Chapter 3: Hugs

"Please pull me in and hold me tight so I can feel you. Your embrace, your heat and your heart beat"

-Cole pov-

It's been almost two weeks since the last incident and for me, Tessa has gone worse. After we got back from the hospital, she started to lock herself in her room and since then, we barely ever seen her out.

Me and mom have to keep her eating, so the only way we could do that is to put the food tray in front of the door everyday, telling her to eat when she feels like it but none of big things happen. She doesn't open her sealed shut door, nor eat anything and even if she does, it's just a tiny bits of it, enough for a bite and it is so worrisome.

Night time was worse for her. Every night she would scream and cry because of nightmares, but we just couldn't open the door because there was no spare key, and we knew Tess doesn't want us to open that door nonetheless.

Maybe some people would think, we could knock the door over, but no, real life doors are more solid than you think it is, nothing can be done and all we can do is hope for the best. Pray for the best. And the nightmares will stop after an hour or two, then she'll calm down by herself.

The doctors told us the reason that happens to her is because she is diagnosed with Acousma, making her hear imaginary sounds of her trauma.

She does see a therapist for her trauma, depression and anxiety. So eating sleeping pills and anti-depressant became her daily routine that sometimes she passes our due to overdose and dehydration. She rarely talks, and when she does she got mad and the anxiety attack came so sudden that she started crying and rambling for no reason. I think she has gone horribly hurt, with all the horrible things that happened to her every night, but then again, we all wanted her to heal, but we knew it all takes so much time to happen.

She had to take a fully rest from school because of her condition, and thankfully the school understands as she already took her college entrance exams and passed. So she'll take a rest for a while until her condition gets better, then continue to start her life when she's better enough.

Mom had decided that maybe we should move away from California for a while to treat her and have our own place of healing and I think that was a good idea if we move to somewhere nice where we can focus on her recovery.

So we started packing our stuffs and then mom told me to pack Tessie's stuff as well.

Slowly, I knocked on her door, waiting for her to open it.

"Hey little sis, mind if I come in?" I asked. She doesn't really open the door so I'm kind of uneasy but it all dissolved when she nodded, before opening it a little wider for me to come in.

"Thanks,," I said as I walked away to her wardrobe, "We're going for a trip, so I'm here to help you pack."

"W-W..Where are we going?" I heard she stuttered and I immediately looked into her direction and smiled.

She talked.

"I still don't know. Mom said it's a surprise. She really prepared so many things" I told her but she kept on looking down. I think she's feeling insecure.

Feeling proud of her changes, I took a seat next to her on the bed.

"Hey cupcake, you know what? I'm really really proud of you" I genuinely smiled at her.

-Tessa pov-

When he said that, I take my whole courage to look at him in the eyes. And there he is smiling.

I cant believe he still looks at me the same way, even though all I did was disappoint them. I cant believe, I believed the demon in my head that constantly tells me that everyone hates me.

The doctor said that it's the imaginary sounds that I'm hearing, but little did he knew that the imaginary sounds that I'm hearing is my own voice repeatedly saying, "it's your fault"?

I hated it. That's why I kept on yelling to make it go away like a little kid would do, because that's the only way.

"I love you and i always will cupcake. You're my forever baby sister and so is mom's baby daughter. We both love you. If we hated you don't you think that we could've ran away and gave up?? But we don't. So don't let those thoughts get to you and focus on your happiness. Don't worry about anything because I'm here to protect you and support you." I felt his strong arms wrapped around mine as the tears quickly forming and rolling down to my cheeks.

It's been a long time since I felt a warm hug.

I know the moment I felt this hug again, I am very lucky to have a brother like him. They could've gave me up, but I know how much they fought for me, to make me better. It must've been difficult for them too, but I'm glad I have them. I really do.

____________________

We're already on the plane to Norway and my mom is preparing everything so well. We did talk but it was enough but exchanging a couple of words, either just one or two. Its not that it's awkward, but it just felt a little weird.

After a couple hours on the plane, we finally arrived and made our way to the rented house. We arrived in the middle of the night that as soon as we got the the house, we literally just slept.

That morning, I woke up hearing someone knocking on my door, it's my brother. I didn't take my pills last night, so I only slept for like an hour or two and stayed up the rest of the night doing nothing.

"Hey cupcake, good morning. Mom prepared breakfast so make sure you get up. We'll be waiting" he said then closing the door back, leaving.

"Sweetheart good morning" As soon as I came into the dining room, mom welcomes me with a bright smile I haven't seen for a long time. I smiled back at her, muttering a small "good morning, what are you cooking?"

It took a second for mom to reply before saying, "Pancakes. And hot chocolates with marshmallows in it"

"And we also have tons of KitKats for you" Cole interrupts, emphasizing the word 'and'.

An awesome breakfast I missed as hell.

It's kinda weird when we sat together and ate together at the table after such a long time, it feels very foreign. After the awkward silence, mom then decided to break the silence, "I'm really happy for you," she said, looking at me with a soft motherly smile that never left her face since I saw her this morning.

She reaches her hands out, squeezing mine slightly in a loving manner saying, "I'm happy that you're back like this again. I finally feel like my life is complete now that I have my daughter back".

I dont know what she did that makes me all teary, but what I'm sure is those words that came from her is what I needed to hear the most from her all this time. She stood up from her seat, walking over to me with her arms open and embraced me into her arms. "I love you honey. Thank you so much"

No mom, thank you.

And I love you too.