Chapter 35: Haruka Suzuki + her diary. The plan has started.

After sleeping, I woke up still in that hospital room.

But this time, I was completely alone.

There was no one with me.

"Ah... I've been left alone," I thought.

My first thought after opening my eyes was Ema.

So I got up and checked my phone to see the time, and I saw that it was almost dinner time.

"Damn... how long did I sleep?" I wondered.

I had slept for a really long time.

No messages from Ema.

But my awakening was immediately disturbed by intrusive thoughts.

I remembered the words Kazuha said about my situation.

I couldn't ignore her words.

She was right, I had to do something.

I decided to give myself a deadline of two weeks.

As much as I might love Ema, I couldn't ruin my life.

Her behaviors were toxic.

I promised to help , to love and support her.

But all I was feeling was suffering being around her.

Did she feel love or... something else? What did she think of me?

Our relationship couldn't go on like this...

It all happened so quickly.

The most serious thing of all was the fact that she had lied to me.

She had never done that... Never.

And... I can't deny that my trust in her had really diminished to the minimum.

I had made a decision: If Ema didn't change her attitude, I would end the relationship with her.

It sounds strange to say, but I received more attention from Evangeline and Kazuha than from her.

Two strangers treated me better than my girlfriend whom I was supposed to marry one day.

At that moment, I reflected for a while, focusing on my emotions.

"What do I feel when I'm with her...?" I wondered.

Before that moment, I had never asked myself that question.

I always automatically associated the word "Love" with her.

But thinking about it, during the last period, I was just feeling bad while I was with her...

Except during intimate moments.

Kazuha might be right... maybe I didn't feel love anymore...

"I'll see how it goes during these weeks," I thought, clenching my fists with determination.

I was ready for anything, breaking up with Ema.

Of course, I would help her first to resolve the situation with Chiko.

*Knock knock* The sound of a knock on the door of the room caught my attention, distracting me from all these thoughts.

"U-Uh? Who is it? Come in!" I said, surprised.

"I-It's Suzuki! Can I come in?" She asked. I

t was Suzuki. "Y-Yes, of course! Come in!"

I replied with a somewhat relieved tone.

After a moment, she opened the door and entered.

My eyes widened.

Suzuki was dressed very nicely.

She was prepared in every way, as if she were going out.

I was totally enchanted by her beauty.

She even wore beautiful earrings.

A red lipstick that made her beautiful lips stand out... Soft, white, candid skin like snow and white hair like clouds, with a braid tied around her head.

All of this also highlighted her wonderful blue eyes.

Suzuki had never affected me like this before.

"S-She's beautiful," I thought.

"H-Hey, Fumi... H-How are you?" She said, blushing and touching her fingers.

"She's adorable..." I thought. Her beauty made me blush too.

"Everything's fine, Haruka..." I replied.

Without realizing it, I called her by name and it made her even more embarrassed.

"Eh?! It's the second time you've called me by name..." She said, with a tone that seemed really happy.

"S-Sorry... I shouldn't have done it..." I said.

"N-No... it's okay. It made me happy. I wish that you could always call me by name."

She replied, smiling at me.

"Oh... Alright, Haruka. In fact, we've known each other for a long time... you're right." I said, scratching my head.

She smiled at me with a very tender expression.

"I see you're feeling better!!" She added, trying to change the subject.

"Yes, it seems so. I'm much better. Although I still have to meet a doctor." I replied to her.

"Thank goodness... I'm so happy."

 Haruka said while taking my hand.

"Why is everyone holding my hand?" I asked myself.

For some strange reason, Haruka's touch sent a shiver down my spine.

"Fumihiro! I-I-I-I..." Haruka stuttered something.

I felt my heartbeat increase.

She leaned closer to my face.

"I-I've prepared lunch for you!" She said, stepping back and running out of the door, then returning with a very large bento.

I let out a sigh of relief.

Every time I saw Haruka, I always felt guilty knowing what she felt towards me.

I knew perfectly well that I couldn't reciprocate her feelings... but despite that, I couldn't imagine a life without her presence.

"W-Wow... it's very big..." I replied to Haruka with a very surprised tone.

I didn't expect such a gesture.

I was really happy knowing that she had done it genuinely.

"I-I prepared it myself," she replied, not looking me in the eyes.

"How wonderful..." I thought. I thanked Haruka. "Thank you, Haruka.

You've been too kind to go to this trouble..." I replied, taking the bento.

She smiled at me very happily.

She was in avery happy mood and I didn't understand why.

There was something else.

It didn't take long for me to open the Bento.

Inside it there was really everything.

It actually was a full dinner.

And the most beautiful thing was that everything was perfectly in order and looked exquisite.

There were even chopsticks inside.

She had thought of everything.

My stomach growled at the sight of those things.

It had been a while since I ate.

Without thinking twice, I took the chopsticks and started eating very quickly.

