side and do my best to be what you need." Sarina squeezes my chest and I sigh.

"Thank you baby. I love you. How is your stomach?" I ask, hoping she's feeling better.

"A little bit better. Thank you." She nuzzles her face against my chest and sighs.

She's so cute sometimes, I can't help but lay a kiss on her head. I brush my hand through her hair, playing with the strands. I sit there thinking about this ordeal with Marcus and the medical board investigating me. I'm on probation for the time being and my medical license is up for renewal next month, which means they will most likely not renew it until the investigation is over. Which means my patients will have to be switched to the others working. I'll have to tell the others that work with me about what is going on too. 

I lean my head back against the head board, stress just building up inside of me. Wanting to start taking care of things already but know nothing can be done until tomorrow. I just don't know how I can have two lawsuits going on at the same time. All of it will be helpful and useful, we just need to be able to prove that Marcus is the one that hired the private investigator to follow Sarina and take those pictures. I'll have to use everything I got to try and prove that Marcus is slandering me and causing problems in my personal and now professional life. All of this is happening right when Sarina has only recently found out she was pregnant. She doesn't need the stress of all this right now. This could look bad on her too and her business, she could lose business if this becomes public.

I guess we should hold off on buying a house now. With everything so uncertain, it would be for the best.