9. Long Overdue

I lowered my eyes as Yna's words echoes in my mind.

"I… I know." I said weakly.

"You and I have a lot of power. You could have forced Tasha into allowing the Rendaro from Eimval to move to Iana and it she refused, we'd simply have told her how many lives would be lost if she resisted, even if we wouldn't kill anyone. Then we would have pushed your restoration plan forward while preparing for the arrival of the Foph and the Moon King by gathering allies with a bit more force and determination. But you just stood there, trembling under the weight of it all." Yna said.

She then let out a deep sigh before sitting next to me.

"Well, I'm surprised you managed to last as long as you did. I also thought that you would let all the power get to your head, but you didn't. You played it all so safe that you ended up cornering yourself- but you already know all this. The question is, Katsíki, what now?" Yna asked.

I looked up and met her gaze to find the strangest expression on her face.

It almost seemed as though she was excited.

"I… I want to rest for a bit." I said.

Yna nodded before spreading her arms.

I stood up and walked toward her before she gently wrapped her arms around me.

"Rest, then. Tomorrow is another day. I eagerly await to see what decision you end up making."

I weakly nodded before closing my eyes to sleep.

.

..

"Whew, that was something."

A certain voice said.

I opened my eyes to find Kenos playfully floating in front of me.

"Hey," I said weakly.

"What's with the long face? I saw you out there and I commend you for trying, but sometimes it can't be helped." Kenos said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean sacrifices often have to be made for the greater good. The needs of the many and whatnot." Kenos said, but for some reason, I felt a strange feeling rising within my core.

An anger, a deep frustration that I struggled to keep in.

"What would you do if you were the one who had to be sacrificed for some greater good?" I asked, but Kenos simply crossed his arms as he floated away.

"Can't say. What I do know is that not all is lost. The Dark Expanse has tons of magic for me to feed on. You could just survive until I revive and we could… well, I actually don't know what I'll do, but we'll sort that out when the time comes."

"Would you ever consider helping out your people? Surely they would listen to advise if it came from the great Kenos himself." I asked.

"Mmm… A firm, yet careful hand is required to mould clay into pots. You are a careful sort and you have a firm hand in the form of a certain golden knight, yet you shy away from the directness that is required from a leader." Kenos said with closed eyes.

"You're avoiding my q-"

"However! With time, I feel that you will become the mightiest leader of all. One who, although it is his biggest weakness, will lead with caution and care." Kenos said as my vision darkened.

"This is a new world for you, Katsíki. It will not bend to your will. However, you must have the resolve not to succumb to its attempts at breaking you. I wish you good luck. For our sake."

.

..

I awoke atop Yna's lap.

She gently rubbed my head as the cold morning winds blew by.

I lightly stretched, prompting her to let me go and I hopped out from her embrace.

I then looked into her eyes to find that they hadn't changed.

They had this brilliant, gold glow that seemingly intensified with every passing second.

"Good morning," I said and Yna nodded.

"I… any idea what we should do now?" I asked, my heart aching somewhat. It was a faint ache so I chose to ignore it.

"I have no thought on the course of action we should take. That being said, I will follow you, even if we wander aimlessly." Yna said with a gentle smile.

My eyes narrowed briefly before turning to the direction I thought was south.

"Karish mentioned the Ash Wraiths. Where are they?" I asked.

"They live in the Ash Wastes far south, but if you thought this place was desolate and barren, that place is even worse. It's very cold and the terrain is jagged. The Ash Wraiths are also extremely dangerous. Wild warriors who ride vicious beasts. They brutally slaughter and eat whatever they find. Whatever your goal is, I hope you consider all that." Yna said.

I nodded before looking west.

"What's out there?"

"Nothing much. Sand, sand and more sand."

"Why don't we start our own settlement? We could help people on our own terms."

"Oh?" Yna sounded as she walked to where I stood.

"If that's your goal then I suggest we do that back home."

"But that's where your house is," I said while glancing at Yna.

"Bah! Worry not about that little place. I've made more memories in my short time with you than the eternity I spent sleeping in that place. Also, I'm not saying we should destroy it. We could build around it. A sanctuary. We could call it… Katsíki's Sanctuary. A place where that little, hopeful flame of yours could grow." Yna said.

"Mmm… calling it that would be troublesome," I said as I walked northward.

"How about we call it the Cradle of Hope's Flame? No, too long and weird."

"I don't think it's weird at all, but it could be shorter. The Cradle of Hope?" Yna asked.

"Yeah! We'll call it that until we think of something better." I said while taking energetic steps towards a destination I honestly didn't know.

I was afraid, but I wasn't going to give up.

Not on myself and definitely not the Rendaro.

.

..

Yna and I returned to her cabin and I immediately began work on planning the layout for our settlement.

I created a black flat sheet which changed according to whatever design I had, but no matter how long I sculpted different layouts, none of them were any good. Not from a tactical standpoint at least.