"It's Delicious!!! Congratulations, Haruka!!" I said, while tasting the delicacies she had prepared.

Every bite was like a caress on the palate that left me really happy.

Haruka was very happy about all this and chuckled sweetly.

"T-Thank you... I'm glad you liked it," she said, looking at me.

It didn't take me long to finish everything.

After finishing, Haruka wiped my mouth with a napkin from her pocket and took the bento that was on me, then placed it on a bedside table near my bed.

Then, Haruka sat down next to me again.

And so, after finishing, we both started talking a bit.

They were normal topics, about school etc.

Talking to her was like a breath of fresh air.

I felt really good.

We talked for a whole hour about many topics.

They were normal things.

We didn't talk about my situation or what had happened to me.

At that moment, I needed my head to be clear.

After that chat, Haruka received a call from her father who told her she had to go home.

He also said that the driver was waiting for her downstairs in the hospital parking lot.

Haruka was very sad after receiving that news.

She would have been able to stay with me all night.

"S-Sorry, Fumi... My father said I have to go back..." she said with a very sorry tone.

I smiled at her to try to cheer her up.

"It's all okay, don't worry. Tomorrow I'll ask the doctors if they'll discharge me, so I can also go back to school," I replied.

I was calm. "Yes... Fumi. It's me who should thank you actually." Said Haruka.

"Eh? What do you mean?" I asked, scratching my head.

"N-Nothing. See you tomorrow! I promise I'll come to find you again and bring you something to eat. Oh, and by the way, your mother came too. She had to go home to take care of Takibi, but she told me to tell you that she would come back here again." Haruka replied with a happy but sad tone at the same time.

"Oh... Okay... Thank you so much again, Haruka." I said to her with a tone of gratitude.

Without realizing it, Haruka ran towards me and hugged me for a few seconds.

In those moments, I could feel her body trembling.

This action must have cost her all her courage.

Her action caught me totally off guard and embarrassed me quite a bit.

I was still a boyfriend, so I can't deny that I felt guilty for Ema.

But for some strange reason, i felt that the hug was different.

I felt that it was totally genuine and full of love.

Different from the ones Ema gave me.

After letting go, Haruka was all red in the face and with a very happy smile.

She quickly said goodbye with a bow and ran out of the room.

It was a very strange situation.

It seemed that that nap had changed an inner part of me.

"What's happening to me?" I asked myself.

In other circumstances, I would have felt totally guilty even for a glance at another girl, but after this event with Haruka... I didn't care anymore.

Even if Ema saw it, I wouldn't care.

Maybe it was because I knew deep down that there was nothing wrong, or maybe because I had realized that I had to do what I wanted, without thinking about it.

*Ring Ring* This time my thoughts were interrupted by a ringtone coming from my phone.

"Who could it be?" I asked myself.

It was Kanna.

She had sent me a photo where she was with Ema.

Both were smiling while they were home for dinner.

Ema still had a bandage around her arm for the wounds.

I knew it wasn't a genuine smile.

I can't deny that I got a little angry.

Ema still hadn't shown up to see me.

I stopped asking myself questions.

After the photo, there was a message that read "I'm keeping an eye on her, so we haven't come to see you yet."

"What the hell does that mean?!" I asked myself.

"Relax, I'm going back to sleep. Goodnight!" I replied to them.

After my reply, i immediately placed the phone on the other side of the room.

I didn't care anymore.

Then, I tried to get out of bed.

The cables that were connected to my chest and body were fortunately long enough, so I managed to get up to approach the window to get some fresh air.

I started looking at the cityscape. T

he lights were on and the evening sky was gently caressing the atmosphere, showing us a full moon.

The cool wind caressed my entire face.

I started to think.

"If Ema doesn't change her attitude, I'll leave her. I can't ruin my life like this."

This had become my fixed thought.

I had made my choices.

I had to continue pretending to be the good guy as I always had been, in order to understand Ema's behaviors.

Beyond that, I had to discover the connections I had with Kazuha and Evangeline.

For some strange reason, their names made me feel some strange effect in my heart. It was like it tickled me.

I didn't remember anything about them, even though I understood that they were part of my past.

The only memory I have of Kazuha is the one on the beach as children, but if she hadn't told me, I would never have remembered it.

I had to ask her more things.

"Mmm... I should still have her contact written somewhere," I said, remembering that I had put it in my jeans pocket.

That night, I didn't sleep much.

I stayed for a while looking out the window, while I was absorbed in my thoughts.

"Kazu..Ha..." I murmured, with my chin resting on the palm of my hand.

After a while, I went back to sleep.

I lay on the bed and looked at the ceiling for a while before falling asleep, trying to organize my thoughts and plans for the next few days.

I had made my decision.

Most of me hoped that Ema would change, while another small part wanted to be free from the bad thoughts she had brought me.

It was a shame to leave the girl I had been with for a lifetime, but self-love must come first of all.

