I Have Two Pasts [Part 1]

If you ask about my past, then I have two, before I was translocated into the year 3000.

Out of the two pasts that I have, there is one that begins at the age of 11, and one that comes before that. Just like infantile amnesia that occurs in children before the age of three, I do not remember much about my life as a child, before I was 11. My memory only takes me as far as when I was 11 years old. The first day of my life as I remember seems to be that time when I woke up in a place I didn't know about one morning. Every single thing from the bed to the curtains was foreign. I looked around me, in the huge room, and saw many other beds, and many children sleeping in them. I remember thinking to myself,

"Who? Where?"

That was a very simple and straightforward thought. Right then, I heard the church bell toll, and a woman dressed in a black robe entered the room with a warm smile. I knew I was not in a hostile environment, but something didn't feel right. I felt like I didn't belong there amongst the other sleeping bodies.

The nun saw me awake and was surprised a bit.

"I was right. I don't belong here in this strange place."

This was what I thought, until she came closer to me, and bent down to pat my head.

I looked up at her and immediately knew she was familiar with me.

"Should I ask her about this place? No."

"Little Hasumi. You seem to have woken up first today."

Little Hasumi? How does she know me?

Is this some sort of orphanage? Why am I here?

As she patted my head, a mix of comfort and confusion washed over me. Her touch was gentle, but it didn't erase the feeling that something was off. My gaze shifted between her and the other kids, still oblivious to my wakefulness.

Maybe I should ask her about this place? No, I can't just blurt it out. What if I'm supposed to be here?

I hesitated, wrestling with the decision to inquire about my surroundings. The urge to understand where I was conflicted with the fear of unsettling truths. I wanted to belong, but the sense of not fitting in gnawed at me. Who even was I. Why do I know so much, yet only enough to feel like I know nothing. A tear rolled down my eye, as I tightly grabbed the corner of the blanket.

What if I'm just supposed to go along with this?

My internal struggle continued as the nun continued her rounds. The room was vast, and the unfamiliar beds held more questions than answers. The other children stirred, starting to wake, and a new thought surfaced.

Maybe I should observe a bit more before asking. What if I'm overthinking this?

The minutes passed, but my uncertainty lingered. The decision to speak up weighed heavily on my mind. Eventually, a determination set in.

I need to know. I can't stay silent.

As the nun made her way to the next bed, I gathered my courage. The words formed in my mind, and I was ready to break the silence.

"Um, excuse me,"

I finally uttered, catching her attention. The nun turned toward me, her warm smile encouraging me to continue.

"How long have we known each other? And... where is this place?"

"Oh dear, little Hasumi. You really have overworked yourself again."

The nun seemed concerned and smiled nervously, putting a hand on her mouth, her eyes wide with astonishment and concern. For some reason, I felt a warmth in her gesture. She then held my hand and motioned for me to stand up.

"Alright alright, let's go to the doctor."

"Her playful voice is really soothing. I want her to care for me more."

I stood up, obliged to follow her as she led me out of the room. Lined outside the door were a lot of similar slippers, so I decided to wear a random pair.

As we walked across the narrow hallway, with many doors lined across one side, the other side of the hall opened to a small yard with trees and a grass field. The yard was surrounded by the building on all four sides with itself in the middle. A truly peaceful scene with birds chirping and the sun shining upon the place, unusually silent with occasional people wearing black robes encapsulated the surroundings. The sound of our footsteps on the concrete floor stopped when we reached the end of the hall, and the nun knocked on the door in front of us.

The priest, a simple man with a kind demeanor, greeted the nun and welcomed us into the room. The atmosphere felt different, quieter than the bustling hallway. The nun explained that I wasn't feeling well, whispering something in the priest's ears. He nodded understandingly, and she bowed before leaving.

