Tulips Mania

"Today, we will auction the Yellow Tulips…."

"The freshest Yellow Tulips that bloomed today…."

"They are guaranteed to last at least for a week…."

"With some good care."

Mac and Cheese introduced the purpose of the auction while finishing each other's sentences.

I could hear the excited murmurs from beyond the curtains. Even Sir Pretzel rubbed his hands, preparing for a battle of bids.

With all this hype, I assumed the Tulips might be some miraculous plants that could cure incurable diseases. But, of course, I also looked forward to the auction.

"Our first sapling," Cheese pointed to the pot Mac had just picked up, "was grown from a direct offshoot of the plant gifted to Princess Frittata."

"If you remember, these plants only bloom in Summer," Mac said while highlighting the pot. "But the mage who managed to modify the plant to bloom in winter was bestowed a Marquee by Princess."

"This is an inheritor of a historical event! If you are a true connoisseur, don't miss this golden opportunity!"

The jubilance in Cheese's voice was infectious. All the nobles and affluent merchants were so-called connoisseurs, and they had fallen for her words, hook, line, and sinker.

"The minimum bid for this pot starts at 1000 gold. After that, each bid should increase by at least 50 gold coins. Material exchanges are welcomed."

'Th... Thousand Gold?' I sputtered. An ordinary commoner earned 600 to 800 gold per year. Artisans made the highest amongst the commoners, but rarely did their income exceeds 2000 gold coins.

Before I could get over my shock, the bidding frenzy started.

"1500 Gold!" A feminine voice sounded from the left.

"2000 Gold!" Even before Cheese had counted to one on the previous bid, another outrageous bid sounded.

"5000 Gold!" A brief moment of silence.

Cheese took stock of the situation.

"5000 Gold for a piece of history, going once…."

"5100 Gold!"

Before her gavel banged, a gruff voice sounded. I realized it was coming from my compartment. Sir Pretzel had bid for the Tulip!

It opened the floodgates for the real sharks. Small Traders and Merchants had lots of coins in hand and hence were the opening act.

On the contrary, the Nobles and Tycoons may lack the liquid funds. Still, they had accumulated rarities and lands over the years.

"2000 Gold and 10 Acres of land!"

"3000 Gold and an Asbestos Horse!"

The two bids were equally valuable. An acre of land could go for 200 to 400 gold, depending on its location and fertility. And most importantly, you had to be part of the nobility to own land. I knew this from the tales I heard from Christina.

I liked the Asbestos horses as a dragon. They were quite sumptuous. Every Asbestos horse sold for 1500 to 2000 gold depending on its age.

"...Going once…"

I had missed a few bids while I was reminiscing about the taste of horse meat. They had grown even more outrageous!

"5000 Gold and 20 acres of land!"

"8000 Gold and 3 Asbestos Horses!"

"6000 Gold and an Asbestos breeding mare"

This guy! I was speechless at this bid that came somewhere from the right. He was killing a hen to buy eggs!

Any Asbestos breeding mare would fetch 10 times the price of an Asbestos horse. This was a bid worth 26000 gold!

"Going Once, Going Twice, Going Thrice! And Sold!"

Cheese had hastened her gavel banging to deter any new bids involving land. A breeding mare would be much more profitable to the auction house than land far away from the city.

The successive few bids for Tulip pots were relatively calm. Even though the hosts tried to play them up by attaching them to important figures in the Empire, the response was lukewarm.

If the audience was not here to buy the Tulip itself, these pots might not even be sold. But, in this calm, Sir Pretzel managed to snag a pot for 4000 Gold.

"This is our second to last Pot of Tulip this evening," Mac announced as Cheese brought a pot into the spotlight.

"This pot of Tulips was modified by Marquis Hummus, the first mage to modify this plant."

"To date, only Princess Frittata and Marquis Hummus own one. You have a chance to own this limited edition Tulip today! Don't miss out!"

Mac and Cheese extolled the uniqueness of this Tulip, making the eyes of those in attendance shine.

The bidding frenzy started again.

"2000 Gold!"

"3000 Gold!"

"A date with me!"

Silence. Pin drop silence. Even Mac and Cheese on the stage didn't know what to do with such a bid.

"If a date is not enough, a night with me."

The slurred voice announced. The Lady misunderstood the meaning of silence.

Her announcement was met with exaggerated whispers.

"A night with Lady Fingers in exchange for a Tulip? Worth it!"

"I heard she is the most coveted woman in Crisps. Even His Majesty…"

"Lady Fingers must be lonely at nights since the passing of the Duke of Bangers."

"Didn't she marry the Duke shortly after Count Coco mysteriously died?"

Hearing the surrounding voices, I realized that Lady Fingers was this world's version of a black widow.

The hype that Mac and Cheese generated so painstakingly for auctioning the Tulip had vanished in a moment.

Mac and Cheese looked unsure as to how they should handle this situation. On the one hand, this might qualify as a material exchange, but how to quantify the price?

At this moment, the portly man who had greeted us at the entrance made his entry on stage.

Mac and Cheese looked relieved to see him.

"Sir Winey Bacchus…"

Mac tried to explain, but Bacchus gestured to him to be quiet.

"We do not accept payments in the form of unsolicited advances. Lady Dowager, you are an esteemed noble, and everyone here is a socialite. Please maintain the decorum."

I would never have thought the jovial man could erupt with such an imposing aura and rebuke a high-ranking dowager. I had one word for him; respect!

After this disruption, the males in the audience had an even greater incentive to bid for this Tulip. But Mac's words caused a round of cursing.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, we are skipping this item and moving to the last and the best Tulip of today's auction."

"Preposterous!"

"Absolutely unacceptable!"

"You can't remove an item that has been bid on!"

The last one was Sir Pretzel. Again, I could feel something disgusting enlarge and touch my hem.

Cheese waited patiently for the boisterous crowd to calm down. She smiled derisively, looking at the compartments where the protests were the loudest.

Everyone was an esteemed personality here. But, seeing their protests have no effect, they ultimately settled down while writing down this insult in their little black diaries.

I imagined the scene of a guy with blonde hair and fair skin in frilly orange robes writing, "Dear Diary, the Atticus Auctions insulted me today. Remind me to send my Super Secret Ninja assassins to kill them…."

When everyone had quieted, Cheese brought a flower pot intricately decorated and bejeweled. If the other pots shined like a star under the spotlight, this one glowed like a moon.