The plateau atop which Yna's cabin sat was on the border that separated Lanceberg from the Dark Expanse. This meant that it was basically sandwiched between the two sides.

The plateau had access to a source of clean water and was covered in untainted vegetation.

We could plant all manner of crops on top and below the plateau.

All I'd need to do is absorb a ton of darkness and lay the foundations for future farmlands!

These thoughts all rushed to my head, but I quickly took a mental step back and reassessed my situation.

I thought about my previous life as I comfortably sat on Yna's mat.

The light of the setting sun gently bathed the cabin interior, allowing me to peacefully look back at the time I spent with my mother, my sisters and my friends.

I thought about the nihilistic path I took.

A path that led to me distancing myself from those I cared for.

I didn't do it because I hated them and they didn't hate me, I just lost the ability to care at some point.

I wish I could go b-

"Whew! I didn't know this hill was so big." Yna said as she entered the cabin.

She then wiped the non-existent sweat on her brow before sitting next to me.

She then keenly inspected my map before glancing over at my sitting self.

"You ok?" She asked.

"Y- yeah, I'm good. Ahem! Tell me what you think." I said while looking directly at the map.

Yna loudly hummed as she dramatically placed her hand over her mouth.

I then noticed the many small scars that lined her lips.

Her entire face was covered in scars.

I wondered how she got them-

"A wooden wall would fall extremely quickly. Having towers here and here would be best, but we don't have any scouts and I'm guessing you're not planning on taking a job that requires you to skip sleep." Yna said as she pointed at various parts of the plateau.

"Mmm… yeah, I like sleeping. Anyway, what do you mean? The Rendaro all use simple spears and swords. A sturdy enough wall would be able to keep them at bay. Especially if we erect it along the top edge of the plateau." I asked.

Yna crossed her arms and shook her head.

"You're thinking far too conservatively. The Rendaro have magicians and the strongest of magicians are capable of toppling fortresses."

"Then what alternative do you offer?" I asked and Yna simply pointed at my map.

I narrowed my eyes in thought.

"You want me to… create… more maps-?"

"Use your darkness to create a wall. That way, we can shape it however we want and we can reinforce it endlessly. As I'm sure you saw in the city beneath Eimval. We'll start with the southern edge and work our north since the Foph are more likely to cause trouble." Yna said as she stood up.

"Come on." She beckoned and I promptly followed her out of the cabin.

We then made our way toward the southern edge of the plateau.

Yna pointed at the edge.

"I want you to create a flat sheet of darkness along this edge. Send foundational roots up to the surface and we'll connect the bricks to them afterwards." She instructed.

I nodded before sending out a wave of dark smoke.

It slowly fell to the ground and seeped into the soil.

I buried the darkness about a meter underground before creating countless tendrils that reached upwards.

Yna nodded to herself as multiple black spikes appeared on the ground.

"How tall should I make them?" I asked.

"Depends on how tall we want the wall to be."

"So…"

"About four times my height," Yna said.

I nodded before cresting a wall of roots that was about twenty four or so meters tall.

"Good, now for the part that'll take the longest. You'll need to continuously pour darkness into this structure until it becomes strong enough to withstand, say… one of my punches." Yna said as she sat next to me.

"That sounds a little extreme. How common are golden knights and could they pose a threat to our little base of operations?" I asked as I plopped onto the warm, fresh grass.

I then began sending out darkness into the thorny structure.

"My kind are indeed rare, but you can never be too safe."

"Understandable," I said before focusing on my task.

Well, I tried.

Yes, black smoke kept pouring out from my every part, but my mind kept thinking back to a time long gone.

I thought about the countless nights I spent in my small apartment, living as the days came.

Wishing for something to happen without putting any effort into sparking any change.

I stubbornly clung to my routine while desperately praying for something to alter it.

Being alone for so long made me forget how to want.

Or maybe I had that problem long before I moved into the place where I would spend my final moments.

I looked up into the dark evening sky and begged for the ability to cry.

Even if it was just for a moment-

[I can help.]

A certain voice said.

"Mmm?" I sounded.

"What?" Yna asked.

"Oh- nothing. Excuse me, I need to visit the little goat's room." I said as I stood up.

"What?" Yna asked with a confused raised eyebrow.

"I wanna pee!" I yelled needlessly loudly before walking into the forest deep.

I looked around and saw that I had gotten quite far and so, after taking a deep breath, I sat down.

"What did you mean back there?" I asked, the aching in my heart now a burning pain.

[Give me a moment.]

Kenos said before my body was enveloped in black smoke.

My body then changed into that of a little goat boy, but I still had no idea what Kenos's intentions were.

"What now?" I asked as I stretched my little hands.

A moment passed and I got no response from Kenos.

I sat down before tucking my legs into my hands as I waited.

As the minutes ticked on, I felt the ache from before only this time it had an unexpected effect.

I touched my face to find that it was wet.

I frantically tried wiping the tears that endlessly fell, but at some point, I gave up and fell to my side as the ache intensified.

I had, for the first time in a long time, begun to cry.