"Come, child. Lay down, and let's see what ails you,"

The priest wore a white robe, with golden stripes stitched in the corners of the cloth. His face was round and beard silver. Even though he seemed slightly frail, wisdom emanated from the way he moved his body. Still, compared to the warmth I felt from the nun, his was more intimidated yet it felt like a protective shield that would keep safe anything close to him.

I complied, settling onto the bed while he began to check for signs of sickness. His hands were warm, and his touch reassured me despite the unfamiliar surroundings.

After a brief examination, the priest decided to bring some soup. As he left, my gaze wandered around the room. A computer, a cupboard, and a bedside table adorned with books caught my attention. Curiosity sparked within me, and I reached for one of the books.

The characters and symbols on the pages were foreign to me as much as the concept of a book itself because I had never learned to read or write. That was something I knew by instinct, because the order and understanding that any book omitted, made such a useless thing from my point of view all the more proved that it had a purpose far beyond my understanding.

When the priest returned with a bowl of steaming soup, he noticed my attempt to understand the knowledge they contained. A warm smile graced his face.

"Ah, those are books about stars and angels, my child. Fascinating and powerful.

I nodded, intrigued by the thought of celestial wonders and heavenly beings. The priest handed me the soup, and as I sipped it, a warmth spread through my body. The flavor was comforting yet it didn't surprise me, as if I had tasted it before, against my memory.

As I continued to eat, the priest took a seat and gestured towards the books.

"If you're interested, I'd be happy to teach you about the stars and angels. It's a beautiful knowledge to possess."

Grateful for his kindness, I nodded enthusiastically. The prospect of learning about the mysteries of the cosmos and celestial beings ignited a newfound excitement within me.

The priest gently took the book from my hand and opened it somewhere in the middle. I didn't understand what the small text on the top read, but there was a picture that intrigued me. It was something that looked like a six-sided star, and different symbols took position on each of the six-pointed edges.

"Do you know what this star represents?"

"Ummm, I don't."

"This star represents the field of mana. Just like a farmer has his land ready for sowing the seeds, and eventually harvesting them when the crop is ripe, this star represents the space from which magic energy is drawn."

I was very fascinated, as I looked sometimes at the image trying to etch it in my memory, and sometimes at the priest's smiling face, his warm eyes fixed on my fascinated face.

"Please tell me more."

"Well, why not. Do you know that this entire field of mana has six gates of entry? Just like a field has a fence to protect it from outsiders and wild animals, this mana field is enclosed with a barrier, and the only entry point through which mana can be stored or drawn out is from the six gates.

I quickly pointed at the six-pointed edges of the star to show the priest that I was very well understanding it and was hungry for more knowledge.

"Hmmm, you're a sharp young man. Then I'll tell you more. Each gate of the field, as I explained, is, in reality, a planet."

"Planets?"

"Yes, planets. We live on Earth. There are others up in the sky. Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Sun, and Moon. Each planet represents a different gate. Except for the moon. The moon is not a gate, but the fruit. It is the harvest of the field."

"Old man, you had to confuse me right after calling me sharp? I may disappoint you on this one!"

"I don't understand."

Being sincere and honest about it was the only way, because I absolutely didn't know a thing about the whole ordeal, and nodding would only confuse me more. So I decided to tell the priest whenever I was confused.

"Well then we'll study all about it. But for now, you rest. It is good to be curious but not at the cost of ignorance. Irony found in wisdom leads man astray."

I pouted, my head unsatisfied by the incomplete understanding of the image. I must have pouted unconsciously because the priest pressed my cheeks with his fingers.

"Well, rest today and I'll teach you starting tomorrow. And didn't mother Emi tell you?"

"Mother Emi? Is he referring to the kind lady that brought me here?"

I simply shook my head.

"Happy Birthday Little Hasumi, on your 11th birthday."

Eventually, I decided to stay at the orphanage and accept my fate. Questioning things beyond my power would only make the people who cared for me worried, and so at the age of 11 years old, I began my studies in magic with the priest. Never at that time could I have imagined that 7 years later, I would abandon magic and walk a different path to gain power.