1. Yellow Skin Seeking Ennoblement

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Do you know about the Chuma Immortals from the Northeast?

Every creature in the universe has a spirit, and these spirits undergo reincarnation generation after generation.

What do you want to obtain? Then what will you offer in exchange?

Carve the bones, strip the flesh, sacrifice your own soul.

In the left hand, the Wenwang Drum, and in the right, the Banishing Whip.

Humming an ancient tune with a lingering charm...

Friend, I have arrived.

...

...

My name is Bai Zitong.

I'm a sophomore in college and a Reserve Junior Horseman.

That is to say, a Chuma Immortal. 'Di Ma' is the jargon used within the trade.

I wasn't long born when my parents died in a car accident.

I grew up by my grandma's side,

My grandma was a well-known Chuma Immortal within ten miles and eight villages. Coupled with my constitution of pure Yin, born in the Yin Year, Yin Month, and Yin Hour, according to my grandma, I was naturally suited for the work of a Chuma Immortal.

Since a young age, my health has never been good; it was only through the Immortal Family that my grandma called upon that my life was preserved.

Grandma said that when I was born, many chickens died in the yard, and several bolts of lightning fell from the sky. Bizarre occurrences happened frequently, seemingly signifying that my fate would not be smooth sailing. Becoming a Chuma Disciple was also for the better, having the Immortal Family's help is better than facing it all alone.

Right now, I'm kneeling at the entrance of the hall, being harshly scolded by my grandma and a lump of dough.

The situation is indeed... bizarre.

A standard Di Ma's family would have all the support beams and pillars intact, a hall full of the Immortal Family.

They worship the four great clans of Hu, Huang, Chang, and Mang, as well as Master Qingfeng.

All five factions together!

When it comes to Immortal Bai and Hui, their number is small, and they are considered external to the five elements; however, their presence is also found above the hall's entrance.

My grandma's hall has a few of Immortal Bai and Immortal Hui's families.

The halls are generally divided into two types, the Literally Hall and The Martial Hall.

The Literally Hall diagnoses illnesses, while The Martial Hall conducts grand shamanic rituals.

My grandma runs a Literally Hall, usually diagnosing illnesses for others, and occasionally looking into other matters.

According to grandma, we're now in a time of peace; the twisted and strange events she experienced in her youth wouldn't happen nowadays.

I have never seen a legitimate Martial Hall. Grandma said it's because in the past, such halls would follow strict full possession rituals, but now, there are hardly any that do; they mostly carry out half-possession rituals, which reduces the accuracy of their predictions.

A full possession is when an immortal personally intervenes in a matter, while a half possession is when an immortal provides hints, and one has to guess the rest.

Naturally, it can't compare.

It's not that Di Ma's don't want to perform full possessions, but the issue is whether they have enough spiritual power. Without enough power, even if you want to possess, you can't.

If you try anyway, you might just make things worse.

Because the Sect Leader in charge of my grandma's hall is Huang Xian, I normally have more exposure and understanding of Huang Xian.

Normally, after Huang Family People cultivate successfully, they will face a tribulation: the visitation of the Yellow Skin to seek acknowledgment. They would meet a fated person on the road and stand upright to ask this question:

"Fellow countryman, do you see me as a human, or as a divine being?"

The question more or less goes like that.

If the person answers human, then the cultivator's spiritual power will be nullified, and they must start their cultivation anew.

If the answer is divine, then they can become Huang Xian, and furthermore, owe that person a lifetime of gratitude.

The Huang Family has lost many heirs over time because of this matter.

Because each time they can only ask one person, and if that person's answer is human, the spiritual power is wasted, and re-cultivation is often beyond the limits of a human lifespan.

If the person runs away without answering, or speaks nonsense, and the ordained time passes, then another cycle of sixty years is needed for re-cultivation.

Therefore, to increase the success rate, they have thought of some strategies. Some halls will have Reserve Junior Horsemen like me, and among them, a small number won't have undergone the full opening of channels.

For example, me...

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Grandma said her health was strong and she could preside over the family's affairs for a few more years without a problem. She wanted to wait until I graduated from college and had some social experience before having me officially take over.

You can't be fooled if you have more life experience.

So she only opened my eyes and ears.

I could see and hear the Immortal Family, but I just couldn't be possessed and do their work.

