Witnessing the past (2)
Did my vision fail me? I swear I saw the handle going inside and then through my hand like I was a hologram.
Perplexed beyond words, I shake my head from left to right and make a second attempt to grab the door handle. This time with less force and more precision. What kind of a dumb character would I be if I could not open a tiny door? I am already useless. No need to create another level of worthlessness to achieve.
Anyhow, that should have been a fluke. Because of all the stress and confusion, loads of cold sweat covered my palms. Thus, my hand slipped. It can not be any simpler and would logically explain what just happened. These weird occurrences happening are probably making me lose my mind a little.
...How I wish that is the case...
"...What the fuck?"
Everything proceeds similarly to the first trial I made, down to the tiniest details. Since I was paying attention to it more than before, I saw how my fingers sank and disappeared into the door handle, only to reappear on the opposite side. When I finally stopped, my whole fist was inside of it, with a few knuckles sticking out. This body of mine seems to be phasing through the material. In a way, I am like a spirit with an ethereal body.
If anyone were listening to me, I might get punched for sounding crazy.
"What kind of bug is this?!" I shout to hide how uneasy my heart has become. "Is this even possible?! Is it a glitch? A virus? An error code?! But I can touch my body normally?! And I'm not phasing through the floor or anything like that?"
With so many possibilities, I cannot decide which one is true. But no matter the answer, nothing in this world can calm my heart down. I can hear the drum-like sounds right now, for goodness' sake! And when a hand is placed in the middle of the chest, I feel like my heart is growing pairs of arms and legs to dig out from its owner's body!
Regardless, I have wasted so much time with these bugs and errors. The more I delay myself, the worse Kurokawa's situation will become. This unimaginable change in my physiology can wait until Kurokawa has been found safe and sound.
On the flip side, this...ability of mine gives me an idea.
"I should be able to walk through it...just like...this."
It begins with my hand going through the door in front, my arm, then my entire body. Even though I braced myself for any minor impacts that could have happened, the experience was uneventful. Boring, even. At most, I felt a slight chill up my spine because of the cold air coming from outside.
It works. I have no idea how, but it works.
Immediately after exiting the staircase behind, the usual scenery of our school's rooftop attacks me with its almost blinding light. There is a big difference between the dimly lit way leading to the roof and the roof itself. If one is already used to the environment behind that door, they would need a few seconds to squint their eyes and adjust.
"Okay. Didn't think it would be that easy. Now, then. What's left is finding Kurokawa. Where can she...be...hiding..."
When I think the weirdest thing today is having the ability to go through walls, something even worse happens.
Instead of Kurokawa standing lonely at the edge, looking down at the school ground, our favorite protagonist is here. Han is here. He is here with... another faceless person.
I could recognize that faceless person anywhere and anytime.
Because it is me!
"What the actual fuck!?" I blurt out.
Why would there be two of me?! This is no longer funny! This current bug in the system is just...just...Fuck! I can not even find the right words to describe my feelings anymore.
More importantly, they are not noticing me despite my curse word just now!
Coming closer to Han, I yell: "Hey! HEY! You damn blockhead! Don't ignore me!" and smack him.
Instead of seeing Han touching his head because of sudden pain, I see my hand going through his head like how it was with the metal door.
It then dawns on me.
The reason why I did not feel anything from the shadow people was because I walked through them. My current ethereal body never got into contact with theirs. In other words, since walking up, I have already been in this state.
"Okay, C, I'm all ears. Why did you call me all of a sudden?" Han asks the person in front of him. "Rachel is gone for a few minutes. We need to talk fast. She doesn't like me talking to anyone other than her."
Wait! What the fuck does that mean?! This is not a brag, but Blondie is supposed to be obsessed with me now!? Why does this feel like it happened in the past?!
"...I know. That's why I approached you. Listen, I need you to promise me something." His tone of voice...I mean...my tone of voice was heavy as if I had lived throughout many days without a good rest.
I... Goddamnit...He is tired. He sure makes me feel like that. And why the hell am I getting anxious over this conversation?! It has nothing to do with me! I need to find Kurokawa!!
"I can't promise you anything if I haven't heard it, man." Han shakes his head.
"No. You have to." That other me turns his face straight at Han's.
Well, this has been a blast. I am out of here, guys. Can not believe I am standing here to lollygag while the bookworm is trying to kill herself.
"Come on. Don't be unreasonable, C. We're not even that close. You hardly ever talk to us."
"...Perhaps I should tell you why, then."
Han frowns upon hearing the sarcastic tone: "Please, enlighten me."
"Okay. I know you helped Kurokawa hide her mother's dead body."
Instantly, Han goes pale. As if all blood is drawn from his body, Han's face looks as white as a new sheet of paper. I can even see his upper and lower jaws hitting each other, making clicking sounds. "Y-you're just joking. Th-there is no way Kurokawa or I would do that!"
"You don't look like you care about what I say," I reply coldly. "Don't worry. I'm not here to threaten you. Not yet, at least. Be thankful I am not telling Rachel your secret relationship with Kurokawa."
Holy moly! That faceless guy is me?! Nah! No way! Blackmailing has been on my mind before, but I never tried it.
Still, if this guy was created from a fantasy of mine, then that would explain his aggressiveness. It would explain a lot, too! Even the relationship between Rachel and him, plus the current me in this ethereal form, can be clarified if I think of it that way.
All of this could be a fantasy created by me! If so, the real Kurokawa would not be here, but the fantasy version would.
But...How the heck am I going to escape this place?!
"W-what do you want!?" Slumping down on the ground, Han quivers in fear.
Seeing so, the other me also lowers himself: "If you're thinking about asking Rachel to kill me, then be my guest. Although I don't like pain, I'm not afraid of dying. Between the two of us, Han, you should fear her more than me. Your thick-headedness will sooner or later cause your demise. I'll give you a bonus warning. If you want to live by her side, you better step up your game and pay her full attention rather than going around raising flags."
After saying that, he stands back up. However, the tension only seems to increase more and more.
"Anyway. Promise me, Han. Promise me that you will not kill Kurokawa even if she asks you to." I growl. "Promise me that, and I'll keep your dirty secret."
"T-that's it? You c-could have just asked me n-normally!" Upon knowing such a simple demand, Han cries while sitting. "Yes, I promise! God! Why would you do such a thing!?"
The other me turn his face to the Sakura tree in the middle of the school. "I don't expect much from you, honestly. It's not like I haven't tried talking to you before, but I keep failing due to the system's influence. I don't wish for my happiness anymore. Seeing them alive and happy is enough for me, Han. You can make them smile instead of me. Please, try to do it."
Even though he is talking to Han, I feel he is talking to himself. And, being a fantasy version of me, he also shares the curse of constantly failing to save the girls. This is perhaps why he has turned to such a morally questionable tactic. His way of doing it is not terrible, but threatening someone is not my personality.
I do not blame him, though. There are times when one must choose between doing right or wrong. Right now might be one of those moments. This world is too cruel, and he can not stand idly by and let the girls die, can he?
"I don't u-understand. I'll try my best!" Han nods his head vigorously. "Th-thank you."
"Don't thank me. I'm not doing this for you." After that, fantasy me walks to my side. Instinctively, I step out of the way for him to open the door leading down our classrooms. "And please don't come down the classroom for a while. I need to talk to Kurokawa for a bit."
Hearing that name, I quickly follow him. Unbeknownst to me, a painful reset is waiting down in our classroom.