Darkness of a fool

It was already late at night. In a quiet part of the street, Shao Yan stood silently in the middle of the road. Her heart was repeatedly whispering 'why' to the gods.

Flashbacks started to haunt her sights.

'Are you tired? Here, drink this, Yan Yan.'

Liwei was standing suavely in front of her, grinning like a fool. In his hands were two cups of bubble tea. He just chased her down after her Business Administration class, and she was about to go home. While she stood in the shadow looking at this foolish couple, she saw her younger self was smiling coquettishly at him.

However, the curve of her lips right now was not the shyness of a teenager. It was a smile of bitter sadness.

'Trust me, Yan Yan'

Liwei had his arms over her shoulders, kept her close to his embrace; giving her warmth. They were sitting in front of her house, on the roadside while looking at the stars. He just told her about his acceptance letter to go to country U.

It was so warm then; yet it is so cold now. She unconsciously raised one hand and touched her own shoulder, searching for the warmth that she was longing to find.

'You are my happiness, Yan Yan.'

Looking down surprised, Shao Yan gasped at how Liwei was on one knee, he was smiling as he was holding onto a solitaire ring. He was proposing to her. She was stuttering and her face was blushing so hard that night.

But the redness in her cheek right now, was because of misery and despair.

Darkness surrounded her. She turned her head to the right and she saw him smiling so warmly while holding white roses in his hands. She wanted to smile back at him but she slowly turned her head to the left. She saw him there, standing with his back against her, laughing so warmly with another person. Her spirit and her mind were spent and she did not know what to do.

.....

People would stop and watch her for a while, before walking away. A kind person who was passing by; he saw the drenched girl under the rain. He finally decided to approach her. He covered her with his umbrella and then led her back to the sheltered area. He saw that her wet hair was sticking onto her face; her big round eyes were dull and lifeless.

He took off his jacket and handed it to her, before walking away. She reflexively took it and just stared at it absentmindedly. She took a deep breath and slowly put on the jacket to keep herself warm. She groggily scanned her surrounding with her cold gaze and finally realized where she was. She sighed and laughed at her own sad self. She walked by herself this far? How did she even ended up here. It was 30 minutes away from home.

She decided to flag down a taxi to go home.

.....

## Back to present ##

His fingers suddenly wrapped around her upper arm, and tugged her into his embrace. Her nose bumped into his sturdy chest and she could feel his other arm swiftly wrap around her body and squeeze her tight. His deep voice growled above her, "That's enough! Don't say anymore."

His eyebrows were scrunched so tight. Li Xiqing was angry. He was beyond angry, he was enraged.

Shao Yan could hear his strained voice. He was holding back his anger, while trying to hold her gently in his embrace.

He was afraid that she was remembering too much and eventually drown herself in another sorrow. Unconsciously, he wrapped his arms around her too tight. But the next second, he realized that he was hurting her, so he slowly relaxed.

It took her a while to bring herself back to the present.

She was remembering three years ago; she could feel all her pain and heartache from that day slowly consuming her.

When she was finally fully aware of the present, she realized that she was actually crying. And this was exactly the reason why Li Xiqing went livid and stopped her. Shao Yan slowly responded to his hug, she circled her arms around his waist. She pressed her wet cheek onto his chest and gradually calmed herself down.

She was listening to his steady heartbeat. She took in all his scent and warmth. 'That's right, Shao Yan. It was all in the past, stop torturing yourself' She thought silently.

She slowly took a deep breath while leaning in his embrace. After a while, she slowly said, "Xiqing, this is my past. I am not some pure maiden. I ..."

"That's enough!" He cut her off before she said any further. "I have said that the past does not matter." He wrapped her closer and leaned his cheek on top of her crown, "And in the future, it will not matter."

He was leaning back on the sofa with Shao Yan wrapped securely in his embrace. Both of them did not say anything further. Her train of thought was interrupted by his burst of anger. She had lost all desire to remember anymore. She had to focus to calm his agitated heart first.

.....

Li Xiqing could feel that Shao Yan gradually relax. He put a little distant between them, and then he cupped her face. He stared into her eyes, and then he gently touched his lips on her forehead. She slowly closed her eyes, and felt his warm lips touched her skin. She softly sighed and gave a little smile.

When she was about to open her eyes, she felt that his lips had left her forehead, and was now gently kissing each of her eyelids. Each kiss was so light, touching her skin like the wings of a butterfly.

"Yan Yan" he murmured while kissing each corner of her eyes. His lips accidentally tasted her tears. He could feel a sting of pain from her despair. "Promise me," he said gently while moving down to kiss her cheeks and then kiss the tip of her nose, "That this will be the last time you cry over him."

She slowly opened her eyes, and he was staring deep into her fragile soul.

Shao Yan saw her own reflection in his eyes. She felt a blanket of security was wrapped around her, keeping her safe from the storm and turbulent.

She had never felt so calm and peaceful before.

At first, she nodded slowly. And then, as if to reassure him, and to reassure herself, she nodded vigorously and gave him a loud, "En! I promise" and then she let out a gentle grin. The corner of her mouth curved. Her dewy eyes, stained with residual tears, were sparkling like stars in a lonely night.

So bright and so mesmerizing.

Li Xiqing smiled along with her, and then he moved his face closer to her again. As he got closer, Shao Yan slowly closed her eyes again before his lips took her lower lip and started to suck on it. She kissed him back right away, while leaning her whole self into him, she circled both of her arms onto his neck. He wrapped his arms around her once more, and started to deepen their kiss.

His longing, his passion and his jealousy were all reflected in the kiss. He could not stop tasting her. Her heartache, her sorrow and her pain were all engulfed by him. She surrendered all of her self onto him.