This was a great thing for the descendants of the Huang Family.

Once you officially opened your senses, you were considered a Chuma Disciple, but me... I was like an ordinary person who knew all the rules.

When the full moon came around in my childhood, Grandma would have me walk down a deserted path. As I slowly walked forward, Yellow Skins wanting to ask for my blessing would wait for me there.

I would respectfully salute every Yellow Skin that approached me for a blessing, saying, "You resemble a deity."

The most I ever said it in one night was more than twenty times.

On the spot, their forms would grow larger, and their faces would change, signifying they had attained the Dao and could continue to practice more advanced techniques.

After attaining the Dao, they would ask me what I wanted. Each time I'd say to give some help to Grandma, that was enough. I couldn't bear all their gratitude myself.

After all, deceiving the heavens is not something you can do so brazenly.

This blob in front of me, with a 'chu' sound, going berserk...

Was an accident.

A few days ago, my dorm roommate was celebrating his birthday, and several of us were drinking in the room. Halfway through, we ran out of alcohol, and after I lost at rock-paper-scissors, I went downstairs to buy more...

Having had a bit too much to drink, my mind turned fuzzy as a breeze hit me, and as I stumbled forward, I heard someone ask me...

"Do I look more like a human or a deity to you..."

I was disoriented and light-headed, and had forgotten all about the blessings at the moment. Since it was a question I'd been asked ever since I was small, I got confused and replied impatiently,

"You look like... poop... you look like..."

Only to hear the Yellow Skin howl in distress and, in the blink of an eye, transform into a lump... a lump of... poop.

Immediately, I sobered up. Sweat broke out from my cold skin in layers. I tried saying "You resemble a deity" several times, but to no avail. Finally, I had to rush back to ask Grandma for help. Thank heavens this descendant of the Huang Family still had his magic and ran off crying on his own...

Otherwise, I really wouldn't know how to bring him back home.

...

"What did I tell you! Drinking causes troubles! We, Chuma Disciples, must not indulge in alcohol! Get on your knees! Stay kneeling! I need to properly punish you today! Look what you've done to a good fairy! You little rascal! Do you really not understand the severity of your actions! Keep kneeling! Stay there kneeling!"

I knew well that Grandma was scolding me like this to protect me. Huang Xian hated evil with a vengeance, always seeking redress. If Grandma kept shielding me, it would make things worse. I rubbed my numb legs, daring not to move, and said with grievances,

"Yes, yes, yes. After I had a couple drinks, I didn't know who I was. But I really didn't anticipate this outcome... Normally at most I'd have to practice for sixty more years... Why did it end up actually transforming? I even repeated 'You resemble a deity' several times afterward, to no avail... Most of them used to come back for blessings... It's the first time I've encountered one near the school..."

To be fair, I feel somewhat wronged by this whole ordeal. There've been plenty of people who gave thoughtless answers before, and nothing bad happened.

So why does it have to be when it comes to me...

As I think about it, I glance at the transformed poop. Oddly enough... it's quite well-shaped.

It's similar to the poop in cartoons. And if you don't look at it...

The moment I do, it starts to sob and complain...

The voice is shrill, as if it could shred one's mind into pieces.

"Third Great-Grandma said I was the most promising of the younger generation. I was hoping that after becoming an immortal, I could... I could proudly honor my ancestors, marry a beauty, and have a bunch of kids! I've been a serious and diligent student since childhood! And now what... a lump of poop! You have to find a way to change me back! I'll cling to you every day! Smother you with stench! Smother you to death!"

I stepped back, afraid that the lump of poop would smear on me if it got too agitated.

Just then, a gust of wind blew in, and Grandma's hair fluttered. Her eyes suddenly turned amber, her pupils vertical, surrounded by a misty halo.

An Immortal had arrived.

And not just one.

"Give me... a joint..."

The voice was equally shrill but lacked the venomous edge, far less harmful than the complaining poop.

I recognized the voice instantly; it belonged to Huang Shufen, the Immortal Family member closest to Grandma and also one of the earliest by her side.

She was of high standing and had considerable abilities among those at the Literally Hall.

Among the mist that surrounded us were three or four members of the Huang Family, as if they had come together.

I didn't care about my numb legs, I scrambled to light some cigarettes for the Immortals and offered a few incense sticks as well.