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I Didn't Even Want to Live, But God Forced Me to Reincarnate!

A duke’s daughter wanted nothing in her life but the sweet nothingness of death, as she felt like her life served no purpose. Her wish was granted when she was killed in an unfortunate accident, yet in a sudden turn of events, she was forced to reincarnate. As fate has it, she was reborn in her original world, but not directly after her death. As she is living her new life, she tries to forget the pain of her old life. But, what exactly is behind her reincarnation? Will she be able to live her new life to the fullest? This is a slow-paced life journey of a reincarnated girl who's trying to find the meaning behind her past life and reincarnation. -------------------------------------------- ***Note*** : - This story isn't a premium novel here, but if you'd like to support me even further (and gain advanced chapter access + help increasing the novel's update rate), here is my Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/ConvallariasLibrary Or if you prefer ko-fi (one time donation), here you go: https://ko-fi.com/A1864CG3 I'll be very thankful to you if you want to support this novel! ^^ - Chapter numbering or parting in Webnovel will be different than other platforms. - More info about what you can expect from this story (may give a vague spoiler) can be read in the review that I wrote. - If you're interested in joining my Discord server: https://discord.gg/qdF55vE Thanks for reading and for all who show your support (via comments, powerstones, etc)!

LynneSuzuran · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
225 Chs

Werebeasts (1)

"CLAVISSSSS! HWAAAAA! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

Upon arriving home, Mom and Niina were thankfully already there.

And yes, immediately after Clavis entered the house, Niina already sprung up to him, crying as she hugged her son.

I felt like she trembled while hugging Clavis so tightly, as if she was afraid she'd lose him again if she let go of him...

Clavis only smiled wryly, tears were brimming from the corner of his eyes.

"Dad? Where are the twins?" I asked after I couldn't see the twins' figures even after looking to the left and to the right.

"They're already asleep. Although they insisted on waiting for you guys to come back," Dad smiled.

"Lyra? Alt?" Mom called out to me and Alt-nii.

"Thank you for your hard work. Come here, let me check if you have some wounds or not. Clavis, too," Mom said, gesturing us to come to her.

"We're fine, Mom, really," Alt-nii reassured her.

"There, you have some superficial wounds. Let's heal them."

"It's nothing, really. Mom is tired too, right? I can fix the wounds myself, I'm not a child anymore," Alt-nii resisted.

"Come on, now, you will always be my child no matter how much time has passed."

"Altaire, it's fine, just let your mother do it," Dad smiled and urged Alt-nii to just receive Mom's care.

"...fine," Alt-nii blushed a little bit.

"Now, now, what's there to be embarrassed about?" Mom laughed looking at the unusual bashful Alt-nii.

Meanwhile, Clavis and Niina were sitting near the fireplace, drinking some hot chocolate to calm themselves after crying.

Mom glanced at them and understood that she should give them some time first. So, she turned to me and said, "Alt is done. Now it's your turn, Lyra."

Honestly, I didn't think I had some kind of wounds at all, but... Learning from Alt-nii's experience just now, I obediently approached Mom and nodded.

"There, good girl, Lyra," Mom said as she examined my body thoroughly.

"You're only fatigued and your body's cold, even if you don't really feel any cold due to your affinity to Ice magic."

"Mmhm, thanks, Mom!"

Mom then looked at Niina and Clavis. She heaved a sigh before deciding to approach Clavis.

Much to our surprise, Clavis retreated a bit, as if he was scared.

Mom looked stunned for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure and smiled.

"Everything will be fine, Clavis," Mom tried to reassure him.

"I... I have something to tell everyone... Especially Mom and Dad," Clavis' voice trembled.

Niina had already calmed down her sobs, so she quickly answered, "Your father should be here soon. As much as I want to hear your reason already... Let's wait for him to be here. Let's have Cassie-sama examine you..."

"I...," Clavis looked at Mom, doubt was obvious in his eyes.

Mom smiled wryly and tried to reassure him, "I will only be healing your wounds. I promise I won't say anything other than that."

Albeit a bit reluctant, Clavis finally let go of his mother's embrace and walked in front of Mom.

Mom chanted a magic spell to examine Clavis and to heal his wounds. In the middle of the process, Mom opened her eyes in surprise, only to meet Clavis' scared eyes. Clavis was scared that Mom would say something about her discovery.

Mom understood right away from Clavis' gaze, so she remained silent. Clavis heaved a sigh of relief.

Yes, Mom's magic scanned Clavis' body thoroughly, and under the assumption that being a werebeast changed something in Clavis' body... Mom would definitely notice that.