"I'll help her and then... we'll see," I said before finally falling asleep.

That night I slept in the fetal position, as I did as a child.

I missed that...

  ~~~~~ The next morning, 7:30 am ~~~~~

I felt a strange touch on my chest.

"U-Uh... who is it?" I asked as I opened my eyes with great effort.

After seeing the light again, I saw a doctor at my side who was checking me.

"And... Here we are. You're doing great!" said the old woman with a very kind tone. After that sentence, she removed all the cables that were attached to me.

"You can get up now, Aoyama-Kun." She said with a smile.

I did as she said and stood up.

I was full of energy and I stood very well.

"Okay, now try to walk." The nurse said.

I nodded and started to take a few steps in the room, always after putting on my slippers.

"Yes, you're fine. You're no longer at risk. You'll be discharged around 10 o'clock. In the meantime, take a shower, it's all there. Your mother gave us everything."

The nurse added, pointing out all the clothes and linens my mother had brought.

I thanked her with a bow and went to take a shower.

The old nurse then left my room, leaving me privacy.

After washing and tidying up, I checked the time on my phone. It was 9:30 am.

I also saw a message from Ema.

"My love, I'm outside the hospital waiting for you. They told me they'll let you go soon, so I also took a day off from school to spend time with you!!"

This was the message.

I smiled bitterly because Ema was taking for granted that I would always be there for her, while in reality I had already decided what to do, and this time I was totally determined and sure of myself.

After a while, I went downstairs to sign some papers to be discharged from the hospital and finally walked towards the exit.

As soon as I got out, I saw Ema who was dressed in a very cute way.

She was very beautiful.

As soon as she saw me, she ran towards me almost with tears in her eyes and hugged me very tightly.

"My love! I missed you so much..." She said, burying her face in my chest, rubbing it.

"Ahaha..." I laughed nervously. "I'm fine now..." I said, while returning the hug.

"Hehehe... F-Fumi...~ I love you so much..." Ema said.

"I love you too, you know that." I replied, but with a cold and calm tone.

Fortunately, Ema didn't give it any weight. The trial period had officially begun, and this was just the beginning...

  ~~~~~Extra-Suzuki's Diary.~~~~~

Dear diary,

I'm here writing these words to you.

You know very well that I've been in love with Fumihiro for over a year, right?

Well... You have no idea how much it hurts me to see him suffer because of a person who is destroying him from the inside.

Before they were happy, and I was happy too with them.

Seeing him happy was enough for me to be happy too.

Fumihiro was everything I wanted, or rather I wanted his happiness.

The fact that I wasn't close to him was irrelevant... until now.

After seeing Ema's behavior, it seems that destiny wants to test me.

Maybe it wants to reward me? Maybe it's giving me some chance? I don't know.

I really want to repay the favor.

He saved my life in my worst moment, he saved me from loneliness...

I love everything about him, anything.

His smile, the way he talks to me... even the way he's clumsy.

Do you remember when I told you he called me by my name for the first time? I didn't sleep all night.

I was happy.

For a very short time, but I was.

I fell in love with that boy without even realizing it... I was antisocial and broken, with no friends... with an overprotective and indifferent father at the same time.

Everyone was scared of me and took distance.

I just wanted to be loved and accepted.

He was the only one who was never afraid of me or who I was.

Despite not being in a romantic way, he gave me all the love i needed.

He always showed kindness towards me... even in the smallest and most banal gestures.

Despite being already involved, he always treated me like a human being and made me make friends.

Thanks to him, I discovered how beautiful it is to have friends, to go out, to have fun.

Even just the thought of him makes my heart beat fast.

I know it's really bad to say, but a toxic person like Ema doesn't deserve him at all.

I'm sure I could make him happy.

I really hope that things between them end, for the good of both Fumi and Ema... and also for mine.

I can't stand seeing the person I love suffering and crying because of someone who has even betrayed him.

It's not fair... not at all.

I'd do my best to make him smile every day.

That's what i'd do if he was my boyfriend.

I'd do my my best every day, evertything in my power just to see his smile.

Today I made him lunch... I wanted to cheer him up for the whole situation that happened to him...

He called me by my name again... 

You have no idea of how much has made me happy.

I cried when i came home, in fact i'm writing with tears of joy in my eyes.

I even prepared myself to be beautiful enough to make him to like me.

I hope he was truly happy about today.

I love him too much.

I would give my soul for him...

Why is life so cruel? 

Why do the good people always stay with toxic people who clearly don't love them?

Why are people like this? 

What's wrong with the world?

I don't know.

I'd do my best to make someone happy...

I'd love him every day... I'd shower him with love.

Life is so... unfair... sometimes.

And destiny is even worse than that.

Thank you for listening to me, diary...

And thank you for being my friend. See you tomorrow with more stories.

  ~Haruka Suzuki