{CHAPTER 12}

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(Warning ⚠ It might have some uncomfortable conversation and scene)

ps: is Not NSF yet... it about KAISER PAST. ...

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The beautiful paradise in the world is under the sea, flew with a small colourful fish and exotic creature that I have never seen.

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Red petal dancing under the water and baby whale is near the glass spaceship window.

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( oh wow amazing , So what rumors Kai talking about)

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Lae ask kai

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[So what rumors did you hear exactly? ]

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[nothing much, it said they have a beautiful trail underwater like we can see now" but that only applies to black crown students like us ' and second rumors is if you swim under Roses sea flowers your love will be eternal. ]

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(wow what a fairytale kind of rumors, "love is eternal who put that sh*t rumors again? )

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(..and what up with this kind of crap setting again whats it you work again your damn maiden department, I can sense a death flag 'oh no love flag")

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while they all admire under seawater

Kaiser sneaking out of from them and return to his room.

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Kaiser lay on the bed and look up at the ceiling in daze and before he knows it he fell asleep.

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Dark so dark... where am I ?

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voice of young girl with some fragments that Kaiser left behind of his past... life.. echoing.

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[R*@--n Let's break up, I don't think I deserve you, I'm sorry !!]

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[(what why, you said you love me!!!)]

( I love you ! please don't go!! ")

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she doesn't have a courage to stand by my side the so call perfect boyfriend and the pressure of other people that said she ugly.. and etc etc.

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Slap ///

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sound of being slap harshly on the cheek echoing in this darkness..

voice again come with another fragments of memory...

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[R@--n you sc*mbang , did you cheat on me!!? ]

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[[[(what, I didn't meant to !!)]]]...

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[Shut up you tr@*h , I wish you were dead !!]

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(why you didn't hear my explanation until the end??)

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We broke up because I accidentally slept with a bit*h who drug my drink..

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with a small fragments another memory came , it was when he in college and fancy someone..

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[(I love you, I'm sorry)]

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[ Don't !!" I don't want you to love me just stay away from me because of you I live in hell !!]

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the girl look at Kaiser with fear mix with longing and anger.

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yeah... later when she suicide I realized she killed herself because of bullying from the girl who love me , no "I realized it early yet it just becoming worst when he tried to protect her because of his greed the so called love and also that because it start because I love her...

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( They said love is SIN... and being born handsome also a SIN)

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[ There is another proverb that said being good looking that can destroy the country?, that not the exaggerate words it might be the truth ]

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it's not laughing matter,

[ahh... I wish I was born normal looking face..]

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have you hear this kind of word from insanely handsome looking friend or pretty girl..

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is not like we want to be ugly I love my good looking face but this face is just sin if you want to make me born let me born as handsome normal level looking face...

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crak,, the sound of glass is being crack and breaking with more another clear memories with bluur eyes.. she is beautiful young girl in his mid twenties lay on the ground bleeding..in his embrace slowly dying without a thin of warmth..

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The woman look at Kaiser with fear mix with love and anger in his tear eyes..

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[...this is all your fault, loving you is my fault ..]

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Kaiser with blurring eyes reply sadly..

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[yeah, is mine fault " I'm sorry because of me you dead wrongly.. ]

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she get stabbed by my crazy stalker...

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we barely date for 2 month, 2 month for God damn sake...

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nauseous sound echoing in my ears

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He mine, mine you can't have him!!

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Crack,

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another disgusting word came from someone and whisper..

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He mine..

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Crack.

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no, mine..

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If I can't have him then no one can!

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at some point they have some boundaries between me and them.

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they guard each other, envy the one I lay my eyes on.

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they affection, love and desire chain me and cage me.. and suffocating me.

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When I'm 34 and still single someone came to my life unexpectedly yeah it was a man who teach me a new words about love..

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[ I love you, Rai*]

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[I'm a man you know ?]

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[yeah but does it matter' I like you, you make my heart beat ]

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He straight man yet , I bend him ?

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we both learn about new world together

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yet, this sweet feeling also short live..

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He dead in a car accident because of my another crazy stalker..

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Hah.. ha..ha.ha.HA.HA.HA..

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WHAT A GOD DAMN MESS..

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CREAK// another breaking sound in this fragments of memory..

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What the fu*king fu@k who think you are to decide whom with whom.

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Mine!? who me ??? since when I'm becoming a property??

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IM NOT A GOD DAMN TOY OR PUPPET FOR YOU TO DAMN CONTROL.. AND

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DECIDED WHOM IM WITH WHO.

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YOUR NOT TO DECIDE WHO THE F*CKING F*CK IM IN LOVE WITH..

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F+CK OFFFF!!!

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More clear fragments come with dizzy felling and disgusting nauseous ..

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[Let's over it, I don't think you love me ]

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( [ No, ..I do ] )

(I'm just tired)

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tired of repeating goodbye and parting..

At some point I'm breaking and tired..

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yeah tired.. in the end I was just go with the flow.. sleep with someone who want to sleep with me.. at some point I'm not even sure who my partner I sleep with..

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I felt so low and empty..

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I'm more low than hostess "HAH"

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slowly and slowly yet surely dying inside with only warmth the body my heart felt numb and suffocating...

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///CRACK///

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THE FRAGMENTS OF GLASSES COMPLETELY BREAK WITH LOST MEMORIES...

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someone kept saying I'm being a Sc*mb but can you tell me then" what the hell should I do when all the path is only lead to this way??!!

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is not like I want it to be this way either .

It can only be this way.

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(is not like I don't but I can't. )

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Surely Love is SIN..

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LOVE IS UGLY TAINT WITH UGLY JEALOUSY

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MINI THEATER

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while Kaiser asleep in his room the trio fishes just realized Kaiser is missing..

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Hey where kaiser" ask Lae.

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the other members : ????

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Extra mini theater

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And thats how KAISER become shut in, anti social and a gamer...

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A/N: Our poor baby boy Being handsome is sin !!// so that how my Kaiser become a scumbag of top..

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