Rea

What the hell was I doing? we're teacher and student. I can't believe I just let him do something like that to me. It just happened so fast and I felt so weak. When he started touching me my legs just turned to Jell-O and I couldn't think straight. In that moment I didn't care about the consequences, I didn't think of what could happen. I'm twenty six and he's seventeen, a nine year age difference. Not only that but I'm his teacher for fucks sake. What was I going to do? After something like that happened? We can't start something from this. I need to end it.

When did he even start feeling that way towards me? He said he l-loved me. Maybe I've been to freindly with him these past three years. I didn't mean to get so close but it appeared he had no friends and was always reading alone on his free time. We talked about our favorite novels together after school sometimes and he appeared to really enjoy the time we spent together. I loved it when he stayed after school to talk to me. He always looked so hopefull when he talked about his favorite novels. It always reassured me when I was having a tough day. Even though I enjoyed spending time with him I always thought of him as just my student.

My first year as a teacher was also his first year of highschool. I've read a couple of romance novels between teacher and student and I've known that as a young female teacher I needed to be more careful. I know how terrible it could be for both his and my career if what happened today got out. I know just how wrong it is for a teacher to have such a relationship with a student is. I can't let this continue.

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My heart has been pounding all day today. I barley got any sleep last night becuase I couldn't stop thinking of what Tyler did to me and how it felt. He's been the only thing on my mind since then and he hasn't left for a minuet. What the hell is wrong with me? why is he constantly on my mind? I've never felt this way about someone before. I felt like I needed him, but then the tought of him still being my student kept stricking my heart. I hadn't thought of what my answer to his confession would soon entail. All I knew was that I couldn't accept his feelings as a teacher and that it'd be to embarrassing to actually face him after what he did to me.

Todays Friday and after sixth period came to an end after what felt like forever, my heart was racing, my body was burning up, and my legs felt so weak that I needed to sit down and get my thoughts together before Tyler showed up. After the first warning bell rang Tyler walked through the door and our eyes instantly met. He flashed me a little smirk and walked, slowly, to his desk. I didn't know if i was annpyed or embarrassed at the smile he gave me. Was he playing with me? No no, He's never been that type of person. But what do I really know? Hell, I didn't even know he was in love with me. Which still makes my face turn red at the thought of it. Today for class we continued reading Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. It's a great book for teaching literature. I let the students read and review what we read yesterday and ga e them the day to catch up on their reading comprehemsion work sheet. Theres no way I could bring myself to stand in front of the class, in front of Tyler, and confidently read. I could feel Tlyers stare as I graded the papers throughout the class. The bell rang and after all the students rushed out of the class, Vanessa Taliz, wearing the school uniform, a grey blazer matched with a white button up tucked under a grey skirt that was only about half ways above her knee, a little to short for the dress code, no tie and her top two buttons loose. One of the more struggling students in my class.

"Um, Ms. Walker?" she looks down at her paper. "I can't seem to find the quote that supports my answer on which nature or nurture affected the creature more".

Straightening my expression I explain, "well since it's your own opinion, which did you chose? nature or nurture?

"nurture".

"All right, the other day we covered a lot of good examples for nurture. You could use the scene on how the villagers react when they see the monster, you could use the example on how the monster was abondoned, or how he learned to survive on his own, which ever example you use, I reccomend you reread chapters fifteen through seventeen to find the quote you're looking for".

"Alright thanks" She seems satisfied and turns to walk away when she notices Tyler still sitting at his desk. My heart begins to race as my mind isn't occupied with that question and I see a curious expression grow on Vanessa's face as she exists the room.

I turn to Tyler to see him slowly getting up, most likely preparing himself for my answer. He faces me and I panic and look away. What's wrong with me! come on. I need to end this. I can't keep filling him with hope. I wasn't thinking straight yesterday and I won't let him take advantage of my body again today. So why then won't my legs stop shaking. I feel myself become wet and I keep avoiding eye contact.

"So?" he says in a deep and condescending tone.

My heart won't stop racing and I can't seem to gather my thoughts.

"We can't do this!" I cried in a shakey voice. "I'm your teacher and its wrong. Haven't you thought of what could happen if someone sees us and finds out! I could ruin your life and I'd loose my job!"

"I don't care!"

He exclaimed with a pained expression.

"I don't care. I'm in love with you and I can't help it! how is that so wrong?"

"Tyler..."

He leaned down and kissed me and I couldn't react fast enough to stop him. I pulled away and tears fall from my cheeks.

"Give me more time...."

I see regret and and hope in his eyes.

"Fine.."

He turned away, grabbed his things, and rushed out the door. I did it again... I gave him hope. I led him on. I couldn't help it though. It pained me to turn him down after looking at his face. What am I going to do? I wiped my tears, packed up all the assignments and headed home for the weekend.