In the meantime, I approached Niina and tugged her sleeves.

"Hmm? What is it, Lyra-sama?" Niina tried to smile, but traces of her tears and panic were still apparent.

I placed both of my hands closer to her ear and whispered, "Hey, Niina, why aren't you scolding Clavis who ran away from home right after finding him?"

I made sure that Clavis won't hear my question... or Clavis would be trembling in fear of me, who seemed to be rooting for him to get scolded...

Though a beastman's five senses should be sharper—a werebeast even more so—I just hoped Clavis was too focused on Mom that he didn't notice me. When I saw that he didn't seem to react much to my question, I felt relieved.

Niina was stunned at my question, but she smiled and explained.

"Well, when I first realized he ran away from home, I so wanted to find him and scold him for doing such a thing. But the next moment, panic and [what if]s started to flood my mind, especially when we couldn't find him for a while. Soon, the thought of scolding him disappeared, and I was overcome with guilt. I thought that it was my fault that he... did what he did."

"...Niina, you know, that is definitely not the case."

"You think so, Lyra-sama? You didn't think I was a failure of a mother...?" Niina bitterly smiled.

"No... Not at all, Niina. You're a good mother."

I wanted to say more than this in order to cheer her up, but I couldn't think of any words. However, Niina's smile seemed to be brighter than it was before. So... I'd like to think that my efforts to cheer her up succeeded.

***

"I apologize for this troublesome son of mine! Clavis, you should apologize as well!"

That was the first thing I heard from Clavis' father.

Clavis' father was rather a bulky beastman with grey eyes just like Clavis, and a hair with a darker shade of silver. He was quite tall and imposing, especially with his stern gaze. Yet, I could see a hint of worry deep inside.

Clavis' father was holding Clavis' head, instructing Clavis to bow down deeply in apology to us.

"It's fine, Clavis must have a reason behind his action, too, right?" Dad smiled and gestured the pair of father and son to stop bowing their heads in apology.

"No, no matter what the reason is, he has inconvenienced the family we've been indebted to. This is also my fault, I've failed to teach my son well," Clavis' father insisted, still bowing his head.

"D-dear... Don't be too harsh on Clavis...," Niina tried to cool the situation.

"No, it's true that we need to discipline him more," Clavis' father insisted.

"Rudolf...," Niina pleaded.

"Now now, shall we sit down and listen to Clavis' explanation first? After that, you can have a family discussion about disciplining him or anything...," Mom decisively said with a bitter smile.

Well, Mom knew what was going on, after all.

After that, all of us were gathered in the living room.

As the people who knew what was going on, also the ones who discovered Clavis, Alt-nii and I (plus Rurune) were sitting next to Clavis.

"Alright, son, be a man and explain everything to us," Clavis' father—Rudolf—said.

"I...," Clavis seemed scared.

"Clavis? If you're unable to explain it well, then I'll do the explanation for you," Alt-nii tapped Clavis' shoulders and offered.

I placed my hand on top of his trembling hand and said, "Everything will be alright, Clavis."

I couldn't do anything other than this.

Clavis turned to look at me and Alt-nii alternatively. After thinking for a while, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

When he opened his eyes next, I saw a look of determination.

"Mom, Dad, I have something I need to tell you...," Clavis started to explain.

About how he noticed something was amiss when he started being unable to control his own emotions—like getting angry easily and such. At first, he also thought it was due to him going through puberty.

However, he then started to realize that parts of his body transformed into that of a wolf's. It happened briefly, but he had a bad premonition...

He was still in denial at that time, fearing for the worst if he was really a werebeast.

But when the full moon shone on one night—the night when he escaped—he noticed a strange urge flowing through his body.

And Clavis became scared. Scared that he would be unable to control himself anymore.

Out of fear of hurting everyone and fear of getting shunned, Clavis immediately decided to escape before his body got turned into his werebeast form.

He said that his memories after turning into a werebeast were hazy—and when he regained parts of his consciousness, he was already near the lake, with me and Alt-nii standing on the opposite side of him.

"..."

Everyone was silent after listening to Clavis' story. Niina seemed like she was still trying to grasp the whole explanation, while Rudolf was thinking with his eyes closed, making it difficult to read what was in his mind.

"...I know it's difficult to believe, but that's the truth. Lyra and Altaire can testify to that. Even I really want to think of it as nothing but a nightmare...," Clavis clenched his fists with his head hung down.

"Clavis... is that so...?" Niina's voice trembled, which made Clavis tremble as well.

Clavis was afraid Niina would be scared of himself.

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